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Liz Jones - YOU magazine (Part 4)
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BellaFiga
10-06-2016
It is very fortunate that LJ did not get pregnant with the purloined spunk. Given that her dogs are so poorly trained they will attack furniture and cats, a baby would not have been remotely safe in her house.
Althea_Dropp
12-06-2016
I can't imagine her being able to bear changing a nappy, and potty training her child would have been utterly impossible . . . a dog is much easier to train than a child and can be trained at an earlier age, but she hasn't managed to have the dogs house trained. Also if (as she claims) picking a cat up is an outrageous infringement on the cat's liberty and selfhood, wouldn't that be true of a child? She'd have one of those children who is completely unable to mix with others and who can't use a loo by school age.

And if she thinks maternity leave is some kind of vacation she's seriously misinformed.
Ade_Lw
12-06-2016
Originally Posted by amikolaichek:
“Ade, I am a very old lady and not without, ahem, experience ... but what does 'being sired sideways' MEAN? My imagination going all over-active ...”

Let's see, just think of the Sam lady from Sex & the City, and the way she was let's say "adventurous with her make partners" I hope thats painted the plcture for you
Yve_Hamilton_Br
12-06-2016
I couldn't face either of her pieces last night, so went to bed instead. I was also unfaithful to my cats as I slept with next door's big boy who is definitely a bit poorly and is limping and sitting awkwardly. Good job they are back from hols today.
We could discuss the weather - it's chucking it down here but at least the woman up the road's cat has eaten his breakfast and not thrown it back - yet!

I finally started on my own 14 morning pills and looked at the Lizbot's offerings. First one al about how she adored football - ?? Don't think I've ever heard that before and frankly don't want to again. Neither am I interested in why she wastes money she hasn't got on buying Vogue. Move on.

In the Diary, as predicted, David makes a brief return and offers to do up his flat and share it with her. My first question: where are the dogs and cats going to go, not to mention Nic and her two horses plus Liz's two ponies? Then she has some sort of magical facelift and is told she stores her stress in her chin. Maye that's why it is so pointed? If so, what on earth does she keep in her nose?

She stays in the face lifter's flat and invites David round - how bluddy rude, if she hadn't asked the man's permission first. Anyway, now she's deciding whether or not to accept this offer (which sounds very refusable to me) I can only assume David has lost what marbles he had, as a small space shared between Liz, fag smoke, David and his grotty clothes sounds as attractive as herpes.

I am now quite looking forward to vacuuming and ironing - oh so much more interesting!
Bellagio
12-06-2016
In today's farticle: "I was on holiday in Jamaica...".

Liar, liar, thong on fire !
ianradioian
12-06-2016
It really is absolute kack. I mean; really...
Rubbish Name
12-06-2016
Stores stress in her chin haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I nearly died laughing! At last, the famous sense of humour she tells us about rears its ugly head!

So. David has:
- asked after her after the death of her dog;
- taken her out for dinner and paid;
- offered to make over his flat and tidy the garden;
- had a haircut before meeting up with her.
These are all signs he's really listened to her complaints and has tried to fix them (the 'why??' of this is another matter). So what does she do? Sleeps in the spare room and doesn't even talk to the man.

If he comes back yet again after this, he's an utter twit-with-an-a.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/...-proposal.html
Tanzie
12-06-2016
Originally Posted by Rubbish Name:
“Stores stress in her chin haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I nearly died laughing! At last, the famous sense of humour she tells us about rears its ugly head!

So. David has:
- asked after her after the death of her dog;
- taken her out for dinner and paid;
- offered to make over his flat and tidy the garden;
- had a haircut before meeting up with her.
These are all signs he's really listened to her complaints and has tried to fix them (the 'why??' of this is another matter). So what does she do? Sleeps in the spare room and doesn't even talk to the man.

If he comes back yet again after this, he's an utter twit-with-an-a.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/...-proposal.html”



I'm probably being a bit thick, but why does she say that she needs to think about moving in with him? Aren't they supposed to be getting married at some point? Doesn't being married normally mean that you want to live with your spouse?

Is their relationship actually real, or is it some kind of weird fauxmance, with the part of the imaginary rock star being played by the baker?
lomo123
12-06-2016
If you were really skint, as she claims, you would grab the chance at getting offered a place to stay.
She,s always going places, so it would only be a place to crash.
Yve_Hamilton_Br
12-06-2016
Yes - but where are all the animals going to live?

Also, she's not going to get much in the way of benefits or anything if someone is giving her free accommodation, is she?
lomo123
12-06-2016
Benefits? Thought she was employed.
As for the animals, well something's got to give I would have imagined.
mourinhosmissus
12-06-2016
So in the world of Liz the football fanatic, any man who doesn't share her passion for the beautiful game is either gay or transgender.

Okaaaaaay.
Yve_Hamilton_Br
12-06-2016
Question:

If you have an IVA (as Liz does), you can still work and pay off your debts as agreed. However, what happens if you go bankrupt? Can you really continue to work and earn in the region of 250K?

I don't know the conditions of bankruptcy except for little bits I've heard, but you can't have credit cards, you can only have a very basic bank account (which advertises the fact)
and there must be other conditions too. I am sure she thinks that all her debts will be magicked away by the bankruptcy fairies and she can carry on regardless.

All sounds a bit odd to me.
Ade_Lw
13-06-2016
Originally Posted by Porcupine:
“The last couple of weeks of diaries ... one thing has stuck out for me. I think its because I have recently lost a beloved dog myself. I find it odd that she would bury him in the garden of a house she is about to leave. I would have thought she would want to either take him with her or scatter the ashes. It seems odd to bury a beloved pet in the gardens of a house she might walk away from in months.”

So sorry for your loss mate.
It's a good point you make
Ade_Lw
13-06-2016
Originally Posted by Yve_Hamilton_Br:
“Yes - but where are all the animals going to live?

Also, she's not going to get much in the way of benefits or anything if someone is giving her free accommodation, is she?”

As she's still earning then she won't need assistance fro the state to pay for somewhere e modest to live in.

No way could Lizbot survive on what some peeps have to through job loss or illness, believe me if she had to live on my budget the shock would kill her
Last edited by Ade_Lw : 13-06-2016 at 12:12
vampyre
13-06-2016
Originally Posted by Ade_Lw:
“As she's still earning then she won't need assistance fro the state to pay for something moist to live in.

No way could Lizbot survive on what some peeps have to through job loss or illness, believe me if she had to live on my budget the shock would kill her ”

It appears it wouldn't, she just runs up bills and then announces she has no money to pay them. I knew someone like this, including the non payment of taxes and it was hell on earth to deal with them and they never changed. I've a feeling she might be the same.
Yve_Hamilton_Br
13-06-2016
Interesting!

http://www.stepchange.org/Portals/0/...April_2016.pdf

Not as simple as you think, either an IVA or bankruptcy.
vampyre
13-06-2016
Originally Posted by Yve_Hamilton_Br:
“Interesting!

http://www.stepchange.org/Portals/0/...April_2016.pdf

Not as simple as you think, either an IVA or bankruptcy.”

I didn't read the leaflet, just glanced at it but my word, all the gentlemen seem very happy in the photos. Hooray I'm bankrupt!
The woman on the bench looked like an illustration of miserable junkie though.
Suburbanqueen
14-06-2016
.....who was coughing up blood - so inconvenient when the horses needed something or other done to them?

she drops that in - poor cow (Nic I mean not miz Liz) sounded like she was on her death bed - then no further word..
lomo123
15-06-2016
Yeah I was thinking that as well, no mention of Nics illness.
Has there been any mention if the Yorkshire house has been sold?.
amikolaichek
15-06-2016
Originally Posted by lomo123:
“Yeah I was thinking that as well, no mention of Nics illness.
Has there been any mention if the Yorkshire house has been sold?.”

No, it's still up for grabs. Owner wants a quick sale.
puffin1962
15-06-2016
Originally Posted by amikolaichek:
“No, it's still up for grabs. Owner wants a quick sale.”

Can she be forced to send this house to auction if no-one agrees to the (inflated) price?

One thing I don't understand is that Liz has made a big fuss in her columns over land for her horses - yet according to the property details the house comes with 2.8 acres of land that includes 2 paddocks. So why did she need to rent fields for the horses?
Suburbanqueen
16-06-2016
Originally Posted by puffin1962:
“Can she be forced to send this house to auction if no-one agrees to the (inflated) price?

One thing I don't understand is that Liz has made a big fuss in her columns over land for her horses - yet according to the property details the house comes with 2.8 acres of land that includes 2 paddocks. So why did she need to rent fields for the horses?”

After all, her horse have to have the very best.
Yve_Hamilton_Br
16-06-2016
If it is the Bank forcing the sale, they only want to realise as much as they can get to hopefully clear the debt to them - drat everyone else! Theoretically Liz could end up still in debt or with nothing.
Polomini
17-06-2016
2.8 acres would only provide grazing for two horses - you need at least an acre per horse per year - as paddocks can quickly become over-grazed and useless if you try to keep more horses than that, especially in wet weather, when the land becomes poached and muddy. Between Liz and Nic, they have more than two, I believe, so they'd need extra to rotate the grazing, even if they were feeding supplementary hay or haylage.
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