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Liz Jones - YOU magazine (Part 4) |
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#5476 |
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Join Date: Mar 2015
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I think the Princess of Penury was looking at rented flats. Having said that, a studio flat in the Soho area is £400-ish a week, plus bills. A sensible person would look at somewhere in a post code which doesn't carry a premium because of its location.
Rented Soho flats here seem to range from £275 a week to an eye watering £9,000. This looks like Lizzie's style, but £675 a week's a lot to find when you're 'broke'. ![]() This one might suit. Above a fabric shop so she can save cash by perhaps making her own clothes and next to an artisan sourdough bread shop when she wants a 'vegan' sarnie. http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-...-60802805.html |
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#5477 |
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Join Date: Mar 2014
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She could get a place in Camden for under 200 pound a week if she played her cards right.
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#5478 |
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Islington, London
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I have a spare bedroom. Pretty small - cheap 'n cheerful single bed, plus a fold up bed for when The Baker comes to visit Jones.... Room was used by visiting grandbrats when they were small - I did always use a 'mattress protector' in case of little 'accidents' before the kids were properly house-trained, but am wondering if the polyester/cotton sheets and the Argos duvet would meet with Jones's approval?
Bathroom right next door to the bedroom, with supplies of Garnier Fructis shampoo and, as Jones is obviously very into lovely smelling toiletries, I'd get in a supply of Lifebuoy soap, with its invigorating carbolic scent. There's a dry cleaning shop up the road, so Jones's two pairs of Myla or Marc Jacobs or whatever knickers could be dealt with. And a greengrocers, so she could purchase her veggie stuff (though I don't think they sell tomatoes in halves). And I have Wi-Fi. I don't, alas, in my teensy town garden, have room for the horses, seventeen cats and the two or is it three surviving dogs (lost count)? But being such an animal lover, even if she's had to give up her collection of pets, Jones will surely take comfort and appreciate the squadrons of moths sharing my home. My moths DO enjoy noshing on buttery soft garments, though I'm not sure that they'd be attracted to the Myla/Marc Jacobs knickers ... impregnated with years of Tetrachloroethylene fluid might be a bit much even for the most robust mothly digestion. But I bet Jones wouldn't mind the moths eating her clothes, since she even wears a mask to avoid inhaling insects and won't vacuum clean up flies on the floor, if there's a chance they're still alive. So - I'd have to get rid of all the hanging moth-killing things I've got around the place, and ditch the aerosol sprays, and (now apparently illegal - thanks, EU regulations) my fast diminishing supply of mothballs. But best of all, my Islington gaff is almost within spitting distance of Gibson Square where Jones used to live, before she upped sticks and went off to torment ... sorry, grace, Exmoor and later, Yorkshire. So if she moves into my spare room, she could take lovely nostalgic walks to look at her old house ... and on the way, pass SpaceNK and Abigail Ahern in Upper Street and pop in for a few essential purchases. Now - just got to decide what rent to charge her ... |
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#5479 |
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She could get a place in Camden for under 200 pound a week if she played her cards right.
![]() Where will she put the menagerie if she moves back to London? |
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#5480 |
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Join Date: May 2016
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Anybody buying any of today's Dreary? Since when did the scriptwriter hire everybody else involved on a movie? I can't decide from the writing whether the 2 psychics are the producer and 'director of publicity', whatever that is, or were just 2 additional guests literally along for the free theatre night. And since when did hundreds of screaming fans line the road outside a theatre stage door? Anyway, a nice weekend in the West End, Hospital Club (had to look it up, a private members club for 'creatives' like wot Liz is) and the Ivy Cafe for avocado on a muffin - another interesting vegan option, especially since their menu indicates it comes with 2 hens eggs. Not exactly the salt mines is it. But I presume the early reference to all this being 'work' is for the benefit of the IVA administrator.
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#5481 |
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Join Date: Feb 2015
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And what about her other 'piece' today?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...bun-baker.html The bitterness is strong today. Waaaaah, nobody invited MEEEE on Desert Island Discs (conveniently forgetting that she's "profoundly" deaf). If this is now the quality of her so-called writing then I don't think the novel or the screenplay are going to bail her out of her financial hole. |
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#5482 |
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Join Date: Mar 2014
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What the hell did Nadiya Hussain ever do to Liz? That piece is just flat out insane. You're right, Rubbish Name, it's all about someone getting attention that she's not getting. The fact that the woman bakes things is ... interesting.
As for her whining because *nobody gave her an arranged marriage* so she could "holiday" for ten years at home with the kids... perhaps Liz would like a clitoridectomy while she's at it. FFS it's such an insult to all the women everywhere who have NEVER had choices. I think this is actually the first time I have ever wanted to slap Liz Jones. |
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#5483 |
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Islington, London
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This week's Dreary surely HAS to be a complete p*ss-take! Jones turns up to meet a 'movie star', to hand over her script. Oh, and she also brings along two psychics. And were Jones's 'producer', 'casting director' and 'director of publicity' there too? I've read the Dreary three times now and am still totally confused - oh, OK, yes, the putative 'producer' was there because the 'famous movie star' whispered to her that she couldn't wait to read Jones's script. Hmm, really?
Far be it for me to claim to be an expert on movie-making, but I thought that once a script is accepted, then the film company do all the stuff about sorting producers, directors, casting and publicity people ... along with many, many re-writes of the script. Frankly, IF any of Jones's stuff is true, the 'famous movie star' must have been nonplussed, to put it mildly. Psychics? The 'producer', 'casting director', 'director of publicity' all ready arranged because they're all Jones's friends? Is Jones naïve? Or totally barking? Oh, just remembered ... didn't a Dreary or two ago state that Jones's agent had said that another 40,000 words were required? That's a HELL of a lot of 'script'. Or was it the much vaunted 'novel', that by happy coincidence, Jones submitted the day before meeting the 'famous movie star'? Still, I see that The Baker got a mention ... same old same old. |
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#5484 |
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Join Date: Apr 2011
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Quote:
What the hell did Nadiya Hussain ever do to Liz? That piece is just flat out insane. You're right, Rubbish Name, it's all about someone getting attention that she's not getting. The fact that the woman bakes things is ... interesting.
As for her whining because *nobody gave her an arranged marriage* so she could "holiday" for ten years at home with the kids... perhaps Liz would like a clitoridectomy while she's at it. FFS it's such an insult to all the women everywhere who have NEVER had choices. I think this is actually the first time I have ever wanted to slap Liz Jones. |
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#5485 |
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Join Date: Jul 2014
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Felt so angry reading her article on Nadiya
She belittled her wonderful achievements, Those of a lovely woman , someone Liz could never have any chance of emulating It was full of jealousy, a mean , spiteful piece of writing You should be ashamed, Liz! |
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#5486 |
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Join Date: May 2006
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OK, yes, the putative 'producer' was there because the 'famous movie star' whispered to her that she couldn't wait to read Jones's script. Hmm, really?
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#5487 |
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 3,856
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Couldn't resist another dig at Jack Monroe in the farticle, I see, because Liz being a VEGAN with her goat's cheese and eggs knows so much more about cooking on a shoestring than the person who has had to feed herself and a child on those recipes for years on end. And as we all know, LGBT people are all exempt from any criticism whatsoever (as are men, ethnic minorities, married couples, and young people) while everyone relentlessly bullies Poor Liz because she's a middle-aged heterosexual SWF
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#5488 |
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Islington, London
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The famous movie star paced, white faced, round the room of her luxurious suite in the Kings Cross Travelodge. Her manager regarded her in alarm. ‘What’s happened?’ he enquired anxiously. ‘I’ve never seen you so agitated.’
The famous movie star stopped pacing and shuddered. ‘I’ve just come from The Hospital Club and …’ Her agent interjected. ‘Oh no, don’t tell me you’ve done – you know – again? I thought your latest rehab had knocked that on the head.’ ‘Nothing like that,’ replied the FMS quickly. ‘It’s an HOTEL, if you must know. Because somehow I’d been persuaded to see some woman there about a film script. Tell you the truth, when I agreed, I was a bit confused – it was at an awards ceremony for something or other and she was sitting near me and I’d been a bit too free with the tequila … you know how it is, and next thing I knew, she was texting me to remind me that we were having a meet …’ She trailed off miserably. Her agent nodded sympathetically. ‘Still, could be useful. Not much film work around at the moment. Apart from the voice-over I got you for the new Toilet Duck commercial. And possibly a nice little earner for another commercial, where all you have to do is look pretty and pour blue liquid on an, ahem, panty liner thingie.’ The FMS glared at him. ‘Thanks!’ she snapped. ‘Anyway, it was hellish. At the restaurant, she was there with all these weird people. Two of them were draped in scarves and beads and looked like Camila Batmanghelidjh’s sisters – apparently they were psychics. And some other women … she said they were going to produce the film, also cast it and do all the publicity …well, I mean, what PLANET is the woman on? Yes, I was beginning to wonder if The Hospital Club was some sort of – you know – asylum or something?’ Her agent gawped. ‘I’m almost lost for words. Who IS she? Perhaps she’s a brilliantly talented but eccentric writer, and maybe we should humour her …? After all, work’s work …’. He trailed off as the FMS threw a thick sheaf of papers at him. ‘HER SCRIPT!’ she screamed. ‘First, she started rambling on about punching some boxer … or was it a horse … on the nose. Then she lectured me because I ordered a steak with all the trimmings, and THEN she went off on one because the veg. with my steak came in a stack .. and she bawled out the poor waiter. I tell you, by then I thought I was in a nightmare and would wake up. But it got worse. She insisted I read some of her bloody film script there and then … OK, YOU have a look at it. Tell me I’m not going mad.’ Her agent shuddered and studied the first page. ‘SCENE 1. A poor home in Essex. A little girl of about seven is discontentedly playing with a broom, on which she sits astride. She is dressed in obviously homemade knitted jersey, skirt, socks. Her mother is sitting nearby, busily knitting. Little girl: ‘Mummy, what are you doing?’ Mother: ‘I am knitting you a nice new pair of knickers’ Little girl: ‘Mummy, this broom does not feel like a horse. It is no use pretending it does. There is nothing like the warm, sweaty feeling of real throbbing horseflesh between one’s pumping thighs as one jogs up and down, up and down, up and down ... The broomstick isn’t doing it for me. Why can’t you and Daddy buy me a horse?’ The FMS screamed. ‘Stop, STOP … no, go on a bit, leave out all the childhood crap. Try the middle part. Obligingly, her agent flicked through the manuscript. ‘Ah, here we are: SCENE 3,298: The sitting room of a big house in deepest Yorkshire. The heroine is angrily striding around in a tastefully appointed sitting room. She is screaming at a cowering elderly man of somewhat hippy aspect who is hastily trying to stub out a roll-up in an Abigail Ahern plant pot. Heroine: ‘You have LET ME DOWN AGAIN. Yesterday you let the dogs eat one of my lovely neon pink sofas. Today you forgot to pick up my dry cleaning. Thanks for that! So I have NO KNICKERS to wear. And I want to go and ride one of my surviving horses and I don’t have jodhpurs any more as I had to sell them to raise money to pay off the Inland Revenue … they are PERSECUTING me and it's all my accountant's fault and my friends' fault and my family's fault because I buy them lovely presents and what do I get in return and IT'S NOT FAIR AND ...’ Elderly Man interrupting: Well … who needs knickers? Ride “commando”. I’ll take photos. ‘NO MORE’, bellowed the FMS. ‘Pour me a gin … in fact, give me the damn bottle. And tomorrow, get onto the blue liquid on panty pads ad agency and tell them to send the contract …’ |
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#5489 |
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Join Date: Nov 2015
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Ok I admit defeat. When I first starting commenting on this thread it was because some comments were downright nasty. I got some flak, but I have thick skin. However her latest article about Nadiya Hussain was disgusting. I will go and crawl away.
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#5490 |
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Join Date: Apr 2014
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Dear Splodge's Mum
No, don't crawl off, stay and suffer with the rest of us! |
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#5491 |
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Islington, London
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Splodge's Mum - don't feel bad. I know we can be pretty hard on Jones here on DS, but really, compared to today's spite-filled and jeaous 'Farticle' where she puts the boot into the lovely Bake Off winner - and Jack Monroe .. well, I reckon we're pretty charitable(ish).
Do stick around, please. |
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#5492 |
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Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: England
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Cannot bear to look at what LJ has spewed out about the lovely Nadiya Hussain but I see she's still banging on about 1983 in the dreary. This is a huge part of the problem with LJ. She has trapped herself in the past and there is no getting her out of there. Sad.
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#5493 |
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Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Ireland
Posts: 535
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Quote:
Ok I admit defeat. When I first starting commenting on this thread it was because some comments were downright nasty. I got some flak, but I have thick skin. However her latest article about Nadiya Hussain was disgusting. I will go and crawl away.
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#5494 |
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Join Date: Jan 2007
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Today's Diary--the farcically simplistic and unrealistic encounter with the "movie star", etc--was like a 10-year old's attempt to describe the way a movie is made. ...Hey, you just give the script straight to a Famous Movie Star and have a nice cosy meeting with them, along with all the other key players, yes?! Because that's how it all happens, right? I was reminded of a Mitchell and Webb sketch about two scriptwriters who didn't bother to do any research before working on a hospital drama. Then they had to write it in a hurry without any knowledge of medical procedures, so it was full of lines like: "Quick, get the electric zapping thing to start his heart! .....Oh dear, now he's poorly from too much electric!" It was as if Liz once read a Bunty comic about writing a movie script and used that as her template.
It was a bit like that memorable Diary when the "rock star" (hmm) wrote excitedly from the road, sounding like a maiden aunt who'd never encountered a big travelling tour bus before. My goodness, I dread to think what this novel and screenplay are like! Yet more humiliation for poor D, I see. How does he put up with it week after week? |
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#5495 |
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Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Ireland
Posts: 535
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Quote:
Today's Diary--the farcically simplistic and unrealistic encounter with the "movie star", etc--was like a 10-year old's attempt to describe the way a movie is made. ...Hey, you just give the script straight to a Famous Movie Star and have a nice cosy meeting with them, along with all the other key players, yes?! Because that's how it all happens, right? I was reminded of a Mitchell and Webb sketch about two scriptwriters who didn't bother to do any research before working on a hospital drama. Then they had to write it in a hurry without any knowledge of medical procedures, so it was full of lines like: "Quick, get the electric zapping thing to start his heart! .....Oh dear, now he's poorly from too much electric!" It was as if Liz once read a Bunty comic about writing a movie script and used that as her template.
It was a bit like that memorable Diary when the "rock star" (hmm) wrote excitedly from the road, sounding like a maiden aunt who'd never encountered a big travelling tour bus before. My goodness, I dread to think what this novel and screenplay are like! Yet more humiliation for poor D, I see. How does he put up with it week after week? |
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#5496 |
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 3,856
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Liz's Yeates article was terrible mostly because she herself didn't seem to realise how insensitive and inappropriate it was. She came across as genuinely not seeing anything wrong with saying that the aesthetic of street lights should be more important than local people's safety, or that Yeates's death is made more tragic by her spending her last hours in a cheap bar. It's also partly the Mail's fault: there's good reason why fashion/lifestyle journalists aren't usually sent to cover major crime stories.
But the Nadiya article is blatant and deliberate; it's a hit-piece. It's Liz's excuse to vent her spleen at someone who embodies everything she hates: young, pretty, cheerful, a mother, likes sweets and cakes, belongs to a race and religion that Liz thinks are protected from criticism while she, Liz, gets targeted for being a middle-aged white heterosexual. On one hand I can see the "logic" behind it; on the other hand, I have no sympathy for her because it's just so nasty. (This is also the second or third time in as many months that she has been vile about Jack Monroe. If I were Monroe I'd be on the phone to my lawyer right about now ...) |
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#5497 |
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Join Date: Jul 2016
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Yet more humiliation for poor D, I see. How does he put up with it week after week? The woman has an evil streak in her, as do whoever gives her bile the green light for publishing week upon week. |
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#5498 |
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Join Date: Jul 2016
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It takes guts to admit a mistake. Her piece on Jo Yeates was the point at which a lot of us really turned against her, but she's kept up her standards and today's is nasty.
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#5499 |
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Join Date: Aug 2005
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I haven't read the piece yet, but in order for a film to be made it has to be accepted by a) a production company and b) financial backers. Unless it's being made by a major studio, you need separate financial backers. Most production companies can't afford to finance films themselves. The crucial thing for finding financial backers is "talent attachment" i.e. getting A list or B list actors to tentatively agree to star in the film. Financiers won't invest in a film unless there's a known quantity actor attached. Directors too, but to a lesser extent unless it's someone huge like Spielberg.
So even if (IF) the screenplay has been bought or optioned by a production company, it doesn't mean it will be made. The next stage would be to get actors attached, in order to find financing. It's not uncommon for screenwriters to be involved at that stage. So Liz trying to pitch it to actors does make total sense, and I've done the same many times. But it is unprofessional for her to be writing about it, and it does imply that her screenplay is pretty small fry and no certain thing. It also implies that none of the major players like the studios and big film organisations like BBC Films and Film 4 were interested. Because if they were, they wouldn't need to go talent-hunting to attract financing. If the film was already financed and a sure thing, they would hire a casting director and would have no problem getting actors interested. The only time I've seen hundreds of fans outside stage door is if there's a big TV star in the play. It happened with David Tennant, Cumberbatch, Hiddleston, and thingy from Game of Thrones who was in Faustus. |
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#5500 |
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 24
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Fell down two stairs, broke both bones in my ankle, and am currently wearing a sort of Meccano Set of metal posts and rods that are screwed into a structure that surrounds said ankle and that at certain points screws right into the bone. It could be worse, goodness knows, but I read through the doctor's post-surgery suggestions and have learned that this Marvin the Martian thingee is going to be part of me for possibly up to 12 weeks, and I will not be putting any weight on it during that period and probably beyond. And I have considerable weight to put on it, too. Mr. Dropp and I thus are frequently practicing an awkward embrace that pulls me out of bed, rather than onto it, and then involves a sort of shuffle over to the "pottie." This move usually results in a sort of literal "dropp" when I collapse onto said pottie. Or onto a wheelchair (my other most likely place to land). There may come a time when I am able to using an actual, real-life toilet, but at this point that's up two steps and well away from the kitchen, dining room, lounge, and stuff I like to be able to get to during waking hours.
Mr. Dropp was at one time a nurse, but still, I'd have hoped our more intimate moments wouldn't involve jostling our way to a pottie he is kind enough to empty. I spend a certain amount of time--a lot of time--looking at this genuinely quite large thingee on my ankle and think "This is not going to spice up our sex life, even though it's so large that I can't get it through my knicker leg and thus am knickerless 24/7. Mr. Dropp was once a young boy, but his interest in Meccano never really coincided with an interest in sex." Worse things can happen; much worse things. But having read Liz's Bleary this week leaves me thinking "I fell down the stairs but am solvent and have a large family that loves me. You come around here whining about your unloved boyfriend and the consequences of overspending and taking on two many animals and all the other problems you've caused yourself, and you're going to get a leg of the potty up the part of your person you excrete from, Liz. But I'll do it with a smile, if that helps." However. It was one thing to imagine Julia Roberts turning up at Hugh Grant's Notting Hill bookstore. I like a good fantasy rom-com as much as the next aging woman with an ungainly antenna drilled into her bones, but I am not buying the "movie star's" existence. The comments mention Rebel Wilson, Glenn Close and Anne Archer as possible candidates; am I alone in thinking "These are not what are known as "movie stars'". Glenn Close, once, maybe, but that was a very long time ago; supporting cast, maybe, but . . . not everyone who has been in a movie is a movie star. Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant, more so, though their days may have already passed. But those are "movie stars." Harrison Ford. (I am dating myself.) So as far as I can tell she doesn't actually know what a movie star IS, and as many before have said, she doesn't know anything about the film business. You write a treatment, and you send it to your agent or an agent. You don't somehow, miraculously, set up a meeting with a "movie star" who hasn't seen a script and knows nothing it but is apparently meeting you because she finds you "fascinating'". Nope. Her agent sends her scripts, and if she's really a movie star she can pick and choose. She reads scripts and gets interested: it's the script she has to find interesting. No wasting time in going to meals with an aging "screenwriter" who brings along people she apparently feels would be JUST RIGHT as the producer etc. etc. What a fathead. But how pleasant that numerous people are writing comments indicating that say quite convincingly "This is bogus." |
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