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Old 21-04-2013, 20:57
Bill Clinton
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What can I do to leave home (that is the parental one)?
At 32 years of age I feel quite restricted by the lack of independence, in terms of your personal authority and also in terms of your space.

The problem I have is that we live in a small semi which might be fine enough but I can't just retreat to my bedroom because they choose to use the room next door to it (also upstairs) as a place to watch TV and go on their computer, they have a powerful sound system and play music from it, it's a nightmare.

Problem is they get defensive when challenged and I breathe a sigh of relief if they choose to base themselves downstairs which has a satellite system and also access to online players on a PS3. Sure you do hear that from upstairs but when they are based in their upstairs room (which they call the office) you can almost hear a pin drop, you can hear the words they are saying, the TV through the computer, any music, not only is it the sound which is hellish for us with AS who are sensitive but you also feel more of a lack of privacy as it's all so close. I'd like to relax in the evenings without having to worry about it, every day it's in the back of my mind that they might be in that room tonight, I have to find places to go and other things to do to avoid it, the only positive being I have not stayed in and perhaps just played games or watched TV as I once might have done. I have a girlfriend and can spend time round hers, but even there the thoughts get to me that she's got space and I haven't and it feels unequal.

Parents have been supportive in the past, but I feel like I am living in the same room with them now, our relationship works best when I do have private space.

It's affecting the work I do because I can't concentrate, so I need to get the flat to continue, I might have neighbours but it's not going to be the equivalent of the next room which should be a bedroom with only a plasterboard wall.


With Aspergers Syndrome I need a place I can go to to get some peace and quiet, and this in the main form is a seperate space from other people, I can't go more than a few hours in the social company of other people without needing space from them, to sort of recover and recuperate and the only way I can see that I can do this is to get my own flat.

Now this is the era of the Coalition but I need to do something to get my own space, if you rent privately you can get housing benefit but they need an expensive deposit and the first months rent and I can't raise that without going into debt, but maybe that would be worth doing.

I'm on benefit and without going into it thankfully might have a way around the under 35's rule on 1 bedroom flats.

Because I suffer anxiety and this is now my no.1 I should have prepared for it in early life and not got into this situation, but I also didn't predict it could happen, we had different living arrangements that were better suited in the past and never thought it could come up. I had other anxieties back then which were no.1 and was focused on them.

I've been thinking of this (officially) as it were since January when I actually told them without giving any specific reasons that I did want to be able to move out, they were supportive but now we are down to the practicalities of how it's going to be achieved.
I've viewed maybe 1 or 2 flats, one wanted a guarantor, another one had fees. I'm not sure what to do about getting social housing or even supported accomodation for those of us who are on the autistic spectrum.

Life's not easy not just because just getting on and becoming independent is hard but also because it throws you things you cannot cope with, with next to no support. You are just muddling through and feeling like you are getting nowhere.
Basically if you have anything that can help about how I could get this done sooner or later, then I would be grateful to hear about it. I can only think of getting somewhere and then using a credit card.
We aspies worry about everything, how the living expenses can be afforded, can I keep my car, but at the same time I need to do it to get rid of this crippling anxiety no matter what it takes. There's 7 billion people in the world, 62 million in the UK, how are you to supposed to get on, with this problem I just feel hopeless. I'm normally quite happy but I can't get past this one.

How would you go about it?
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Old 21-04-2013, 21:16
12341234
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If you receive Medium DLA then you can get 1-bed rate; if you require an overnight Carer, a 2-Bed (send a report from you to the council on why & what said Carer would do for you; get said Carer to write to the council, too,

The quickest way, quite frankly is to be thrown-out, if you have not lived in your authority for 6 months, you'll be sent back to your previous authority

You'll be exempt on CT grounds under SMI grounds - get GP to do letter.
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Old 21-04-2013, 21:17
12341234
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http://www.wirral.gov.uk/my-services...tax/exemptions

Class U

You must receive MRC DLA
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Old 21-04-2013, 21:19
Bill Clinton
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If you receive Medium DLA then you can get 1-bed rate; if you require an overnight Carer, a 2-Bed (send a report from you to the council on why & what said Carer would do for you; get said Carer to write to the council, too,

The quickest way, quite frankly is to be thrown-out, if you have not lived in your authority for 6 months, you'll be sent back to your previous authority

You'll be exempt on CT grounds under SMI grounds - get GP to do letter.
I think I could care for himself, do not want to be thrown out because our relationship is generally quite good and pretty strong, but DO have a lot of anxiety and even depression issues, some people don't know the extent of them. But you wouldn't wish the anxiety I have on a worst enemy it stops all your positivity, you can't get anything done, you can't relax, it clouds your thoughts so all that matters is getting my space.

I guess I'm going to have to admit that me being on DLA for Aspergers might be the saving grace in this situation
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Old 21-04-2013, 21:19
12341234
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Sheltered housing is often run by private companies, but here, it's run in conjunction with the NHS MH trust; depends how severe your needs are.
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Old 21-04-2013, 21:20
Bill Clinton
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If you receive Medium DLA then you can get 1-bed rate; if you require an overnight Carer, a 2-Bed (send a report from you to the council on why & what said Carer would do for you; get said Carer to write to the council, too,

The quickest way, quite frankly is to be thrown-out, if you have not lived in your authority for 6 months, you'll be sent back to your previous authority

You'll be exempt on CT grounds under SMI grounds - get GP to do letter.
I think I could care for himself, do not want to be thrown out because our relationship is generally quite good and pretty strong, but DO have a lot of anxiety and even depression issues, some people don't know the extent of them. But you wouldn't wish the anxiety I have on a worst enemy it stops all your positivity, you can't get anything done, you can't relax, it clouds your thoughts so all that matters is getting my space.

I guess I'm going to have to admit that me being on DLA for Aspergers might be the saving grace in this situation.
Am worried that when PIP comes in my relative independence will throw me off benefit, there is no future, I can't develop the skills I have if I am crippled by anxiety.
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Old 21-04-2013, 21:24
12341234
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I think I could care for himself, do not want to be thrown out because our relationship is generally quite good and pretty strong, but DO have a lot of anxiety and even depression issues, some people don't know the extent of them. But you wouldn't wish the anxiety I have on a worst enemy it stops all your positivity, you can't get anything done, you can't relax, it clouds your thoughts so all that matters is getting my space.

I guess I'm going to have to admit that me being on DLA for Aspergers might be the saving grace in this situation
Last paragraph: indeed.

For thrown-out, I mean: get Mr & Mrs Clinton as it were to tell the council they're throwing you out, as it were...

They'd help you get a flat through chucking you out, but it'd be a bit..
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Old 21-04-2013, 21:25
12341234
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I think I could care for himself, do not want to be thrown out because our relationship is generally quite good and pretty strong, but DO have a lot of anxiety and even depression issues, some people don't know the extent of them. But you wouldn't wish the anxiety I have on a worst enemy it stops all your positivity, you can't get anything done, you can't relax, it clouds your thoughts so all that matters is getting my space.

I guess I'm going to have to admit that me being on DLA for Aspergers might be the saving grace in this situation.
Am worried that when PIP comes in my relative independence will throw me off benefit, there is no future, I can't develop the skills I have if I am crippled by anxiety.
I am also concerned about PIP; you'll need as many health letters as possible.
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Old 21-04-2013, 21:38
Bill Clinton
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Last paragraph: indeed.

For thrown-out, I mean: get Mr & Mrs Clinton as it were to tell the council they're throwing you out, as it were...

They'd help you get a flat through chucking you out, but it'd be a bit..
Why can't I just select a flat from the market that is within the local housing allowance, get that somehow and claim housing benefit, can I not do that?
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Old 21-04-2013, 21:43
12341234
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Why can't I just select a flat from the market that is within the local housing allowance, get that somehow and claim housing benefit, can I not do that?
Yes - so long as you've saved-up X months up-front required & deposit
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Old 22-04-2013, 04:40
evil c
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Try getting in touch with this support group to see if they can help you: http://www.mysignpost.org/Care_and_S...p-lst2058.html
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Old 22-04-2013, 14:49
Bill Clinton
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Thanks for your replies so far, I ought to be getting some help from the specialist service but haven't so far, also name isn't on any kind of list.

Do you think this could be useful, otherwise I haven't got very far in getting the deposit/first month's rent (if that's even all it is), it might take until nearer Christmas/into 2014. And as I mentioned maybe I could get my own loan instead.

http://www.dwp.gov.uk/publications/s...dgeting-loans/
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