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Children starting school still wearing nappies.


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Old 08-05-2013, 10:26
benjamini
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Is this a new thing, or has it always been the case but not reported?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-kent-22445847

My children had to be toilet trained before the nursery took them. They were taken into nursery at 2years 8 months.
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Old 08-05-2013, 10:29
Ben_Copland
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There's kids that still breastfeed, sometimes up to the age of 8, possibly more. Lazy parenting? Over attached parents, not wanting them to go past the baby stage?
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Old 08-05-2013, 10:34
benjamini
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Bit tough on teachers, and other pupils.
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Old 08-05-2013, 10:35
Pull2Open
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My children, including my soon to be starting nursery, 3 year old, all had/have to be dry before they go!
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Old 08-05-2013, 10:38
Pull2Open
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There's kids that still breastfeed, sometimes up to the age of 8, possibly more. Lazy parenting? Over attached parents, not wanting them to go past the baby stage?
Not sure you can call late breastfeeding lazy parenting...takes a lot of effort and prejudice battling I would imagine! I couldn't be arsed if I was a woman!
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Old 08-05-2013, 10:40
benjamini
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Not sure you can call late breastfeeding lazy parenting...takes a lot of effort and prejudice battling I would imagine! I couldn't be arsed if I was a woman!
I am, and did. Gave it up before school age was reached tho
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Old 08-05-2013, 10:42
petit-pois
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My son will start nursery next year when he turns 3, and he must be toilet trained before going. So we're going to potty train him this summer. Attempted it earlier this year but he wasn't ready.

I have to say I found it very stressful and had to keep reminding myself that he would get it one day and I don't know of any adults still in nappies so I shouldn't put so much pressure on myself (and him) to get it right! Perhaps these parents give it a go, find it hard, then just think it's easier to keep them in nappies. That's by no means the right thing to do of course, but I'm just trying to hazard a guess as to why anyone would still have their 5yr old in nappies.
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Old 08-05-2013, 10:47
bazaar1
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The problem is not lazy parenting, its the complete opposite IMO. we are told not to push our children into potty training now, that it should be child led. My daughter got awful UTIs because she was holding it too long when we were training, and my son wasn't dry at night until about 6. My daughter is (almost) 4 and dry 99% of the time, but there are days where she seems to wet constantly, its just one of those things. I do think by four there should be some level of control, but if parents are listening to the HV etc who say 'let them do it in their own time' then you can't really blame them.
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Old 08-05-2013, 10:47
Rorschach
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Well I was going to post that "round here" they have to be toilet trained, until I clicked on the story and found that it was talking about "round here" so I'm rather confused now.

I've certainly never encoutered it with my youngest daughter, and that's only fve/six years ago.



(My eldest was still in pads at nursery but then she's thirteen next month and still in them now so that's not surprising)
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Old 08-05-2013, 10:53
Hugh Jboobs
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To be honest I think it's pretty disgusting that parents let their kids start school without being potty trained.

A friend of mine is a reception class teacher and she was telling me she has at least one kid in her class every year who isn't potty trained when they start.

In her experience, it is mostly down to lazy parenting. They believe it's down to the teacher to do it.
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Old 08-05-2013, 10:54
Pull2Open
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The problem is not lazy parenting, its the complete opposite IMO. we are told not to push our children into potty training now, that it should be child led. My daughter got awful UTIs because she was holding it too long when we were training, and my son wasn't dry at night until about 6. My daughter is (almost) 4 and dry 99% of the time, but there are days where she seems to wet constantly, its just one of those things. I do think by four there should be some level of control, but if parents are listening to the HV etc who say 'let them do it in their own time' then you can't really blame them.
According to health care professionals, 7 is the magic age! That apparently is when they produce a chemical in the brain that stops them wetting at night! My daughter is 7, she is dry in the day but cannot get dry at night. I am taking her to my GP if it doesn't improve in the next 3 months!
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Old 08-05-2013, 10:59
Bex7t6
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My son will start nursery next year when he turns 3, and he must be toilet trained before going. So we're going to potty train him this summer. Attempted it earlier this year but he wasn't ready.

I have to say I found it very stressful and had to keep reminding myself that he would get it one day and I don't know of any adults still in nappies so I shouldn't put so much pressure on myself (and him) to get it right! Perhaps these parents give it a go, find it hard, then just think it's easier to keep them in nappies. That's by no means the right thing to do of course, but I'm just trying to hazard a guess as to why anyone would still have their 5yr old in nappies.
There were times when my youngest daughter was that age that I wished she was still in nappies. Would have saved a lot of clothes and my sanity at having to change crappy underwear.

Though very mature in many ways, she still has the odd accident now she is 9. I tried everything to potty train her and I just didn't understand why she didn't get it or even feel uncomfortable or embarrassed by it. Nursery and school were very understanding and I found out when she was about 6 that she had mild autism and some sensory issues. Often not feeling the urge until the very last minute.

I am sure most people try hard to make sure their children are potty trained. Even the laziest parents would agree it's easier to have a dry child than one you have to change still.
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Old 08-05-2013, 11:02
Picklebum
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My youngest son is now 3 and just started nursery. He is still in nappies and gets agitated at the thought of potty training, I would never have put him into nursery for the 4 mornings he does had not the staff assured me it was no problem as it is very common for boys to not toilet train before 4 years old.

My others were toilet trained by 2 and a half because they wanted to. Each child is different.
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Old 08-05-2013, 11:04
Bex7t6
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To be honest I think it's pretty disgusting that parents let their kids start school without being potty trained.

A friend of mine is a reception class teacher and she was telling me she has at least one kid in her class every year who isn't potty trained when they start.

In her experience, it is mostly down to lazy parenting. They believe it's down to the teacher to do it.
'At least one child'? Isn't it an assumption by your friend that the parent is lazy? Couldn't it just be that they encounter at least one child every year that has some potty training issues?

It's way harder changing sh*tty clothes or nappies than it is to have a dry child. I would have thought 'lazy parents' would prefer their child to be dry sooner rather than later.
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Old 08-05-2013, 11:04
benjamini
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Maybe mums are not getting the help and support they need from health visitors, that my generation got.
Not just toilet trining but anything baby/toddler related.
I have never ever heard that 7 is a magic age for children to learn bowel or bladder control.
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Old 08-05-2013, 11:08
riceuten
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I remember when my nephews were starting infants school they had to be able to tie their own shoelaces and get dressed without assistance - no skip on shoes allowed ! This was harsher than my own childhood 20 years previously when there were a proportion of parents whose kids had slip on shoes to avoid just such an eventuality.

I *do* think there are parents who struggle with parenting such as toilet training but I'm not sure there are any more now than there were in the past - we're just more aware of the problem due to the kind of media we have now and the kind of reporting that goes on. To a Guardian reader, this problem would be symptomatic of a crisis in parenting/nursery places and involve much wringing of hands. To a Daily Express/Heil reader, this results from too lax discipline at home and the banning of spanking and the lack of the cane at schools. You can read into it anything to suit your prejudices.
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Old 08-05-2013, 11:08
Picklebum
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'At least one child'? Isn't it an assumption by your friend that the parent is lazy? Couldn't it just be that they encounter at least one child every year that has some potty training issues?

It's way harder changing sh*tty clothes or nappies than it is to have a dry child. I would have thought 'lazy parents' would prefer their child to be dry sooner rather than later.
I am 42 and I remember there being 3 or 4 boys in my reception class primary school who would regulary wet/soil themselves .

The difference then was that there were no disposables so Parents had no choice but to put them into school dry.
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Old 08-05-2013, 11:09
Pull2Open
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To be honest I think it's pretty disgusting that parents let their kids start school without being potty trained.

A friend of mine is a reception class teacher and she was telling me she has at least one kid in her class every year who isn't potty trained when they start.

In her experience, it is mostly down to lazy parenting. They believe it's down to the teacher to do it.
Disgusting is a bit of a harsh word!

Kids crapping in their hands and wiping it over other kids while the parents look on is disgusting, kids wearing nappies to nursery because they are still toilet training is far from disgusting!
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Old 08-05-2013, 11:14
Bex7t6
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I am 42 and I remember there being 3 or 4 boys in my reception class primary school who would regulary wet/soil themselves .

The difference then was that there were no disposables so Parents had no choice but to put them into school dry.
But if there were at least 3 or 4 boys that regularly soiled or wet their pants, then their parents didn't send them to school dry.

Young children who have previously been totally dry, can regress when they start nursery or reception. This is because they become anxious due to all the change and have separation anxiety from being away from their parents.
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Old 08-05-2013, 11:15
Picklebum
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Disgusting is a bit of a harsh word!

Kids crapping in their hands and wiping it over other kids while the parents look on is disgusting, kids wearing nappies to nursery because they are still toilet training is far from disgusting!
Agreed. Children start school so young now. I was 5 but a lot of children have only just turned 4 in the summer and then they start in the September.
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Old 08-05-2013, 11:17
Picklebum
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But if there were at least 3 or 4 boys that regularly soiled or wet their pants, then their parents didn't send them to school dry.

Young children who have previously been totally dry, can regress when they start nursery or reception. This is because they become anxious due to all the change and have separation anxiety from being away from their parents.
I totally agree. I just remember it being a regular thing. The staff accepted it. The parents weren't lazy at all. It's just shows that some kids develop later than others and like you say, I never went to nursery nor did any of my peers, so it was our first time away from our Mums.
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Old 08-05-2013, 11:21
zombie
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My son is 3 (4 in october) and is starting nursery this september, We have been dry in the day for months now, but now way at night,he doesnt even wake when he needs a wee at night. To be honest im not sure how to toilet train during the night
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Old 08-05-2013, 11:25
Pull2Open
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My son is 3 (4 in october) and is starting nursery this september, We have been dry in the day for months now, but now way at night,he doesnt even wake when he needs a wee at night. To be honest im not sure how to toilet train during the night
Its a mixture of a natural chemical reaction in the brain and positive reinforcement!

My son was dry at night within a couple of weeks of intensive monitory, making sure they wee before bed, put them on the loo before I go to bed, put them on the loo if you get up in the night and rewarded him for each night he was dry!
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Old 08-05-2013, 11:27
delly
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My friend has a daughter now aged 8, with bladder problems, she also has a mild form of cerebral palsy and longs to just 'fit in.' It is fortunate that these products are now so discreet and available for older children.
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Old 08-05-2013, 11:27
benjamini
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My son is 3 (4 in october) and is starting nursery this september, We have been dry in the day for months now, but now way at night,he doesnt even wake when he needs a wee at night. To be honest im not sure how to toilet train during the night
I just took the nappy off at night. Lifted them when I was going to bed and plonked them on the toilet and they did it.
Made sure I got to them in the morning before they woke up and got them onto the toilet. It worked for all 4 of my children, plus foster children. Yes there was the odd accident, but they were all out of night nappies by 4.
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