A prize to whoever said she'd be after David again. I'm sorry his father died but I see it only took him a couple of days to ask if they were still a couple.

I also see DD is back in the firing line - being criticised for not offering to pay the vet bills for Prudence the cat. Oh, and her taste in curtains!

Also Kings Cross station for apparently not having anywhere to sit.

Very odd.

There is a very strange type of warped logic in her thinking - she doesn't have £5.40 to pay for a full day's parking - so instead of parking further away, on a side street away from the station and walk she decides to park illegally despite the liklihood of a £60 fine. It is easy to see why she has recurring debt problems applying this type of logic....

She also seems obsessed with DD - why doesn't Liz just give Prudence back and save some money?

More loons than usual on the Dreary's comments section this week. One from NZ asks Liz to ''come for a holiday''. Don't you read Madam? Liz hasn't got the cash for a £5.40 parking fee, let alone £500 for a flight to Auckland.

I hope, I really, truly hope that no one did volunteer to go over and pick up the sh*te out of Liz's fields

This week's farticle made my head spin. Vegan who eats eggs and cheese. Never wear red lippy, but don't go without makeup - farmers' wives are ugly! Fairtrade is evil ... even though she made it into the GCSE papers with an article about the importance of buying Fairtrade. Bacon in an English breakfast? Shocker! And I'm surprised she approves of pasta, aren't people like her obsessed with the idea that carbohydrates are the devil's poison?

I am a bit confused here because wasn't the poo picking just last week? Yet the Dreary is usually three weeks behind. Has it caught up? And if so, have Liz and David really not communicated since March, yet he's kind of hopeful that they're still on because she texted him?

TBH I don't blame him for asking about their relationship status, nutty as it may sound to anyone from the outside. Or indeed to Liz, who seems to think that he should have showered her with offers of succour and poo picking after up to two months' silence, instead of checking whether they were over or not. They seem to have been very on-off anyway and if the Dreary is to be believed, their entire relationship is largely carried out in the virtual realm so he could be forgiven for not knowing whether or not they'd broken up. If there's nobody else in his life, dusting off his lightbulb, his mind may well still be tied to Liz on some level.

As for the Farticle, it's vintage, retro Liz isn't it. Squalling viciously and aggressively at strangers in shops for perceived personal slights, open-mouthed shock that the planet does not revolve around her preferences, and a snipe at women who don't sport fashmagslag head to toe beige stucco like she does.

I myself have been sporting a signature red lip for most of my adult life, so, since Liz was about 30. I don't give a shit what a dessicated trollope whose own industry has kicked her to the gutter and beyond years ago thinks of my style choices. Nor should she quite frankly. Walk around looking like a pile of dirt Liz and be happy instead of spending your life desperately chasing after the fashion bus. Was that passive-aggressive enough do you think?

Also I'm wondering why she thinks DD/GF would TEXT her. Why would she have Liz's cellphone number? Would Liz honestly respond well to David sharing her private cellphone number with the dreaded Garnier Fructis? There really is quite a lot of lunacy going on here right now.

So she's still logging into FB as David, in order to stalk poor DominoDarling.
And if this dreary isn't all entirely fictitious, then it's about 4 weeks in arrears (Prince died on 21 April, 4 weeks ago last Thursday).

But how would readers know about the poo? Was there a poo entry four weeks ago too?

I have no idea. This is the diary that was published the week before Prince died.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/...d-darkens.html
This was from the week before.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/...r-choices.html

I've given up trying to make head or tail of her timeline, her incongruous logic, her ridiculous spending combined with her poverty claims, her 'supporter of women' claims alongside rants about them not wearing make-up/wearing too much make-up/the wrong kind of make-up. I honestly think she drinks, it's the only explanation I can see for how disjointed, random and self-pitying her diaries are. Unless the whole Mumsnet allegation was true after all, and her half-a-million-per-annum salary has mostly gone up her nose.

I found what knowledgepower wrote very interesting and can believe it. It sounded as if kp was giving the minimum about how the neighbourhood feels about Liz; if kp isn't a neighbour and was just stirring things up she could have fabricated all sorts of viciousness about Lizzo. Instead I get the impression of holding back from saying more about what Liz has done to offend the locals. II got the impression that kp speaks for other members of the community who feel Jamie misunderstood Nic's supposed friendliness and they are angry that he was manipulated and humiliated.

And yes, why WOULD he spend his time driving around looking for the horses? What is he, the boy from Equus? Driving around looking for Nic might make sense, if he had time and petrol to spare after a long day farming, but that's not what Liz imagines.

The house certainly looked cozier and more attractive before Liz bought it, though covering up her supposedly chi-chi sofas does shout (1) I can't control or train my pets, who chew up and dirty the furniture and (2) I can't afford to replace furniture they've wrecked.. My guess is that Liz had the carpets up after finding that carpets and incontinent dogs don't mix with carpets. It certainly doesn't look like the remaining floorboards have been finished properly, so if pee and poo soaked through the carpet the pee, especially, may have soaked into the floorboards. The smell would put buyers off. But yes, I don't think the taxman would therefore say "Well, this house and the grounds are too stinky to sell, Liz! They're yours!"

I do notice that Liz is doing no forward planning at all, which suggests that this is yet another "poor me" debt crisis she's exaggerated, and / or that she doesn't believe the taxman could be SO MEAN as to take away the home of THE Liz Jones. When the house is sold, where is she going to live? What will the state of her finances be? What is she going to do with the Liz Jones Circus of Old, Sick, and Untrained Animals? She apparently can't think that far ahead.

THANK YOU !!!
At last, a voice from someone who is experiencing the reality of Planet Lizbott.
I feel so sorry for you all being caught up in the games this woman plays to line her pockets.

Now do wonder if we've all been had regarding the "obsessed neighbour".
Well, my posts about that were based on unfortunate experience, but do feel mightily hacked off that Jones has squeezed out sympathy from myself and others.

Today's Sunday Moan which is diarys real title IMHO, was sickening in it's self centred, casually cruel way. The love of your life has sadly just lost their parent.............................sorry to learn that Dave, do hope you are alright mate............................

Brace yourself people for the tsunami of compassion for David More like a dribble. Poor bloke.
This is why I call her the Lizbott, cos where other people's feelings are concerned she's like robot, she don't care unless it's about HER feelings. Take today's titbit about her waiting for, nay, EXPECTING the flood of sympathy she would be receiving from her concerned fans. I said this a few weeks back how she sits there waiting for the response, cashing on the decency of others. And so she rides that wave while snapping at her poor grieving on off boyfriend.

For her whole fed up neighbourhood, I hope the house gets sold asap no matter what shinanigans she pulls to prevent it going ahead.

As I'm rather housebound at the moment (disintegrating left hip, waiting replacement), I've been 'amusing' myself reading the Jones oeuvre, mainly 'The Exmoor Files' and 'The Girl Least Likely'.

It's all a bit odd. In the Exmoor files, the first time she sees the 'Rock Star' again, since she interviewed him years before, was in some pub in Exmoor, when she'd just taken part in some Am Dram production of a play 'The Match Girls' and she was made up as an old crone 'Mrs. P' - actually, the suffragette Mrs. Pankhurst - though Jones didn't realise that's who she was supposed to be until later - I quote: 'It dawns on me later that "Mrs P" refers to Pankhurst'. But oh, the embarrassment of the Rock Star seeing her with old lady makeup in the pub, age lines drawn all over her pansticked face, her grey bun wig falling awry etc. etc. etc.

Yet - low and behold - pretty well EXACTLY the same things happens in the later book 'The Girl Least Likely To'. Only this happens when she's at school, around 18 or so, and as part of her 'A Level' studies they put on a play 'The Matchgirls'. And cast young Jones as Mrs. Pankhurst ... and, yes, she says in the book 'Only writing this now do I realise I was probably playing the Suffragette leader Mrs. Pankhurst'. Then after the last show, some guy 'Charles' she fancies comes into the pub where she's with the rest of the cast and, horrors, sees her still in full makeup, face all old-lady made up and her grey bun wig falls awry ...

Funny, that - almost like ... she makes things up? Surely not! Maybe we should give her the benefit of the doubt - there WERE two 'Match Girls' shows, decades apart, and each time, Jones cast as Mrs. Pankhurst, and each time, some bloke she fancied saw her still in her stage make up, grey bun wig slipping awry ...

Puffin, she has form for starting arguments just get copy so my guess would be that she hoped he'd down the bottle then go look in for Nik. That sounds cynical I know, but this the Lizbott we're talking about and am firmly convinced she will go to extremes just to get what she wants. It's very unpleasant stuff. Feel contaminated just talking about it

If Nic was good friends with the farmer then it's very possible that she was the one who saw the calves then told Lizbott about them.

I've started to feel angry about how she USED the "obsessed" neighbour. Up to this point we've gotten Liz's version of things, but I'm much more inclined to trust knowledgepower. That means Liz had Nic spend time with him so that Liz could gain certain benefits. (What the hell is Nic's job title? Equine Therapist and Tempting Decoy Tart? Is Nic THAT desperate to work for a woman who is "losing everything" and will not be able to pay her anymore?)

For personal reasons I too had a sort of knee-jerk sympathy for Nic as victim-of-stalker but am now thinking how easy it is for absolutely anyone who is looking for romance to misread signals and make an unwelcome pass, and how humiliating that can be. But it just got worse for him. I can't be bothered to go back to the articles Liz wrote about The Jamie Incident, but I'm wondering exactly what percentage of what the Mail published about him and the court case is factual. (Remember the horror she felt when someone shot at her, oh no I mean her mailbox, which was well away from the house and which in any case happened when she was abroad?) Certainly she seemed to try to make the whole Jamie thing about herself, not Nic.

At any rate, doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results is insanity, right? So, not content with stirring up huge hostility in Dulverton, which is nowhere near her workplace, she moves to Yorkshire and does the same damn thing. But it gets worse. She went to Dulverton for her horses, and had land for them there. In Yorkshire she doesn't even have land for the horses. Couldn't she have gotten a smaller cottage with some land for the horses much, much closer to London? Since no one with a cranium would visit Liz, she hardly needs a whack of bedrooms: one would be plenty.

Shes only needs a single bed too, they're not exactly lining up to share hers. I wonder why Who wouldn't love a tumble with an insulting, almost bankrupt who gleefully mocks you in print for your bowel habits and begrudges you your council flat. What a catch, cant figure out why she's still single.

One coffee cup, one wineglass, no plates (she's anorexic and doesn't actually eat), no sink, no washer (does she own anything that could be cleaned in a washer? She probably has cashmere towels), one extra-large seaman's trunk for all of her beauty products, zero mirrors because if she had one she'd realize that the beauty products aren't working . . .

GO FOR IT

Am impressed at your previous scratch card detective work.
BLINDING !

Agreed, we all need to stay sensible and boring
Was a grand idea though.

Just maybe someone could don their under cover reporter hat for the day and do a scoop ?????????????????
Sort of along the lines of the long gone News Of The World.

Back along when she had a spate of listing what the dogs had wrecked, I thought, hello, that's no OCD house otherwise all wrecked gear would have been tidied out of the way. So decided then the OCD was more of the imaginary kind. Anyone with puppies figures out straight away what to do if you want to keep your possessions.

I think her "OCD" is just her insisting that things are done her way. It's a good tactic to gain power over any visitors, fiances, or those daft enough to buy her the wrong presents. Just like her "veganism" gains power over anyone cooking for her, or buying her a meal.

I wondered if David asked Lizbott what their couple status was in case people at his dad's funeral ask him. (For all I know it could have been and gone by now)

Good point

Did anyone seriously believe that things would work out any differently for Liz and her neighbours in Reeth than they did when she moved to Dulverton ?

And exactly the same will happen wherever she moves next and will continue to do so until such time as she comes to the stark realisation that she's responsible for making her own weather. As the saying goes: 'Seek not to change the world, seek to change your mind about the world'.

As Liz is incapable of learning from experience, I think she's never going to realize anything about how she contributes to the continuing catastrophe of her life. She tends to have an occasional "epiphany" in which she realizes the source of her problems, buried deep down in her past: sometimes it's little boys cornering her in the infants' school toilet, or learning that the pearls her father gave her are really fakes, and sometimes it's some trauma she's made up just for the moment . . . it's always someone else's fault, the big meanies.

So I fear that chances are very good that in 25 years Liz will be telling us that she's about to have her house auctioned, that she's got a hot romance with some man who doesn't exist or has entirely alienated, and that we must love her because she has lots of badly behaved animals. (I'd love her more if she had well behaved animals.) She'll be telling us that she's a vegan unless a scrambled egg or some buttery leather occurs in her vicinity, and that she is invariably generous and kind to a bunch of ingrate lowlifes who don't appreciate her. And by that time she will be living in the Arctic Circle so that she has room for her horses, rescue elk, and cats. Though travel may be extremely speedy by that time, it won't be for Liz, and she'll still be commuting to London in Nic's dogsled.

It takes a certain level of stupidity to be so oblivious to how she fouls her own nest.