Your grandmother is clearly related to my mother. Honestly, it was pathetic. In the end, my dad took pity on me and bought a new portable tv for the dining room which meant the old black and white one could go into my bedroom and he could see a complete tv programme himself.

Score 1 for Dad!

Lucky she wasn't raising you in this day and age. She would be afloat with tea.

This made me really giggle because it was just like this in our house, but when I was a kid there was no remote control, so I kept getting sent out to, let the dog out, let the dog in, let the dog out again! all at the 'sexy' bit, gawd, I was up and down like a blooming yoyo answering the door to the invisible man during the'Bouquet of Barbed Wire' I never cottoned on either as to why there was never anyone there!Crikey me!

When I was studying Latin and Ancient History at school, the teacher, someone who put the p in prude, invited three of us to watch I Claudius on his television. He should have known what was coming, but perhaps he thought the BBC would leave it all to the imagination. He always had a red face and it quickly beetroot and stayed there. I hope he did not go to watch the film Caligula when it came out a few years later.

it's almost like a pavlovian response now.....everytime carol starts speaking speaking tonight i get an irrational thirst

Dont be silly! its just the hole

Erm how did a thread about usernames become about smutty tales?
Oh I see PP and SS...

Now...........who mentioned a toffee crisp?

Right...the 'mouse' situation...

I slept in another room last night. Eventually.

Then I had work and stuff going on when I woke up and tried to push it to the back of my mind.

I am now back in my usual room and I can't hear anything. However...I know what I heard last night. I consider myself authoritative on this because years ago I had a rat in my home. They scratch and scramble when it's quiet and go silent if they hear you.

I sound nuts. But I eventually saw the last one.

I know what I heard.

*sinister music*

What a plonker - did he not read his history books. How on earth did he think the BBC were going to cover the Claudio-Julians or were they Julio-Claudians without sex and murder. They didn't do anything else - did they?

Can you remember? 'would you risk it for a swisskit'? I used to lurve them!

Have you found any dropping? If you have a mouse there will certainly be droppings unless he really was just passing through.

You mean me dont you

Ok, guilty as charged
Caught red handed
"It was me guv"

Hiya! Great to see you x

Hi Damanda. I didn't I am on a virtual diet tonight.

I assume your user name is something to do with the twins - the first twins.

I had a mouse in my bedroom a couple of years ago. Failed to catch it humanely but eventually the nightly scampering sounds stopped. A few weeks later, I was going through a drawer full of clothes when I noticed some of them had been shredded; curled up in a jumper was the body of the mouse. Gave me a hell of a start.

Exactly. I studied Aristophanes's The Frogs with him and I guess it was just as well that was not dramatised at the time. Used to stifle sniggers at the teacher's euphemistic translations.

Awww Poor little mickey! At least he died warm and comfy and full of your clothes that he'd shredded Seriously though, mice are hard to get rid of, I had them for ages and at the time I had 6 cats!I tried traps (humane ones only) they would climb in take the bait and climb back out again cheeky beggars! Eventually they left of their own accord.

One wonders how he got into the Ancients - doesn't sound as if he was made of stern enough stuff for the era. Victorians would have suited him better or Jesuits.

Probably got fed up when they found no food left conveniently for them in the traps.

i actually moved house due to a rodent even though i blocked it out of the rooms i could hear it in the walls...in the end i just had to move

Probably, they used to pinch the cat biscuits too, I would find little pieces behind the furniture near the cracks they used to come and go from!

He had been married for some 15 years when his wife gave birth - we were stunned; and speculative.

Hello lovely, yes I know you are guilty

Not at all! wash out your mouth, I loath those simple idiots

My name is Amanda. The D was added for amusement by a dim and distant boyfriend. It's been my real life nick for donkeys years

I thought there was no actual CBB talk in this thread of smut, but I assume you are referring to Louis here?

Fed up.

Ah...But there it is strange how we rebel from our elders.

My mother, having grown up with the aforementioned grandmother, took an entirely different approach.

My mother is lovely, polite and smart I must add here. But she must have felt that you can't hide adolescents from the world and a question deserves an honest answer.

My mum would adopt a slightly cynical expression to such matters. She would quickly disperse any mysteries in a very clinical fashion if I broached the subject. It ceased to be sexy. I was well educated about contraception by my Mum adopting a slightly bored manner. Most off putting.

I had nothing to rebel against.

I think I almost ended up like my grandmother, just to be different.