Dear Simon,
If I promise to say fantastic to every act can I be one of your highly paid judges.
Old Wally Walliams says every act is fan-tas-tic and apart from smarming around Cowbell does little else..

If I promise to say "you made it seem effortless" after every act can I also, Simon, please, oh lord, oh master of talent.

I didn't like it.

... I LOVED it!