In that case, please accept my apologies.

She does (allegedly) have previous form for posting on other social media to draw attention to her column and keep herself relevant. That time, a few years ago, when the fake rock star story was losing momentum was one such occasion.

[quote=amikolaichek;83114123]
How is it odd? Everybody knows the Drearies are written several weeks before publication, and an "altercation" between DD and LJ was hardly likely NOT to make it to print in some form. If I recall correctly Liz pretty much said she was going to write about it, didn't she? The woman would write about her own farts if they had dramatic potential, and the Dreary is almost entirely dedicated to the Gruesome Twosome and their codependent romance, with DD set up as some kind of antagonist.

If the romance of the century was following strictest old school romance novel protocol, DD would be the fiery wild-haired beauty who Liz feared the Baker still loved, and who seemed to want to break them up at every turn due to her steaming jealousy at Liz's virginal appeal and hold on the Baker's heart.

Oh wait, that actually is what's happening according to the Dreary.

My heartfelt and genuine apologies, Dominodarling. I quite understand your wishing to get in first. Must be quite horrid reading the nasty stuff she writes about you.

By the way, I meant what I said in an earlier post yesterday - having seen your FB page you are an extremely beautiful lady and whatever your shampoo, your hair is gorgeous. Scrace certainly went way down-market when he took up with Jones!

Any sign that you may get your cat Prudence back? If Jones is having to move, one assumes she'll have to rehome her cats (and frankly I don't believe her claim that she has 'seventeen' of them, plus your cat). Hope Prudence comes back to you.

Now that the DM has finally got around to updating the You Mag section - I am struck by what a busy bee our Liz has been this week. Having a go at Mrs Murray's fashion sense in one article, another where she nixes the rest of womankind whilst confusing Obama / Osama and running out of words entirely at the end, the Dreary and now a piece with Jamie Oliver. In which she is on a mission to 'alter her DNA'. I am sure there are a lot of criminals out there who wish this was possible too. Jamie seems to have got off fairly lightly, given her normal predilection for labelling dyslexics, especially rich ones, as 'thick' and there is only (for her anyway) the slightest of snide references to him having too many children. I hope the DM are paying her overtime for these extra efforts - then Nic might get her council tax paid.

What is it ?

It says 'if you can't be positive, at least be quiet'
She's also deleted most of her posts (or hidden them)...

Liz is no competition as Nicola looks an attractive woman. Jealous old Liz maybe?

https://www.facebook.com/nicola.bebb142

Porcupine: "If you cannot be positive, then at least be quiet."

Hi Dominodarling. So sorry if anything on here from me has upset you...
It's hard to know what's true with Lizbott and her multifaceted realities. Must be hard for you being her target, but you know its all just about her jealousy, you are dealing with the Queen of Green Eyed Monsters here. The whole thing is horribly unfair.
Have you considered going down the 'kiss and tell' THREAT ROUTE as a method for shutting her down about you ? It's just an idea. But that might be too much like making a deal with the devil.
The whole shampoo thing sounds like a Liz invention, think about it, the initials GF also stand for Girl Friend so she thinks it works as a neat little snotty put down.

I would strongly advise against it! Don't poke a dragon with a stick. Don't communicate with her at all, it doesn't matter what you do she will make up whatever she wants and print it to try and make you look awful. Maintain your silence and dignity, and know that about 80% of the people who read her drunken nonsense don't believe a word she says.
And the other 20% - well they're DM readers

80% don't believe her rants and 20% are DM readers. Where did the 80% see her writings?

With such incisive subeditorly observation we now have proof that splodgesmum can't possibly be Liz,

If I may speak for someone else: of 100 per cent of those who read LJ's columns, all of whom are technically "DM readers", the 20 per cent of the readership that believes what she writes are the type of person who reads the Mail completely at face value and treats it as a normal newspaper. Everyone else reads it because it's so bad it's good.

Personally I'd say it's more complex than that - I believe about 80 percent of what Liz writes, but I don't trust her observations. So when she says she's near-bankrupt, I believe that. When she says Person A said or did something I doubt it's accurate, or if it is it's been decontextualised to such a degree that it can't be taken at face value.

Presumably you've heard of the internet?

You don't have to read an actual paper copy of the DM, you can - shock! horror! - read it ONLINE!

#facepalm

I'm sure Liz's writing can't always have been this bad. I'm astonished the MoS keeps her on, especially when she is such a bitch to everyone. The MoS legal team must have the sweats about being sued. There are so many bloggers out there who are miles better. "Peter and Jane" on FB for example.

Agree, Suzy_Cat - I read the Wail and Wail on Sunday because, as you so succinctly point out, it's so bad it's good! Their fascination with the Kardashians ... and any Z- lister in a bikini. And their limited vocabulary - 'stunning', 'curvy', 'sweet', 'revealing', 'charming' etc. etc. ad nauseam. Their 'sidebar of shame' seems mainly to consist of 'curvy' backsides in thongs. Maybe someone on the picture desk has a bit of an, um - fetish for 'curvy' bums?

As for Jones's 'Diary' and her 'Farticles', I can only think of two reasons why the 'Fail' group keeps her on: first, that she knows where some 'bodies are buried' and they daren't do the merciful thing and let her go. Or ... she is such wonderful click-bait for the likes of us, to see how more dire and incoherent her ramblings become week after week.

Personally, given that a previous post showing some statement that she gave to creditors that everything she wrote is 'fiction', I think that a LOT of what she writes is sheer rubbish (perhaps after a few too many mugs of Prosecco) , especially when it comes to totally unbelievable stuff abut the waiter chasing her out of the restaurant because she 'didn't talk to him' or something ... oh please! I do believe she's in dire financial straits in that she's subject to an IVA (it's on record). And that she has to sell her house. As for The Baker, I am coming more and more of the opinion that that's a sort of Faustian pact between the two of them ... I mean, how would ANY man put up with her horrible comments about him, his ex girlfriend/wife? And come back for more?

It is about 30 miles from her house to Darlington, so to get a cab to come out to the middle of nowhere to pick her up at silly o'clock would easily cost more than £100 return.

Lizbott, luv, you're just just not cut out for the Tantra stuff. To start with you need to have a deep and loving respect for not only the Divine, but yourself AND YOUR PARTNER.
Don't sound much like you now does it ? Dave you're barking up the wrong tree here....
Or, just maybe, there's some old hippy magic in those hands that could finally tame the nasty shrew.

It always amazes me that Liz, who frequently paints herself as still practically a virgin because no boys have ever liked her, and certainly insinuates that she's only ever had sex with Kevin the Osama Bin Laden Lookalike, her ex husband, the Rock Star, the Baker and maybe one other, will on alternating weeks announce that hers has been a glittering life of assignations with famous hotties while swanning round on the Riviera.

This article makes me sigh because she seems to think, on realising that "men" don't care whether she's waxed to the earlobes and sporting false lashes, that this is a BAD thing. And proceeds to engage in passive aggressive nastiness to the long suffering Baker, who is doing his best nonetheless to "please" her. (I really hate that whole spiel by the way. Why does he have to "please" her? She does nothing to please him - she does things she thinks SHOULD please him which is entirely a different matter. Also, if you're going to marry someone you need to be able to deal with them as a person, not a god to be feared and propitiated.

It's also incredibly boring.

I, for one, can't wait for the dreary that details the 24 hr tantric sexathon

24 hours of sex sounds ludicrous if not mind-numbing. Do you go for snacks and a wee still connected?

Speaking of her columns being 'fictitious', have you seen the other piece in today's rag?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/ar...e-reality.html

Once you get through the offensive 9/11 "gag", there's a bit at the end which has me baffled. Somebody helped her change a flat tyre and she was grateful. Grateful!
*keels over in a dead faint*

So grateful in fact that she offered him cash. Isn't she supposed to account for every pound under the terms of her IVA? And she was taking David out to a Michelin-starred pub for his birthday. It must be one of those Kerry-Katona-style IVAs.

Ah yes, the sort of IVA that allows for holidays in the sun where one can lay down pissed on the tarmac.

BellaFiga, STOP IT! You have made me laugh so much that thank God there's a bathroom next to my study! Now I can't get it out of my brain, Liz and The Baker, still, er, 'connected', shuffling off a deux, as it were, to the 'Abigail Alherne'* (or whatever) designer 'fridge for a little snack of organic courgette sticks or a half tomato each. As for the other basic necessity you mention, I'm still trying to figure the ins and outs of how that particular feat of intimate engineering could be done whilst still 'engaged' in Tantric bliss ...

*Abigail Alherne just down the road from me in Islington. I don't think they actually sell 'fridges. I often shuffle past it (on crutches) and look out for Liz!

Ade_Lw, being an ancient lady, Tantric sex is a complete mystery to me. In my youth (1950s) - reading 'Forever Amber' disguised with a plain brown paper cover in school and later - Dr. Comfort's 'The Joy of Sex' was just about as much education in 'bedroom matters' that we got.

Still, one is never too old to learn. I am intrigued by your last comment about 'old hippy magic in those hands ...' SO ... in Tantric sex, it's the HANDS that, um, do it. Not ... oh, never mind. Still, I am not so out of touch that I haven't heard of stuff like Viagra and Cialis - but perhaps these are not approved of by Tantric aficionados? I therefore assume that before the marathon Tantric session, Jones insisted that The Baker spent a few hours sporting her 'Bliss Softening Gloves'.