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Liz Jones - YOU magazine (Part 4)


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Old 09-07-2013, 18:41
sunstone
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Let us not forget the diamond stud earrings. Not quite in the same league as the plastic beads in LJ's gushingly grateful outlook on presents, but close.
My memory isn't that good about all the mish mash of lies.
Were these the ones that she returned to the store 'cause they were too pathetically small, yet in a later farticle she claimed had to have removed in A&E.?

( and apologies to Bellagio for my earlier error).
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Old 09-07-2013, 19:17
KorkyTheCat
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Jones is the perfect personification of Oscar Wilde's statement that she knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. I am prompted to post here as the woman has no poetry in her, nor soul, sentimentality, appreciation of the arts, a spiritual side, true love of nature, recognition that contentment comes from deriving pleasure from the simplest of things or indeed serendipity, empathy for others, aesthetic sense relating to anything, gratitude for good health, nor any finer feelings whatsoever. I also doubt that the boyfriend exists. A 99p pair of earrings chosen with consummate care and given with love is worth immeasurably more than any diamonds. Jones is too shallow even to begin to understand that.
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Old 09-07-2013, 19:56
fizzycat
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A 99p pair of earrings chosen with consummate care and given with love is worth immeasurably more than any diamonds. Jones is too shallow even to begin to understand that.
One of her problems is that no-one will ever take that sort of loving care over choosing a gift for her because all her family and non-existent friends know that nothing will please her.

One of my most treasured possessions is a pink plastic bangle, free with a Barbie magazine, that was given to me by a 3-year-old neighbour. It's hideous, to be honest, but when I was 3 I'd have died to have one like it. I know how much I must have meant to Ayesha for her to want to give it to me for my birthday. Lizzie will never know how fantastic that feels and for that (as well as a thousand other wrongnesses in her psyche) I truly pity her as much as I despise her.
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Old 09-07-2013, 20:51
Squatch
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Having been relentlessly bullied when I was young for being flat chested it is one of the things that gets my goat. I was held on the ground while the boys tried to find my breasts.I just don't effing believe her.

I mean in no way was it good to not have a bosom.


That's absolutely horrible. That's just criminal.

I agree, LJ banging on about her boobs just seems like passive boasting to me.
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Old 09-07-2013, 21:20
sunstone
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That's absolutely horrible. That's just criminal.

I agree, LJ banging on about her boobs just seems like passive boasting to me.
Aww well it was sort of par for the course in the 70s. It made me laugh(ish) recently that girls desire a gap between the thighs, ( as in skinny legs), back then I was mortified for being called names because my thighs didn't meet.( I was still innocent at the time). Jonesy is only a few years older than me but seems to have lived in a different time zone.
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Old 09-07-2013, 21:44
Squatch
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Unfortunately, "minor" sexual assaults are still par for the course today (and skinny girls are still bullied much more than fat ones). What I witnessed at school in 2002-07 has given me the firm belief that girls and boys should be educated separately... I'm veering wildly off topic now :P
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Old 09-07-2013, 23:30
lea_uk
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Has anyone seen any pictures of her with large breasts?
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Old 10-07-2013, 00:01
sunstone
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Has anyone seen any pictures of her with large breasts?
Not that I am aware of,although she clearly has breasts and is in no way anorexic in the scary picture that Bellagio posted earlier.
She is just a liar..
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Old 10-07-2013, 01:27
astor
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I do believe... yes, I really do believe I've found an example of this towering wit we're always being told about by her supporters. Probably best if you're sitting down because it's a corker, really it is.

Ready ? Here it comes...

"My parents got a bulldog, but it went into a mad frenzy in the garden and attacked Nick. He was put down (the bulldog, not Nick)..."

Oh, my sides... they are splitting. Such wit... such humour. It's just as well Noel Coward isn't with us any m
ore, or he'd certainly be shaking in his shoes.
Bless your little cotton socks Bellagio ! Loving your all your huge" wit and humour". Making me laugh till my sides split !""
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Old 10-07-2013, 06:58
Bellagio
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When you've finished wiping your eyes... care to comment on, say, her claiming to have witnessed a seal cull when the earlier version makes it plain she did no such thing but used the experience of someone else and claimed it for her own ? That's plagiarism. Theft, if you like. Whatever you care to call it, it breaks every rule of decent, responsible journalism. I'm sure they didn't teach that at LCP.
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Old 10-07-2013, 08:00
Bellagio
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Interesting - Jones claims she was given the steroid Progesterone for her anorexia, and that was what gave her massive hooters. Aside from the fact that it's not a steroid but a steroid hormone, these are the recognised side effects (emphasis mine):

headache
breast tenderness or pain
upset stomach
vomiting
diarrhea
constipation
tiredness
muscle, joint, or bone pain
mood swings
irritability
excessive worrying

runny nose
sneezing
cough
vaginal discharge
problems urinating

Some side effects can be serious. The following symptoms are uncommon, but if you experience any of them, call your doctor immediately:

breast lumps
migraine headache
severe dizziness or faintness
slow or difficult speech
weakness or numbness of an arm or leg
lack of coordination or loss of balance
shortness of breath
fast heartbeat
sharp chest pain
coughing up blood
leg swelling or pain
loss of vision or blurred vision
bulging eyes
double vision
unexpected vaginal bleeding
shaking hands that you cannot control
seizures
stomach pain or swelling
depression
hives
skin rash
itching
difficulty breathing or swallowing
swelling of the face, throat, tongue, lips, eyes, hands, feet, ankles, or lower legs
hoarseness

Nowhere do I see "sudden expansion of norks". You also have to wonder why she didn't go back to the hospital, wave them in the specialist's face and ask what the hell was going on. Unless, of course... it never happened.
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Old 10-07-2013, 08:11
GloriaMundi
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Then there is the 'anorexia since aged 11'. There are a several pictures of her as a teenager (ie before the 'steroids') in her latest book. In all of them she looks like a well-nourished young woman. With norks.
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Old 10-07-2013, 09:39
Bellagio
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Interview on Radio 4 today, she claims she didn't write about her breast reduction for 30 years. Given that she was 29 when she had it, that's one helluva trick !
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Old 10-07-2013, 10:45
Bellagio
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The latest Amazon review, by 'alexandracook', is quite interesting... mostly because it's composed of stuff I've posted here in the last few days. I'm flattered, of course, but I'd rather it was under my name, or at least credited.
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Old 10-07-2013, 12:21
sunstone
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The latest Amazon review, by 'alexandracook', is quite interesting... mostly because it's composed of stuff I've posted here in the last few days. I'm flattered, of course, but I'd rather it was under my name, or at least credited.
I just went and checked,that is spooky! Reading that I would have sworn it was you,looks like you have an admirer.
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Old 10-07-2013, 12:32
Bellagio
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If it's who I think it might be, 'admirer' isn't exactly the word...
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Old 10-07-2013, 13:12
Like A Star
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I am prompted to post here as the woman has no poetry in her, nor soul, sentimentality, appreciation of the arts, a spiritual side, true love of nature, recognition that contentment comes from deriving pleasure from the simplest of things or indeed serendipity, empathy for others, aesthetic sense relating to anything, gratitude for good health, nor any finer feelings whatsoever.
Yet she tries to convince everyone she is all of this, and so much better than the rest of us mere mortals are at it.

She tries to get people to think of her as this spiritual mother earth type of person when, like you say, she is the exact opposite.

Her ramblings have become so predictably boring there is not even any point-and-laugh value to them any more. Time for the Mail to find someone else to take over the mantel of resident troll as Jones has become so stale you can smell it.
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Old 10-07-2013, 13:15
sunstone
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I was unaware that she auditioned for RADA, just think if she had been accepted, she could be up there with Judi Dench as one of the countries best loved actresses.
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Old 10-07-2013, 14:01
Bellagio
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Possibly - although I wouldn't bank on it - the reception and performance of this book (currently something like #1400 in the Amazon book charts just six days after publication) will inform her that her notion of humourous writing doesn't coincide with that of anyone else. Mostly because she's plain not funny.
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Old 10-07-2013, 14:20
sunstone
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Possibly - although I wouldn't bank on it - the reception and performance of this book (currently something like #1400 in the Amazon book charts just six days after publication) will inform her that her notion of humourous writing doesn't coincide with that of anyone else. Mostly because she's plain not funny.
And there was me thinking she was the next David Nobbs..
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Old 10-07-2013, 16:39
Lilaeth
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And there was me thinking she was the next David Nobbs..
More likely to be the next liner in the cat's litter box!
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Old 10-07-2013, 18:55
KorkyTheCat
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Yet she tries to convince everyone she is all of this, and so much better than the rest of us mere mortals are at it. She tries to get people to think of her as this spiritual mother earth type of person when, like you say, she is the exact opposite.
She seems to be a total fantasist. She is paid to write in a 'baring her soul' (not that she really has one or knows what one is) manner and so presumably has to use her imagination to compile copy.
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Old 10-07-2013, 19:23
Like A Star
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She seems to be a total fantasist.
I agree. I am never sure if she is an all out troll or not but I think whatever she is, there's no doubt the label of fantasist can be included somewhere.

The woman makes my skin crawl. She's an utter embarrassment and a total disgrace to humanity.
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Old 10-07-2013, 20:10
cathrin
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Shall we play a quick round of Guess What Liz Will Do Next? Hmm. Well,let's see, she usually responds to criticism and negative feedback by cranking up the sympathy-seeking stories. So, since her book has been such a disaster, I'm guessing we can expect to see a whole spate of sick animals, dying animals, intrusive details about the illness and bereavement of family members, bleating about bad treatment from her sisters, rehashing of various poor-me stories including Stood Up On Milennium Eve, Neighbours Shot At My Letterbox, Cheating Ex Husband, and of course, let's not forget the financial hardship and massive debts, interspersed with details of expensive purchases.

Throw in some tales of past slights and upsets which will have dramatically increased in drama and grimness since the original telling, a few whinges about not getting a pony as a youngster, some passive-aggressive "poor me" stuff about buying her sister a cottage, and another truckload of sick animal tales to round the whole thing off. There! That will teach the book-buying (or in this case not buying) public to be so rotten and cruel and beastly!
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Old 11-07-2013, 09:54
Bellagio
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She's not trodden the Sapphic path yet, although there are a few hints in the book at a slightly unhealthy interest in some of her schoolmates, and Olga Korbut. And I have my own theories about the exact nature of her relationship with Nic...
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