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Liz Jones - YOU magazine (Part 4)


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Old 10-04-2016, 06:40
Bellagio
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What is OPK? (Sorry, sounding like Liz Jones/High Court Judge).
It's me not being able to spell "OK" at 6.40am before the first vat of tea.

As for the various statuses (statii ?) of the WAGfree empire...

WAGfree Brixton Ltd. - dissolved January 19th 2016
WAGfree Cafe Ltd. - dissolved April 28th 2014
WAGfree Bakery Ltd. - dissolved April 28th 2014
WAGfree Food Ltd. - active (proposal to strike off)
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Old 10-04-2016, 06:49
Bellagio
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"I’m sitting here, waiting for the man from Mercedes to turn up and take away my car. "

Thought it was a BMW ?
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Old 10-04-2016, 06:50
BellaFiga
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You would think she might be glad he'd found gainful employment rather than ask why he had to do veg box deliveries. But "glad" and "Liz" don't really go together in the same sentence.
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Old 10-04-2016, 07:35
seventhwave
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Love how Liz makes out the entire DS forum is about her and its page views are are all attributable to her - same as how on CBB she tried to make out that the entire readership of the DM was all hers

"Why aren't you reading Proust or listening to Beethoven?" Well Liz, why aren't YOU reading Proust instead of Vogue or listening to Beethoven rather than arguing with DD on Facebook?

‘About a million words a year, six books, one screenplay. I’ve written about famine, earthquakes, eating disorders, elephant abuse…’
‘Yawn.’


Best possible response to her!
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Old 10-04-2016, 08:10
BellaFiga
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Six books - recycled from her column-bilge. Which is also recycled and tweaked (hoping no-one notices). So at least she's good at recycling.
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Old 10-04-2016, 08:19
Mr Curmudgeon
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Six books - recycled from her column-bilge. Which is also recycled and tweaked (hoping no-one notices). So at least she's good at recycling.
Well at least she's economical with something apart from the truth.
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Old 10-04-2016, 08:32
Trophy_Selling
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So David reads DS then? If that's t the case David what the eff are you doing delivering veg? You're a baker in a massively growing industry. We need a WAGfre bakery in my town, in fact you should be delivering wagfree nationwide. Don't let that demented bint steal your mojo and livelihood, don't let her tell everyone you're doing menial work for her friend. You know she will use it against you at every opportunity.
You have friends and family who love you, don't isolate yourself for a bask in the dull glow of her reflected glory.
She doesn't love herself and can therefore never love you. If you are , as she constantly claims, a cannabis smoker then it's highly likely that you would tolerate a lot more crap than the average person.
You have to straighten up and wake up. She's humiliating you frequently in a national newspaper which is now read internationally. You are worth more than this, you have invested enough, don't not waste anymore time with her.
Her perceived wealth has turned out to be smoke and mirrors. she has a personality disorder, she will never ever get better or change. Believe me, I grew up with a monster like this. It had a huge negative impact on my life, don't let it ruin yours.

Last edited by Trophy_Selling : 10-04-2016 at 08:33. Reason: Autocorrect
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Old 10-04-2016, 09:00
fizzycat
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David doesn’t go into the bathroom at midnight on a Saturday because he is obsessed with me


Is this another obscure reference to his recreational drug use or is she citing his use of the bathroom at midnight as an example of his alleged self-obsession? Would he be able to surpress his bodily functions if he loved her?

If it's the latter, I need to have a serious word with hubby
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Old 10-04-2016, 09:46
amikolaichek
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Only just go round to reading this week's 'Dreary'. For now, all I can manage to say is: 'OMG!' Has the woman finally, FINALLY lost it? The (ex?) Baker gets a job (snide reference by Lizard that he's employed by one of Jones's 'friends') and she still sneers at him - 'Proust' 'Beethoven' .. because he reads us Digital Spies HERE on DS. 'Hi, David' [waving].

Can't remember if her repossessed car was a Merc or a Beemer. Anyway, it's gone ... oh, the pity, the sheer pity ...
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Old 10-04-2016, 09:49
seventhwave
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Isn't it Isabel who does the food delivery thing? Isabel who didn't speak to Liz for ages after Liz divulged something in the Dreary that Isabel had explicitly asked her not to repeat. Now back on speaking terms apparently, with Isabel caring for the menagerie in Nic's absence, yet Liz still can't keep from making a dig at her ...

David doesn’t go into the bathroom at midnight on a Saturday because he is obsessed with me


Is this another obscure reference to his recreational drug use or is she citing his use of the bathroom at midnight as an example of his alleged self-obsession? Would he be able to surpress his bodily functions if he loved her?

If it's the latter, I need to have a serious word with hubby
According to Liz, he sneaks into the bathroom at night to read stuff by or about her online in secret. Like how he "waterboarded!" his phone when he dropped it down the loo whilst using it to read her latest column and find out what she's said about him
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Old 10-04-2016, 10:03
Stinkycat
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Hi Dave. Apparently you do read this, so I just want to tell you a couple of things. The Daily Mail readers think you're a cretin because they believe every word your precious girlfriend writes. We think you're a cretin because you seem to want to be in a relationship with someone who slates you in a national paper every single week. The only person who doesn't seem to think you're a cretin is your ex-girlfriend, who also gets slated in a national paper every week, just for being your ex-girlfriend. Sort it out.
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Old 10-04-2016, 10:04
fizzycat
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According to Liz, he sneaks into the bathroom at night to read stuff by or about her online in secret. Like how he "waterboarded!" his phone when he dropped it down the loo whilst using it to read her latest column and find out what she's said about him
I'd forgotten about that. Thank you
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Old 10-04-2016, 10:14
amikolaichek
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Hi Dave. Apparently you do read this, so I just want to tell you a couple of things. The Daily Mail readers think you're a cretin because they believe every word your precious girlfriend writes. We think you're a cretin because you seem to want to be in a relationship with someone who slates you in a national paper every single week. The only person who doesn't seem to think you're a cretin is your ex-girlfriend, who also gets slated in a national paper every week, just for being your ex-girlfriend. Sort it out.
Stinkycat, I think I love you.
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Old 10-04-2016, 10:34
amikolaichek
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I'd forgotten about that. Thank you
Or ... just maybe ...he sneaked into the bathroom for 'some other purpose', seeing as he'd just had a tussle with one of the two pairs of Jones's ancient, tetrachloroethylene-infused 'dry clean only' Myla pants and she was in a strop anyway, 'cos of the 'use-by' date on the bag of spinach he'd put in her 'fridge would apparently be a 'day over' tomorrow ... so he just gave up. Frustrated, he went into the bathroom and clicked onto 'Porn H..' but, poor git, fiddling around with stuff ... unfortunately dropped his i-whatsit into the bog.
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Old 10-04-2016, 10:35
Mr Curmudgeon
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Stinkycat, I think I love you.
Seconded by me.

Interesting how my comments have not been added to the DM comments section for the umpteenth time. The Daily Mail is a pathetic excuse for a newspaper...
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Old 10-04-2016, 10:46
amikolaichek
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Seconded by me.

Interesting how my comments have not been added to the DM comments section for the umpteenth time. The Daily Mail is a pathetic excuse for a newspaper...

My 'love' I hastily add, Mr. Curmudgeon, is totally platonic, you understand, me being a blameless, celibate widow (more or less) since 1992.
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Old 10-04-2016, 11:18
amikolaichek
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Suzy_Cat, get with it, THERE IS WORK TO BE DONE! Don't rest on your laurels over that wonderful 'Scone Maker' story. I am still feeling a bit, well, weepy about final scene. Him digging his hands, with CLEAN fingernails, into the dough .... back to where he started before he met Brittly again...oh, the pathos. But - .just wondering, it's YOUR script, BUT - maybe an update, something about delivering boxes of organic veggie stuff instead of making scones, ALL due to Brittly's 'generosity, which we all know she has in spades. Perhaps she even sends the (ex) Scone Maker, now an organic veggie deliverer, a lovely 'Brora' pure cashmere apron?

Never mind. Suzy_Cat - think: future potential movie script by the 'Famous Rock Star'. And ... (now scratching my head and thinking back) wasn't there some bloke in a garage filling station that made a move on Liz? And the American married guy she banged on about years back?

Come on, Suzy, stop worrying about the Sunday roast beef or cleaning up the cat-litter trays, get typing. Oh, reminds me, I've got to do poor Nige's final few pages of movie script for Bruce W.
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Old 10-04-2016, 12:06
vampyre
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"I’m sitting here, waiting for the man from Mercedes to turn up and take away my car. "

Thought it was a BMW ?
BMW driven at high speed through flood and written off, apparently nobody ever told her not to do that.

Merc, leased amid huge bragging by her and skivvy. Repeatedly vandalised at chez Scrace.
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Old 10-04-2016, 12:21
Paula Panzer
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BMW driven at high speed through flood and written off, apparently nobody ever told her not to do that.

Merc, leased amid huge bragging by her and skivvy. Repeatedly vandalised at chez Scrace.
Presumably repossessed.

I'm sure HMRC would let her buy a cheap, older car - a nice Polo or something similar - which she could drive to the station far more economically than taking a taxi to make her essential business trips to London or wherever. Or didn't she have a Land Rover? That would do the job if she hasn't already written that off or otherwise lost it.
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Old 10-04-2016, 13:41
Ade_Lw
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Unless I'm seriously losing my marbles here, did she say that DD and Baker use this forum to host their arguments ?

Haven't yet read everyone's posts today so apologies if this has already been discussed - OR - if I've got wrong end of stick.

Mustn't forget HELLO LIZBOTT
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Old 10-04-2016, 13:53
Stinkycat
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Unless I'm seriously losing my marbles here, did she say that DD and Baker use this forum to host their arguments ?
That's what she seemed to be suggesting. You mustn't forget that she has no idea what DS is though, despite remembering exactly what page (page 52) David was allegedly reading that day.
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Old 10-04-2016, 13:56
Stinkycat
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Presumably repossessed.

I'm sure HMRC would let her buy a cheap, older car - a nice Polo or something similar - which she could drive to the station far more economically than taking a taxi to make her essential business trips to London or wherever. Or didn't she have a Land Rover? That would do the job if she hasn't already written that off or otherwise lost it.
Didn't she have to borrow Nic's Polo (or similar) in the past? It's a shame she can't do that any more.
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Old 10-04-2016, 14:06
seventhwave
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"I don’t call it ‘confessional’ (it would never be called that if men did it) – it’s just writing. Why you would write something that isn’t excruciating and real, that glosses over the fact you don’t have sex, or you don’t have any money, or your children hate you, is beyond me."

Because being a writer doesn't necessitate that you put explicit details of your life, and those of your friends/family, in print for the world to see? You can if you want to (although it's not always advisable), but it's not a sine qua non of being a writer or even a columnist. And, yes, men do "confessional" writing and I'm pretty sure it's still called confessional. Karl Ove Knausgaard is the first name off the top of my head ... and Nirps wrote in detail about his marriage and sex life with Liz. Hell, she goes on to name a male confessional writer (Hanif Qureishi), who is, yes, publicly referred to as a confessional writer. BTW, Liz, I doubt DD does email him to tell him to stop writing about his divorce ... but I also doubt he slags her off in print every week or acts like he's better than her because of the shampoo brand she uses
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Old 10-04-2016, 17:15
Ade_Lw
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I thought she was exceptionally cruel, even for her.
She alludes to things people that aren't her gloss over, the list ends with 'your children hate you', then the next sentence name checks Julie Burchill. If it were anyone other than the Lizard, it might be random, but she is so spiteful that I believe it's deliberate.
Hi Vamp, can you or anyone else do me a favour and fill me in here as no idea what article this refers to. Has anyone go a
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Old 10-04-2016, 17:26
seventhwave
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And she just loves to sound off about all the "trolls!" and "narcissists!" online, after all ...
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