Who would take such a reliably loser-like boyfriend to this funfair?

I notice that in this little fantasy the "profoundly deaf" Liz of the bat-sensitive ears can hear a whisper. There must be SOME reality to Liz Jones, but I don't think it's what we're reading.

Althea, sorry to hear of your accident. Hope you get well soon.

LJ makes me feel better about my life, too. I think that's why a lot of people read her ramblings because there is no other value whatsoever to them.

The article on Nadiya, who I have met and is adorable, is pure bile and jealousy.

I can't bring myself to read it. Just the headline was nasty enough.

The Mail are a disgrace and everytime you think they can't possibly sink any lower, they do.

REBEL WILSON?!?!!?!?

Oh my God please let Rebel Wilson play Liz in the movie of Liz's life. I mean, an amazing woman who rose from a life of desperate drudgery and knitted knickers to the glittering world of high fashion and pony ownership, all the while striking out to save animals and point out the evils of the fashion industry, and yet eternally disappointed in love UNTIL... the return of the Boy Next Door.

Because Rebel is fat. And I like to imagine how Liz would squirm and struggle, torn between "see I am putting a fatty in a major role, notice how groundbreaking I am" and "OMG this woman is too fat to play me, mean my thinly veiled self insert, OMG OMG help me someone help me".

Interviewer: "Liz, congratulations on your movie. It's been said by some critics that your main character, Beth, is a thinly veiled self-insert. What do you say to that?"

Liz: "Well obviously it's not. Rebel and I are nothing alike. She has the most wonderful teeth. I spent most of my childhood and early adult life with a broken tooth because my parents couldn't afford dentistry and further destroyed the already shabby and stained items by eating nothing but apples during my period of anorexia. Which Rebel also obviously doesn't have. I want to show how a fat girl can do really well in life. Unlike me. I have never been a success."

And I'm sorry to hear about your injury Althea_Dropp - hope you are recovering quickly!

Althea - I am so sorry to hear about your accident - and the subsequent metal scaffolding you're forced to wear. But what an uplifting, optimistic, humorous post. Not surprised that you're so well-loved and cared for. I'm staggering around on crutches (left hip fallen to pieces) but that's nothing compared to what you're going through. Your Mr. Dropp sounds lovely, as do you.

Still, your (and my, and everyone else's) suffering is obviously of NO comparison to what 'poor Liz' goes through ...!

I do predict that we are now in for another long-running saga similar to that of the (fake) 'Rock Star', but in this case, the 'Famous Movie Star'. But of course, I could be wrong ... and in a year or so there'll be a blockbuster directed by Stanley Kubrick (oh, OK, someone's just told me, not him, DO keep up, Amikolaichek), or Stephen Speilberg, starring well - who knows - in the 'Liz' role. Unless, of course ... Liz is aiming TO PLAY HERSELF?

Complete case of the green eyed monster regarding Nadiya.
Bet she wishes her baker man had been as successful as her. As for the screenplay meeting whatever it was, I mean really?!.Althea, ouchy, hope you,re not in too much pain. Get better soon.

Liz's description of her encounter with the movie star to drop off her "work" could only be more childish if she had had her favourite cuddly toys arranged around the table as well:

"And this is Fluffy, he's the lighting director, and this is Molly, she's the director of make-up..."

The movie star's face as she was introduced to the two psychic mavens masquerading as bona-fide professionals in the film industry would have been a picture; however if she really exists in real life she would be well used to receiving scripts from deluded wanna-be's.

And could this be Sue NEEDLEMAN (her only friend whom she's known for years etc..) now making an appearance as "casting director" ? I wonder how much salary she is paying them all, you know, what with her being broke and everything...still I suppose she can have a bit of fun with HMRC when she puts tries to put the cost of a weekend out in London with her chums as a legitimate business expense..

Pure comedy gold this - -the only problem is; Liz thinks it's all real !

I started to write about how horrible her piece on Nadiya is, or how its all click bait, the movie star thing is complete fabrication (http://www.raindance.org/9-golden-ru...ur-screenplay/). But then I thought how futile that would be - and felt a bit down. Then decided that Liz and the Daily Fail aren't worth my emotion and decided to read another national news channel from now on. No side bar of shame, no Kardashians, no Liz.
Lets see how long this lasts

Once upon a time, Peskypoo, I'd have suggested the august Daily Telegraph ... I signed up (around £60 and change a year to read it online) but alas, these day, it's got like a very slightly older sister of the Daily Fail and Wail on Sunday.

Only thing missing is the 'Sidebar of Shame', featuring Kim Whatshername's huge arse, Z-listers in teensy thongs or their embonpoint hanging out of an inadequate bikini top, plus such role models as Kerry Katona's and Danielle Westrbook's latest 'romantic' disasters and ... lots and lots of words like 'sweet', 'delightful', 'adorable', enchanting', 'curvy', 'voluptuous' (by the way. 'voluptuous means some Z lister who has run to fat and is now trying to get a contract to make a 'slimming/exercise' DVD). And - sexually incontinent footballers, Justin Bleeder or whatever he's called, assorted alleged coke-heads ...and the guy who's in, or isn't in, the Kardishpans family and is now a laydee .... or isn't he, sorry, SHE, considering changing back?

AND - still - more and more and more about Kim and her huge backside (Just wondering: is there a sort of collective - ahem - FETISH amongst the Wail/Fail newspaper group about ... you know? Bums?)

So that leaves The Times. I haven't subscribed to it - yet.

It's not the DM's fault that Liz Jones writes a nasty, spiteful article.
Clearly she is a very unhappy individual
Freedom if speech and all that, however repulsive it is

It is however the DM's fault that it chooses to publish her pieces - it doesn't have to - and freedom of speech would not extend to anything libellous that Liz wrote. The DM would wear the cost of publishing anything Liz wrote that was libellous.

The DM publishes LJ's stuff as clickbait, end of story.

It's their fault if they publish it. They could turn it down, but because of their hateful agenda against people they see as 'different', they choose not to.

Freedom of speech is all well and good, but with that freedom comes responsibility and consquences.

^ I didn't think the article was especially nasty - it was simply a pathetic lot of dreary, meaningless piffle and if that really is the best she can drum up then well, time to retire, methinks.

I mean even an article about the virtues of Kim Kardashian's derriere would have been more newsworthy and journalistically credible.

Ha! Perfect!

Jealous! I love her.


That's not what freedom of speech is.

The DM intentionally commission journos to write incendiary articles (the more trollish the better) for the clickbait, it's a 100% conscious, well planned out marketing strategy.

I support freedom of speech but what the press print very often abuses the concept of free speech. Articles like that which LJ wrote about Nadiya are all out bullying and utterly worthless at best and damaging to society at worst. Most of the time those bullied by the press have no right of reply which makes it even worse.

And ultimately the DM are responsible for what their journos write because they are the ones who tell them it's okay and print it.

Have to agree with you. It was typical poor meee, nobody arranged a marriage for meee..

That's why they commissioned the ridiculous Samantha Brick articles - not incendiary in the same sense but calculated to infuriate readers.

Oooh, Samantha Brick! Wonder how she's making money since being dethroned as clickbait queen by Katie Hopkins?

Apart from the vile attack on Mary Beard, Samantha Brick's articles always gave ma a good chuckle.

In which Pod!Liz and Pod!Dave politely faux-text some promotion for Liz's novel, and then real Liz explodes in a doubtless Prosecco-fuelled rant full of all the usual bollocks.

Meanwhile, to my shock, I rather liked Liz's article about riding a bike with designer trainer wheels attached. It was light, self-deprecating and quite funny. Till she got to the gastric band quip, which was completely unnecessary, She just does not know where to pull her punches, does she?

It's like LJ just cannot help but be nasty. Even if there is no real oppertunity to do so she will pluck a chance to spew bile out of thin air anyway. It's like there is something deep within her core being on which being nasty thrives. I'd feel sorry for her if she weren't wretched in pretty much every single way.

She's written a 'thriller'? What's the betting it features a deranged farmer terrorising the plucky but hard-up vegan, animal loving 'journalist' next door. I can see all sorts of Wicker Man possibilities here, whereby 'the villagers' make a pyre on her front lawn with the neon pink Conrans, back copies of Vogue, the Ashton Kutcher (or whatever it was) desk, toothpick jeans (what the hell are they?) and buttery soft bomber jackets. They could use the Dipstick candles and Myla knickers to set it alight. Oh wait -spoiler alert, as the DM are fond of telling you after the ahem - spoiler alert.

Yes the gastric band quip was nasty, which is what decided me to praise the article on the same subject by Dame Jenni Murray in the Mail a couple of weeks or so ago. It's accompanied by a lovely photo of her on her bike, complete with stabilisers bought by her son (a MUCH better bike too).

Liz looks a complete mess and she's not even trying to ride the bike properly. Why does the MOS let her do these things? It really is a carp newspaper nowadays.