Maybe Liz should have gone into the Lamb Woolly-Pully business instead of the cow pension/OAP chickens thing . As for this week's borderline anorexia -vs- full blown awful Scots dialogue, I can see things getting a weeee bit competitive in this imaginary relationship. As Harry Hill might say, "There's only one way to find out! ..."

I could rewrite the Dreary in proper Glaswegian, but I'm 100% that whoever wrote it, he or she hasn't been within a hundred miles of the city!

Her comment about The Voice where she basically accuses Danny of casual racism is appalling. For anyone who didn't see it, there was a guy on there who could be Will.i.am's brother and Danny told him that he looked like Will. Now, according to Jones, what he was actually saying is 'all black people look the same'. FFS, talk about see something that wasn't there. Will even agreed with him.

She really is a pig ignorant b*tch with her head rammed up her own backside

Can anyone here imagine a RS typing the phrase "You think you have the monopoly on mire"? Can you imagine ANY man typing such a thing? (Of course, this is a RS who begins his messages "Darling girl" and refers to himself as "The Cuckold," so I guess all bets are off as far as unlikely, flowery, old-fashioned maiden-aunt language is concerned...)

I always find it amusing that Liz can never write in another character's voice for very long without reverting to the sort of me-me-me stuff that focuses purely on her: her personality, her qualities, her past, her family background, her relationships, her wants.....how amazing and wonderful (and in this case "superhuman") she is. Even when she's supposed to be recounting someone else's words, they always end up launching into an in-depth analysis of Liz and appraising her in glowing terms, which is always the biggest giveaway....

Maybe the RS likes to link her to kiddie games?

the monopoly on mire
The mousetrap on misery
The Cluedo on crisis
The Scrabble of sarcasm
The Hungry Hippos of hypocrisy

The above column was only from about a month ago. The comment quoted in the BiB makes it clear that the FRS didn't drink. So can we assume she's saying he's gone back to drinking since then?

The way she's gone about putting this into her column seems really odd. A partner falling off the wagon would constitute a major, momentous drama in the real world. And yet Liz, the Queen of filling columns with other people's major, momentous real-world dramas, hasn't actually mentioned this hugely significant event in the Diary, just sort of slithered into a join-the-dots-and-work-it-out scenario, where one week she tells us she had "an alcoholic" staying with her in the Cupboard, and the next she's quoting emails verbatim from the RS talking about his drinking as if this were something she'd already written about. Given the amount of column inches she devotes to horses with ailments and petty squabbles with jellyfish, and the way she relishes spilling deeply personal secrets about other people's alcohol problems, you'd think she would have got acres of mileage out of a partner falling off the wagon. The way she launches straight into this story makes it seem like she's lost track of what she has and hasn't told her readers.

Either way, there's something truly unpleasant about it all, especially following on from last week's sniping column about her alcoholic sister and the jellyfish woman.

Now there's a children's fairytale just waiting to be written!

Or, the monopoly on "Merde!"?* [*Readers of Samantha Brick's recent efforts - especially- will KWIM ]

Merde alors! Sacrebleu! Today's Dreary really scraped the bottom of the barrel. This week's episode was really despicable. The e-mail sounded like something she'd concocted herself.

Looks like the FRS is hitting the bottle again, after being on the wagon for some considerable time. That woman would drive anybody to drink. She's probably decided it's time to write him out of her Dreary. I wonder how she'll fill her columns in future. No doubt it will be about how the locals are really nasty to her and we'll have the usual sick animals and moans about her family - truly dire.

Ha Ha! DM headline " What really goes on in LJ brain|'
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...e-mindset.html
Don't check the link if LJ pics scare you!
Another dig at a sister,but hey LJ is so timid she needs help from the pretendy scientists.

So imagine how I felt when I discovered that it might not be the world's fault for attacking me. That the problem could lie in my own brain and that there is a way to change it.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...#ixzz2PAt1362u
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

I think we all already knew the problem was in your head Liz not our own.

More bull about anorexia with many photo's to prove the lie there.


eta,I am chronic at links sorry.

A guilty but HUGE guffaw @ photo + the caption: 'What's going on in there, Liz?' Though serious observers of British journalism may [understandably] feel like throwing their hands up in the air ...

I didn't notice that caption...ouch.
Seriously scary pic though.

She halfway dragged Jessie J in that article as well. I believe the quote was "her enthusiasm as fake as my orgasms."

This amazes me since she was practically ready to have sex with Jessie a couple months ago because of what Liz described as her bravery for promising to shave her head. Also, Liz agreed to shave her head for charity as well in honor of Jessie J. What ever happened to that?

For a woman 'paralysed by fear' and with 'low self-esteem' she spends a hell of a lot of time primping and posing for the camera.

And those bloody Prada biker boots........again!!

I'd agree with some of the results of that brain scan, i.e. she can't think straight, has no sense of proportion and rational thought is difficult for her. The bit about having a memory like an elephant must be wrong, though, because she's always contradicting things she wrote previously and her Dreary is continually full of inconsistencies.

She didn't need to have a brain scan to tell her what was going on inside her brain. The posters on this thread could have told her the answer - she's all mixed-up.

You would think she was going to a fancy-dress party as a pirate in that picture where she's wearing the sensor-covered cap.

I was gobsmacked in the DM picture of her with the brain scan thing that I thought was an April Fool. The tattoo makes her look a chav.

Does anyone else agree that this phrase speaks volumes about just how low the bar is set in Liz's behaviour:

"In a shop, when an item wasn't in stock, I would normally have flown into a rage, but I didn't."



....This, apparently, is evidence of a major breakthrough. Reminds me of Jeremy Kyle, when he says: "I'm going to say this calmly, I'm not even going to shout at you..." as if staying calm and not shouting is some sort of extraordinary effort that deserves to be drawn attention to, rather than what the rest of the world knows as "normal decent civilized behaviour".

Fly into a rage because an item is out of stock? This is Liz's default setting? And she wonders why she gets such a frosty reception from shop assistants?

I've not been well for a couple of weeks, so decided to cheer myself up by visiting the thread today. Imagine my horror, after clicking on a link about Lizard going for a brain scan, to be met by an image of a gargoyle, sporting a rictus grin, looming from the computer screen! Instant relapse! I quickly scrolled down to get to the comments, only to be bemused that quite a few stated she looked good. What?!! Unbelievable, and her reckoning to have a memory like an elephant, my arse. Then there was Sunday's Dreary; surely a hoax? Like many others, I too thought she was banging on about herself having an alcohol problem, but no - the email was (snort) from her teetotal/alcoholic/fat/thin/Scotsman/maiden aunt/on/off boyfriend. Allegedly. She surpassed even her own dire standards with that load of dung so, to go back to the theme of kiddie games, how about her having the Ker Plunk on Ker Rap?

*Thread lurker emerges*
Hello!
I wish this thread was more active, I always loved reading through it. Feel like I should join in myself if I want other people to. I hope people haven't started to like Liz?!
I am trying to compile a list of Liz lies and contradictions for a blogger friend of mine but it is really depressing. That woman makes me mad.

hello!!! welcome on board!!

I've had to take it easy on Liz Moans as she is proving bad for my health as every time I read anything she has done my blood pressure creeps up

need to lie down now... am thinking of her wrinkly clown face staring at me from the last "what's wrong with my brain" article.

I think her articles with photos should come with one of those graphic image warning tags, some of them are terrifying.

Welcome from me, too, Ceesmith . I think many of the original posters on this thread feel freer to vent on Facebook - whereas, 'yours truly' remains a big old FB/Twitter wimp - despite having been invited very nicely to join up. Also, in recent times [ =days/weeks ] the Daily Mail, generally, has printed such incredibly hateful stuff that the contemplation of continuing to post on this thread [even] is presenting difficulties

I have Facebook but would have no idea how to find other Liz critics.
I know what you mean, I am no fan of that paper but I am addicted to their awful columnists like Liz and Shona.

Hope you're ok, and feel better soon, Coldcomfort

PM me and you too can slag off the Lizard on FB.