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Is Poetry a Dead Art? (Part 4)


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Old 24-01-2014, 22:26
sandydune
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Originally Posted by mr. mustard
I don't have a rug any more but that's still good advice
Thanks, enjoy your weekend
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Old 25-01-2014, 00:43
mr. mustard
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The Blacksmith

The Blacksmith toiled on nothing less
Than space within the hour,
His anvil was the nothingness,
His hammer was the power.

He smelted matter long ago
Until a darkness bitter
Was brightened by a sudden glow
And light began to glitter.

The hammer struck, an aim so sure
When sparks began to settle
He'd made the stars forever more,
Unending points of metal.

His workshop holds a vast machine
Where furnaces stay hidden,
Those other forges are not seen,
Onlookers are forbidden.

Where orange molten rivers run
The work is never over;
He wrought the planets and the sun,
He welds the supernova.

The Blacksmith even made us too,
Burned iron on hot coals
Then added love and poured it through
The stardust in our souls.


©
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Old 25-01-2014, 00:48
mr. mustard
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Thanks, enjoy your weekend
Ta Sandy, I shall More heavy rain's forecast though

The Blacksmith has gone through about six versions! Some poems are just like that, they flow out alright but have imperfections. For the collection I'm finalising these for good. It's very easy to over-egg the pudding, which I've done before. Minor changes are generally what's needed, if any.
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Old 25-01-2014, 13:19
Biz
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Yes! It's as credible as any other theory. Ripping yarn anyway.
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Old 25-01-2014, 14:14
mr. mustard
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Yes! It's as credible as any other theory. Ripping yarn anyway.
Thanks Biz - the poem needs an open mind to be read properly
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Old 25-01-2014, 14:15
mr. mustard
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Precious Jewellery

With crumbs of comfort you may rest
But gems of hope are best.


©
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Old 25-01-2014, 15:35
mr. mustard
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I, Banana

Unable to grow straighter,
It's funny how I tend
To curve both now and later
For I banana, bend.

While apples shine in Eden
And patients snack on grapes,
I'm sold from Maine to Sweden
And also feed the apes.

I keep emotions guarded,
A fruit without a pip
But if I am discarded
Be careful you don’t slip.

When I hear Mellow Yellow
By Donovan, it’s true
I want to thank the fellow,
Bananarama too.

Unlike a stitched-up kipper
There’s something more I feel;
My coat has got a zipper
For anyone to peel.

I'll never match James Garner
Or Brad Pitt’s manly waist,
What pleases I, banana
Is how you love my taste.


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Old 25-01-2014, 16:46
Biz
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- the poem needs an open mind to be read properly
Where can I buy one?
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Old 25-01-2014, 17:54
Biz
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I read that with an open mind...........
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Old 25-01-2014, 19:15
mr. mustard
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Where can I buy one?
I'm not sure, they're quite rare these days Biz

In many ways you and others on the thread have been my guide. I recalled how previously in Banana you were baffled by the Velvet Underground record cover. It features the said fruit, but where one's puzzled others are sure to be. The verse has now copped it

In that sense DS is invaluable
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Old 25-01-2014, 20:40
Biz
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I recalled how previously in Banana you were baffled by the Velvet Underground record cover. It features the said fruit, but where one's puzzled others are sure to be. The verse has now copped it
I feel very guilty about that - you shouldn't be influenced by my abysmal musical knowledge.
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Old 25-01-2014, 21:17
mr. mustard
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I feel very guilty about that - you shouldn't be influenced by my abysmal musical knowledge.
It wasn't just that Biz - in part the poem was too cluttered. The verse after the Velvet Underground one started with 'Although I'm no head-tripper'. That seemed clumsy as did what followed. But it gave me:

Unlike a stiched-up kipper etc.

So don't feel guilty, you helped to improve the poem
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Old 25-01-2014, 22:05
Biz
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It wasn't just that Biz - in part the poem was too cluttered. The verse after the Velvet Underground one started with 'Although I'm no head-tripper'. That seemed clumsy as did what followed. But it gave me:

Unlike a stitched-up kipper etc.
Nothing wrong with being a pefectionist.
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Old 25-01-2014, 22:24
mr. mustard
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Nothing wrong with being a pefectionist.
I can't help it Biz, I've got OCD. My books are in perfect order on the shelves. Not only are they in order by size, some are even colour-coded.

But it helps to keep a tidy house I guess
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Old 25-01-2014, 23:04
Biz
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I wouldn't say I have OCD, but I do like things to be organized. To save having to tidy up I always put things away as I go along. I couldn't live in a muddle.
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Old 25-01-2014, 23:56
mr. mustard
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Duffle-Coated Hannah

Duffle-coated Hannah
Doesn’t run with any pack,
Effects a bookish manner
With a rucksack on her back.

Don’t go by the appearance,
Hannah isn’t really green,
For pubs she has full clearance
And for music she plays Keane.

Turned nineteen in September
When a boy and cider brought
An unexpected ember
Of a love she never sought.

Her dad’s a rich town planner
And her mum acquires Spode
But duffle-coated Hannah
Goes her own way down the road.


©
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Old 26-01-2014, 10:43
Biz
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Duffle-Coated Hannah

©
Each to his/her own.
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Old 26-01-2014, 13:58
mr. mustard
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Each to his/her own.
Ta Biz - a poem inspired yesterday when I drove past a girl who looked liked a student. I bet she'll never know a casual stroll got her onto DS
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Old 26-01-2014, 16:00
Biz
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Ta Biz - a poem inspired yesterday when I drove past a girl who looked liked a student. I bet she'll never know a casual stroll got her onto DS
Hahaha! It's amazing what can come out of "standing on the corner watching all the girls go by".........or in this case driving past as girls go by.

I'm sure she'd by amazed and thrilled. Her parents might well be flattered too.
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Old 27-01-2014, 00:04
mr. mustard
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Hahaha! It's amazing what can come out of "standing on the corner watching all the girls go by"
I remember that song from when I was little - I couldn't stand it However, my Nan taught me Bye Bye Blackbird, which I loved

Off-topic
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Old 27-01-2014, 03:14
McMahauld
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Duffle-Coated Hannah
©
Very nice Mr Mustard - with a dash of Nash, eh?

An interesting character to set a story around perhaps?

Don't judge a book by its cover. She could well have
been a policewoman in plain clothes, with colleagues
hiding in unmarked cars nearby, ready for the dreaded
'Double Duffle Killer' to slow down and try to entice
her into his car. Hey - just as well you drove past!
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Old 27-01-2014, 17:39
Biz
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Very nice Mr Mustard - with a dash of Nash, eh?

An interesting character to set a story around perhaps?
Is that what's called lateral thinking McMahauld? Or maybe it's more 'now' to call it thinking outside the box.
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Old 27-01-2014, 19:16
McMahauld
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Is that what's called lateral thinking McMahauld? Or maybe
it's more 'now' to call it thinking outside the box.
Not quite sure, Biz...

"Lateral thinking is solving problems through an indirect and creative
approach, using reasoning that is not immediately obvious and involving
ideas that may not be obtainable by using only traditional step-by-step logic."

Wikipedia

... I don't have a 'problem' with it.

Oh! - I know - let's call it 'literal thinking'. How's that?
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Old 27-01-2014, 19:18
mr. mustard
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Don't judge a book by its cover. She could well have
been a policewoman in plain clothes, with colleagues
hiding in unmarked cars nearby, ready for the dreaded
'Double Duffle Killer'
'A dash of Nash' is a great term Mac If anything, the poem was another Betjeman tribute, he's one of my heroes.

I'm glad you have a good imagination - the Double Duffle Killer would suit Midomer Murders

PS Call me Musty, it's less formal
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Old 27-01-2014, 19:20
mr. mustard
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Time for a new page
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