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Liz Jones - YOU magazine (Part 4)


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Old 27-07-2014, 02:08
Suzy_Cat
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Also: where is the Cupboard all of a sudden - last time she was working between London and Somerset she had to live in hotels?

GIven that Liz is no longer bankrupt this week, what is stopping her oh I don't know FINDING AN EFFING BEDSIT if it comes to that? Everyone else in London manages to find a place to live. Sure, it's expensive but a cheaper one would not be expensive for her. Only for a normal person.

Also also: surely brown bread icecream would be a bit of a problem for a person with coeliacs disease, even if it HAS been cured by French baguettes and the Lizard's love?
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Old 27-07-2014, 07:23
Bellagio
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It's been a while since I've read any Enid Blyton books - roughly 53 years - but I distinctly recall them being superior in style, content and above all grammar.

That sound you hear, like pixies being crushed by unicorns hooves ? My brain cells popping as I read it, and at my advanced age I need every last one.
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Old 27-07-2014, 10:45
Wynne_Evans
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So back to the same old inane cr*p then?
He can't remember who gave him an ice-cream thirty odd years ago. The cad, the complete and utter b*****d!!!
And she's getting up at 5 to write a novel that she can't write because of serious money worries.
What a complete load of you-know- what.
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Old 27-07-2014, 13:02
Suzy_Cat
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Serious question: why doesn't she move the dirty baker into the Cupboard? Why would she have to move in to his existing place? (OK she can presumably no longer afford said Cupboard and he doesn't earn enough to contribute enough rent to make it workable. But where I come from, grownups with means will often seek out a NEW PLACE TOGETHER that suits their budget.)
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Old 27-07-2014, 14:31
newbaby
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Serious question: why doesn't she move the dirty baker into the Cupboard? Why would she have to move in to his existing place? (OK she can presumably no longer afford said Cupboard and he doesn't earn enough to contribute enough rent to make it workable. But where I come from, grownups with means will often seek out a NEW PLACE TOGETHER that suits their budget.)
Well, that's what sensible people do. And possibly they live happily ever after, making the best of what they've got. Even, perhaps, rejoicing in being together.

However, that would spoil the fodder which feeds the column inches of (self-induced, and probably fabricated) angst in the so-called Diary.
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Old 27-07-2014, 18:56
nitenurse
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Sensible and Liz Jones?

Seriously?
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Old 27-07-2014, 21:30
puffin1962
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I think she wrote in one of the Drearies that the cupboard was a rental

One of the things that she has never explained in the Dreary is why she no longer writes for DM (remember all those "fashion" articles) - but now it's just MOS. Was she sacked? Is this the source of her bankrupcy (she has alluded to loosing her income) Or did she quit believing that mutliple exciting offers would come her way after BB?. Given that her output is so sm,all now the Dreary plus some rant for MOS - does she even need a London place? she could easily work from home and look after her own animals

ps - note that the dreary is not posting comments - too many pointing out the contradictions between last week's bankrupy and this week's spending?
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Old 27-07-2014, 21:45
Bellagio
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From one of her MoS farticles today:

"Being formerly in the fashion business..."

Maybe being dumped by the Wail was the spur to write a novel although. given the complete flop that was her last book, I cannot believe anyone has actually offered her a contract to write one.
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Old 28-07-2014, 02:40
Suzy_Cat
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I think she wrote in one of the Drearies that the cupboard was a rental

One of the things that she has never explained in the Dreary is why she no longer writes for DM (remember all those "fashion" articles) - but now it's just MOS. Was she sacked? Is this the source of her bankruptcy (she has alluded to loosing her income) Or did she quit believing that mutliple exciting offers would come her way after BB?. Given that her output is so sm,all now the Dreary plus some rant for MOS - does she even need a London place? she could easily work from home and look after her own animals

ps - note that the dreary is not posting comments - too many pointing out the contradictions between last week's bankrupy and this week's spending?
I can't imagine I was the only one who posted "I thought you were bankrupt last week" on that column.

She could work from her palatial northern country home and the dirty baker could drive up on weekends. EASY. Given that ALL she does is write this dreary, the novel and the occasional opinion piece that can be, and almost certainly has been, researched on Google.
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Old 28-07-2014, 06:20
newbaby
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From one of her MoS farticles today:

"Being formerly in the fashion business..."

Maybe being dumped by the Wail was the spur to write a novel although. given the complete flop that was her last book, I cannot believe anyone has actually offered her a contract to write one.
It always struck me as very odd that she "did" fashion in the DM, bearing in mind the number of fashion houses who were less than enthusiastic (banned, in some cases) about her presence at shows during Fashion Weeks hither and thither. So her comments, laced with arsenic, were based on press release photographs.
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Old 28-07-2014, 07:06
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I knew she would mention it, but still I cannot believe how disgustingly crass she is to link a trivial article about female grooming for the beach to the devastation of MH17:

"The world is simply too small for a carefree holiday. The downing of Malaysia Airlines' flight MH17 over Ukraine is proof there is no such thing as a vacation. We can no longer fiddle while Rome burns."

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/ar...JONES-Oh-real-
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Old 28-07-2014, 09:03
amikolaichek
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From one of her MoS farticles today:

"Being formerly in the fashion business..."

Maybe being dumped by the Wail was the spur to write a novel although. given the complete flop that was her last book, I cannot believe anyone has actually offered her a contract to write one.
One of her last fashion articles for the DM was this:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...erwhelmed.html

If I were the M & S Board I'd have gone bloody bonkers - she made all the clothes look absolutely horrible. So I wonder if M & S threw their toys out of the pram, threatened to withdraw advertising? And Lizard lost her job?
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Old 28-07-2014, 09:19
cathrin
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I was about to post the same thing as Seabird re the MoS article . The reference to flight MH17 shows she hasn't lost her knack of crassly linking some terrible tragedy with whatever ridiculous and trivial point she's trying to make. (See also: brutal murder/suspension bridge toll, doctor's receptionist argument/care home abuse, online criticism likened to "avoiding potshots behind a metaphorical locked loo door" in the week when that poor girl in South Africa lost her life.) It's as if she writes a rant, then thinks "Hmm, how can I make this sound relevant and current? I know, I'll crowbar in an insensitive reference comparing my latest whinge to whatever horrible tragedy is in the news this week!")

It's interesting to see that the comments on this article are almost entirely critical....apart from one post praising Liz to the skies, from a poster whose name and location changes rather hilariously during the course of their post (it's well worth a look; it's absolutely priceless, as is the response below it!)

...And how about this line in the diary: "Back at the flat, I had a bath and told him he could apply lotion to my feet." Brrrr! Just how much more humiliating can her account of this relationship get?!
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Old 28-07-2014, 09:59
newbaby
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I was about to post the same thing as Seabird re the MoS article . The reference to flight MH17 shows she hasn't lost her knack of crassly linking some terrible tragedy with whatever ridiculous and trivial point she's trying to make. (See also: brutal murder/suspension bridge toll, doctor's receptionist argument/care home abuse, online criticism likened to "avoiding potshots behind a metaphorical locked loo door" in the week when that poor girl in South Africa lost her life.) It's as if she writes a rant, then thinks "Hmm, how can I make this sound relevant and current? I know, I'll crowbar in an insensitive reference comparing my latest whinge to whatever horrible tragedy is in the news this week!")

Gobsmackingly, breathtakingly and headshakingly astounding that anybody can stoop so low as to draw parallels with a dreadful tragedy and their own "problems". But it's Ms Jones, who clearly doesn't know the meaning of sensitivity.

It's interesting to see that the comments on this article are almost entirely critical....apart from one post praising Liz to the skies, from a poster whose name and location changes rather hilariously during the course of their post (it's well worth a look; it's absolutely priceless, as is the response below it!)

BIB Delved into the comments. Hysterical. Cheered me up no end.

...And how about this line in the diary: "Back at the flat, I had a bath and told him he could apply lotion to my feet." Brrrr! Just how much more humiliating can her account of this relationship get?!
Extraordinary.
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Old 28-07-2014, 15:02
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Afternoon all. I've been a bit quiet recently as there seeems to be so little to say about Jonesey's output of late. Pathetically contradictory, barely readable, appallingly written claptrap that it has been. I wholeheartedly agree with Cathrin about her childish attempts to show 'relevance'. The dog thing on Sunday was really, really strange from the off... that first para will live on in my nightmares!

DD mentioned that Dscrace is happy to be pilloried as it's 'only entertainment' and at least he's got a new suit to add to his booty. Jonesey has evidently been warned off slagging of the exes (except the dead one who is allowed to remain untainted - for now).

The 'cupboard' in the Ziggurat building is a company let. I imagine she has been offered the chance to keep it on but they'll take 100k off her salary. I imagine that vanity will triumph and she'll hang on to it... it's a taxable perk, of course, so I hope HMRC have been kept informed.

As to her 'novel'... one can only surmise that she promised Simon & Schuster their money back after the misery memoir bombed so spectacularly (#93,909 in the sales lists today!) but I suspect a novel will be completely beyond her. She has neither the talent nor the life experience to come up with something half readable. I bet you a shiny shilling it will be based around fashion or journalism (or both! Imagine!) and will be jam-packed with transparent stereotypes that she will, so cleverly, put in as 'in' jokes (See! There's Caitlin! And Julie! And India!!). It will be as drab and lifeless as her stupid witchy hair and have all the appeal of her feral dog's squirty bot bot.

Last throw of the dice, I reckon, then put out to pasture. Ten years too late, IMHO, but you can't have everything, eh?
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Old 28-07-2014, 15:11
amikolaichek
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I can't get out of my mind thinking about her pristine sofas and squirty bot-bot dog ... And on the subject of bot-bots, is the Baker still in the habit of roaming around the place naked, sitting on the soft furnishings ...?
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Old 28-07-2014, 16:05
Seabird
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I wonder if the Burberry suit was purchased in anticipation of a proposal? Can't have him choosing his own clothes can we (as someone on the Diary comments points out, only mothers buy suits for men unasked). Totally ridiculous, but IF he had proposed then surely OK and Hello would pay the gruesome twosome a flippin' fortune for the rights to cover the love story of the century and Mr Taxman will have cheque in the post with a bit extra included for a fish supper at Mrs Miggin's Fish Supper Shop. I think she wants to get married to him in the full knowledge that it won't last past the first anniversary but it will give her something to write about until the end of time. Nothing bad can ever happen to a writer they say, but what about a master baker?
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Old 29-07-2014, 02:56
Suzy_Cat
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I still can't believe she said they didn't have his teeny tiny size in Savile Row. I know what bespoke means and I'm not even a former fashion editor. How humiliating for Liz.
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Old 31-07-2014, 14:43
mivvykins
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In this article this week in the Daily Mail about renting a dog for a day, at the bottom she lists her own pooches, but no Michael the sheep killing collie.

Where is Michael? I thought he went everywhere with Jones?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...-together.html
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Old 01-08-2014, 19:29
amikolaichek
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In this article this week in the Daily Mail about renting a dog for a day, at the bottom she lists her own pooches, but no Michael the sheep killing collie.

Where is Michael? I thought he went everywhere with Jones?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...-together.html
Blimey, you're right, mivvykins. WHAT'S HAPPENED TO MICHAEL? Have his sheep-worrying habits finally got him sent to doggy heaven, courtesy of a irate farmer's 12 bore? I think we should be told.

Meanwhile, is the Lizard still spitefully holding on to poor Prudence?
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Old 02-08-2014, 00:21
nitenurse
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Her Collie husband is MIA?????

Maybe he sided with Nirps and the Rock Star and was given the shoe boot?
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Old 02-08-2014, 07:29
Suzy_Cat
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How can Liz accomplish ANYTHING? He is her HEARING DOG. Trapped in a world of complete silence!

Perhaps the Baker has taken up that role, complete with licking her feet.
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Old 03-08-2014, 16:25
Bellagio
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Today's Dreary... does she really think we're that stupid ? Can't go to France because she's run out of holiday ? She's bloody SELF-EMPLOYED !!!

That is all.
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Old 03-08-2014, 18:00
amikolaichek
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Today's Dreary... does she really think we're that stupid ? Can't go to France because she's run out of holiday ? She's bloody SELF-EMPLOYED !!!

That is all.
Yup - this week's 'Dreary' lived down to her usual low standards.
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Old 03-08-2014, 18:10
Wynne_Evans
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I'm no expert ( thank goodness), but do bankruptcy courts sit on a Saturday?
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