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Children starting school still wearing nappies.


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Old 08-05-2013, 11:29
Picklebum
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I just took the nappy off at night. Lifted them when I was going to bed and plonked them on the toilet and they did it.
Made sure I got to them in the morning before they woke up and got them onto the toilet. It worked for all 4 of my children, plus foster children. Yes there was the odd accident, but they were all out of night nappies by 4.
Thinking back, that's how I did it too. Also make sure they don't drink too much before bed.
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Old 08-05-2013, 11:35
benjamini
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Maybe some mums think the child will have a blinding flash of light and will suddenly remove its nappy and be toilet trained.
Its not called trained for nothing! It does require a fair bit of time and patience as Im sure most mums know!!
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Old 08-05-2013, 11:35
SeasideLady
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Is this a new thing, or has it always been the case but not reported?


My children had to be toilet trained before the nursery took them. They were taken into nursery at 2years 8 months.
You couldn't put your child into playgroup here unless they were out of nappies - that was age 3. No exception, so that spurred us mums to crack on and get our kids sorted in time. In my mum's day when there was only terry towelling nappies then you couldn't wait to get started because you were sick to death of washing those. Children need to be trained to do everything by the time they start school, even at 4˝ - how to go to the toilet, how to use a knife and fork properly, how to dress themselves. Unless your child has special needs this is easily done if you're proper parents and devote time and attention to your kids - simple. If you're laid back and think it's all up to the child to do what they want at their own pace, or that it's the job of the childminder / teacher, then you're just going to have problems. I'm in my late 40's and despair at the way standards and attitudes have changed in the 20 years since I had my kids - going to school in nappies is just terrible !
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Old 08-05-2013, 11:36
Stormwave UK
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We were really lucky with our eldest, now 6. He decided when he was 2 to just potty train himself. No wet nights, no accidents, just went perfectly.

Hoping we have as much luck with our second.

However, the nursery did require them to be potty trained before going, so we would have had to enforce it before then if he hadn't adjusted naturally.
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Old 08-05-2013, 11:58
Miss C. DeVille
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I think part of the trouble is with the nappies these days the child still feels dry and comfortable when wet. Years ago with the towelling nappies as soon as they wet themselves they knew about it so it was in their interest to get to the potty or toilet unless they wanted to sit in a sodden nappy.
Also kids these days seem to have a bottle with them permenantly even during the night. There seems to be no set times to drink or be put on a potty.
My son had to be dry before going to play school at three years old and apart from the odd accident he was.
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Old 08-05-2013, 12:01
Rorschach
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Maybe some mums think the child will have a blinding flash of light and will suddenly remove its nappy and be toilet trained.
Its not called trained for nothing! It does require a fair bit of time and patience as Im sure most mums know!!
Ahem...and dads.

Anyway...Although, in part it sort of does.

What I mean is that we spent weeks trying to train my daughter and it just never seemed to stick, then one day SHAZAM!

She suddenly got it and kept on getting it and never had any accidents again (apart from a couple of over excitement or dodgy tummy moments).
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Old 08-05-2013, 12:06
benjamini
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Ahem...and dads.

Anyway...Although, in part it sort of does.

What I mean is that we spent weeks trying to train my daughter and it just never seemed to stick, then one day SHAZAM!

She suddenly got it and kept on getting it and never had any accidents again (apart from a couple of over excitement or dodgy tummy moments).
Good point
The shamaz moment can only come if the weeks of training has been done tho. Was the point I was trying to make.
My generation were go it alone toilet training mums.
My husband never once changed a nappy or in any other way contribute towards childrens toileting.
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Old 08-05-2013, 12:12
Mrs Finkelstein
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Maybe mums are not getting the help and support they need from health visitors, that my generation got.
Not just toilet trining but anything baby/toddler related.
I have never ever heard that 7 is a magic age for children to learn bowel or bladder control.
BIB - just to clarify this is regarding night time bladder control. Within the HV team I worked in we advised parents to not try toilet training until at least age 2 (unless the child was showing clear signals before that) and that age 3 was a more realistic age.

Age 7 is when night time bedwetting becomes a 'medical issue' and referrals could be made for assessment for nocturnal enuresis (bedwetting) and alarms/medication could be given to try and treat it.
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Old 08-05-2013, 12:13
Button62
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Maybe mums are not getting the help and support they need from health visitors, that my generation got.
Not just toilet trining but anything baby/toddler related.
I have never ever heard that 7 is a magic age for children to learn bowel or bladder control.

I think it's exactly the opposite. Someone else posted that the trend is now for it all to be child led and I think that's ridiculous. I'm afraid I would never have done what my HV told me just because it's the latest trend.

Children need to be led by their parents ..... the adults in that particular relationship .... who usually know what's best. Both my girls were out of nappies long before they went to nursery. It's called patience and perseverance, something seemingly lacking nowadays.
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Old 08-05-2013, 12:17
Pull2Open
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I think it's exactly the opposite. Someone else posted that the trend is now for it all to be child led and I think that's ridiculous. I'm afraid I would never have done what my HV told me just because it's the latest trend.

Children need to be led by their parents ..... the adults in that particular relationship .... who usually know what's best. Both my girls were out of nappies long before they went to nursery. It's called patience and perseverance, something seemingly lacking nowadays.
Oh I don't think its lacking! In fact I'm sure that the frustration attached to toilet training is the same as it always has been! Some kids do it earlier than others and some parent easier than other its not a new thing! I do this think that it comes down to viewing the past through rose tinted specs in many ways!
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Old 08-05-2013, 12:24
Button62
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Oh I don't think its lacking! In fact I'm sure that the frustration attached to toilet training is the same as it always has been! Some kids do it earlier than others and some parent easier than other its not a new thing! I do this think that it comes down to viewing the past through rose tinted specs in many ways!


Not in my case. I know for a fact that my girls were dry long before nursery and were definitely not wearing nappies to bed aged 4 ! Nor were there any children starting Primary School in nappies, it was unheard of. So what has gone wrong ? Are children getting more slow development wise .... or is it something to do with the parents getting lazier ?
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Old 08-05-2013, 12:26
cah
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You couldn't put your child into playgroup here unless they were out of nappies - that was age 3. No exception, so that spurred us mums to crack on and get our kids sorted in time. In my mum's day when there was only terry towelling nappies then you couldn't wait to get started because you were sick to death of washing those. Children need to be trained to do everything by the time they start school, even at 4˝ - how to go to the toilet, how to use a knife and fork properly, how to dress themselves. Unless your child has special needs this is easily done if you're proper parents and devote time and attention to your kids - simple. If you're laid back and think it's all up to the child to do what they want at their own pace, or that it's the job of the childminder / teacher, then you're just going to have problems. I'm in my late 40's and despair at the way standards and attitudes have changed in the 20 years since I had my kids - going to school in nappies is just terrible !
I agree ,My kids are all grown up now ,youngest is 20 eldest 30 ,but when they were young all had to be dry by Nursery ,Mine were out of day time Nappies at two and by three all four of them were dry at night .

It was the same for the majority of children i knew all them years ago ,yes it took time and patience and obviously there was the odd accident along the way ,so it baffles me now when you hear of HV advising not to potty train until a much later age than we were told to train our kiddies 20/30 years ago
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Old 08-05-2013, 12:32
seawitch
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It is very easy to label parents "lazy" when there may well be complex underlying problems why the child isn't toilet trained.

I've had personal experience of this as my son has a form of CP and I had terrible problems trying to get him toilet trained. I got so stressed out that I had a clinical depression and this was made worse by having social workers and my son's teachers on my back saying I must "try harder" and "think how much nicer it would be to have a son who is toilet trained."

Grrr
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Old 08-05-2013, 12:32
cah
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[/b]

Not in my case. I know for a fact that my girls were dry long before nursery and were definitely not wearing nappies to bed aged 4 ! Nor were there any children starting Primary School in nappies, it was unheard of. So what has gone wrong ? Are children getting more slow development wise .... or is it something to do with the parents getting lazier ?
I've just said much the same Button ,my eldest son now 30 was dry in the day not long after his 1st birthday like you all four of mine were out of nappies long before nursery ,they were all dry by 2 in the day and they didn't wear nappies to bed after 3

Like you say it was unheard of for any child to go to school in nappies ,
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Old 08-05-2013, 12:34
Pull2Open
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[/b]

Not in my case. I know for a fact that my girls were dry long before nursery and were definitely not wearing nappies to bed aged 4 ! Nor were there any children starting Primary School in nappies, it was unheard of. So what has gone wrong ? Are children getting more slow development wise .... or is it something to do with the parents getting lazier ?
Well, I can say the same for my children apart from my daughter who is still wet at night (which I suspect is now a medical problem as my other older children were dry much earlier and have applied the same training techniques). We also don't have children starting school in nappies! I think the OP subject is the exception rather than the rule! I suspect that nothing has really changed, nothing has gone wrong, life is still progressing at its own methodical pace!
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Old 08-05-2013, 12:38
benjamini
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Futher info
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-16906442

I do think it is a problem that is increasing.
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Old 08-05-2013, 12:39
cah
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It is very easy to label parents "lazy" when there may well be complex underlying problems why the child isn't toilet trained.

I've had personal experience of this as my son has a form of CP and I had terrible problems trying to get him toilet trained. I got so stressed out that I had a clinical depression and this was made worse by having social workers and my son's teachers on my back saying I must "try harder" and "think how much nicer it would be to have a son who is toilet trained."

Grrr
A child with a disability is understandable though ,i'm talking about a ''normal'' child with no medical reason .In your case i'd have told the social workers/Teachers where to go ,nd didn't they think i'd love it if my child was as able as others

My Grandson is 4 and due to the kind of Autisim he's got has no verbal skills at all and so as of yet as been unable to be toilet trained as until he's been taught the signs is unable to tell when he wants to go
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Old 08-05-2013, 12:42
SeasideLady
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It is very easy to label parents "lazy" when there may well be complex underlying problems why the child isn't toilet trained.

I've had personal experience of this as my son has a form of CP and I had terrible problems trying to get him toilet trained.

Grrr
As I said in my post, children with special needs aren't going to be straightforward. Anybody would expect such children to reach development milestones that bit later, and sometimes much later / never. Social workers should have known better, but don't get me started on social workers - I have a big bee in my bonnet about them.
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Old 08-05-2013, 12:48
talentedmonkey
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Maybe we are looking at the wrong issues here, the age of starting school should be looked at. Children start school far too young the youngest they should be is 6 or even 7
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Old 08-05-2013, 12:48
Keiō Line
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My grandchildren’s nursery had a clause that by four they have to be out of nappies. Then someone told them this policy discriminated against people from poorer backgrounds.

The spin was that poor parents could not travel as much as richer ones to see their family and friends and learn parenting skills.

The same "can't be arsed" attitude which result in them being poor, results in their children being so backward.

I was shocked when my daughter told me that some mums from the state school actually pick up and drop of children still wearing their pyjamas!!!!
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Old 08-05-2013, 12:50
Pull2Open
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Maybe we are looking at the wrong issues here, the age of starting school should be looked at. Children start school far too young the youngest they should be is 6 or even 7
Totally agree with you there! Many countries on mainland Europe consider our early schooling system quite barbaric!
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Old 08-05-2013, 12:51
Pull2Open
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My grandchildren’s nursery had a clause that by four they have to be out of nappies. Then someone told them this policy discriminated against people from poorer backgrounds.

The spin was that poor parents could not travel as much as richer ones to see their family and friends and learn parenting skills.

The same "can't be arsed" attitude which result in them being poor, results in their children being so backward.

I was shocked when my daughter told me that some mums from the state school actually pick up and drop of children still wearing their pyjamas!!!!
That's just ridiculous!
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Old 08-05-2013, 12:53
Soupbowl
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I would be ashamed of myself if my children were not trained by the time they started school. I literally could not believe my ears when I first heard stories of kids going to school in nappies. The parents of those kids fit the stereotype.
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Old 08-05-2013, 13:01
benjamini
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Maybe we are looking at the wrong issues here, the age of starting school should be looked at. Children start school far too young the youngest they should be is 6 or even 7
So what exactly are you saying. Yes to nursery but no to school. Or no to any form of nursery?
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Old 08-05-2013, 13:04
StaceySky
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My little sister is 3, she will be 4 in July.
She is starting school this September and she is currently at playgroup. She's still in nappies, however we have been potty training her since the end of last year. She's wearing trainer pants, so if she does have accidents then at least it wouldn't be too bad. However the last couple of weeks we be putting normal pants on her. No matter how many times we tell her to use the toilet/potty, she would never go. We keep asking her if she needs to go, she always says no. We even had to place her on the toilet/potty but she just has a tantrum when we do this. She always does it in her trainer pants/normal pants. She never learns.
We are getting worried now as she is due to start school this year. Is there any advice out there?
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