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Liz Jones - YOU magazine (Part 4) |
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#5351 |
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 1,289
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I thought it was just a lot of staring at each other and breathing in and out whilst not moving the vital organs very much. Sounds like a recipe for either cramp, or the giggles, or both.
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#5352 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Islington, London
Posts: 460
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Quote:
I thought it was just a lot of staring at each other and breathing in and out whilst not moving the vital organs very much. Sounds like a recipe for either cramp, or the giggles, or both.
Whatever happened to the good old 'Missionary Position', five minutes (max), done and dusted, and then a nice cup of tea and maybe an order to local takeaway to deliver a beef vindaloo or a lamb rogan gosh (all organic, vegan, line-caught, of course) ? |
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#5353 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 1,289
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Whatever happened to the good old 'Missionary Position', five minutes (max), done and dusted, and then a nice cup of tea and maybe an order to local takeaway to deliver a beef vindaloo or a lamb rogan gosh (all organic, vegan, line-caught, of course) ?
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#5354 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 791
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It always amazes me that Liz, who frequently paints herself as still practically a virgin because no boys have ever liked her, and certainly insinuates that she's only ever had sex with Kevin the Osama Bin Laden Lookalike, her ex husband, the Rock Star, the Baker and maybe one other, will on alternating weeks announce that hers has been a glittering life of assignations with famous hotties while swanning round on the Riviera.
This article makes me sigh because she seems to think, on realising that "men" don't care whether she's waxed to the earlobes and sporting false lashes, that this is a BAD thing. And proceeds to engage in passive aggressive nastiness to the long suffering Baker, who is doing his best nonetheless to "please" her. (I really hate that whole spiel by the way. Why does he have to "please" her? She does nothing to please him - she does things she thinks SHOULD please him which is entirely a different matter. Also, if you're going to marry someone you need to be able to deal with them as a person, not a god to be feared and propitiated. It's also incredibly boring. Sting has got alot to answer for, he's been on about his sex life for years and some how has given off this idea that TantrIc can sex is all about being shoe horned together for hours at a time like some kind of human crab creature wriggling about in a side ways fashion to get to the fags, food and other necessaries. Sounds like torture ! An ordeal for everyone involved - especially the take away delivery guy who will never knock on your door again out of pure fear, having had to almost poke his eyes out after the last time !!!! (just for you Amikolaichek !!!) |
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#5355 |
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 457
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Is she heading for bankruptcy, as she has previously said, or still in an IVA?
Her house went on Rightmove at the end of February. It's now late July. How long is someone who's in the process of going bankrupt allowed to market the property before it goes to auction? |
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#5356 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Islington, London
Posts: 460
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I couldn't agree more. There's nothing worse than being flipped all over the place like a bloody pancake.
I am trying to steel myself to Google 'Tantric Sex' ... I might be ancient, but always happy to learn something new. |
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#5357 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 12
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Hey Lizzyros
Believe it or not I do know about the Internet. Does it matter if you read a paper version or on line, you are still a DM reader. I have to say that there seems to be an awful lot of Liz clones on this thread. |
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#5358 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Islington, London
Posts: 460
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Quote:
You always get this contradictory idea that she's prim, up tight and ultra fussy, yet gets down to business as fast as a whippet even when she doesn't actually like the bloke. Odd. Very odd.
Sting has got alot to answer for, he's been on about his sex life for years and some how has given off this idea that TantrIc can sex is all about being shoe horned together for hours at a time like some kind of human crab creature wriggling about in a side ways fashion to get to the fags, food and other necessaries. Sounds like torture ! An ordeal for everyone involved - especially the take away delivery guy who will never knock on your door again out of pure fear, having had to almost poke his eyes out after the last time !!!! (just for you Amikolaichek !!!) I really can't get my head round visualising some poor delivery guy (with a vegan, organic, line caught takeaway) at the door, answered by Jones/Baker ... sort of ... glued together. (By the way, never liked 'Sting'). Beforehand, do they shuffle down, still connected, to put the plates in the oven to warm? And get out the knives and forks (designer knives and forks, of course)? Still trying to be brave enough to Google 'Tantric Sex'. |
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#5359 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 791
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Quote:
Hey Lizzyros
Believe it or not I do know about the Internet. Does it matter if you read a paper version or on line, you are still a DM reader. I have to say that there seems to be an awful lot of Liz clones on this thread. |
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#5360 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Islington, London
Posts: 460
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Quote:
Is she heading for bankruptcy, as she has previously said, or still in an IVA?
Her house went on Rightmove at the end of February. It's now late July. How long is someone who's in the process of going bankrupt allowed to market the property before it goes to auction? For five years, if you are subject to a IVA, you will have your finances scrutinised closely. |
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#5361 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 791
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Thanks,Ade_Lw. I've often had a takeaway delivery of some Chinese/Thai/Indian nosh from local Islington restaurants - and always very nice too.
I really can't get my head round visualising some poor delivery guy (with a vegan, organic, line caught takeaway) at the door, answered by Jones/Baker ... sort of ... glued together. (By the way, never liked 'Sting'). Beforehand, do they shuffle down, still connected, to put the plates in the oven to warm? And get out the knives and forks (designer knives and forks, of course)? Still trying to be brave enough to Google 'Tantric Sex'. |
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#5362 |
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 147
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She could always keep a large bucket of cold water that the delivery boy can chuck over them if they are stuck - you know, like you do with dogs when they get stuck!
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#5363 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 791
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Quote:
She could always keep a large bucket of cold water that the delivery boy can chuck over them if they are stuck - you know, like you do with dogs when they get stuck!
![]() ![]() am helplessIt must be the heat, like an oven down here....... It's the thought of them sidling up to the front door like siamese twins, desperate for the food having been at for the full 24, unable to disconnect and too famished to care. Thanks Lizbott, best laugh have had in ages. My baby sat dog has just been picked up luckily other wise he'd be back running around panicked at me howling with laughter (also fuelled by the distinct aroma of a neighbour with a take away curry). |
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#5364 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 457
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It's an IVA, CyanideCindy. See https://www.insolvencydirect.bis.gov...127&CaseType=I
For five years, if you are subject to a IVA, you will have your finances scrutinised closely. I don't post on here nearly as much as I used to - I'm all Lizbotted-out. I was just curious as to why the taxman has not yet forced a sale on her house. |
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#5365 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 593
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Quote:
Hey Lizzyros
Believe it or not I do know about the Internet. Does it matter if you read a paper version or on line, you are still a DM reader. I have to say that there seems to be an awful lot of Liz clones on this thread. Why are posters on here Liz ''clones'' when we disagree with her? I think your meds seem to have worn off.
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#5366 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 102
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Too funny u guys. Still laughing at the tantric haverings.
Is this for real, or a total p take.?! I take it the country pile is still on the market since it,s not been mentioned, and what of Nic, are they still on the outs?. |
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#5367 |
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Inactive Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 129
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I think your meds seem to have worn off. ![]()
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#5368 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 12
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Liz writes a load of rubbish and can be quite vile at times. All I have been trying to say is that there are a lot of nasty comments which makes contributors as bad as her. Yes I do take meds, cancer needs them. No I don't drink and no I am not Liz.
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#5369 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 505
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I have a heart condition. If you hit me, it's murder.
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#5370 |
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Inactive Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 129
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I have a heart condition. If you hit me, it's murder.
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#5371 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,869
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I have to say I find today's farticle disturbing.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/ar...-wine-day.html I think as a thread with mainly mature thoughtful posters,we have most of us had some experience of alcohol dependency from one side of the coin or the other,so maybe not the place to get into that whole debate .I did, however find a couple of lines rather true. The bottle is my only friend . Without it, life is impossible. I hope this is just attention seeking carp,along the lines of the "profoundly deaf since childhood" If there is a genuine problem,then as people have said before,where is the duty of care from the MoS? Have a feeling I am falling for the **** though. |
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#5372 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 1,289
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If it's true, it explains a lot of the bilge she's written in the last couple of years.
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#5373 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: SW Surrey
Posts: 2,328
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Remember what she said to the IVA people: what she writes in her articles is fiction and does not reflect her actual lifestyle.
Of course, that itself could be a lie... |
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#5374 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,869
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Maybe the only way to get away with the wine expenditure to the IVA bods is to claim addiction.Who knows.
She does seem to visit the recycling place a lot for a single person on a perma fast. |
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#5375 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: SW Surrey
Posts: 2,328
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Oh, and the Dreary ? If that's the worst row they've ever had (and it's not, of course) then she's nothing to complain about.
Wait... |
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