Or perhaps she used the steam from her Illy coffee.

Well, of course, her creditors seized her designer kettle, along with the Vera Wang jacket and the CH boiler etc. etc. And plates. Don't forget she mentioned having only one plate left and that broken because a dog sat on it.

But maybe they left her the coffee-maker - what's the poshest coffee maker around? My coffee maker is ME, shoving a spoonful of Nescafé in a mug.

Now trying to avoid an image of Liz squatting, au natural, over a demitasse of Illy.

OK, I won't mention steam-cleaning again. (Or candles).

Or Vera Wang since it's Alexander.

Oops, sorry, Vera. Didn't know there were two Wangs.

You don't do much for the rep of journalists with your cavalier attitude to accuracy. After all these details must be of super critical importance if Lizard tells us about them.

I've been following Liz Jones' tales of woe for too many years and the most frustrating thing is her refusal to rehome her animals. She would obviously be much better off money wise and emotionally without her collection of pets but apparently refuses to see any reason at all on the matter.

I just wonder how come the RSPCA haven't investigated her yet.

Do you think she would use Evian to make the steam or San Pellegrino for added sparkle?

Possibly for the same reason they don't pursue travellers, they would meet with too much opposition. Sorry for the negativity but I speak from experience of this organisation.

Anyway, she doesn't actually do the looking after the animals, spending so much time having body parts steamed and travelling round the country working 23 1/2 hours a day, so they will be in reasonable condition.

Definitely San Pellegrino. To tickle the fancy.

Her animals have been checked up on. When one of the cats was attacked by one of the dogs, she had messages from Celia Hammond pronto.

Her animals are not animals to her - they are her family, siblings, kids, friends etc and that's why she can't and doesn't give them up in their own best interests and she will happily spend a fortune she hasn't got on them at the vets (see Lizzie, the ex racehorse).

If she did care about them, she would have given Prudence back to her actual owner as soon as she asked, but she kept her out of spite, which is why David was entirely right to take her. Just hope he gives her to DD!

Her 'rescuing' was a tax thing unless I'm greatly mistaken, but as usual she screwed up.

Does she actually have some sort of 'animal charity'? I hadn't heard about that.

Was that that "Good Food Nation" she and Isabel started?

She was at one point styling herself as a rescuer. Whether she ever went through the proper channels that mean tax breaks or not I do not know. The woman who had pictures of a healthy horse she couldn't look after anymore really enjoyed reading in the diary that the animal died. Not.

More delusion and vicious lashing out in this week's Dreary. In which I am desperately poor, ill and losing my home, but the only thing I want from my partner is an expensive ring from Cartier because I have absolutely no brain.

I kind of wish people like Liz could be forced to live in real poverty and squalor for a few years. Just to see if there is anything able to make them less selfish and stupid.

But he isn't her partner any more (if he ever was) and she broadcast all over the paper last week that they were finished, because he had stolen his cat back!

Presumably we haven't yet reached that point on here?

I don't know about anyone else, but she does my head in with the timescales used!

The dreary is a varying number of weeks behind the other stuff she writes, which seems to be written days before publication. So we should have the joy of catching up on the cat situation in 2 or 3 weeks or so.

I particularly like the fact the the drop in value of her house is all down to Ed Balls, according to today's far tickle, absolutely nothing to do with her reconfiguration, the dog wee scent and the half stripped walls not to mention the possibility the boiler might be missing.

Or even the fact that Ed Balls was a member of the Labour Government who lost power in 2010 when the Tories won the General Election. And was never Chancellor of the Exchequer anyway even though he was Shadow Chancellor after 2010. She bought Lawn House in 2011.

William Hague was the PM for Richmond N Yorks from 1989-2015 - so perhaps she should blame him (and everyone else). But she's probably not allowed to in the Wail

And I have no real friends, because they only wanted me for the (material) things I gave them. Friendship, eh? - but when she is given things herself, advice, company, helping looking after animals etc, these don't seem to be much appreciated - always something to complain about!

The Baker can't put a foot right, it seems. He was wrong to say he'd come and look after her, then still wrong to say he was too sick to drive. And as for the harrumphing over "oh I thought I'd told you" remark re the ex-email - as opposed to "what the hell were you doing looking at my emails anyway you crazy controlling bitch" - and the "wah why have you not come to my aid about what I said in my column today about something that happened several weeks ago"...

I do wonder if the Baker is entirely well. According to Liz he's forgetful and slowmoving, and these are crimes against her, not indications of age-related changes, which they seem a lot more likely to be. How old is he now? He must be closer to 70 than 60 yes?

I haven't commented on her Dreary entries or other articles for some considerable time because they were beyond parody.

The Dreary today was out of sequence as I was expecting to hear D. Scrace had given Prudence back to her rightful owner, Domino Darling. No doubt this sorry saga will be drawn out for weeks. I only hope the poor cat isn't too confused with all the changes of scene although no doubt she'll be getting proper cat food rather than a constant diet of M & S organic prawns.

I see from her other article in You Magazine that now she's blaming her genes for all her misfortunes. This makes a change from blaming everyone else other than herself. She has such a lack of self-awareness that she can't (or won't) see the present situation was brought about by her profligacy and not learning from previous mistakes.

I have taken citalopram for more than a decade. It's not "happy pills" you ignorant bitch. UGH I hate people who know nothing about it pontificating on mental health issues.

I don't know how I missed Liz's gigantic article about her genes. Now that I've read it all the usual suspects are being rounded up, to wit:

1) Can't live without morning espresso despite considering hot drinks a weakness;
2) Is a vegan but does not know the names of any vegetables;
3) Addicted to champagne despite being in the direst depths of poverty, PS no drinking problem to see here no no no;
4) Able to book hotels in case of "fits" despite being in the direst depths of poverty
5) Able to take pricey supplements rather than presumably subsidised and therefore cheaper antidepressant medications despite being in the direst depths of poverty