I found a magnificent performance btw:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_LVaHHNcP4

Don't judge me for being a little turned on by it

Do you think you would be happier if they knew?

I don't know, really. I've just never really felt like it was something they need to know. I've always been fairly private anyway, and I don't really plan on having a very close relationship with my parents in the future, so they don't really need to know much about me. Plus, it doesn't really play a big enough part in my life to be necessary news to share, so it's like 'why tell them?'.

That's a lot of reallys

I completely understand what you mean, even now that my parents know about my sexuality, I wouldn't feel obliged to tell them about any relationships I have.

Although I did get a kick out of telling my dad that my ex boyfriend proposed to me and I was going to plan a big wedding lol

I just feel like my life is my business, and until something directly impacts on them, they don't need to know *shrugs*

I think I've stated before that I'm only really out on here, although I get the feeling some of my co-workers have drawn their own conclusions.

I just wonder if I will meet anyone as not being one for nightclubbing it makes any prospects non-existant. (You may recall my consideration for dating sites not so long ago).

Don't worry too much about not being able to meet anyone just for the fact you're not into clubbing (or even the scene for that matter) Wiggy. To be honest, most of the guys on the scene are just looking for a quick shag anyway and not actually people you'd really wanna be in a relationship with. When you're ready and feel comfortable to be out there finding guys to date and be in a relationship with, I'm sure you'll find that there are opportunities available to meet them Try not to get too disheartened!

Hahah, yeah but you said you could get any one of us, I was suggesting that I'd be as useful to you as a chocolate teapot.


Well you only ever have to do things on your own terms, you'll know when you're ready to tell people.

Personally, I tell too many people, but when the old dears are asking me why a nice young man isn't married, I find it easier to just be like, well the nice young man likes a bit of the other.

Of course, I don't phrase it like that.

I'm also very quick to slap down anyone who uses homophobic language, or says stupid shit like, "EWWW those shoes are gay."

To be fair, I can't exactly hide it anyway, once I feel comfortable, I'm your typical scene queen...


It's not daft dear, there's no time scale for these things, we all do it at our own pace!




You are normal, you just identify as a minority sexuality type, which although not typical of common society, is as normal as it gets.

At uni you'll find that people are finally free to be themselves, so they'll come screaming out of the closet, and they won't suppress anything, give them some time and they'll mellow out.

There are groups like out anywhere, which might be handy if you're not into whole scene thing..


Well it's a county rather than a city, Brighton and Hove are in Sussex, as is Gatwick, and Hastings.

I'm a short drive away from Sussex, depending on the traffic (I rely on the M25..)



That's fair enough, and it's completely up to you what you share with people.

I'm an open book, I'll tell anyone anything, to be honest, I tend to just say whatever's on my mind at the time, which sometimes gets me into trouble.

I had a customer ask me for help, and I was like, I'll help you any time you like hunni, and he freaked out a bit.

I'd thought that I'd just thought that in my head, turns out I said it out loud!


Yeah, like I said earlier in this mega-post, I'm quite open, so people are probably aware, but if they're not, I grew up in a rough part of London, in a strict Roman Catholic family so I ended up quite repressed, I used to love Polly Pocket, Barbie, singing, dancing, musicals, and being on stage, but around the age of 5/6 my dad was like, right boys don't do any of that stuff, took all my toys away and got my brother to force me into football, I also wasn't allowed to hang around with the girls any more, and was told to find male friends...after the whole attempted suicide thing, and being sectioned, I decided to just be me, and **** what anyone thinks, so like, I love Beyonce, and musicals, and I'm quite effeminate in my mannerisms, and I do whatever I want these days.

My wardrobe is quite...bold, I own a pair of bright pink jeans for example, and I'm not exactly great at hiding it...I've been abused in the streets a few times for 'looking like a fag,' but I just shout back these days.


I'd written out a long response to this, but then I read it back, and it was a bit out of order, but I will say this, sexuality is a big deal, it's only when it comes to LGBT that we try and play it down...




Haha, meanie.

I can totally talk to my mum about anything, but my dad, geez, I'd feel so uncomfortable talking to him about this stuff.

His reaction to my mum confronting me over my sexuality, and me confirming I was gay, was to say, "Oh, so we could have called you Jasmine after all? (I was unplanned, and they wanted a girl)"



Have you ever considered something like out anywhere? They're groups of guys you're age, who just meet up every so often and do stuff like hiking, or mountain climbing, or go bowling, or all sorts of things!


Aww, you're so sweet!

Hey btw, haven't seen you in ages, how's things? Still at the same law firm thingy?

You can post what you wanted to post, I don't mind. I wasn't saying it doesn't matter, just not to me. It's not a big enough part of my life to warrant letting people know, especially not my parents (not that they don't already know, probably).

Nah, it's not fair, the way I'd written it, it sounded like I was pressuring you, which isn't right.

But yeah, I think my problem is I'm just so political and activist, I tend to see everything in that narrow bubble.

I'm a big boy, I could handle it

I get where you're coming from though. I think it's just one of those personal things though, we all deal differently. I do see that it's a big deal in the grand scheme of things, it's just not wanting a relationship with my parents in the future makes me wonder if it's worth letting them get to know me now. My life and future has no bearing on them in a way.

I kind of admire the control you're taking over it, I didn't really get much of a choice admittedly, I'd been released from my section to my parents care, and my mum was like, stop trying to kill yourself, I don't care that you're gay!

I don't think I could ever tell her the real reason I keep trying to kill myself.

I think the only reason I have control over it is because I'm being given it. I reckon my parents know or suspect, but are just waiting for me to tell them instead of asking me outright. I do sometimes think it might even upset them that I haven't yet told them, that they think I don't feel I can tell them, but it's not that, it's just that I don't see the need. After all, it is my 'secret' to tell, so to speak, so they'll probably just leave it.

That's fair enough, I wasn't sure I wanted to tell my parents either, but, in a way, I'm glad they found out, because my mum just outed me to everyone, but she did it in a cute way, like she was almost proud, and it saved me having all those awkward conversations!

It's good that you had someone supportive, so much so they took the burden of coming out off of you I imagine there's that relief when you find out those closest that you worried about telling are happy and supportive

The thing is, I'm quite camp, to the point where it is pretty obvious, people pretty much know when they meet me, so I can't imagine my family not knowing, so I kind of operate on the basis that it's not a secret, like I don't need to 'come out' as everyone knows, and there's been no negative reaction, and we all just move forward. I don't feel like there's this big thing I need to reveal, and the longer I keep it secret, the more it eats at me etc. It's like an open secret, I've never said it explicitly, but everyone 'knows' and I know they 'know' etc.

Oh I get what you mean, I was kind of like that at work, most people figured it out by themselves, others were a bit more oblivious..

Oblivious

I do wonder how anyone can know me and not know I've never felt a need to talk about it, it's just 'out there'

Anyhoo, it's getting late and I'm shattered Night hon x See you tomorrow

Sweet dreams xx

Phil Taggart just followed me!

That's quite a leap of faith to jump to such a conclusion from all of three posts on here! Haha, er, no I wouldn't say I sleep around a lot, no. But then these things are subjective depending on your perspective on things.

No, no. I'm not jumping to any conclusions just asking lol

Not considered it no. To be honest I'm lazy when it comes to stuff like that.

I think I've got to stop thinking that Prince Charming will just fall into my lap.

It's so sad that some of you feel you wont be accepted by your family if you come out to them. I think the pressure of living a 'double life' - and the fear of rejection by choosing not to often leads to depression.

My Daughter's boyfriend is from a religion that would find my Daughter unacceptable as a partner for him. They have been together for several years, love each other and are tolerant of each others beliefs, but his family would disown him if they found out he was seeing her.
He really does live a double life. He loves my Daughter and he loves his family but he can see no way of having both and it is tearing him apart.

I really feel for them and those of you that feel you cannot be yourself. I get so angry at the pain caused by the level of intolerance that still exists - especially in those that are meant to love us the most.

Haha thanks Jase, just my usual glass half-full optimistic self

Yeah, I've not really posted much lately, but I've still managed to just about keep up following the goings on in here every now and then Gotta keep track of you guys lol! Things are great with me atm thanks. Unfortunately not in London still as I completed my postgrad (and aced it with distinction, woop woop ), so I'm back home now but it's all good and I can save for when I eventually move on permanently. Hoping to get back down and visit all my southern lot soon though. Feels like ages since I've had a good catch up with them all, plus the break will be something to look forward to haha! How's things with you? Hope the new job (well not so new by now lol) is going well for you and things in general.


Hope things are great for all you regulars too and hello to all the newbies (awesome to have some fellow northerners in here at long last too ), nice to have you around...make yourselves at home

Well done!

If you're gonna be anywhere near London, you should drop in on me!

Things are going pretty good, I don't have any complaints anyway.