You got singled out, Suzy_Cat, was because YOUR film treatment ('homage' to Truffaut)' was far far better than 'Nige's' .. And Liz and her Little trolling helper dead jealous ... 'cos how could any film script submitted by Liz top such a work of delicate, touching, genius as is The Scone Maker? But Nige isn't jealous, of course - he's the BIGGER person, generous and never grudging of the success of others ... he'll just get on building his lean-to and installing a bog in there - also inside, put up a shelf on which will stand that unopened twelve pack of Andrex, two banana scented candles each side of it, always aflame, as an everlasting Memorial to 'Who Might Have Been ...'

Meanwhile, I do hear on the grapevine that The Rock Star has started on his own film script about his 'relationship' with Jones.

I thought I imagined the deleted posts thing. My response to the "got you going" disappeared. Blimey, someone has friends in middling places.

Nige's script is bound to be ruined by Hollywood, that's the problem. Like in that delightful Comic Strip romp The Strike.

I am dying to know what the Rock Star's script has to say.

I think it's an honour ! Be proud, it's a compliment begrudgingly offered. You are now officially The Nemesis Of Liz Jones !!
Bask in that glory, cos you're a DS hero

I am sure we all look forward to the diary... "in which I confront my online trolls"....

Hmm... it is bound to happen...

Well, for the record, I'd like it known that I use mainly Head and Shoulders.

I use a Shiseido shampoo, which might just be upmarket enough for Liz ... but no, it's foreign, can't have that

Elvive for me. Cheap and cheerful.

This is a bit like "I'm Spartacus", but with hair products.

This was on page 52, the one Liz said she caught David reading. Coincidence?

I once washed my hair with some cheap supermarket bath and sink cleaner (I am extremely short-sighted). Can't say it looked any worse than it does usually ....see my (plagiarised, I admit it) 'avatar' or whatever the hell it's called on my DS details. But I reckon she looks better and I just LOVE her cat.

But I have now a brand new anxiety and one that I think Jones might be well advised to take up cudgels on (WTF are 'cudgels' when they're at home) ... I give you just TWO WORDS - 'Cat Soup'... more later, time to get ready for my doctor's appointment .... hmmm, a pair of dry-cleaned knickers, perchance? Threadbare Myla, or would he be just as impressed with my size 16 M & S 'cotton-rich' high waisters...? Decisions, decisions ...

I suspect doctors don't mind what you wear, or what hairstyle you sport below, as long as you don't smell like Ramsgate when the tide's out.

I use special shampoo for my special hair type, but unfortunately the last batch I got was a different brand and it smells sickly and gross. Liz would rightly be horrified by its naff odour.

Never been to Ramsgate. However, Hastings ... where I spent most of my formative years ...not sure if that the town's sewerage outlets still flow onto the beaches there at low tide. Made the expression 'going through the motions' when learning to swim in the Hastings sea have a whole new meaning.

Anyway, doc's only checking if it's my left hip or my pelvis ... or both ... that are cracked. And he's already got the damn X-Rays. So, hopefully, knickers stay on. Opted for the big M & S high waisters. Pristine, as are my, ahem, other bits - no eye-watering scents of tetrachloroethene.

Ahh, dear old Ramsgate in all it's faded glory. Do you know Queen Victoria loved the place. But yes at low tide depending on the wind direction it can get a bit whiffy. Down the road in Margate, by the harbour, now that's a real stomach churner on a bad day, though things might have improved since they built the St Tracy E cathedral (big posh gallery) on the sea front. Lizbott did a feature on Tracy ages ago. Think she sees herself as the writer equivalent, possibly imaging that only her true worth will be appreciated when she's no longer around, you know the poooooor suffering artist type, shunned, derided but ultimately some day to be universally adored
God am in a biatchy mood today

I love Ramsgate and Margate. Childhood hols. And Broadstairs.

Do you think Liz sees herself as a Tracy Emin? Not so much poor suffering artist as profligate regurgitator.

(Liz, that is. I quite like Trace.)

Ah yes, Ade - the anticipation of posthumous fame ... a female Proust, for instance? Obviously so familiar to her (in the original French, one assumes) as she suggested The Baker (or rather, Box Veg Deliverer) should read him. Instead of reading us here on DS [HI, DAVID - WAVING!] Or she fancies herself a Rimbaud or Verlaine? Or the Brönte sisters? Sylvia Plath?

Or ... Barbara Cartland?

Like you am very attached to those places, whole of Thanet, just hope it gets the funding it needs to be gorgeous once more. There's so much great architecture there, I think folk have begun to rediscover that now which is such a good thing good thing.

If you can find the article from you msg you'll see they bonded over cats and other stuff. Trace is too out there for me, what a shock when we saw her work, the self portrait porno/ menstrual stuff. OMG. We took some family to see it...red faces all around !!!

Tried to stick loads stuff on the end of post but ran out of time when door bell went. So it was something like this.

Her exhusband said ages ago that the body of work to be left by Lizbott will be studied and highly valued in the future (OWTTE). At the time he was (I thought) still being fed words that she wanted people to hear and was happily regurgitating on request, bit like a seagulls feeding chicks: here you are, splurge !

With Tracy they both have that massive self absorption thingy going on so they seemed to understand that quality in each other. As well as both applying themselves to produce a large volume of work that has been loudly loved and hated. But obviously Trace has the massive edge being internationally recognised and respected. But I just can't see the quality of her line work that was being raved about. I love life drawings but just couldn't grasp it but then I am uneducated pleb ! To be blunt, looking at some of what we saw felt very much like the whole emperor's new clothes thingy. But hey the woman has given Margate a tremendous boost and am all for that

Defo Sylvia Ami !
But nobody wants that to happen to Lizbott.

Baker turned veg delivered sounds like a good thing, Dave's trying to get himself back together again after the trauma of romancing the cold hearted one. From her own account it does sound like their relationship actually harmed his head and soul, so good for him getting out there trying to feel better about himself

If you've got the time look back at the page quoted earlier. Where did it all go wrong ?
One minute it was 50 shades of knickers off, he was Mr Wonderful and nothing about him could ever be annoying......then somehow down the line it turned into 100 shades of let's get Dave. I don't understand

Except she makes a point of saying he's working for a friend of hers. Which gives her more ammunition against him. So she's still quietly tasering him in the nuts.

Sorry, Ade, being a bit dense today - it's the strong legal painkillers for hip. But what does 'OWTTE' mean, please?

Good news: my hip, pelvis, spine NOT actually cracked. But my left hip is (I delicately paraphrase doc's description) totally f***** and falling to bits, and, an elegant addition, has 'spurs'. Don't know what that means - probably nothing to do with Tottenham ... (I actually live in Arsenal territory).

Didn't even have to display my M & S, high waist, size 16, fragrantly Persil laundered pants ... doc just looked at the X-Ray snaps on his PC.

You're right

OWTTE means : or words to that effect
Hope you can be sorted out nowXx

Sorry about your hip. Spurs sound quite exciting but I suspect they are not. Next time, just flash your drawers anyway. Seems a shame to waste them.