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Is Poetry a Dead Art? (Part 4) |
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#1351 |
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mr. mustard
I don't have a rug any more but that's still good advice
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#1352 |
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Pools of sorrow, waves of joy
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The Blacksmith
The Blacksmith toiled on nothing less Than space within the hour, His anvil was the nothingness, His hammer was the power. He smelted matter long ago Until a darkness bitter Was brightened by a sudden glow And light began to glitter. The hammer struck, an aim so sure When sparks began to settle He'd made the stars forever more, Unending points of metal. His workshop holds a vast machine Where furnaces stay hidden, Those other forges are not seen, Onlookers are forbidden. Where orange molten rivers run The work is never over; He wrought the planets and the sun, He welds the supernova. The Blacksmith even made us too, Burned iron on hot coals Then added love and poured it through The stardust in our souls. © |
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#1353 |
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Quote:
Thanks, enjoy your weekend
![]() More heavy rain's forecast though ![]() The Blacksmith has gone through about six versions! Some poems are just like that, they flow out alright but have imperfections. For the collection I'm finalising these for good. It's very easy to over-egg the pudding, which I've done before. Minor changes are generally what's needed, if any. |
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#1354 |
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Quote:
The Blacksmith
©
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#1355 |
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Quote:
Yes! It's as credible as any other theory. Ripping yarn anyway.
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#1356 |
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Precious Jewellery
With crumbs of comfort you may rest But gems of hope are best. © |
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#1357 |
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I, Banana
Unable to grow straighter, It's funny how I tend To curve both now and later For I banana, bend. While apples shine in Eden And patients snack on grapes, I'm sold from Maine to Sweden And also feed the apes. I keep emotions guarded, A fruit without a pip But if I am discarded Be careful you don’t slip. When I hear Mellow Yellow By Donovan, it’s true I want to thank the fellow, Bananarama too. Unlike a stitched-up kipper There’s something more I feel; My coat has got a zipper For anyone to peel. I'll never match James Garner Or Brad Pitt’s manly waist, What pleases I, banana Is how you love my taste. © |
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#1358 |
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Quote:
- the poem needs an open mind to be read properly
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#1359 |
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Quote:
I, Banana
© |
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#1360 |
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Quote:
Where can I buy one?
![]() ![]() In many ways you and others on the thread have been my guide. I recalled how previously in Banana you were baffled by the Velvet Underground record cover. It features the said fruit, but where one's puzzled others are sure to be. The verse has now copped it ![]() In that sense DS is invaluable
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#1361 |
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Quote:
I recalled how previously in Banana you were baffled by the Velvet Underground record cover. It features the said fruit, but where one's puzzled others are sure to be. The verse has now copped it
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#1362 |
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Quote:
I feel very guilty about that - you shouldn't be influenced by my abysmal musical knowledge.
![]() Unlike a stiched-up kipper etc. So don't feel guilty, you helped to improve the poem
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#1363 |
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Quote:
It wasn't just that Biz - in part the poem was too cluttered. The verse after the Velvet Underground one started with 'Although I'm no head-tripper'. That seemed clumsy as did what followed. But it gave me:
Unlike a stitched-up kipper etc.
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#1364 |
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Quote:
Nothing wrong with being a pefectionist.
![]() But it helps to keep a tidy house I guess
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#1365 |
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I wouldn't say I have OCD, but I do like things to be organized. To save having to tidy up I always put things away as I go along. I couldn't live in a muddle.
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#1366 |
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Duffle-Coated Hannah
Duffle-coated Hannah Doesn’t run with any pack, Effects a bookish manner With a rucksack on her back. Don’t go by the appearance, Hannah isn’t really green, For pubs she has full clearance And for music she plays Keane. Turned nineteen in September When a boy and cider brought An unexpected ember Of a love she never sought. Her dad’s a rich town planner And her mum acquires Spode But duffle-coated Hannah Goes her own way down the road. © |
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#1367 |
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#1368 |
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Quote:
Each to his/her own.
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#1369 |
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Quote:
Ta Biz - a poem inspired yesterday when I drove past a girl who looked liked a student. I bet she'll never know a casual stroll got her onto DS
![]() ![]() I'm sure she'd by amazed and thrilled. Her parents might well be flattered too.
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#1370 |
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Quote:
Hahaha! It's amazing what can come out of "standing on the corner watching all the girls go by"
However, my Nan taught me Bye Bye Blackbird, which I loved ![]() Off-topic
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#1371 |
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Quote:
Duffle-Coated Hannah
© An interesting character to set a story around perhaps? Don't judge a book by its cover. She could well have been a policewoman in plain clothes, with colleagues hiding in unmarked cars nearby, ready for the dreaded 'Double Duffle Killer' to slow down and try to entice her into his car. Hey - just as well you drove past!
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#1372 |
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Quote:
Very nice Mr Mustard - with a dash of Nash, eh?
An interesting character to set a story around perhaps?
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#1373 |
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Quote:
Is that what's called lateral thinking McMahauld? Or maybe
it's more 'now' to call it thinking outside the box. ![]() "Lateral thinking is solving problems through an indirect and creative approach, using reasoning that is not immediately obvious and involving ideas that may not be obtainable by using only traditional step-by-step logic." Wikipedia ... I don't have a 'problem' with it. Oh! - I know - let's call it 'literal thinking'. How's that?
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#1374 |
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Quote:
Don't judge a book by its cover. She could well have
been a policewoman in plain clothes, with colleagues hiding in unmarked cars nearby, ready for the dreaded 'Double Duffle Killer' 'A dash of Nash' is a great term Mac If anything, the poem was another Betjeman tribute, he's one of my heroes. I'm glad you have a good imagination - the Double Duffle Killer would suit Midomer Murders ![]() PS Call me Musty, it's less formal
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#1375 |
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Time for a new page
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More heavy rain's forecast though 