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Andre's "suffering" (part 2)


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Old 28-05-2014, 19:45
momma11
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CALLING BEL URGENTLY to post #12841 and clear evidence of dark shenanigans at play.

I've just seen a post by SenseiSam on the KP thread (thanks, Sam) indicating - IMO - that Momma has succumbed to bribery, flattery and corruption and has made some downloading pact with TM in order to have a song dedicated to her on Big Nit. Proofage:

I want to dance with my heart and my soul
I want to shake it to some rock & roll
Look in my eyes momma
I feel alive with ya


Although she's pretending to faint and fall to the floor in shock at this 'revelation', it is plain to see, between her very transparent 'gasps' and 'expressions of disbelief', that this has come as no surprise to her and she is plainly and categorically in mucky cahoots with TM, and solely responsible for his current astonishing chart position!!

Motion to make her explain herself and account for this personal BIg Nit dedication.
Busted !!

I have a large family and they are all susceptible to threats emem I mean bribery .


And you are all philistines....so there !

ps. going for number one now , there's a few nieces and nephews , cousins and elderly aunts I've not intimidated yet
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Old 28-05-2014, 19:48
momma11
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*checks sweepstake*
*bursts into tears*
*panics*
*demands a Steward's Enquiry into whether Goaty and Hmmbop have been bulk-buying Big Nit in an attempt to nobble the charts*




*calms down a bit*





Momma, I don't know if you're aware of it, but Specsavers now do hearing aids as well as glasses.
AS ,
I can still feel the...... good good good good vibrations...
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Old 28-05-2014, 19:59
Azura's Star
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AS ,
I can still feel the...... good good good good vibrations...
*shudders and tries to think about bunnies and kittens*
Said it before and I'll say it again, he really doesn't deserve you.



Busted !!

I have a large family and they are all susceptible to threats emem I mean bribery .


And you are all philistines....so there !

ps. going for number one now , there's a few nieces and nephews , cousins and elderly aunts I've not intimidated yet

^^^^

I demand a judicial review into the sweepstake with immediate effect.
Wanting to fiddle with Tangoman is all well and good, but fiddling with the sweepstake is a disgrace.
Bad momma.
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Old 28-05-2014, 20:01
artlesschaos
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I really don't understand the charts these days? What the hell is an Update chart?
He's nowhere to be seen on the Official Albums chart (no.20 is Bastille)
The Offical chart (the real one) is still Sunday. The midweek is a bit of a "Let's see what's going on". Singles and albums that are number 1 in the midweek often are not by the Sunday.

So Sunday will be the real chart day and the album may have gone up or down by then.
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Old 28-05-2014, 20:03
artlesschaos
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*shudders and tries to think about bunnies and kittens*
Said it before and I'll say it again, he really doesn't deserve you.






^^^^

I demand a judicial review into the sweepstake with immediate effect.
Wanting to fiddle with Tangoman is all well and good, but fiddling with the sweepstake is a disgrace.
Bad momma.
Bad, bad momma.

Sigh.

Anyroadup, I feel we should wait until the weekend to see if Momma's cheating heart will get it's way. Officially.
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Old 28-05-2014, 20:29
Blue Eyed lady
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*Tries to sound authoritative*

I've had a quick read back & there seems to be some bickering over the Sweepstake rules, therefore as self appointed adjudicator .......

Nobody is permitted to change their chosen number, sorry Momma, you're stuck with no. 10.

Nobody is permitted to give prizes away, once again, sorry Daisy but if you win you will be spending the night/weekend with TM.

The midweek chart is irrelevant, the winner will be announced on Sunday when we see the official position.

Once again, here are the chosen numbers, anyone who attempts to change their number will be whisked off with TM to a remote island for the remainder of 2014!



What number will TM's new album get to ......

Betty Britain 82

Blue Eyed lady 74

Azura's Star 100

Blondie X 55

artlesschaos 72

Cym 98

cazzz 41

Ella71110 69

Hmmbop 2 (funniest thing I've heard in a long time)

Bela 63

DiamondDoll

NotaTypo 73

bunny55

Goaty 1

Daisy Bennyboots 44

j0anne 75

Kat_12 65

The Prumeister 147

scone

Cyril_Sneer 54

Anna.Nuttall 85

livingdeadgirl 50

Butterface 53

Essex Angel* 92

kiviraat 38

changa

Not fussy 96

Gortonian 60

Momma11 10

Winner's prize....... http://www.chew.hu/entry_images/trophy-trappista.jpg
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Old 28-05-2014, 20:50
artlesschaos
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Sanity is restored.


Well...

you know. ish.
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Old 28-05-2014, 21:33
smilliekylie
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Own up you Guys, who's responsible for these two latest reviews on Amazon

1.0 out of 5 stars Insomnia?, 27 May 2014
By 6010
This review is from: Big Night (Audio CD)
Try this instant cure.... BIG NIT!

The Tangoed Twonk tries his hand at Swing (only a few years too late), and fails miserably.
He just does not have the voice for this kind of stuff.
Best go back to the MJ impressions, now his record company have started exhuming his old demos as "new" material

Graverobbers

Best Avoided[



1.0 out of 5 stars An assault on the senses.All of them., 27 May 2014
By Cait
This review is from: Big Night (Audio CD)
This is not big band music.
It's not even medium-sized.
It's like a musical pick and mix, but in the worst possible way.
Track after track of nasally, tuneless whining, with no musical merit whatsoever. Not even the most ardent fan of Peter Andre could possibly listen to this without wanting to tear off their own ears.
Andre is the musical equivalent of anaglypta wallpaper - no one likes it, but it's virtually impossible to completely get rid of.
Save your money - unless you are looking for a way of keeping your friends and neighbours away from you.
Or a novelty frisbee.
Dire, dire, dire.
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Old 28-05-2014, 21:44
Bela
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*Tries to sound authoritative*
Tries and fails.

Did you miss the part where Momma's cheatin' heart made us weep? And cry foul! foul!, and lose us sleep? Where we stand by - so helplessly, while she downloads Big Nit for free.

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Old 28-05-2014, 21:58
artlesschaos
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Tries and fails.

Did you miss the part where Momma's cheatin' heart made us weep? And cry foul! foul!, and lose us sleep? Where we stand by - so helplessly, while she downloads Big Nit for free.

and...*quakes at the horror of it* FORCES her CHILDREN to aid her.


Forces...

her

CHILDREN.


Oh, the HUMANITY!!:
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Old 28-05-2014, 22:04
Azura's Star
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Sanity is restored.


Well...

you know. ish.
Tries and fails.

Did you miss the part where Momma's cheatin' heart made us weep? And cry foul! foul!, and lose us sleep? Where we stand by - so helplessly, while she downloads Big Nit for free.

and...*quakes at the horror of it* FORCES her CHILDREN to aid her.


Forces...

her

CHILDREN.


Oh, the HUMANITY!!:

Look right, it's all very well you lot having a laugh, but if I've understood the rules of the sweepstake correctly, unless Big Nit plummets out of the charts like a stone in the next few days (which is fairly likely I'll admit) I could well be in line for a date with destiny with Tangoman - after Pru has finished with him of course.
And that is not bloody funny.
Does anyone know where I can get a life-sized laminated picture of Eamonn and a vat of Nutella at short notice??
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Old 28-05-2014, 22:31
artlesschaos
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Look right, it's all very well you lot having a laugh, but if I've understood the rules of the sweepstake correctly, unless Big Nit plummets out of the charts like a stone in the next few days (which is fairly likely I'll admit) I could well be in line for a date with destiny with Tangoman - after Pru has finished with him of course.
And that is not bloody funny.
Does anyone know where I can get a life-sized laminated picture of Eamonn and a vat of Nutella at short notice??
Not sure what your issue with - it's bloody hil-AIR-ious to me!
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Old 29-05-2014, 07:12
Blue Eyed lady
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Tries and fails.

Did you miss the part where Momma's cheatin' heart made us weep? And cry foul! foul!, and lose us sleep? Where we stand by - so helplessly, while she downloads Big Nit for free.


Harsh! You do realise how difficult it is to control a rabble of women desperate for a night with TM.

However...............upon closer reading, motion granted.
Explain this revelation Momma, failure to do so will result in disqualification
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Old 29-05-2014, 07:15
Blue Eyed lady
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Look right, it's all very well you lot having a laugh, but if I've understood the rules of the sweepstake correctly, unless Big Nit plummets out of the charts like a stone in the next few days (which is fairly likely I'll admit) I could well be in line for a date with destiny with Tangoman - after Pru has finished with him of course.
And that is not bloody funny.
Does anyone know where I can get a life-sized laminated picture of Eamonn and a vat of Nutella at short notice??
No it isn't, however what is, is the fact you could win not just a date with TM but a full weekend!
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Old 29-05-2014, 08:28
The Prumeister
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Look right, it's all very well you lot having a laugh, but if I've understood the rules of the sweepstake correctly, unless Big Nit plummets out of the charts like a stone in the next few days (which is fairly likely I'll admit) I could well be in line for a date with destiny with Tangoman - after Pru has finished with him of course.
And that is not bloody funny.
Does anyone know where I can get a life-sized laminated picture of Eamonn and a vat of Nutella at short notice??


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Old 29-05-2014, 08:30
smilliekylie
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KInda felt slightly despairing that TM managed to get the atrocity that is Big NIt into the Midweeks Top 20, but then looked at the chart placings above him.

Despite the massive publicity overload with tv appearances, record signings, huge social media blitz, 'Definately Maybe', an album now 20 years old by Oasis, is currently outselling TM at Number 17

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/chart/updatealbums

I feel a sense of order has been returned to the universe. Happy Days, Music hasn't died yet
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Old 29-05-2014, 10:26
momma11
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and...*quakes at the horror of it* FORCES her CHILDREN to aid her.


Forces...

her

CHILDREN.


Oh, the HUMANITY!!:
oohh the shame of it !


Harsh! You do realise how difficult it is to control a rabble of women desperate for a night with TM.

However...............upon closer reading, motion granted.
Explain this revelation Momma, failure to do so will result in disqualification
Summoned to the Star Chamber

In my defence , desperate times call for desperate measures !


Come on guys ! I'm fighting a guerrilla action here.

I'm forced to use any and all means at my disposal.

Now , where did I put those elderly aunts.....
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Old 29-05-2014, 12:38
Blue Eyed lady
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KInda felt slightly despairing that TM managed to get the atrocity that is Big NIt into the Midweeks Top 20, but then looked at the chart placings above him.

Despite the massive publicity overload with tv appearances, record signings, huge social media blitz, 'Definately Maybe', an album now 20 years old by Oasis, is currently outselling TM at Number 17

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/chart/updatealbums

I feel a sense of order has been returned to the universe. Happy Days, Music hasn't died yet
The relief I feel is indescribable.

oohh the shame of it !



Summoned to the Star Chamber

In my defence , desperate times call for desperate measures !


Come on guys ! I'm fighting a guerrilla action here.

I'm forced to use any and all means at my disposal.

Now , where did I put those elderly aunts.....
You've put a very good case forward Momma, the thought of you soldiering on fighting TM's corner, added with smilliekylie's positive post has softened me, therefore you're not disqualified, however you will keep no. 10 but anymore dirty tricks will result in you being removed from the sweepstake with immediate effect.
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Old 29-05-2014, 12:42
smilliekylie
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The relief I feel is indescribable.



You've put a very good case forward Momma, the thought of you soldiering on fighting TM's corner, added with smilliekylie's positive post has softened me, therefore you're not disqualified, however you will keep no. 10 but anymore dirty tricks will result in you being removed from the sweepstake with immediate effect.
Hmmmmm, this has just appeared on Amazon

http://www.amazon.co.uk/product-reviews/B00KJ93PJA

momma11

This review is from: Big Night (Audio CD)
And I love it , I have played it non-stop since it arrived from Amazon .

I get the impression that he enjoys the songs and I thought that came across clearly on the album.

I can't wait to see him perform them later on in the year.

More of the same please Pete !
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Old 29-05-2014, 12:44
DiamondDoll
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Hmmmmm, this has just appeared on Amazon

http://www.amazon.co.uk/product-reviews/B00KJ93PJA

momma11

This review is from: Big Night (Audio CD)
And I love it , I have played it non-stop since it arrived from Amazon .

I get the impression that he enjoys the songs and I thought that came across clearly on the album.

I can't wait to see him perform them later on in the year.

More of the same please Pete !
Busted.
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Old 29-05-2014, 15:40
momma11
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Hmmmmm, this has just appeared on Amazon

http://www.amazon.co.uk/product-reviews/B00KJ93PJA

momma11

This review is from: Big Night (Audio CD)
And I love it , I have played it non-stop since it arrived from Amazon .

I get the impression that he enjoys the songs and I thought that came across clearly on the album.

I can't wait to see him perform them later on in the year.

More of the same please Pete !


stalker !
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Old 29-05-2014, 18:15
Azura's Star
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Have you not read the rules properly?
If Big Nit stays where it is,and if neither of us can find a way to either nobble the sweepstake or blackmail BEL, you my friend, are the furthest away, and thus in pole position to win the top prize.
I will have to make do with whatever is left of Tangoman when you're done.


KInda felt slightly despairing that TM managed to get the atrocity that is Big NIt into the Midweeks Top 20, but then looked at the chart placings above him.

Despite the massive publicity overload with tv appearances, record signings, huge social media blitz, 'Definately Maybe', an album now 20 years old by Oasis, is currently outselling TM at Number 17

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/chart/updatealbums

I feel a sense of order has been returned to the universe. Happy Days, Music hasn't died yet
Maybe it hasn't died, but with Big Nit inexplicably at Number 20, it's clearly not very well at all.


^^^
BEL - she's at it again.
I think that momma should be disqualified for her own good, before she inveigles any more of her unsuspecting relatives into spending their life savings on Big Nit.

Continued here: Peter Andre (part 3)
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