[Paddy C]

I'm using an old computer in work that's a pain to use and my cries for an update or new machine are falling on deaf ears. The only real way I'll get a badly needed new one is it stops working altogether. So, what can I do to, you know, help this process along?

[John259]

Give it to my neighbour for five minutes....

[BrokenArrow]

Cover up the fan vents and hope the components melt their solder before the temp sensor kicks in.

[John259]

Threaten it with Windows 8.

[Maxatoria]

Turn it off tonight and when no ones looking change the PSU voltage to 110 volts and next morning it probably will go pop and voila one dead machine, other things would probably involve opening up the machine and its pretty obvious that you open machine up and 5 mins later it 'dies'

Oh i miss the days of being able to set the hard drives parameters via dos so that the drive would slowly die a death of a thousand read errors and they'd throw it out and i'd just put the original parameters back in at home for a free hard drive

[Stig]

Originally Posted by Paddy C

I'm using an old computer in work that's a pain to use and my cries for an update or new machine are falling on deaf ears. The only real way I'll get a badly needed new one is it stops working altogether. So, what can I do to, you know, help this process along?

Perhaps you will get a new computer in your new job after you're sacked.

[DeelyBopper]

Use a hammer (one fit solution to many problems).

[Philip Wales]

I think it's disgusting people on here advising you how to damage other peoples property. I just hope your boss doesn't read these forums and sack you for willful destruction of company property!

Have you thought that maybe in these times of financial hardships, your company doesn't have the money to spend on a new computer, and possibly all the new software needed for such new computer.

[Paddy C]

The company can well afford it, believe me and my boss is computer illiterate, hence the reason why I think when I report the crap-ness of the computer, their belief is that if it still turns on then it's fine. I'm not really gonna do something to the computer, if anything, the thread was tongue in cheek for a cheap laugh for myself. I'm just gonna have to keep harping on at my boss that the computer is rubbish and failing and very slow and had problems performing the simplest tasks, and maybe, just maybe, I will get a new one in a few years time.

Yeah, right.

[mred2000]

Originally Posted by Paddy C

The company can well afford it, believe me and my boss is computer illiterate, hence the reason why I think when I report the crap-ness of the computer, their belief is that if it still turns on then it's fine. ....

What are you supposed to be using it for and what spec is it?

[Paddy C]

I have to do word processing, e-mail and internet, printing, scanning, faxing, spreadsheets, and general, light applications, nothing too luxurious, but yet even for these simple tasks, the computer is slow at opening every program and freezes regularly. It can't even play YouTube videos without freezing up. It takes an ice age to come on in the mornings too.

Any of the specs it has are improved from when it was bought originally as I brought in stuff from home like a proper graphics card instead of using the on-board one which was terrible and extra RAM to try and improve it after my attempts to report it for being a head of crap failed.

[Stig]

Originally Posted by Paddy C

I have to do word processing, e-mail and internet, printing, scanning, faxing, spreadsheets, and general, light applications, nothing too luxurious, but yet even for these simple tasks, the computer is slow at opening every program and freezes regularly. It can't even play YouTube videos without freezing up. It takes an ice age to come on in the mornings too.

Any of the specs it has are improved from when it was bought originally as I brought in stuff from home like a proper graphics card instead of using the on-board one which was terrible and extra RAM to try and improve it after my attempts to report it for being a head of crap failed.

It might just need a software tidy up and/or a reinstall of Windows. Do they image PCs in the office, or just install manually?

As long as your data is backed up up you could just make Windows fail. Shouldn't be too hard!

[Maxatoria]

Ok swift way of doing nothing physical but f'ing up the machine is to quickly alter the bios boot order so theres no trace of the HDD in the list...easy to fix should it be needed and a few 'intermittent' bouts of non booting will tell your boss its time to check the budget and since you know he has no technical knowledge at all it'll be easy to bamboozle him with some high tech BS

[stephen122333]

May be just change the fuse for a blown one (not sure where you would get one from).

Or use
http://www.dban.org/
To wipe the hard drive, and then denay any knowledge of doin it.

[kempshott]

If your boss isn't too savvy, just install the Blue Screen of Death Screensaver and tell him it keeps crashing.

It works on all recent Windows versions, not just those listed.

[dodgygeeza]

Originally Posted by Paddy C

Any of the specs it has are improved from when it was bought originally as I brought in stuff from home like a proper graphics card instead of using the on-board one which was terrible and extra RAM to try and improve it after my attempts to report it for being a head of crap failed.

You bought your own upgrades?

I'd take them out and then get your boss to actually use your computer to say, open your e-mail client and compose an e-mail with an attachment so s/he can see how slow it really is. I suffered with a slow work computer for ages, I feel your pain.

Failing that... clear the CMOS using the reset jumpers on the motherboard?

[s2k]

Originally Posted by Paddy C

I have to do word processing, e-mail and internet, printing, scanning, faxing, spreadsheets, and general, light applications, nothing too luxurious,

You shouldn't need a brand new system for this. Maybe just ask for it to be re-imaged and/or have a RAM upgrade.

It takes an ice age to come on in the mornings too.

Could be an inadequate network infrastructure or a lot of policies/scripts running. You cant compare a home PC with a domain client as the latter is almost always going to be slower to startup. Most people just accept this as the time to put the kettle on.

If it is genuinely preventing you from doing your job then you need to talk to your manager.

Originally Posted by Philip Wales

I think it's disgusting people on here advising you how to damage other peoples property. I just hope your boss doesn't read these forums and sack you for willful destruction of company property!

Have you thought that maybe in these times of financial hardships, your company doesn't have the money to spend on a new computer, and possibly all the new software needed for such new computer.

Particularly if its a case of holding back on their IT refresh so as to achieve savings that would otherwise be acquired via staff redundancies.

[BrokenArrow]

Originally Posted by Maxatoria

Turn it off tonight and when no ones looking change the PSU voltage to 110 volts and next morning it probably will go pop and voila one dead machine, other things would probably involve opening up the machine and its pretty obvious that you open machine up and 5 mins later it 'dies'

Oh i miss the days of being able to set the hard drives parameters via dos so that the drive would slowly die a death of a thousand read errors and they'd throw it out and i'd just put the original parameters back in at home for a free hard drive

Do they still have voltage switches ?

I thought everything is dual voltage nowadays.

Depends on how old the machine is though I guess.

[Alan F]

Originally Posted by Paddy C

I have to do word processing, e-mail and internet, printing, scanning, faxing, spreadsheets, and general, light applications, nothing too luxurious, but yet even for these simple tasks, the computer is slow at opening every program and freezes regularly.

Strangely no one has asked the age or the spec of this computer.

To be slow at these tasks it must be about 15 years old and running Windows 95.

If it is less than 10 years old and running Windows XP it should be quite capable, if not blistering, at these tasks, and there is no good reason why it should be crashing.

It is clearly long past time someone competant sorted out the software.

[mred2000]

Originally Posted by Alan F

Strangely no one has asked the age or the spec of this computer.

Post #10... I was hoping for more info than was actually given, though.

Originally Posted by Alan F

To be slow at these tasks it must be about 15 years old and running Windows 95.

Or 5 yrs old, riddled with cack and in dire need of a clean up.

[Paddy C]

Originally Posted by s2k

You shouldn't need a brand new system for this. Maybe just ask for it to be re-imaged and/or have a RAM upgrade.

Could be an inadequate network infrastructure or a lot of policies/scripts running. You cant compare a home PC with a domain client as the latter is almost always going to be slower to startup. Most people just accept this as the time to put the kettle on.

If it is genuinely preventing you from doing your job then you need to talk to your manager.

Particularly if its a case of holding back on their IT refresh so as to achieve savings that would otherwise be acquired via staff redundancies.

It's not a big company, it's a small business and it is one of 3 computers in the office, none of which ever interact with each other but are connected to the same crappy network. We don't have an IT department, or anyone I can report the issue to other than my boss who won't listen. I do all the IT stuff for the office on all 3 computers and the other two aren't much better than mine. I have had to bring in / buy my own upgrades to give it more RAM (it now has 2GB instead of the 512kb it came with) and it now has a graphics card which it didn't have previously. I keep the computer completely free of any unnecessary files, virus scan it regularly and check for malware etc. I doubt there's anything on the hard drive I don't need or use.

I think the computer company we got them from (a local place, not a big chain) ripped my boss off as I remember seeing an invoice for around £500-odd for the base alone (no monitor or accessories were needed) and yet it came with XP on it (7 was already released at this time) and it has next to no real power or oomph, it just feels like it is the most basic of the basic. As he's not computer literate and he ordered it, I think they saw him coming and ripped him off. Sad thing is, if my work computer did fail it would be that company he would use to buy it's replacement, so I'd make sure I spoke to the person selling the stuff and that we were getting something decent for the price!

As far as specs go, Intel D processor, 2GB RAM, 512MB graphics, running W7 but came with XP on it, and even with XP it was slow.

[mred2000]

I was going to say you shouldn't need a graphics card for what you're doing, onboard should be enough, but if your manager has been palmed off with 5-7 yr old processors then anything goes, really... Though the Pentium D was still being produced in 2008 even though Core 2 had replaced it in 2006...

[c4rv]

That spec should be fine for what you want to use it for, there is nothing wronging with your CPU for low usage computing. Seeing as you are such a IT expect, you shouldn't have a problem reinstalling it and this time dont't install so much crap on it and make you have anti-virus and anti-spyware as you could well have malware on it right now which is slowing it down.

[s2k]

Originally Posted by Paddy C

It's not a big company, it's a small business and it is one of 3 computers in the office, none of which ever interact with each other but are connected to the same crappy network. We don't have an IT department, or anyone I can report the issue to other than my boss who won't listen. I do all the IT stuff for the office on all 3 computers and the other two aren't much better than mine. I have had to bring in / buy my own upgrades to give it more RAM (it now has 2GB instead of the 512kb it came with) and it now has a graphics card which it didn't have previously.

I think the computer company he got them from (a local place, not a big chain) ripped him off as I remember my boss paid about £around 500-odd for the base alone (no monitor or accessories were needed) and yet it came with XP on it (7 was already released at this time) and it has next to no real power or oomph, it just feels like it is the most basic of the basic. As he's not computer literate and he ordered it, I think they saw him coming and ripped him off. Sad thing is, if my work computer did fail it would be that company he would use to buy it's replacement, so I'd make sure I spoke to the person selling the stuff and that we were getting something decent for the price!

As far as specs go, Intel D processor, 2GB RAM, 512MB graphics, running W7 but came with XP on it, and even with XP it was slow.

We have lower spec machines in our office and they are perfectly capable for MS Office and internet. In fact if the persons job role only required that and their PC broke (and was out of warranty) they would normally be given a thin client instead.

In your case a rebuild would almost certainly solve your problems....then again it may create some new ones if you dont back up correctly and make sure all the relevent software is available to put back on. It sounds like your boss is one of those people who doesnt understand that IT needs ongoing maintenance and isn't a one-off expenditure so I can sympathise on that point. I would strongly discourage you from getting too involved in the organization's ICT responsibilities unless they are prepared to write it into your contract as you will be used as the scapegoat in the event of problems.

As for XP, you will probably find it has been downgraded from 7 Professional. Almost certainly on request of whoever bought it. The CoA sticker should shed some light on what OS is supposed to be on there.

[mred2000]

Originally Posted by c4rv

That spec should be fine for what you want to use it for...

Must admit I thought that...

Originally Posted by s2k

As for XP, you will probably find it has been downgraded from 7 Professional. Almost certainly on request of whoever bought it. The CoA sticker should shed some light on what OS is supposed to be on there.

I think they're custom built by a local shop from what the OP has said. They were bought with XP and have been upgraded to Win7...