Caprice is in the diary room.
Craig Charles is talking to David Icke about how he loved working on Red Dwarf, especially the last series.
Icke says he loves the show and regularly watches.

Meanwhile Carole Caplin is in the Jacuzzi with Germaine Greer.
Both are drinking wine discussing who is going to be evicted on Monday. Neither are sure but both feel that its going to be a woman and not a man.

Big Brother calls all the HM's to the sofa.
Caplin and Greer are annoyed as they are both in swimsuits.
Big Brother is setting the celebrities a mini task.
They have to pluck 500 dead Pheasants.
Caprice who is a vegetarian says she cant do it.

but like Rebecca on the farm, will do it for the team, my principles will be put on hold she says, it's for a good cause, now Carole give me a lend of your lovely coat made out of cute bunnies

No Caprice, that coat is a family heirloom and i will never give it away.
Cherie asked for it one time and i told her to fork off.

Suddenly, Frank Mc Avennie arrives through the diary room door, he thought he had been axed but apparently not, hes on the show and he says to Craig,......

Top birds mate, cor, take a look at the peaches on that one, no, not that old thing wrapped in bunnies, that blonde one over their, in my footballing hey day i fought off birds like her on an hourly basis, do you want to hear about my hat trick i scored with these lovely dolly birds, caprice walks over and says

You idiot, footballers didnt get birds in your day, and dont call me a bird anyway as im not, im a woman.

In walks Bez from the Happy Mondays who is complaining about the lack of good toilet roll.

like sandpaper this, i'm not having this, i'll not be able to sit down for a month if this is all their is to wipe my arse with, get me somefink decent or i'm outa here mate

In walks Stan Collymore, "I got a text saying this is the new dogging hotspot" takes one look at those around him, big self satisfied grin spreads on his smug pretentious mug when he realises indeed he has come to the right place...