[benbenalen]

I have to do a speaking and listening shit about this tomorrow!

I am against it, some of the things I have is,

Age Difference
Dangerous,

Anymore?

Could you just give me the bad points,

If not why not?
bullet points are welcome!

[and101]

Why is it dangerous?

[Girth]

Originally Posted by benbenalen

a speaking and listening shit

Is that where you talk to someone in the next cubicle?

[Phil S]

I'd have to weigh the bloke up but if all OK then Yes.

IMO that amount of age difference is insignificant, it's what the person is like which is more important.

[Aneechik]

I probably wouldn't like it, but at 17 you'd have to accept it. I also can't see what is dangerous about it.

[ladymoanalot]

I dated a 24 year old at 17.

The only concerns my folks had were that his car was a right heap of crap and potentially unsafe.

[Freeman000]

Daughter, no?

Son, yes.

[BastardBeaver]

I would make sure I got to know the person for me to feel ok about it.

I'd be inviting them round for tea every night, and giving them 'the look'!

[benbenalen]

Originally Posted by Freeman000

Daughter, no?

Son, yes.

Why is that?

[Rorschach]

Originally Posted by Freeman000

Daughter, no?

Son, yes.

You'd be happy to let your son date a 24 year old man then?

[LykkieLi]

Originally Posted by benbenalen

I have to do a speaking and listening shit about this tomorrow!

I am against it, some of the things I have is,

Age Difference
Dangerous,

Anymore?

Could you just give me the bad points,

If not why not?
bullet points are welcome!

No

• 7 years is a big gap when you're younger
• I'd wonder about his emotional maturity

[Bex_123]

I dated someone in their late 30s at 19, which is a larger age gap and so no, I'm going to say it wouldn't be an issue.

Obviously it depends exactly what your problem is with the guy? If your only issue is his age then no I would not call that a good enough reason.


Plus I don't know about anyone else, but at 17 it was not really up to my parents to "let" me do anything!

[Freeman000]

Originally Posted by benbenalen

Why is that?

Because girls aren't the same as boys, and the relationship between a girl and an older man is not the same as the relationship between a boy and an older woman. The former is predatory, while the latter is hot.

Originally Posted by Rorschach

You'd be happy to let your son date a 24 year old man then?

Sure, if he wanted to date a man, he should date a man. Whatever gets his rocks off.

[Elanor]

I wouldn't dismiss it out of hand. It would depend on my daughter's maturity and on what I thought of the man. I would be wary I think. But at 17 I don't think there would be any question about me 'allowing' a relationship or not, at that age you can't stop people doing what they're determined to do. All I'd be able to do is be supportive.

[Bex_123]

Originally Posted by Freeman000

Because girls aren't the same as boys, and the relationship between a girl and an older man is not the same as the relationship between a boy and an older woman. The former is predatory, while the latter is hot.

Oh Freeman... You are such a wind up.

[ladymoanalot]

Originally Posted by Bex_123

I dated someone in their late 30s at 19, which is a larger age gap and so no, I'm going to say it wouldn't be an issue.

Obviously it depends exactly what your problem is with the guy? If your only issue is his age then no I would not call that a good enough reason.


Plus I don't know about anyone else, but at 17 it was not really up to my parents to "let" me do anything!

Within reason I guess but they can make it difficult for you.

If mine did not like a boy, they would ban him from their house. That was difficult trying to explain to the chap why they could never come round.

Saying that though my folks were always spot on!

[johnny_t]

Generally speaking, with a large age-gap and one of the participants still being a child, you do have to wonder if there isn't something a bit wrong with the older person that they can't make relationships with other adults....

Having said that, 24 and 17 is close enough to still be in the acceptable zone. If he was 30 then I'd definitely have suspicions.

[Lizzy11268]

Yeah I had zero control over who my daughter dated when she was 17.

I'd be more concerned with the type of bloke he was than his age though.

[garyessex]

It depends on their emotional maturity. You can't pigeon hole every 17 or 24 year old to one type.

ie: A 17 year old girl living independently in a flat with a full time job would be very different to a 17 year old girl with a reading age of 12 and a history of abuse for instance

Same with a 24 year old man. We have one at work who is 24 a manager with his own house and child, and another 1 month older who refuses to work more than 16hrs a week and spends all his cash on alcohol and still lives at home

[LykkieLi]

Originally Posted by Bex_123

Oh Freeman... You are such a wind up.

He has made a valid point.

[!!11oneone]

When I was 24, I met a 17 year old girl and we started dating. We dated on and off for several years, always remaining incredibly close friends.

When I was 31 and she was about to turn 24, we got married.

[MidnightFalcon]

I'd have to judge this on an individual basis. How mature is the daughter? What sort of person is the Boyfriend?
The best way to get most teenagers to do something is to forbid it without a good reason.

[wonkeydonkey]

Originally Posted by BastardBeaver

I would make sure I got to know the person for me to feel ok about it.

I'd be inviting them round for tea every night, and giving them 'the look'!

I think it is very wise, if you are uneasy about a child's date, to include them in the bosom of the family as far as you can. If you get on, your mind will be put at rest; if you don't get on, assuming that your child is quite fond of you, they can't help seeing him partly through your eyes and wondering why he isn't coming across better.

I am not clear whether the OP has to do this as a debating exercise? In which case, disadvantages might be:

1. A man dating a much younger girl (and a seven year age difference is huge when you are 17) is very unlikely to want to hang out with her friends; she is much more likely to find herself absorbed into his life than the other way round, and may get quite lonely.

2. He is much more likely to have a history of broken relationships than she is, which means that his attitude to a new romance is likely to be different. She won't yet have the skills to deal with what may be a serious ex in the vicinity, perhaps still sorting out a complicated split.

3. He is very likely to see himself as the leading partner in the relationship, simply because of his greater age and experience; this can lead to her becoming fixed in a little girl role that might disagreeably outlast its welcome.

4. A man wanting to date a girl a whole dating generation younger than himself may be the kind of person who is only comfortable if he is never challenged, which is not a very likeable trait imo.

[RegTheHedge]

Originally Posted by Bex_123

I dated someone in their late 30s at 19, which is a larger age gap and so no, I'm going to say it wouldn't be an issue.


Plus I don't know about anyone else, but at 17 it was not really up to my parents to "let" me do anything!

Apart from kick you out the house .

So does the now 40 something still have a teenage fetish ?

[WinterLily]

I did what I wanted when I was 17!