Didn't she say once she only dry cleaned her bloomers? Oh to be as broke as Liz Jones. A cleaner, a gardner, a p,a./groom/dogsbody. As Mrs Merton would say, 'So Mr Scrace, what attracted you to the highest paid journalist in Britain, Liz Jones?'.

EWW, Sending your knickers to the cleaners is horrid! So they never see soap and water!

Does she have to wear the spare pair for a couple of days then while the other is hung up in the dry cleaners with a plastic bag over?

Think she will be advertising for a new cleaner for the cupboard after today;s insults.

and this

The other day, my cleaner broke my dishwasher. ‘Get the landlord to fix it,’ she said.
‘But he is a normal person, not Hackney Council. You broke it,’ I said. I might as well have been whistling in the (icy) wind.

Why would the dishwasher even need using? We know that Lizzie never eats. Apart from the occasional (vegan) boiled egg and soldiers.

Probably because Dscrace has been cooking for her. How can she tell the cleaner is responsible for breaking the dishwasher anyway? These things break. Actually, it's probably suffering from shock at being used for a change (see above about Dscrace cooking).

...And how about the FRS, who seems to have been conveniently written out and never referred to again! She seemed to forget all about him when she started writing the cringeworthy DS romance storyline....IIRC there was one point when she suddenly said "I have to tell the boyfriend" or something equally charming, and that was that. What a way to dispense with a character who had loomed so large over at least two years' worth of columns! Gone in a puff of smoke...almost as if he never existed at all.

On a separate note, does anyone else find it *really* odd that David has allegedly told her, twice now, that the relationship would be over if his business failed? What a strange thing to say! As for the comment about contacting her because he wanted publicity for his business....is that supposed to be a joke, or is it meant to be taken seriously? (...in which case: )

It's rather odd isn't it that the FRS who provided Jizz with three years of column fodder is never referred to, as if he never existed whilst violent squaddie Richard, Kevin the OBL lookalike, mad Trevor of the TCP aftershave and high-waisted trousers (whom Jiz provided in M&S ready meals whilst stealing his man paste) and especially freeloading Nirpal all get a fairly regular name check.

DiScrace is in it for a business arrangement, so of course he will hoof it if it doesn't give him good publicity, or rather, if it gives him adverse publicity.

The fake rock star demanded anonymity. LJ is well known for her respect of other people's privacy....ok maybe I stretch the truth there a tad.

There's a stunning scene towards the end of Gravity (see it, see it now and see it in 3D !!) where the Chinese space station drops out of orbit and re-enters the atmosphere, dissolving into a thousand flaming fragments as it does so.

Remind you of anything you've read of late ?

Oh dear, Liz. All this sanctimonious and grannyish preaching about frugality and elbow grease yet you own a dishwasher?!

Personally, I wouldn't dream of having a dishwasher. How frivolous/pampered/silly/wasteful!

Oh and it must be great fun being your cleaner, eh?

'YOU broke it, you have to pay me, pay pay pay!'

Yes - can't be all that into her eh if he'd drop her just like that?!

Sounds well bloody weird, maybe Jones made that one up as in her twisted view, that would make him a 'real man' or something. She is a very strange woman.

Oh who knows what's a 'joke' with her and what's not - most of her writings these days just seem like unchecked stream of consciousness meanderings, with no thought apparent of making sense to the reader.

Always remember, the overwhelming majority of the info re: the new setup comes from Jones, and is therefore exceedingly suspect.

And as for "his" business failing, as he's a mere 5% stakeholder (as stated in a previous post), he's more of a salaried employee than a director, even though he's listed as such.

However, he does have previous in the "business failing" department: he was a marketing director (in fact, the sole, founding director, and 50% or the total workforce) at Monographics Limited, from December 15th 1997 (the date the company was incorporated) to September 28 1999, when he resigned... coincidentally, the same day the company was finally dissolved.

And... Looks like WAGFree Foods isn't doing all that well. A first dissolution was listed on October 1st this year, however the compulsory strikeoff scheduled for October 26 was cancelled. Now, I know less about this business thing than I do about Plainsong and its development in 14th century Upper Silesia, but ti strikes me that 1) the company was in some trouble and 2) maybe there was a sudden cash injection. Cynical... moi ? Alternatively, maybe they didn't post their returns in time. (BTW, WAGFree Foods is a separate company from WAGFree Brixton, which was only incorporated August 29th this year, albeit with basically the same principals).

For irish forum readers Liz is on the Saturday night show now. Rte 1

If only RTE Player was available in the UK.

This week's Diary. In Which I Gush Until I Overflow

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/...kes-party.html

It'll end in tears.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/ar...ea-towels.html

Oh look, another dig at mothers :yawn:

Only this time she manages to slag off all women and all men as well - well done Liz

You'd think someone as loved up as she appears to be at the moment would be happy, but instead it's just the same old jealous round.

And this is repetition as I'm sure she's written about the log people before.


If any Romanians/Bulgarians did her a bad turn, you can bet she'd be running them down all over the place.

Liz Jones on The Saturday Night Show RTE

http://www.rte.ie/player/gb/show/10228632/

15 minute Interview starts at 32 mins in.......43.54 hilarious interaction

Same old, I am lip reading, I am anorexic, I am proud when I haven't eaten all day, I have no friends, my family made the Daily Mail remove the photo of my mother from the website they thought it intrusive, fashion industry hates me, Yasmin Le Bon on the cover of Vogue made me have a breast reduction, my husband (why does she never refer to him as ex-husband?) cheated on me, David is ok with me writing about him, but they all say that at first, Victoria Beckham has banned me from her shows, but if she let me in I would have given her a good review.

As for the irony; 'my job, I feel is to stop women ever having that switch go off in their brain that makes them think they are not good enough.......'

I dont come here often but when I do, I have to say that I am amazed to see this thread still active. Do you all sit around like trap door spiders just waiting and hoping for Ms Jones to say something you dont like?
Why can't you read her column in the spirit it is intended, to give you all something to complain about? If you fish didn't bite everytime she wrote something, she wouldn't have a column very much longer.
I wouldn't miss it but I bet you would.

Why does it bother you if we do? Perhaps some of us find it comforting to have a pantomime hate figure but don't have time for soap operas. Perhaps some of us have been directly affected by her actions and wish to protect others from her selfish behaviour. Perhaps some of us simply have nothing better to do. Perhaps some of us drop by here from time to time having read something of hers, just to check that we're not alone in finding it offensive. Myriad possibilities.

We don't need to wait and hope - it's pretty much guaranteed...

Are you one of those people who write ''If you don't like it, don't read it'' in the comments section week in, week out? :yawn:

Can't speak for the others but, personally, it stops me mugging pensioners, throttling kittens and pulling the wings off flies.

BIB: I really don't think that the opinions of maybe twenty people on a forum such as this will topple her - she seems to be doing a fine job of that all on her own, currently - but if we do wield such collective power, what say we all meet up at the entrance to Downing Street one day soon and topple the government with our newly-discovered influence ? I'm up for it.

Oh, and the spirit in which the Dreary is intended would seem to be covered neatly by the following phrase: "I despise everybody who isn't like me or Carrie Underwood". Be afraid, David Martin Scrace, be very afraid...

Unintentionally hysterical, The interviewer played her perfectly: "Liz I understand you have had a bit of work done on your face, it looks very smooth and shiny for someone in their 50s (pause) I can't tell If I've offended you as your face doesn't move..."

I wish someone would put that up on YouTube, as you can only see certain shows on the UK version of RTE Player, and the Saturday Night Show isn't one of them.

Brilliant, thanks Suky!

I particularly enjoyed the part where our Columnist of the Year 2012 used the phrase "susceptible of"