Awww op, I'm so sorry. That's awful

I think you did the right thing tbh, if you'd taken him home he may have been in pain, at least this was quick and pleasant (for him).

Big hugs.

I would push to find out what exactly was wrong with him thou, for piece of mind if nothing else.

Thank you. Yes, I'm tormenting myself about what went wrong - to the point of getting obsessed with it.
He's been on my lap all day and I've taken him round the garden (I know that sounds stupid). Maybe after I get his ashes back tomorrow, I'll be able to realise he really has gone.
I've taken a lock of his fur, so I'll be able to keep it. I'm just in shock right now, so apologies for the disjointed posts.

It's just as horrific as suddenly losing a family member, especially as you didn't know he was so ill. My thoughts are with you.

I am really sorry to hear the sad news about your dog.

I just found this re the medication he was on:

The following side effects have been reported - restlessness, agitation, excitement, vomiting, diarrhoea, polydipsia, sedation, reduced appetite and polyuria. If vomiting occurs the dose should be reduced or the treatment discontinued. If signs of CNS excitement occur (twitching, restlessness or convulsions) discontinue treatment immediately.

Yes, I had researched and found that too. I told the vet but she was dismissive - she said it was just liver and kidney failure but I don't understand how, when his blood tests were fine a few days before. He was so full of life on Wednesday morning, before he went to the vets. I still wonder if he would have come through but they were so insistent on putting him to sleep. I was told I'd be cruel if I didn't. There were two vets in there telling me I couldn't take him home and to let him go. I just wonder if I made the wrong choice and should have fought for him more. I have to live with that.
To say I'm devastated is an understatement. He was the love of my life and I can't make any sense of it.
I know I'm rambling but I don't know how to let him go. I'll give him some final cuddles in bed tonight. He'd be so scared on his own - he was such a wimp.
I feel like I'm in the middle of a bad dream. The guilt is unbearable. If I hadn't given him that tablet, I have no doubt he'd still be here with me.
I know some will say it was just a dog - but I never saw him as a pet. He saved me so many times and yet I let him down. He had the purest soul and the sweetest nature. He just shone so bright and I'm so confused and angry.

So sorry to hear of your loss x

It was not your fault, unfortunately we think Vets and also doctors know better, but sometimes the vet just guesses and then they dismiss your concerns. I learnt to say no to medicins the vet wanted to give to my dog just on the ofchance it might help. But its not your fault, dont think that, and in the end you did the right thing too, you cant let your dog suffer.

I've always treated my animals holistically and this was the first time in years I've let any of them have chemicals or conventional medicines.
It's so easy in hindsight and I wish I had never taken him to the vets. I should have spoken out more for him, instead of doing something that was against my intuition. I thought they knew better than me.
He trusted me and I got it wrong.
Sorry to go on - the pain is just so raw right now.

Thank you everyone for your kind words.

I hope you will be ok.

Don't beat yourself up. You did what you thought best for your dog at the time, you had his interests at heart. You need to grieve but there's no point in what ifs. So sorry for your loss and take care. X

Omg I am so so sorry for the loss of your dog. I can't believe the outcome. Big hugs to you and to your dog. Take care. x

I honestly doubt it was the medicines fault (not entirely), he was ill prior to taking them (hence being prescribed them, rightly or not). The kidneys are often the first organs to shut down and it happens in an instant, they are then 9/10 followed by the liver, that's why in hospitals they monitor urine output for the seriously ill. Once the kidneys are going its an uphill battle sadly. It is not unusual that the blood tests were fine for liver and kidney function a few days before, sure some kidney failure happens slowly and can be detected, but that's usually because of a fault in the kidney itself, this sounds more like the body was under stress from what ever was causing the breathing issues /coughing and he just couldn't cope.

Maybe the medicine didn't help, but I highly doubt it caused the failure.

Even something as simple as kennel cough (if that's what it was) can be fatal quickly for some dogs and nothing more than an annoyance for another, it's like flu - it preys on any weaknesses already there.

Once again op, I'm sorry for your loss, but he knew he was loved and that's all that matters at the end of the day

Thank you.
It was just so quick and I truly believe that the diuretics, along with the other meds didn't help matters.
Every med he was put on has the possible side effects of kidney failure. It was too much for him.
I don't want anyone to blame - I'm just looking for an answer because it's eating me up inside. But no amount of questioning will bring him back.

My dad has just taken him to be cremated, so I shall have his ashes back in a few hours. It may seem final for me then.

So sorry India_Rain - will be thinking of you, take care.

They may have contributed, but if he'd not taken them he may have died from the breathing issues, or his kidneys may have failed slower and that would of been horrid. It's an awful feeling hen you keep asking what if I'd done this and what if I'd done that. I don't blame you for wondering,it I really don't think you can blame yourself, if he was ill enough to go into kidney failure, he'd not of been around long, no matter what you'd done.

OP I'm so sorry for your loss but please don't feel guilty. It sounds to me as if there was something seriously wrong but they hadn't properly got to the bottom of it.
Corvental D is used quite widely - and long term. I'm pretty sure there are dogs that owe their lives to it. But I'm not sure about the side effects wearing off so quickly. It's a sustained release drug that is designed to stay in the system for hours. My dog is on it - she was initially like a dog on speed and would be a bit hyper even in the early evening - after taking it in the morning. But she seems to be settling with it. I would rather she was on that than the prednisolone. They didn't warn me about the potential long term effects and when I researched and mentioned it she said she might normally have been concerned were it not for my dog's age.
It was my pushing that got her onto inhaled meds as an alternative.
As for lungworm (I've gone into this with my own dog) there is actually more than one kind and the commonly touted preventative isn't 100%. My vet should have tested for lungworm and didnt do I got my own tests done through wormcount.com. It's only £10, it's quick and there is no to-ing and fro-ing to the vets.
That said, testing generally involves collecting poo samples over 3 days so in all you are looking at a few days.
I had thought about treating her with Panacur anyway. But you have to be careful. Dogs can have a reaction to the more intense lungworm dosage. Also if there are worms, the die off of the worms can actually kill the dog. There is an alternative slow method that may be more suitable in some cases.
Anyway I have had one dog die that I blame myself for so I feel your pain. But it does sound as if something catastrophic was going on that possibly couldn't be fixed anyway. Believe me - I have spent hours on the net and on forums researching my own dogs' symptoms - so many tales of dogs seeming to rally - then dying. Much like people! And from what I understand, dogs are quite good at compensating for/masking their symptoms. When it becomes apparent something is badly wrong, a condition can already be quite far advanced.
'Could have, should have, would have, if only' are wonderful terms to beat ourselves up with. The thing is you gave your dog a good life and you did your best.
Take care x

Thank you, that's really kind of you.
It was two weeks yesterday that he left me and, whilst I'm not still sobbing all day - there hasn't been a day yet where the grief hasn't still hit me. I miss him terribly and sometimes I can barely breathe, when I think of him. Have been having dreams of him, the past couple of nights - where I can smell him and hold him again but, of course, it's just harder then when I wake up.

I called the vet, to talk to her, a few days ago - to try and put my mind at rest, as I'm going over every tiny detail and beating myself up over it. She just said she didn't know what had happened but that I'd done the best for him, in letting him go. She didn't know why it had all come on so quickly - but that it can sometimes happen that way.
I still think though, if I hadn't taken him to the vets, he would still be with me. It all happened so fast - just from a slight cough and normal blood tests.

Thank you for your kind words. x

I'm really sorry about your dog.
Sometimes vets don't have the answers and that's what is so frustrating, as we trust them to do just that. I have been similarly cross with my vet for doing loads of expensive tests and then still not being able to give me a diagnosis, both for a cat I had a few years ago (died at home- very traumatic) and more recently for a dog. Fortunately my dog's condition setttled on that occasion, but I imagine if I had lost him I would have felt just the same as you. If I had lost confidence in my vet as you have I would be tempted to look for another, should the need arise in the future, even if I had to travel to find one. Other people's recommendations are often helpful.
Remember the good times you had together, you will always have those memories.

Your post has made me cry OP. We lost a dog to unexplained symptoms a few years ago. He was 12 too. He went off his food and stopped wanting to go for a walk. I took him to the vet but they didn't know what was wrong with him. They did blood tests and said that his red corpuscle count was low. He got to the point where he couldn't even stand up so we took him to the surgery and decided not to bring him home again.. This all happened in about two weeks. The trouble is that dogs are very good at hiding symptoms of weakness or illness. They can be quite poorly before you know that there is anything wrong.

Don't blame yourself OP. Your dog could have been ill for some time before you knew there was anything wrong.

I'm stealing myself for my own dog's demise. Because, if I am honest, despite all the drugs in the world and every 'natural remedy' that you can think of, she is worse now than when she was diagnosed. I can't imagine life without her.
I'm sure I annoy my vet because I now query every single thing. Unfortunately at the age of 13 and with compromised health, I am worried about risking further checks under anaethesia. Plus I am resisting calls for the routine booster. No thought has gone into this imo - it's like a sales pitch. If I ever get another animal I will be seeking a different vet.
Anyway here is a site that may help - though reading the comments made me cry! It seems the guilt (as well as the loss) that so many of us experience is quite common.
http://bodysoulmind.net/spirit/what-...-when-they-die

So sorry about your cat and thank you for your lovely words. x


Aw, sorry to hear about your dog and thank you for your reassurance about my guilt. x



Yes, the vets do seem to think of "one size fits all", when it comes to boosters/wormers/medications. It's so scary, isn't it, deciding which path to go down. Thank you for the link - shall go read now. x

And, for anyone else grieving over their lost ones, this site is wonderful (I joined a couple of weeks back). They really understand and are so helpful. They also have a chat room and give so much support, as well as candle ceremonies.
http://www.petlossmessageboard.com/?forum=62448

Thanks everyone who has replied on this thread (and my friend in PM) - all your words have helped so much and kept me going.

So sorry about the loss of your dog, friend and family member. He would have know that you did your best for him and how much you loved him.

I know what you mean about doing the right thing about him, but you did do the right thing. I worry about lung worm to, ever since slugs have started evading our house (the landlady started building outside in our garden building another house and has just built the ground works i.e big whole in the garden been like that for over year. Keep getting slugs in house. Caught them twice no on my dogs bowl eating what he left. Told her but she's not doing anything about it.

I'm so sorry India Rain.

Anyone who has read your posts over the years knows how much you love and care for animals.

Who could forget Eddie Gizzard? (Or the baby Jesus?). You made me laugh so much with those tales.

I bet your dog walked around all of his life with a happy, smiley face, loving you and trusting you to do the right thing - and you did. Don't beat yourself up.

Thank you Milly - yeah you have to be so vigilant. Hope you get it sorted.

Ah, that's lovely owllover - thank you. Sadly Eddie is no longer with us (but died a natural old age type death). Baby Jesus is still going strong and ruling the house.
Yeah, my dog was always grinning at me - even when I told him off for digging in the flowerbeds - he'd just grin and wag his tail and carry on with what he was doing. He was my ray of sunshine. x

So sorry for your loss. It is clear he had the most wonderful owner and had a great life.