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Liz Jones - YOU magazine (Part 4)


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Old 02-10-2016, 13:51
vampyre
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If you scroll to the very bottom of this page, she's wearing the Wang jacket.
I don't do ageist, wear what you want as long as you look good in it (in a perfect world) or are happy with it (in the real world), but Alexander Wang's clothes are aimed at a much, much younger age group than Liz. All I ever want when I'm dressing up is for the clothes, makeup and accessories to flatter me and hide my many flaws, but Liz definitely doesn't see it that way.
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Old 02-10-2016, 18:17
Jennifer_Jones2
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Dreadful jacket - sleeves so tight and wrinkly it wouldn't fit most people anyway. I don't wear much makeup as my skin is greasy, so I concentrate on keeping it clean. I like certain shapes and colours of clothes when dressing up, but that's it. I do like her black sequinned skirt though.
I cannot recall what other items were on her list of things she's selling, apart from her jacket, the new CH boiler and her collection of Vogues. It wasn't a long list though and I do wonder if she had warned her sister beforehand. Hope her sister has got a good solicitor.
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Old 02-10-2016, 19:21
amikolaichek
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It might be that, having located Nic miles away, Jones HAS put her sister in the cottage attached to the Yorkshire property. But I still reckon it's the sister's place in Exmoor, possibly bought by Jones on a mortgage, that's the cottage in question, about to be repossessed.

I agree with other posters - a bank just WOULDN'T send an email such as Jones describes. And even if they did, why would they suggest 'assisted housing'? And - really - this has come as a surprise to her? Did she think her debts would just go away?

Wish I'd seen the 'mistake' Dreary early this morning. I did look around a quarter past midnight but nothing from her was up yet.
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Old 02-10-2016, 19:34
Jennifer_Jones2
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Hi Amikolaichek
I don't know who actually puts it in the paper - they don't have compositors any more, do they? What always strikes me about her offerings is that, despite the fact that she has to present them 6 weeks in advance, there seems to be nothing set about when the paper goes on line. Last week's offering was early but this week's wasn't in when I checked, so I watched some more "West Wing" and finished a disc at about 1.10 and thought I would just check before I went to bed.
I read it, noted that her article in the paper itself wasn't yet up so went to bed, puzzling over whether or not her sister could appeal eviction, what else Liz hasn't mentioned at all, the odd list of things she is selling/has sold, but thought I was definitely going mad when I got up and read something completely different! Wonder what next week will say, both in the magazine and the paper!!
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Old 02-10-2016, 19:59
alaninmcr
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According to her wiki she has/had 3 sisters - Carolyn, Sue and Claire. Not sure which is which and it probably varies in the diaries anyway
Thanks. It was Clare (according to the Mail) who died - and Liz was banned from the funeral.
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Old 02-10-2016, 20:01
cathrin
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Things No Grown Man Has Ever Uttered Before In The History Of The World, (No, Not ANY Man, Let Alone A Retired Sixtysomething):

(1) "Yippee! I have a girlfriend!"
(2) "...But tomorrow, I know you have a review to write and another film you have to see in the evening and your YOU column to file, but I'm going to take you shopping so you can choose your present".

I actually think this--the fawning, eager-to-please, lovestruck teenager/lapdog picture she paints of him--is almost more humiliating than the insulting put-downs.

I saw the crisp packet link very briefly too....it seemed to begin with some sort of typical Liz-esque rant about the awfulness of the local shop?

...On the plus side, at least for once she didn't end the column with some random passing stranger greeting her (Open Mouthed, naturally) from a passing car with "Hey, you're Liz Jones! My heroine! I hang on your every word and follow your every move, using your wonderful success and general fabulousness as a blueprint for my own life!" or some such nonsense. (The wedding party was my favourite. I went to a wedding recently, and we were all so busy being caught up in the joy of the day, none of us would have noticed if a herd of wildebeest rampaged past the cars. Unlike the wedding party who drove past Liz, with nothing better to do than stare at her Open-Mouthed.)

PS Is Open-Mouthed the new £26,000?
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Old 02-10-2016, 21:49
Jennifer_Jones2
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Hi Cathrin

Yes. She started off doing the horses then dropped in at the Co-op for the ingredients for a stir fry. She couldn't find any Tofu or plain crisps so lost her rag with the poor girl on the till!

It then went on to the e mail from the Bank and it now strikes me that she got that e mail at Lawn House, but also while she was at David's??? Perhaps there are two of her!!
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Old 02-10-2016, 22:22
Bellagio
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Hi Cathrin

Yes. She started off doing the horses then dropped in at the Co-op for the ingredients for a stir fry. She couldn't find any Tofu or plain crisps so lost her rag with the poor girl on the till!

It then went on to the e mail from the Bank and it now strikes me that she got that e mail at Lawn House, but also while she was at David's??? Perhaps there are two of her!!
One is far too many...
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Old 02-10-2016, 22:35
sqwerty505
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It seems to be all bonkers bullsh*t. I only read it, to read the comments on here!
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Old 02-10-2016, 23:02
Jennifer_Jones2
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The problem is that she gets her readers thinking they too are bonkers!
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Old 03-10-2016, 00:55
KeepBooks
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Yes, me too ... found the link, but just takes me to MoS front page. Most likely a cock-up on the part of either Jones or the MoS.

As for the sister's cottage bought when Jones lived in Exmoor - maybe it's in Jones's name, so, if her creditors are finally pouncing, it counts as one of her assets and therefore up for grabs. Not sure how the law stands if the poor sister and her son still living in it - can it be repossessed from under them?
Similar circumstance happened to a friend who was renting a home which was repossesed due to the homeowners bankruptcy and yes, they were given by the bank a generous 30 days to vacate the home, so I imagine the same can be done to someone staying rent-free.
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Old 03-10-2016, 01:52
amikolaichek
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Things No Grown Man Has Ever Uttered Before In The History Of The World, (No, Not ANY Man, Let Alone A Retired Sixtysomething):

(1) "Yippee! I have a girlfriend!"
(2) "...But tomorrow, I know you have a review to write and another film you have to see in the evening and your YOU column to file, but I'm going to take you shopping so you can choose your present".

I actually think this--the fawning, eager-to-please, lovestruck teenager/lapdog picture she paints of him--is almost more humiliating than the insulting put-downs.

I saw the crisp packet link very briefly too....it seemed to begin with some sort of typical Liz-esque rant about the awfulness of the local shop?

...On the plus side, at least for once she didn't end the column with some random passing stranger greeting her (Open Mouthed, naturally) from a passing car with "Hey, you're Liz Jones! My heroine! I hang on your every word and follow your every move, using your wonderful success and general fabulousness as a blueprint for my own life!" or some such nonsense. (The wedding party was my favourite. I went to a wedding recently, and we were all so busy being caught up in the joy of the day, none of us would have noticed if a herd of wildebeest rampaged past the cars. Unlike the wedding party who drove past Liz, with nothing better to do than stare at her Open-Mouthed.)

PS Is Open-Mouthed the new £26,000?
Sorry, it's late, I'm tired, been along day but I don't get the
'PS Is Open-Mouthed the new £26,000?' bit in your post?

It's me, being a bit dim. What have I missed?
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Old 03-10-2016, 04:21
Thornfield
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Banks wouldn't conduct the sort of things LJ is talking about by email would they? In my experience banks telephone and/or demand to see you in person for even the little things. I've never been emailed by my bank. Not sure if they even have my email address!
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Old 03-10-2016, 07:01
Porcupine
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I'm sure my bank have my mobile number and email address, but sometimes so important would surely be relayed by post surely.
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Old 03-10-2016, 07:58
Rubbish Name
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Similar circumstance happened to a friend who was renting a home which was repossesed due to the homeowners bankruptcy and yes, they were given by the bank a generous 30 days to vacate the home, so I imagine the same can be done to someone staying rent-free.
I would have thought it depends on your tenancy agreement. If there is no agreement, the bank would provide a "reasonable" amount of time. If your tenancy states the landlord has to provide 2 months' notice, so would the bank.

Sorry, it's late, I'm tired, been along day but I don't get the
'PS Is Open-Mouthed the new £26,000?' bit in your post?

It's me, being a bit dim. What have I missed?
Nothing LJ buys ever costs less than £26,000. There have been holidays, cars, weddings, veneers, goodness knows what, but they're always £26,000. It became sojething of a joke. Now, everybody looks at her "open mouthed". Nobody just looks blankly at her, or even slightly askance, no - always open mouthed.

Banks wouldn't conduct the sort of things LJ is talking about by email would they? In my experience banks telephone and/or demand to see you in person for even the little things. I've never been emailed by my bank. Not sure if they even have my email address!
My bank has an 'Important Messages' thingy when I log into it online, it never sends anything to my email except a notification that there are messages there. Maybe she means this? Maybe they did this and will follow it up in writing by post? Maybe she just made the whole lot up. Maybe I should find something more constructive to think about.
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Old 03-10-2016, 08:00
Thornfield
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My bank has an 'Important Messages' thingy when I log into it online, it never sends anything to my email except a notification that there are messages there. Maybe she means this? Maybe they did this and will follow it up in writing by post? Maybe she just made the whole lot up.
My bank has the important messages thing too.

Given her track record I reckon she's just talking out of her arse again, re: the email.
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Old 03-10-2016, 08:54
Suzy_Cat
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Hi Cathrin

It then went on to the e mail from the Bank and it now strikes me that she got that e mail at Lawn House, but also while she was at David's??? Perhaps there are two of her!!
Webmail?

But yes, it's just shoddy writing.
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Old 03-10-2016, 10:22
rosariofire
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Things No Grown Man Has Ever Uttered Before In The History Of The World, (No, Not ANY Man, Let Alone A Retired Sixtysomething):

(1) "Yippee! I have a girlfriend!"
(2) "...But tomorrow, I know you have a review to write and another film you have to see in the evening and your YOU column to file, but I'm going to take you shopping so you can choose your present".

I actually think this--the fawning, eager-to-please, lovestruck teenager/lapdog picture she paints of him--is almost more humiliating than the insulting put-downs.

I saw the crisp packet link very briefly too....it seemed to begin with some sort of typical Liz-esque rant about the awfulness of the local shop?

...On the plus side, at least for once she didn't end the column with some random passing stranger greeting her (Open Mouthed, naturally) from a passing car with "Hey, you're Liz Jones! My heroine! I hang on your every word and follow your every move, using your wonderful success and general fabulousness as a blueprint for my own life!" or some such nonsense. (The wedding party was my favourite. I went to a wedding recently, and we were all so busy being caught up in the joy of the day, none of us would have noticed if a herd of wildebeest rampaged past the cars. Unlike the wedding party who drove past Liz, with nothing better to do than stare at her Open-Mouthed.)

PS Is Open-Mouthed the new £26,000?
Cathrin, so good to see you back on here! 😃
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Old 03-10-2016, 10:45
IFonly58
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SO, to sum up this weeks tosh:

In which I go to London to see a film premiere "with David" but when I get there I tell him he can't come but still ferry me about. Aren't I clever!
I am so nervous about seeing a chick-flick and writing a few words about it that that I can't sleep! Forgot for a second that I am a professional journalist and a "..power house with ambition seeping from every pore". What am I like!
I'll make up for it by quoting our conversations (it is not made-up nonsense, this is how real people talk!)
I also mention - again- the light in his bathroom and make some comment about his mental abilities when he tries to help me (it's not offensive, it's called wit!)
Why David can't see that I am not here to see him, but to WORK, I don't know. Bless. Anyway, he tries his best and did made some cakes but I couldn't be bothered to ask what they were called: it's not important to me.
Bit of a downer with the bank's email telling me I have to get out of my house! I thought that there would have been lots of official letters about it before it got this far but I am just so super busy I didn't notice! I am just pleased the Bank are going to sort out my housing for me - it's the least they can do!
Phew!, it's been a busy week, I've just about got enough time to make a list of life lessons for (other) women so that they can live the sort of happy, fulfilling, contented life I have!
Do as I say girls, not do as I do !!
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Old 03-10-2016, 18:25
Zarla
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I`ve been reading her column for years and there is zero continuity to it. She also writes about dates way after they`ve occurred. She should be on August now.
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Old 03-10-2016, 19:30
amikolaichek
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Nine cats (five ferals, four housecats). Three dogs or is it two? Or four? Horses/ponies - I've lost count. HOW big is The Baker's back garden? And something else - he'd have to do something about those perpetually burning tree stumps she goes on about. And ensure that drains are safely covered so that some poor nag doesn't plunge down into the London sewerage system.

Plus keeping the untrained dogs under control. Don't think there are many sheep grazing in Brixton but best be on the safe side. Still, just think of the endless 'Diary' fodder. 'Poo picking' in The Baker's back garden will encompass not just the nags' droppings, but the dogs' deposits too. At least the nine cats will do the decent thing, and 'powder their noses' in neighbours' gardens, as cats are wont to do (at least, mine were).
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Old 03-10-2016, 19:41
greatkingrat
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I`ve been reading her column for years and there is zero continuity to it. She also writes about dates way after they`ve occurred. She should be on August now.
In this weeks column she wrote about her birthday which was 5th September, so it is about 4 weeks behind.
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Old 03-10-2016, 19:55
lomo123
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Has anyone found the missing post, I googled headline, a crisp packet put me over the edge (or something like that) but it just took me onto mails page.
So does this mean the Reeth house is sold or is it time up?.
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Old 03-10-2016, 20:21
fizzycat
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Has anyone found the missing post, I googled headline, a crisp packet put me over the edge (or something like that) but it just took me onto mails page.
So does this mean the Reeth house is sold or is it time up?.
It's still on the market and not under offer at present so I'm assuming it's 'Time Up' for selling and it'll be forced to go to auction now. I hate to think what damage she's done to it as the current asking price is so far below what she bought it for.
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Old 03-10-2016, 20:27
Jennifer_Jones2
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I do wonder if the family made her change her Diary because of her sister also being evicted. Look how quick they were off the mark when she put a photo of her mother up and also when she wrote about her deceased sister. It makes me wonder if she had spoken to her sister about this before?
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