EPISODE FIVE 29/38:
Zack wakens early needing a wee and sees an exhausted mona staring out the window waiting for Shirl to return. He tells her to get some rest and says the landlady can’t stay away for ever. Mona proclaims that she can’t sleep and lists all her ailments, “I’m physically sore from this deception!” she exclaims. Zack jokes if it’s her fingers it’ll be down to her constant typing. Mona turns around to roll her eyes at him unaware that he’s in his boxers. She squeals and covers her eyes, “ffs Zack put some clothes on!!!” Zack heads to the bathroom while she tweets about her latest ordeal keeping her eyes peeled for short haired people with boots at the same time.
Lotty is concerned when she sees dan has fallen back into his depression mode. She asks him what’s up, stating that she thought he had gotten over the troll incident. Dan remains quiet but asks her to prescribe him some sleeping pills. She says they’re only a short-term remedy and he should look at more natural remedies. Lotty then drops a clanger……..she’s going to see her husband today, he wants them to give their marriage another go. This lowers dan’s mood even further.
Los.kav goes to his counselling session hoping Lauren won’t be there this time but he’s thwarted when she arrives in late. His session goes well and on leaving the room, he asks Lauren if they can meet away from the Square. They need to talk!
Zack is pleased when vald calls round. She is shocked to see mona staying with him but he tells her that they have put their past differences behind them, mona’s face still pressed against the window pane. Talk soon turns to Toni’s predicament and Zack voices his concerns saying he can’t go to visit her and that he rang up this morning and was told that they found objects that she could use to harm herself while searching her room, “She won’t be home for Christmas. What about when she does get out? I worry that she’ll be left to fend for herself when she gets out.” Vald tries to give him hope telling him dullagj2 has come on leaps and bounds since entering rehab.
Also tonight, Vaslav’s morale is at an all-time low with re-introduction of the old smilies but can he afford to give up his job as a MOD? IanMandy thinks Jake is talking about him when he sees him whispering stuff in the other waiters’ ears. Mr. Ender laughs to himself about last night’s events but is also fearful that she’ll come back tonight. The market is astonished by Tracey’s chattiness, is there a new man in her life? Gluteus Maximus aka Max enters the Rear of the Year contest.
Dan sees Bevis on the stall but he’s unsure whether he should tell him who Gary is. Jealous of his flirting with Peter, who is working on the nearby fruit stall, dan says that Bevis should stick to men his own age. An embarrassed Bevis is secretly seething but he grits his teeth. Bevis later gets his revenge when Red asks if he’s seen dan. Bevis says he saw him enter the café.
Zack and vald reminisce about joyof_pat and her love of the Masoods, Zack says that he hopes she returns from Yorkshire one day. He asks if she’s seen catsmeow but vald tells him she’s returned to Pakistan with her quadruplets. Vald says she has to go now because her lodger, los.kav, is also causing her much distress, “I’m afraid he’s going to return to drinking. He won’t eat and barely leaves the house. He hasn’t been back here since the Vic commotion.” Zack says he heard about that and says she should support him, “It can’t be easy what he’s going through, let him know that you are there for him!”
Los.kav is upset when Lauren doesn’t turn up while passing the pub he’s tempted to enter but he resists and heads home. Back on the Square, Dan attempts to hide behind a newspaper when he sees Red but his attempt proves futile. Red pulls the paper from his hands and throws it on the floor. Red grabs him by the neck and warns him if he doesn’t receive by a payment by this evening, he’ll have to face the consequences. Dan proclaims that he’s unemployed and will pay him when he finds a job but Red gives him no heed. Marie threatens to show her birthing video if they don’t take it outside. Red sighs “I’m going, I’m going, keep your knickers on!”
Vald’s on her way out when mona bolts past her, “Shirl’s back, she’s back!” she proclaims running towards the pub. The camera pans to black boots getting out of a black cab, Phil and Sharon are outside the pub admiring it. Shirl hisses that they won’t be getting their hands on it. Sharon nods to Phil as if he should say something. Phil turns towards Shirl and tells her him and Sharon are an item again, “God you two are one and off more than a light switch, do I look like I give a fcuk!”, she stubs her fag as she enters the pub laughing at mo mouse who is in the gutter, “Ah the fag ash breath/voddy/woo-woo breath” he cries. Mona stands in awe tweeting, “OMG, the look he just gave Shirl! eek” Vald and Zack approach to make sure she doesn’t make a scene. Vald isn’t prepared for sorcha’s head to pop up from TK’s plaque, she’s been cleaning it but vald didn’t recognise her from behind. “How can you live with yourself, you old trout!” she hisses, “You know who killed my TK but you’re happy to let them get away with it!” she squeals. Everyone looks towards vald.
Duff duff: A teary eyed vald stands still wishing the ground would swallow her up.
EPISODE SIX 30/38: 5 Hander
Sharon and Phil wait at the bar to get served. Shirley’s in no mood for them having just returned from her sister’s and asks mona to serve them. Mona shutters at the thought and screams she’s busy, tweeting away with much excitement, “im not gonna b her skivvy ne more, she knows id never serve them ugh!” An impatient Phil makes his way behind the bar and serves himself.
Shirl is appalled by the state of upstairs and leaves an angry voicemail on Jay’s phone, regretting leaving the teens in charge. Mona creeps upstairs and isn’t sure whether it’s the best time to confront her but she needs to know the truth…
Phil and Sharon reminisce about the Vic, attention soon turns to the present and Sharon says that she doesn’t want to repeat her past mistakes. She wants to make the Square her home and give Denny the stable family life he deserves. She speaks of his need for a father figure in his life and Phil begins to wonder if she’s doing this for the right reasons…
Shirl is no mood for mona and asks her to cover at the bar, sorcha won’t return to work and it’s priscilla’s day off. Mona says that she should get more staff, Shirl proclaims that she’s trying to make a profit. Mona laughs that she thought she was leaving town anyway, “you got axed, didn’t you?” Shirley rubs her forehead, “alright who squealed?” Mona gasps…
Phil asks Sharon if she is only getting back with him so he’ll be a dad to Dennis. She laughs off his suggestion saying she always seems to end up back at him, isn’t that telling her something?, “Do you remember why I fell for you? You were the nice, sensitive brother, what happened Phil? Why can’t you take a risk in love? You keep settling for second best and when you do get happiness, you throw it away on a whim before you get hurt”, she takes his hand, “let’s see how it works out. I’m clean now and your actions after Denny’s accident reminded me why I fell for you! You’re always there for me when I need you most, like when Dennis died” she quivers. Phil gives her a peck hoping to move away from the conversation, his guilt hidden behind his eyes as he sips his orange juice. Sharon pops outside to see what all the commotion is.
Mona is outraged and starts hurling all the stuff she’s done for Shirl over the years, “Is this how you treat your fans? Do you know how much time I’ve
wasted defending you on the net. I helped you get this pub, you didn’t have the confidence but I told you you could do it! How can you forget the look on Phil’s face? I thought he was going to explode lol.“ Shirley says that she can’t afford the repayments on the loan, she’s going to have to sell up anyway.
Mona’s mad at her for giving her no heed and continues to remind her off all the stuff she’s done for her, “I went to Pete Lawson’s house afraid you were going to get killed off, I scoured the net looking for spoilers, I nearly got arrested trespassing in Scrabbler’s office and then, Phil warned me to stay away from here! You also used the ‘leaving’ excuse as a reason not to give me a job. You just want me as your skivvy.” Shirley asks if she is listening to her, “I’ve explained why I didn’t tell you. I thought I was going to have to leave anyway. At this rate, I’m going to have to leave but you just keep rambling on incessantly. I can’t make head nor tail of it. Look mona, you know I’m not one for showing my emotions. I’m a hard faced cow but I want you to know that I appreciate everything you do for me. You remind me a bit of my sister, I just want to take care of you!” A tear trickles down mona’s face, she grips onto Shirley giving her a squeezy hug.
Sharon comes back in saying there’s war out there between vald and sorcha even Dot’s got embroiled she laughs. Phil is appalled at the service in the pub and comments to Sharon how the place has gone downhill since Shirley took over. Sharon inquires whether he thinks they should tell Denny about them yet. Phil says they should wait. Mona and Shirley enter the bar, mona begins to serve the customers. Phil slags Shirley that the pub isn’t as busy as it was when he was in charge. Shirl quips that he didn’t drink the profits like she does. Mona’s loving their banter but her death stares haven’t gone unnoticed by Sharon.
Phil says he better be heading off and mona can’t let this opportunity pass by, piping that he should get back with Shirl because they are made for each other, “Yous remind me of my mum and dad. Yous are made for each other!” Phil reminds her that she wasn’t meant to return here, mona says it’s a free country, everyone knows Sharon’s a bad mother. Sharon grabs her coat to leave, “really I thought Shirley was the one who walked out on her kids!” This makes mona’s blood boil and she’s fuming that her attempt to reignite Phirley went down like a lead balloon. Mona hops over the bar and confronts Sharon saying that it won’t last, “no man can put up with your domineering princess routine.” Sharon laughs that Shirley should get a lead for mona, mona’s face is a picture and she turns around and smacks Sharon in the face. Phil and Shirley look on in horror.
Duff duff: A gobsmacked Sharon holds her cheek.
COMING UP: