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Is Poetry a Dead Art? (Part 4)


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Old 03-07-2013, 23:49
mr. mustard
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That's great Musty but I feel I haven't done anything to deserve a ta .
I was veering towards my alteration, but if you'd preferred the original line I might have had doubts Sometimes poems just need a touch on the tiller to improve them

So ta
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Old 03-07-2013, 23:53
sandydune
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I was veering towards my alteration, but if you'd preferred the original line I might have had doubts Sometimes poems just need a touch on the tiller to improve them

So ta
Ok, I accept your ta and I give you a
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Old 04-07-2013, 01:03
daznov11
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The typing of anxious fingers,
Status now rejecting all theoretically,
As those untold feelings that did linger,
Revealed with drunken diplomacy.

Flatmate does regret her departure,
Cause she left the red and milk tray,
But not as much as him the morning after,
As faces go rosy in the cold light of day.

No point in hitting the delete button,
Just blame it on the alcohol,
Though there goes the whole not a glutton,
But seriously what is the protocol?

A lining in the cloud does indeed exist,
no need to keep the pretence of a happy coexist.
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Old 04-07-2013, 18:01
Biz
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I think this demonstrates why I avoid Facebook like the plague Daznov.
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Old 06-07-2013, 11:27
mr. mustard
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No point in hitting the delete button,
Just blame it on the alcohol,
I agree with Biz about Facebook - 'Twitter ye not' as Frankie Howerd almost said I enjoyed this tale of a splintered relationship very much. Nice one Daznov

I haven't abandoned the thread, it's just been a very strange week and events conspired to stop me writing. Normal service will be resumed shortly, no tennis pun intended
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Old 06-07-2013, 12:50
archiver
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Open Windows.

Slowly driven quite mad by their incessant bleating.
Open windows to cool infernal heating.
Dog with squeaky toy. Loud mouthed little boy.
Reverse protection warning. Red mist forming.

Oooh Eee Oooh Ah Ah as loud as it can go.
I may kill someone today. Someone I don't know.
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Old 06-07-2013, 16:26
archiver
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Life On Mars.

It's so quiet on Mars.
No children or cars.
No noisy machines
or baby screams.

No sign of life.
No nonsense or strife
or crazy denials
for millions of miles.

No regrets.
Pure blue sunsets
and star filled nights.

No return flights
could tempt me away.
Right here I'll stay.

Can you see me waving?
I'm not even craving
your company.
At last I'm free.
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Old 06-07-2013, 16:29
mr. mustard
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Open Windows.
Dog with squeaky toy. Loud mouthed little boy.
Reverse protection warning. Red mist forming.
If I've interpreted this right John, it's about excessive noise levels and the grinding irritation that goes with the problem. As such, the poem struck a chord with me. I've written outdoors for ages now, so I frequent a lot of tearooms, restaurants and quiet country pubs. Out of necessity, writing is a solitary past-time for me. I find it impossible to do so in company. However, some quiet background chatter and the sense of life going on around me turns it into a more pleasant experience. The only thing that ruins the ambience are parents oblivious of their own noisy children. Ignorant of how screaming and tantrums can affect others, they sit there with no desire or need to shut their kids up. They must be immune to the awful racket the rest of the customers suffer. Or maybe I'm the only person who can't stand the sound of screaming brats. The real brats are the parents though.

A great write and one I could associate with strongly.
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Old 06-07-2013, 16:34
mr. mustard
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Life On Mars.
Can you see me waving?
I'm not even craving
your company.
Another excellent ode, I love this In one more crazy thread coincidence, not ten minutes ago I finished Starman, a superb biography of David Bowie. He of course had a big hit with Life On Mars? I enjoyed the last verse in particular John, that's a great kiss-off and up yours moment
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Old 06-07-2013, 16:56
archiver
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Truly odd that. If I wasn't a complete sceptic I'd be wondering if all (would be) poets are connected somehow.

Glad you enjoyed them. Writing the second one certainly helped me work around the problems highlighted in the first...
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Old 06-07-2013, 20:51
mr. mustard
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Truly odd that. If I wasn't a complete sceptic I'd be wondering if all (would be) poets are connected somehow.
It's very strange, I agree At times two poems have come in simultaneously on the same topic with both writers unaware of the other's intentions I wondered if there was a connection between Open Windows and Life On Mars, as each of them refers to noise and quietness in some way
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Old 06-07-2013, 21:46
Biz
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Hello Musty and John. I would try to make an intelligent comment, but I'm just too hot and tired so I'll have to try another day. Goodnight. :yawn: sorry
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Old 06-07-2013, 22:59
mr. mustard
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Hello Musty and John. I would try to make an intelligent comment, but I'm just too hot and tired so I'll have to try another day. Goodnight. :yawn: sorry
Hi Biz, it's really humid here - I've opened all the windows I hope you get a good night, I know I won't
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Old 07-07-2013, 09:07
mr. mustard
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Legendary Britain

When glades are full of bursting sprigs,
Around and in between
That figure leaping over twigs
Is young Jack-in-the-Green.

A witch who ruled this wood myths tell
Lives silently, for she
Transformed herself with one last spell
Into an elder tree.

If you observe small beams at night
They’re only fairie trails,
The pearly-dewdrop silver light
Described in old folk tales.

A circle called the Giant's Dance
Colossal men would bring,
A wizard kept them in a trance
While each one raised the ring.

And as the May Queen‘s theme is played
Her hobby horse ahead
Shall caper in the big parade,
John Barleycorn is dead.

The tearful elves left times of change,
On ships downcast but free
They sailed from Britain, out of range
To some forgotten sea.


©
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Old 07-07-2013, 13:09
Biz
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Legendary Britain

©
I could do with a few of those magical figures to carry out a few tasks for me, because every time I undertake any activity at all away from a fan on maximum, I melt..........and a bit of rain at night wouldn't go amiss.

I hope you slept better than I did. Come back legendary British weather............please.
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Old 07-07-2013, 15:40
mr. mustard
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I could do with a few of those magical figures to carry out a few tasks for me, because every time I undertake any activity at all away from a fan on maximum, I melt..........and a bit of rain at night wouldn't go amiss.
I'm sure they'd help out if you summoned them Biz It's incredibly hot, I have to stay in when it's like this. I'm getting back to watching the final now - I still find Andy Murray a hard character to like
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Old 07-07-2013, 16:19
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Legendary Britain
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Blinding stuff Musty.

From the depths of your limitless imagination.

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Old 07-07-2013, 17:04
Biz
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It's incredibly hot, I have to stay in when it's like this. I'm getting back to watching the final now - I still find Andy Murray a hard character to like
Even in the shade, it's uncomfortably hot. How they manage to play tennis I can't imagine. I've watched two brief bits of this final, and just seen Murray win a game - I could be wrong.

I find Murray too petulant. I'll leave you to watch the rest of it.
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Old 07-07-2013, 17:34
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I did watch it to the end, but I feel very sorry for the loser because he is a brilliant player.
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Old 07-07-2013, 18:32
sandydune
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Cold drinks and ice cream has got me through the day so far.
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Old 07-07-2013, 18:34
sandydune
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I did watch it to the end, but I feel very sorry for the loser because he is a brilliant player.
It was a good tennis match with a few moments of suspense.
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Old 07-07-2013, 19:16
Biz
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Cold drinks and ice cream has got me through the day so far.
It was a good tennis match with a few moments of suspense.
I haven't been watching Wimbledon this year, and couldn't have watched the whole of the final, but luckily I just chanced on the final part. Too much tension for me, I'm exhausted just watching them.

Can I have a lick of your ice cream? Please.
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Old 07-07-2013, 21:34
sandydune
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I haven't been watching Wimbledon this year, and couldn't have watched the whole of the final, but luckily I just chanced on the final part. Too much tension for me, I'm exhausted just watching them.

Can I have a lick of your ice cream? Please.
Today was the first match I watched all the way through and it was quite intense but a good result in the end.

You can have some Vienetta if you like.
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Old 07-07-2013, 22:17
mr. mustard
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Blinding stuff Musty.

From the depths of your limitless imagination.
Thanks very much Troy I've since made a few very minor changes to the poem, making it flow better in places Apparently The Giant's Dance was an archaic name for Stonehenge. There are lots of legends about a race of giants who lived long ago. I guess it was one explanation for our most famous ancient site being there.

I'm glad everyone enjoyed the tennis, I found it completely gripping
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Old 07-07-2013, 22:29
Biz
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You can have some Vienetta if you like.
Oooh yes please. It's years since I had some Vienetta.
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