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Worst Facebook status updates (Part 2)


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Old 24-08-2013, 22:32
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Continuation of: Worst Facebook status updates
A girl who went on holiday to Spain has been updating every day as if she's started a new life out there. She returned home today and announced that she's jetlagged...
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Old 24-08-2013, 23:39
Shappy
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Not much to say, but just wanted to be the first to post on a Part 2 thread.
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Old 24-08-2013, 23:43
stoatie
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Not much to say, but just wanted to be the first to post on a Part 2 thread.
You do get that that's the forum equivalent of posting a picture of your baby's poo on Facebook, right?
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Old 24-08-2013, 23:46
captainkremmen
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First.

DAMMIT: Not first, that's what I get for popping to the loo for a poo before clicking send.
(That's sounds just like an annoying FB status too).

Last edited by captainkremmen : 24-08-2013 at 23:47. Reason: Too late
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Old 25-08-2013, 00:38
riverside 57
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This was posted about a week ago on someone's status who is on my friend list..

Big clean out is long over due on this so if u notice over the next coming weeks that we are no longer friends .its because quite frankly u bore me or I'm sick of ur repetitive shite on this

Guess I mustn't have bored her or repeated myself enough for her to delete me as of yet!
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Old 25-08-2013, 00:40
Shappy
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You do get that that's the forum equivalent of posting a picture of your baby's poo on Facebook, right?
Touché.
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Old 25-08-2013, 01:59
Sexbomb
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Just seen this one on my feed just now

Cant believe just been caught having a wank by my mate
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Old 25-08-2013, 02:15
nuttytigger
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New thread
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Old 25-08-2013, 10:59
Dishy
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"121 days til Christmas!"
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Old 25-08-2013, 11:32
pugamo
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Oooh this is very exciting for me lol
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Old 25-08-2013, 12:56
Jason100
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"I don't normally write ranting statuses like this but last night was the final limit for me... it is up to me who I am friends with and who I talk to. Really seen a side of a person I never thought I'd see last night all just because of a certain person I'm friends with so what!! It's my life if people don't like it then walk away its that simple!!!"

She sometimes makes ranting statuses which end up with "what's up hon?" and her replies are: "nothing i'm ok really"
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Old 25-08-2013, 13:33
tothegrand
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Most of the time its

"Im really pissed off"

"Can't take this"

Next day they are as happy as Larry.

Facebook friends are not real friends.
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Old 25-08-2013, 13:37
GOGO2
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Most of the time its

"Im really pissed off"

"Can't take this"

Next day they are as happy as Larry.

Facebook friends are not real friends.
Mine are.
That's why I never have anything interesting for this thread!! I love reading it though...
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Old 25-08-2013, 14:21
queenshaks
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My brother often does locations status whether he's there or not.

On Tuesday, within the space of an hour, he updated 20 locations!

I nearly deleted his ass!
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Old 27-08-2013, 14:00
Babek
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A bus is a vehicle that
runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
original: http://youfacebookstatus.com/i/img/y....com_20534.jpg

Don't Drake and Drive.... You'll end up at your exes house...
original: http://youfacebookstatus.com/status.php?statusid=20540
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Old 27-08-2013, 14:04
Babek
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- I’m ****ing crying, I don’t know what to do
My mom just came into my room, she made me throw away all my anime and all my drawings and she says I’m not a Sailor Moon Princess and that I’m a 22 year old man and I need to act like one.

I’m ****ing crying so much now, it’s so hard here

- I like turtles because they’re so chill. They don’t hurt anyone. They’re just like, “Hey man, I want to swim, and maybe eat some lettuce. But I’m gonna take my time getting there, I’m not in a rush. Because I’m a turtle.”

- Saw a fat girl buying a rape whistle today. I love the optimism!

- Wow. Just checked my email junk folder. Why didn't anyone tell me about this? I can now grow my penis two inches by watching a DVD and also get that 24 pack of abs I've always wanted in 3 minutes. What are YOU doing with your day?

- boy: hey
girl doesn't say anything
boy: I really like you
girl doesn't say anything
boy: Ok I love you
girl doesn't say anything
boy: I won't ever let you go
girl doesn't say anything
boy kisses girl
boy eats girl
girl was a hamburger the whole time
Lyk dis if u cry evrytim

- If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice.
At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you.

- Maybe we should be focusing less on Goldilocks and more on why Mama and Papa bear don't sleep in the same bed anymore

- Sometimes, when I'm feeling down because nothing seems to be going right, I like to take a home pregnancy test. Then I can say 'Hey, at least I am not pregnant'

- Dieting is a lot like a relationship, it's ok to cheat when your drunk

- New Years Resolution- Date more models
Revised- Date more
Revised- Get a date
Revised one last time- Stop crying while masturbating

- Muscle confusion is a very integral part to my workout. Some days I go into the gym saying it's going to be Chest/Tricep, I even do a warmup set on the bench and then load up my weight and then I sprint over to the squat rack and start squatting.

- They should get hoarders addicted to crack. Then they will sell everything they own to get more crack. Problem solved.

- A gurl was walkin2 skewl wit her bf n they were crossin da rode.
she sed “bbz will u luv me 4evr”
he said “NO..”


da gurl cryed N ran across da rode b4 da green man came on the sine.
boy was cryin and went to pic up her body.

she was ded.
he whispered 2 her corpse “I ment 2 sey i will luv u FIVE-ever…” (dat mean he luv her moar den 4evr)

xxx~*…like dis if u cry evry time…~*xxx
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Old 27-08-2013, 14:28
rumpleteazer
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- Maybe we should be focusing less on Goldilocks and more on why Mama and Papa bear don't sleep in the same bed anymore
I quite like that one
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Old 27-08-2013, 14:28
Scarlett Fever
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My brother often does locations status whether he's there or not.

On Tuesday, within the space of an hour, he updated 20 locations!

I nearly deleted his ass!
were they 'real locations' (bad) or 'made up locations' (good as it screws with the marketing)
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Old 27-08-2013, 16:19
hyperstarsponge
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Some people saying they fed up, Then they post a few hours later saying there all right, Pretty boring if you ask me
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Old 27-08-2013, 20:36
mrsmoose
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From "Jans still dead"...

"weighed myself on my friends scales and i may of lost half a pound "
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Old 27-08-2013, 20:40
Fletch Lives
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An acquaintance of mine on Facebook once posted a picture of a lump of ear wax he had just picked out of his ear.

Unsurprisingly it didn't go down too well on his timeline.
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Old 28-08-2013, 10:29
maidinscotland
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- Sometimes, when I'm feeling down because nothing seems to be going right, I like to take a home pregnancy test. Then I can say 'Hey, at least I am not pregnant'

I like that one, might even use it sometime!
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Old 28-08-2013, 10:42
AnitaS
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An acquaintance of mine on Facebook once posted a picture of a lump of ear wax he had just picked out of his ear.

Unsurprisingly it didn't go down too well on his timeline.
Ewwwww!! Why would anyone do that?
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Old 28-08-2013, 11:43
los.kav
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"121 days til Christmas!"
Kill it! Kill it with fire!
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Old 29-08-2013, 18:59
Irishguy123
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From "Jans still dead"...

"weighed myself on my friends scales and i may of lost half a pound "
Wow, half a pound? The weight is just flying off!
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