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Liz Jones - YOU magazine (Part 4)


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Old 12-12-2013, 17:30
fitnessqueen
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Not forgetting the obligatory ''Na-na-na-na-na''!
And "I'm telling on you"
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Old 12-12-2013, 17:36
Lucycon
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And "I'm telling on you"
...and ''My dad's bigger than your dad''.
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Old 13-12-2013, 13:53
Viridiana
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I also love how Liz's men always manage to text in such perfect, flowery olde-worlde language. Who even speaks this way, let alone texts?
Actually I do Know a man that expresses himself like this David, he's quite a nice chap, but he's also a compulsive liar and super unreliable. It's not that he's being malicious, and he actually believes what he says, but he just can help making it more than it is and when confronted with his lies he just disappears to reappear again in a couple of months with the same flowery language.
I think Liz will get a bit of a surprise from that that corner.

I do think it's a bit nasty to comment on his looks, though.
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Old 15-12-2013, 09:41
tabitha2
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"The one where the Daily Mail compare my chicken casserole recipe to, er, apartheid…" Liz is at it again, a badly written, illogical piece, but wonderful fight back from Jack Malone - must read http://agirlcalledjack.com/2013/12/1...-er-apartheid/
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Old 15-12-2013, 10:04
Lucycon
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I wasn’t going to write about this out of misplaced loyalty, and because he asked me not to, but I have just been told I have to write seven columns in five weeks because of ‘pulling forward for Christmas’, so pressure has, as usual, got the better of me.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/...-message-field
Seven columns in five weeks? Hardly going down t'pit for a 10 hour shift is it? So what does she do? Write about how the fictional Rock Star turned up out of the blue. And how strange that she could get Mini Puppy (surely it should be Mini Dog/Bitch by now? Bitch? How appropriate.) an animal who never responds to any command in the normal course of events to lick her jumper clean I don't know, quite apart from the fact it's positively double .
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Old 15-12-2013, 10:58
Badcat
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"The one where the Daily Mail compare my chicken casserole recipe to, er, apartheid…" Liz is at it again, a badly written, illogical piece, but wonderful fight back from Jack Malone - must read http://agirlcalledjack.com/2013/12/1...-er-apartheid/
Good on Jack! I've read Jack Malone's blog and she has always come across as someone who can actually write a blog, who has her head firmly on her shoulders and always puts her child first (and proves you don't have to spend a fortune on posh food to feed your family healthily).

Well done Liz, just another example of how you have no idea how the other half of us live, who can't afford to feed our cats organic, prawns (who I hope were raised in the wild with no worries or fears from being eaten by other live forms other than one of your cats), shoo our pets off expensive designers sofas (mine was second hand, £50!) and bemoan our woe's that we haven't been able to pop into that lovely salon to have our roots and eyebrows done/ hairy bits waxed, chin plucked and vegan massage face pack before our b/f turns up(think if the money you would save Liz if you home dyed, shaved your legs and plucked your own chin hairs, you could buy another posh buttery soft cashmere outfit! (not exactly vegan wear, is it Liz?!)

And the RSPB were worried about cuckoo numbers, Liz is proof there are plenty of cuckoos out there still
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Old 15-12-2013, 11:03
Badcat
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Seven columns in five weeks? Hardly going down t'pit for a 10 hour shift is it? So what does she do? Write about how the fictional Rock Star turned up out of the blue. And how strange that she could get Mini Puppy (surely it should be Mini Dog/Bitch by now? Bitch? How appropriate.) an animal who never responds to any command in the normal course of events to lick her jumper clean I don't know, quite apart from the fact it's positively double .
OMG! 7 columns in 5 weeks! Oh she must be working her bony fingers to the bone!! Poor poor Liz

And as an owner of many cats I've never got myself covered in cat food except once, when I was carrying their food in, tripped and went flat out on the floor lying on their said food. I didn't then go and look for a dog to clean me, I changed tops. Maybe posh people who write columns for the Daily Fail don't do that? Damn.. maybe it's the in thing at the moment, dropping cat food down your tops. I am SO not hip and with it these days *goes off to smear some felix as good as it looks down my top*
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Old 15-12-2013, 15:12
cathrin
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I always wonder, how does one pronounce "Ay?" This strange word gets used over and over again in Liz's stories, when she's quoting both herself and other people. Does she mean "Eh"? In which case, yet again we're back in Enid Blyton/Mr Chumley-Warner/Lady Bracknell?William Brown's crotchety Great-Aunt territory....when was the last time anyone actually said "Eh"?

Oh, and it's a Boots Advantage card, not Reward card. And does it honestly matter if till staff politely ask if you have one? Why does this loyalty card business keep being rehashed as a constant source of criticism? They're trying to give you free stuff. Is that so awful? It takes one second to smile and say "No"...does it really merit being complained about in print over and over again? Of course, when one has seven columns to fill....
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Old 15-12-2013, 15:26
Lucycon
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I always wonder, how does one pronounce "Ay?" This strange word gets used over and over again in Liz's stories, when she's quoting both herself and other people. Does she mean "Eh"? In which case, yet again we're back in Enid Blyton/Mr Chumley-Warner/Lady Bracknell?William Brown's crotchety Great-Aunt territory....when was the last time anyone actually said "Eh"?

Oh, and it's a Boots Advantage card, not Reward card. And does it honestly matter if till staff politely ask if you have one? Why does this loyalty card business keep being rehashed as a constant source of criticism? They're trying to give you free stuff. Is that so awful? It takes one second to smile and say "No"...does it really merit being complained about in print over and over again? Of course, when one has seven columns to fill....
I think it's just her weird way of saying ''Eh?''. In which case, her mother should have told her it's rude to say it. As my mother used to say ''Eh? 'Ay's (hay's) donkey meat''.

She goes on about Boots Advantage cards all the time, usually in connection with the story about her 8 quid a time Rembrandt toothpaste. When she got to the checkout in Boots the assistant told her that that there was a two for the price of one offer on, and Liz couldn't be arsed to go and get another tube. She points this out as being unhelpful and rude. Twit.
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Old 15-12-2013, 16:13
fitnessqueen
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I always wonder, how does one pronounce "Ay?" This strange word gets used over and over again in Liz's stories, when she's quoting both herself and other people. Does she mean "Eh"? In which case, yet again we're back in Enid Blyton/Mr Chumley-Warner/Lady Bracknell?William Brown's crotchety Great-Aunt territory....when was the last time anyone actually said "Eh"?

Oh, and it's a Boots Advantage card, not Reward card. And does it honestly matter if till staff politely ask if you have one? Why does this loyalty card business keep being rehashed as a constant source of criticism? They're trying to give you free stuff. Is that so awful? It takes one second to smile and say "No"...does it really merit being complained about in print over and over again? Of course, when one has seven columns to fill....
I'm not surprised the bus driver ignored her - can you imagine the shock of stopping at the lights and having some moon faced, droopy eared, witchy haired mad woman banging on the bus door....
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Old 15-12-2013, 18:11
Mr Curmudgeon
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Is there actually anyone adopting an editorial position at the DM these days ?

"The issue that worries me is this: why people who are suffering have no empathy for others who are also suffering, but in a slightly different way. So, poor people, while thinking, ‘My God, I feel cold, I’m hungry’, do not necessarily spare a thought for those who are even less fortunate."

The article can't even be called a stream of consciousness... it's complete and utter unadulterated drivel. Surely it must have been written whilst she was under the influence of something... other than just her own insanity.
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Old 16-12-2013, 06:01
Molly Bloom
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Got a giggle out of her "article" offering present buying advice for Christmas, which included things like a £180 iPad case and £300 clutch bags. The woman really is not from this planet, but tell us something new.
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Old 16-12-2013, 06:53
jeff_vader
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Is there actually anyone adopting an editorial position at the DM these days ?

"The issue that worries me is this: why people who are suffering have no empathy for others who are also suffering, but in a slightly different way. So, poor people, while thinking, ‘My God, I feel cold, I’m hungry’, do not necessarily spare a thought for those who are even less fortunate."

The article can't even be called a stream of consciousness... it's complete and utter unadulterated drivel. Surely it must have been written whilst she was under the influence of something... other than just her own insanity.
They've been publishing her unedited ramblings for quite a while now. At least I'm assuming no-one's subbing them .
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Old 16-12-2013, 07:49
Lucycon
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I'm not surprised the bus driver ignored her - can you imagine the shock of stopping at the lights and having some moon faced, droopy eared, witchy haired mad woman banging on the bus door....
Ay?

That'd be 'midnight storm haired' (Courtesy D.Scrace- what were his parents thinking?) to you FQ!
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Old 16-12-2013, 09:18
Lucycon
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I have already bought my boyfriend an iPad Air and an N Peal cashmere cardigan in French Navy.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...-fussy-me.html
Well that's anything between £750 and £1500 down the swanny. Not bad going for 'broke' Liz. *rolleyes*

'Stocking fillers' for 40 quid? She must be getting a pay-off from Daylesford Organics for the constant plugging of Bamford bath oils.
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Old 16-12-2013, 13:50
Fatsia
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She's basically just published her wish list to Santa. If she thinks those of us with teens are spending that kind of cash on them she's even more deluded than I thought. Self-medicating again, Liz? *sniff*
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Old 16-12-2013, 21:41
Seabird
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This is where D'Scrace finds out what he's really let himself in for. Hanky panky is at least free (usually), so that's kept Liz happy so far, but, but for Xmas Liz is going to want something more substantial in her stocking. As with Nirps's diamond earrings, size does matter to Liz and of course, it's all about the price tag and designer label too. As D'Scrace is a very junior partner in a modest niche bakery I doubt if he's got the dough (sorry) to buy anything on Liz's very public wish list and thus will be publicly humiliated in the Diary for his lack of taste and lack of funds unless she buys everything herself to keep up appearances.
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Old 17-12-2013, 09:50
Bellagio
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[oops...]

Last edited by Bellagio : 17-12-2013 at 09:57. Reason: Software failure combined with brain fart
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Old 17-12-2013, 09:55
Bellagio
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Is there actually anyone adopting an editorial position at the DM these days ?

"The issue that worries me is this: why people who are suffering have no empathy for others who are also suffering, but in a slightly different way. So, poor people, while thinking, ‘My God, I feel cold, I’m hungry’, do not necessarily spare a thought for those who are even less fortunate."

The article can't even be called a stream of consciousness... it's complete and utter unadulterated drivel. Surely it must have been written whilst she was under the influence of something... other than just her own insanity.
It's a stream of something, and a sorry one at that.
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Old 17-12-2013, 10:07
Molly Bloom
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I've been catching up with the Dreary and if even one reader honestly thinks any man actually speaks like Liz wants us to believe FRS and David both do, they are beyond help.
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Old 17-12-2013, 10:11
Lucycon
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I've been catching up with the Dreary and if even one reader honestly thinks any man actually speaks like Liz wants us to believe FRS and David both do, they are beyond help.
According to Liz's little (very little) coterie of fans they have men who speak and write like that.

All I can think is that they must have some very odd husbands and boyfriends. Strange too, that D.Scrace speaks and texts in exactly the same way as the FRS.
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Old 17-12-2013, 22:33
Molly Bloom
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According to Liz's little (very little) coterie of fans they have men who speak and write like that.
Ahahaha. What a load of bullshit. They are as batty as their idol. Providing these fans are indeed real people, that is.
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Old 22-12-2013, 10:26
Bellagio
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Latest Dreary: um.

That's all - just... um.

There's another piece which, frankly, isn't a lot better, where she rehashes the seal cull tale once more and as has become traditional, there's a further bit of embroidery: this time, she was "a human shield" and she wasn't allowed to go closer than 100 feet. Odd, because in the 2008 version, she wasn't permitted to eb closer than 400 yards, or 1200 feet.
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Old 29-12-2013, 10:42
Zimzammam
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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar....html#comments

Pity this poor chap, but then again, he must be aware of what he is taking on!! Who was the rock star then?? Did we ever find out?
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Old 29-12-2013, 13:45
fitnessqueen
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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar....html#comments

Pity this poor chap, but then again, he must be aware of what he is taking on!! Who was the rock star then?? Did we ever find out?
Well being that Jim Kerr's lawyers sent her a cease and desist letter I think she's back to hinting that it was him again. But we'll never find out as he never existed.
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