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Old 23-03-2013, 15:19
Electra
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The notion of being the most "kvlt" or "tr00", in which as soon as a band gets any form of exposure it is not possible to like them anymore, and makes the bands "less metal".
Ha ha, yes - hipster metalheads. Also the same attitude to any band who play actual tunes & have decipherable lyrics, oh and clean vocals.

When did metal become so full of posers?
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Old 23-03-2013, 15:30
Finny Skeleta
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The fanatical obsession with subgenres.

Go on to any Youtube video of any slightly metally band and the comments (ok, never a source of valuable discourse anyway) will be full of people arguing over which genre bracket to lump them into.

"That's not REAL post-industrial sludge core, it's more like proto-melodic death trumpet core!"

"They're not proto-melodic death trumpet core, bands like Umbiricorn, SplatMurder or the early Cancertron stuff is real proto-melodic death trumpet core. This is more like ultra-grind cyber squonkcore."

"There's squonkcore elements in there but this is more like power speed pumblybumbly core..."

...and on, and on, and on, and on.

Of course, everyone is too polite to point out that they all sound exactly the bloody same.
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Old 23-03-2013, 15:39
Electra
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The fanatical obsession with subgenres.

Go on to any Youtube video of any slightly metally band and the comments (ok, never a source of valuable discourse anyway) will be full of people arguing over which genre bracket to lump them into.

"That's not REAL post-industrial sludge core, it's more like proto-melodic death trumpet core!"

"They're not proto-melodic death trumpet core, bands like Umbiricorn, SplatMurder or the early Cancertron stuff is real proto-melodic death trumpet core. This is more like ultra-grind cyber squonkcore."

"There's squonkcore elements in there but this is more like power speed pumblybumbly core..."

...and on, and on, and on, and on.

Of course, everyone is too polite to point out that they all sound exactly the bloody same.
I wanna hear pumblybumbly/squonkcore trumpet metal
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Old 23-03-2013, 15:49
Finny Skeleta
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I wanna hear pumblybumbly/squonkcore trumpet metal
You should try Tumescent Pigspawn or some early Maalust Rhhelem stuff (before they went all commercial).
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Old 23-03-2013, 15:52
Electra
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You should try Tumescent Pigspawn or some early Maalust Rhhelem stuff (before they went all commercial).
LMAO! Off to Youtube now
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Old 23-03-2013, 15:58
RikScot
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I wanna hear pumblybumbly/squonkcore trumpet metal
Be careful what you wish for
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Old 23-03-2013, 16:01
Electra
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Be careful what you wish for
Please tell me it doesn't actually exist
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Old 23-03-2013, 16:02
RikScot
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Please tell me it doesn't actually exist
Don't think so....but nothing would surprise me these days
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Old 23-03-2013, 16:04
Pink Knight
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I've just read there is a sub genre called Nintendocore.

How many more?
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Old 23-03-2013, 16:21
crazymonk
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People make them up as they go along, I like sub-genres because sometimes they are necessary but I try to not go overboard.
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Old 23-03-2013, 16:56
Electra
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People make them up as they go along, I like sub-genres because sometimes they are necessary but I try to not go overboard.
We really only need about seven sub genres in order to give an expectation of what the listener is about to hear. I'd probably go with Black, Death, Speed, Thrash, Power, Folk & Symphonic.

I guess the 'problem arises when they start mixing up the genres eg putting black vocals over folk music Equilibrium - Blut Im Auge to make, what I gather is called Blackened Folk. (To me that's a great tune almost ruined by the vocal - although I love the music so much I've forced myself to get used to it). Or death vocals over power, to make melodic death. eg Amon Amarth

I don't agree with sub categorisation by subject matter - Pirate Metal, War Metal, Viking Metal etc. To me that's just getting too silly.

In the end, it's all just Metal, isn't it?
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Old 23-03-2013, 17:21
Cake Or Death
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Corpse paint. You don't look dead, love and you certainly don't look hard. You look like a second rate Alice Cooper/KISS impersonator. Now here's some wet wipes and we'll say no more about it..

see also- Metal poses. You've got your arms folded and your looking down at the camera scowling.. Ooooh scary!
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Old 23-03-2013, 17:28
Electra
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Corpse paint. You don't look dead, love and you certainly don't look hard. You look like a second rate Alice Cooper/KISS impersonator. Now here's some wet wipes and we'll say no more about it..

see also- Metal poses. You've got your arms folded and your looking down at the camera scowling.. Ooooh scary!
https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6464058368/hB45BB3CA/

The spiky stuff too. You wouldn't want to bump into these guys in the mosh, would you?

Actually, I just find Black Metal pretty funny all round really. Until they start killing each other & being Nazis & stuff, that is.
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Old 23-03-2013, 17:59
Cake Or Death
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https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6464058368/hB45BB3CA/

The spiky stuff too. You wouldn't want to bump into these guys in the mosh, would you?

Actually, I just find Black Metal pretty funny all round really. Until they start killing each other & being Nazis & stuff, that is.
Hahaha! Oh I mean AAAAAAARGH!!
Dearie me, don't they realise they could have someones eye out with that stuff?! Silly boys. The guy's pose instantly reminded me of this.
And I completely agree, I find it funny too- I even like some of the music- they're just so po-faced about it. There was a video on YT 'Top 10 Most Ridiculous BM Videos' which was hilarious but it seems to have been removed.
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Old 23-03-2013, 18:05
dodger0703
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The fanatical obsession with subgenres.

Go on to any Youtube video of any slightly metally band and the comments (ok, never a source of valuable discourse anyway) will be full of people arguing over which genre bracket to lump them into.

"That's not REAL post-industrial sludge core, it's more like proto-melodic death trumpet core!"

"They're not proto-melodic death trumpet core, bands like Umbiricorn, SplatMurder or the early Cancertron stuff is real proto-melodic death trumpet core. This is more like ultra-grind cyber squonkcore."

"There's squonkcore elements in there but this is more like power speed pumblybumbly core..."

...and on, and on, and on, and on.

Of course, everyone is too polite to point out that they all sound exactly the bloody same.
Was reading this at work drinking a cup of tea and actually spat it out with laughter, that is one of the funniest posts i have ever read.

Well Done
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Old 23-03-2013, 18:25
RikScot
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One word...Venom.
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Old 23-03-2013, 18:38
bryemycaz
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Adrenalize was a massive letdown after Pyromania and Hysteria in so many 'rockin' ways.

The worst thing about Metal for me was Limp Bizkit.
The death of Steve Clark, while making that album hit them hard and I don't think they really recovered from it.
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Old 23-03-2013, 18:55
dodger0703
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Surprised nobody's mentioned Manowar yet.
Imagine how embarrassing handing this over to buy would have been http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Manowar_Anthology.jpg
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Old 23-03-2013, 19:20
Electra
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Imagine how embarrassing handing this over to buy would have been http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Manowar_Anthology.jpg
I know! That one always crops up on lists of worst album covers. What on earth possessed them?

They started off ok but unfortunately, descended into self parody.
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Old 23-03-2013, 19:21
Electra
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One word...Venom.
Anything in particular?
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Old 23-03-2013, 19:24
eugenespeed
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The worst thing about metal for me is being a metal fan.

As soon as you say to someone "Oh, I like metal", they have you down as some sort of headbanging, lamb sacrificing, Satanist.

It's not fair, I've not massacred a lamb for three years now and I only attend The Church of Levey once every other month
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Old 23-03-2013, 19:27
dodger0703
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I know! That one always crops up on lists of worst album covers. What on earth possessed them?

They started off ok but unfortunately, descended into self parody.
Gotta admit I used to love this Manowar Blow Your Speakers
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Old 23-03-2013, 19:32
Electra
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Hahaha! Oh I mean AAAAAAARGH!!
Dearie me, don't they realise they could have someones eye out with that stuff?! Silly boys. The guy's pose instantly reminded me of this.
And I completely agree, I find it funny too- I even like some of the music- they're just so po-faced about it. There was a video on YT 'Top 10 Most Ridiculous BM Videos' which was hilarious but it seems to have been removed.
Will this do instead? I'm crying here

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zT7qfdgdgq4
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Old 23-03-2013, 19:37
dodger0703
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I honestly thought those blokes had done that for a laugh, then i saw the video is actually from a different song, so searched for it, wish i hadn't the benny hill was was much better
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Old 23-03-2013, 19:38
gold2040
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We really only need about seven sub genres in order to give an expectation of what the listener is about to hear. I'd probably go with Black, Death, Speed, Thrash, Power, Folk & Symphonic
Not that i'm a fan but Grindcore I think is substantiated enough to warrant a legitimate genre
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