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DS LGBT members thread (Part 9) |
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#3001 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Purgatorium
Posts: 17,627
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I found a magnificent performance btw:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_LVaHHNcP4 Don't judge me for being a little turned on by it
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#3002 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Purgatorium
Posts: 17,627
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Quote:
I know what you mean. I'm not out at home, I'm not even out amongst friends. Even though I think some suspect, and even though I think they'll be fine if I told them, I'm still not really ready to. To be honest, I don't know if I ever will, I honestly can't see myself ever telling them. This is pretty much the only place I talk about it.
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#3003 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,285
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Quote:
Do you think you would be happier if they knew?
That's a lot of reallys
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#3004 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Purgatorium
Posts: 17,627
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Quote:
I don't know, really. I've just never really felt like it was something they need to know. I've always been fairly private anyway, and I don't really plan on having a very close relationship with my parents in the future, so they don't really need to know much about me. Plus, it doesn't really play a big enough part in my life to be important news, so it's like 'why tell them?'.
That's a lot of reallys ![]() Although I did get a kick out of telling my dad that my ex boyfriend proposed to me and I was going to plan a big wedding lol |
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#3005 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,285
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Quote:
I completely understand what you mean, even now that my parents know about my sexuality, I wouldn't feel obliged to tell them about any relationships I have.
Although I did get a kick out of telling my dad that my ex boyfriend proposed to me and I was going to plan a big wedding lol ![]() ![]() ![]() I just feel like my life is my business, and until something directly impacts on them, they don't need to know *shrugs* |
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#3006 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Blaine Anderson's locker
Posts: 6,298
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I think I've stated before that I'm only really out on here, although I get the feeling some of my co-workers have drawn their own conclusions.
I just wonder if I will meet anyone as not being one for nightclubbing it makes any prospects non-existant. (You may recall my consideration for dating sites not so long ago). |
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#3007 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 902
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Quote:
I think I've stated before that I'm only really out on here, although I get the feeling some of my co-workers have drawn their own conclusions.
I just wonder if I will meet anyone as not being one for nightclubbing it makes any prospects non-existant. (You may recall my consideration for dating sites not so long ago). Try not to get too disheartened!
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#3008 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: London
Posts: 20,218
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Yeah but dirty tops normally like clean, pretty surfer boys to f**k don't they?
![]() Quote:
Sigh, 21, Male, student lives in Sussex and studies in the north east. PM me for my phone number, I don't bite (unless asked), etc etc... ![]() Seriously though, I've just been following this thread for a while and I like how you guys are so open about talking about anything really. It's just that I've been brought up by parents who are - you know - uhm... yeah basically I haven't come out properly, but friends and family have started to cotton on over the years, even though I'm not camp at all. Anyway I'm slowly growing confidence to be more open but I'm sort of happy to continue leaving people in the dark for the time being...if that makes any sense. Personally, I tell too many people, but when the old dears are asking me why a nice young man isn't married, I find it easier to just be like, well the nice young man likes a bit of the other. Of course, I don't phrase it like that. I'm also very quick to slap down anyone who uses homophobic language, or says stupid shit like, "EWWW those shoes are gay." To be fair, I can't exactly hide it anyway, once I feel comfortable, I'm your typical scene queen... Quote:
Hey Jasper! I'm from the North East too and I'm the same age as you. Do you go to a university up here?
I'm sort of in the same boat as you, some of my friends know I'm gay but my parents and my family don't know. I can't bring myself to tell them which is really daft. Quote:
Tell me about it, it's amazing how people's attitudes change as they start to realise. It made me feel guilty originally because I just wanted to be normal, like the rest of my family and friends, but meh - that's genetics for you
![]() And sort of. I find it's hard cos I'm not a big fan on the gay scene, homosexual guys at uni are too camp for my liking,which leaves what? Dating sites, which I've tried to avoid, but ended up signing up to a couple and started chatting to a few people. I warn you now not to start probing - my life to date is kind of like a riddle wrapped in a mystery wrapped in an enigma (wrapped in a blanket as it's so damn cold...!) At uni you'll find that people are finally free to be themselves, so they'll come screaming out of the closet, and they won't suppress anything, give them some time and they'll mellow out. There are groups like out anywhere, which might be handy if you're not into whole scene thing.. Quote:
I thought Sussex was a small city in the South of England
![]() I'm a short drive away from Sussex, depending on the traffic (I rely on the M25..) Quote:
I know what you mean. I'm not out at home, I'm not even out amongst friends. Even though I think some suspect, and even though I think they'll be fine if I told them, I'm still not really ready to. To be honest, I don't know if I ever will, I honestly can't see myself ever telling them. This is pretty much the only place I talk about it.
I'm an open book, I'll tell anyone anything, to be honest, I tend to just say whatever's on my mind at the time, which sometimes gets me into trouble. I had a customer ask me for help, and I was like, I'll help you any time you like hunni, and he freaked out a bit ![]() .I'd thought that I'd just thought that in my head, turns out I said it out loud! Quote:
Totally. I never really cared about what my family thought, but my friends (not really good ones at the time, but friends nonetheless) thought of me, one of whom was from a devout christian background and he thought the idea of homosexuality was just disgusting, so that never helped.
I'm quite camp myself, at least the way I behave would be considered camp, however I don't enjoy certain things seen as camp such as musicals, Beyonce etc. And I have very few gay friends, I think it's because I don't share similar interests to some and then with the ultra butch types they just see me as a horrible stereotype and look down on me, which pisses me off because it's not as if a lot of us act camp, we just are that way. Jasper... are you a big slag? My wardrobe is quite...bold, I own a pair of bright pink jeans for example, and I'm not exactly great at hiding it...I've been abused in the streets a few times for 'looking like a fag,' but I just shout back these days. Quote:
I don't know, really. I've just never really felt like it was something they need to know. I've always been fairly private anyway, and I don't really plan on having a very close relationship with my parents in the future, so they don't really need to know much about me. Plus, it doesn't really play a big enough part in my life to be necessary news to share, so it's like 'why tell them?'.
That's a lot of reallys ![]() Quote:
I completely understand what you mean, even now that my parents know about my sexuality, I wouldn't feel obliged to tell them about any relationships I have.
Although I did get a kick out of telling my dad that my ex boyfriend proposed to me and I was going to plan a big wedding lol .I can totally talk to my mum about anything, but my dad, geez, I'd feel so uncomfortable talking to him about this stuff. His reaction to my mum confronting me over my sexuality, and me confirming I was gay, was to say, "Oh, so we could have called you Jasmine after all? (I was unplanned, and they wanted a girl)" Quote:
I think I've stated before that I'm only really out on here, although I get the feeling some of my co-workers have drawn their own conclusions.
I just wonder if I will meet anyone as not being one for nightclubbing it makes any prospects non-existant. (You may recall my consideration for dating sites not so long ago). Have you ever considered something like out anywhere? They're groups of guys you're age, who just meet up every so often and do stuff like hiking, or mountain climbing, or go bowling, or all sorts of things! Quote:
Don't worry too much about not being able to meet anyone just for the fact you're not into clubbing (or even the scene for that matter) Wiggy. To be honest, most of the guys on the scene are just looking for a quick shag anyway and not actually people you'd really wanna be in a relationship with. When you're ready and feel comfortable to be out there finding guys to date and be in a relationship with, I'm sure you'll find that there are opportunities available to meet them
Try not to get too disheartened!Hey btw, haven't seen you in ages, how's things? Still at the same law firm thingy? |
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#3009 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,285
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Quote:
I'd written out a long response to this, but then I read it back, and it was a bit out of order, but I will say this, sexuality is a big deal, it's only when it comes to LGBT that we try and play it down...
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#3010 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: London
Posts: 20,218
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Quote:
You can post what you wanted to post, I don't mind. I wasn't saying it doesn't matter, just not to me. It's not a big enough part of my life to warrant letting people know, especially not my parents.
But yeah, I think my problem is I'm just so political and activist, I tend to see everything in that narrow bubble. |
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#3011 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,285
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Quote:
Nah, it's not fair, the way I'd written it, it sounded like I was pressuring you, which isn't right.
But yeah, I think my problem is I'm just so political and activist, I tend to see everything in that narrow bubble. ![]() ![]() I get where you're coming from though. I think it's just one of those personal things though, we all deal differently. I do see that it's a big deal in the grand scheme of things, it's just not wanting a relationship with my parents in the future makes me wonder if it's worth letting them get to know me now. My life and future has no bearing on them in a way. |
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#3012 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: London
Posts: 20,218
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Quote:
I'm a big boy, I could handle it
![]() ![]() I get where you're coming from though. I think it's just one of those personal things though, we all deal differently. I do see that it's a big deal in the grand scheme of things, it's just not wanting a relationship with my parents in the future makes me wonder if it's worth letting them get to know me now. My life and future has no bearing on them in a way. I don't think I could ever tell her the real reason I keep trying to kill myself. |
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#3013 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,285
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Quote:
I kind of admire the control you're taking over it, I didn't really get much of a choice admittedly, I'd been released from my section to my parents care, and my mum was like, stop trying to kill yourself, I don't care that you're gay!
I don't think I could ever tell her the real reason I keep trying to kill myself. |
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#3014 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: London
Posts: 20,218
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Quote:
I think the only reason I have control over it is because I'm being given it. I reckon my parents know or suspect, but are just waiting for me to tell them instead of asking me outright. I do sometimes think it might even upset them that I haven't yet told them, that they think I don't feel I can tell them, but it's not that, it's just that I don't see the need. After all, it is my 'secret' to tell, so to speak, so they'll probably just leave it.
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#3015 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,285
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Quote:
That's fair enough, I wasn't sure I wanted to tell my parents either, but, in a way, I'm glad they found out, because my mum just outed me to everyone, but she did it in a cute way, like she was almost proud, and it saved me having all those awkward conversations!
I imagine there's that relief when you find out those closest that you worried about telling are happy and supportive ![]() The thing is, I'm quite camp, to the point where it is pretty obvious, people pretty much know when they meet me, so I can't imagine my family not knowing, so I kind of operate on the basis that it's not a secret, like I don't need to 'come out' as everyone knows, and there's been no negative reaction, and we all just move forward. I don't feel like there's this big thing I need to reveal, and the longer I keep it secret, the more it eats at me etc. It's like an open secret, I've never said it explicitly, but everyone 'knows' and I know they 'know' etc. |
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#3016 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: London
Posts: 20,218
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Quote:
It's good that you had someone supportive, so much so they took the burden of coming out off of you
I imagine there's that relief when you find out those closest that you worried about telling are happy and supportive ![]() The thing is, I'm quite camp, to the point where it is pretty obvious, people pretty much know when they meet me, so I can't imagine my family not knowing, so I kind of operate on the basis that it's not a secret, like I don't need to 'come out' as everyone knows, and there's been no negative reaction, and we all just move forward. I don't feel like there's this big thing I need to reveal, and the longer I keep it secret, the more it eats at me etc. It's like an open secret, I've never said it explicitly, but everyone 'knows' and I know they 'know' etc. Oh I get what you mean, I was kind of like that at work, most people figured it out by themselves, others were a bit more oblivious.. |
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#3017 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,285
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Quote:
Oh I get what you mean, I was kind of like that at work, most people figured it out by themselves, others were a bit more oblivious..
![]() ![]() I do wonder how anyone can know me and not know I've never felt a need to talk about it, it's just 'out there' ![]() Anyhoo, it's getting late and I'm shattered Night hon x See you tomorrow
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#3018 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: London
Posts: 20,218
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Quote:
Oblivious
![]() ![]() I do wonder how anyone can know me and not know I've never felt a need to talk about it, it's just 'out there' ![]() Anyhoo, it's getting late and I'm shattered Night hon x See you tomorrow ![]() |
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#3019 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: London
Posts: 20,218
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Phil Taggart just followed me!
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#3020 |
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Guest
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 130
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Jasper... are you a big slag? That's quite a leap of faith to jump to such a conclusion from all of three posts on here! Haha, er, no I wouldn't say I sleep around a lot, no. But then these things are subjective depending on your perspective on things.
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#3021 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Purgatorium
Posts: 17,627
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Quote:
That's quite a leap of faith to jump to such a conclusion from all of three posts on here! Haha, er, no I wouldn't say I sleep around a lot, no. But then these things are subjective depending on your perspective on things.
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#3022 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Blaine Anderson's locker
Posts: 6,298
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Quote:
Have you ever considered something like out anywhere? They're groups of guys you're age, who just meet up every so often and do stuff like hiking, or mountain climbing, or go bowling, or all sorts of things!
![]() I think I've got to stop thinking that Prince Charming will just fall into my lap. |
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#3023 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 4,040
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It's so sad that some of you feel you wont be accepted by your family if you come out to them. I think the pressure of living a 'double life' - and the fear of rejection by choosing not to often leads to depression.
My Daughter's boyfriend is from a religion that would find my Daughter unacceptable as a partner for him. They have been together for several years, love each other and are tolerant of each others beliefs, but his family would disown him if they found out he was seeing her. He really does live a double life. He loves my Daughter and he loves his family but he can see no way of having both and it is tearing him apart. I really feel for them and those of you that feel you cannot be yourself. I get so angry at the pain caused by the level of intolerance that still exists - especially in those that are meant to love us the most. |
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#3024 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 902
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Quote:
Aww, you're so sweet!
Hey btw, haven't seen you in ages, how's things? Still at the same law firm thingy? ![]() Yeah, I've not really posted much lately, but I've still managed to just about keep up following the goings on in here every now and then Gotta keep track of you guys lol! Things are great with me atm thanks. Unfortunately not in London still as I completed my postgrad (and aced it with distinction, woop woop ), so I'm back home now but it's all good and I can save for when I eventually move on permanently. Hoping to get back down and visit all my southern lot soon though. Feels like ages since I've had a good catch up with them all, plus the break will be something to look forward to haha! How's things with you? Hope the new job (well not so new by now lol) is going well for you and things in general.Hope things are great for all you regulars too and hello to all the newbies (awesome to have some fellow northerners in here at long last too ), nice to have you around...make yourselves at home
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#3025 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: London
Posts: 20,218
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Quote:
Haha thanks Jase, just my usual glass half-full optimistic self
![]() Yeah, I've not really posted much lately, but I've still managed to just about keep up following the goings on in here every now and then Gotta keep track of you guys lol! Things are great with me atm thanks. Unfortunately not in London still as I completed my postgrad (and aced it with distinction, woop woop ), so I'm back home now but it's all good and I can save for when I eventually move on permanently. Hoping to get back down and visit all my southern lot soon though. Feels like ages since I've had a good catch up with them all, plus the break will be something to look forward to haha! How's things with you? Hope the new job (well not so new by now lol) is going well for you and things in general.Hope things are great for all you regulars too and hello to all the newbies (awesome to have some fellow northerners in here at long last too ), nice to have you around...make yourselves at home ![]() !If you're gonna be anywhere near London, you should drop in on me !Things are going pretty good, I don't have any complaints anyway .
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Try not to get too disheartened!

Sigh, 21, Male, student lives in Sussex and studies in the north east. PM me for my phone number, I don't bite (unless asked), etc etc... 

