Why do people think it's a good thing to say something to someones face? No matter what it is..As in its not being backtabbing, sneaky or snidey (or whatever buzz words you want to use)..Apparently it's 'Keeping it real' :yawn: It really is just out of the playground stuff.

Apparently backstabbing is the work of the devil according to this forum and being able to confront people head on is a good thing..

Real adults use things called 'descretion' or 'tact'..as in choosing when and how to say things and to take peoples feelings into consideration.

I much prefer people to say what they have to say to my face than behind my back, so it's a very good things in my world. Some lived a more sheltered life it seems, that might explain why some don't like it.

Or they are just too cowardly to say it to their faces.

Seems to be a younger generation thing. It sure wouldn't have been an acceptable excuse back in my day!

Like every other bad thing in this world is down to the "younger generation". Even the recession?

I think it's possible to be both direct and polite: "sheltered lives" then do not need to come into it.

Seems like people post without actually reading half of what I said...

So now not giving a fig about someones feelings is a good thing..?

Yep. Sounds good!

If the matter is important enough to discuss, then it should be addressed. Otherwise don't sweat the small stuff or it may lead to bigger issues. A bit like these forums.

Saying something to someone's face CAN involve discretion/tact.....it's not an either/or thing at all.

Well there was no recession back in my day ...... coincidence or?

I'd rather something be said to my face, if said tactfully. If it was a tirade of expletives and namecalling then maybe I'd rather it be said behind my back.

I do agree OP, for some people, such as Sallie in this series, they think just by adding "I'm just keeping it real", "telling it like it is" or any other such cliches, that it's suddenly acceptable to be rude to people.

Part of it is choosing your words, not the first thing that comes into your mind...

We all have opinions about the people we meet either good or bad but they are there and sometimes it's just needless to say something that will hurt another's feelings, however I thoroughly believe that should you share that opinion with others you should have the backbone and moral fibre to be able to say it to the persons face when or if they find out because to deny what you have said really is two faced.

Sallie thought it was a good idea.

It's why she went in week 1.

Its a game show is it really that much of a big deal? If you don't do it then its all good, everyone is different and what they feel is right to them is right.

don't see the problem.

Think Sallie was very immature for her age.

why say something to someones face when you can have a right good laugh at them behind their back?

Never got this...just a gameshow rubbish..

its not family fortunes or 321 is it?

Imo it's completely unnecessary. Why do some people feel compelled to have to spout stuff to people's faces anyway? To give themselves some kind of self importance kick? Does it make them feel better about themselves?

And to the poster trying to get clever with me. It IS IMO a generation thing ... and a sad reflection of society today. That's all.

It is all very simple. People should not pretend to like somebody, and then talk rubbish behind their backs. There should be complete honesty in that respect. But they also don't have to say every feeling out loud to them which is a bit tactless and can come across as aggressive, and just keeping a distance would be enough of a gesture. But, there is nothing wrong at all with speaking out in a sensible manner if somebody is doing something which affects that person in a bad way. When it comes down to it, it's just using a combination of honesty, common sense and respect for people.

I'm with you OP.

I doubt there is a person alive who hasn't spoken negatively about someone 'behind their back'.

It isn't necessarily a nasty thing to do. It can be everything from a coping mechanism for stress, to developing and understanding one's feelings about someone else, to just bonding with a third person about a shared topic of interest.

Yes it can be 'bitching', when the intention is to make other people think poorly about the person being discussed or get people on side, and that's what I see as bitching/backstabbing. But more often as not I'd say it's far more neutral motivations at play.

No one is liked by everybody - we all rub people up the wrong way for no other reason than not clicking. Getting that stress out face to face, where there is no 'fault', does no good. Venting it to a third means you can keep amicable and carry on

Yea its got to be a power buzz.

Just have to say Thatchers children are a bunch of materialistic, self serving, money hungry twits....not generalising tho

I think its down to personal preference you cannot tell people how to feel.

Great post..