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Worst Facebook status updates (Part 2)
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SuperAPJ
23-09-2013
Originally Posted by Calien01:
“"a bich at the job centre has stopped my clam for job seeker”

Perhaps she refused to attend a Literacy course.

Originally Posted by paperplanes_:
“
Quote:
“HAPPIII EIGHT MONFF ANNVERSAY BABY...”
”

Ugh, I don't want to believe that's genuine!
himynameisami
23-09-2013
A beautiful collection from someone I know:

Well i think nw the time to say nyt to everyone and hit the pillow as busy day tomorrow got to get up early and get ready and go to court nt me btw someone else i just said i will be there x x

Asif my nan just told me that my ex daz has had half his ear shot of lol gives me bare jokes that does

Well is sat on the sofa watching emmerdale then coro then eastenders having snuggles with my man and it is well comfey love him lots like jelly tots x x x x x x

Is sat upstairs under the quilt and watching tv as i am very ill chest infection and also got siatica and it kills like no 1ns buissness i want my man to cme and cuddle me make me feel better x x x x x x

Well that is weird my man just noticed i got a scar under my eye and i have never noticed it my life lol but still i love him x x x



I could definitely go on...
himynameisami
23-09-2013
Last one I promise

Is dressed in my nurses outfit and black heels just so i can turn on my man so i am going to get lucky tonite 2 in a day woop woop lucky me i am x x x
SuperAPJ
24-09-2013
Originally Posted by himynameisami:
“'Well that is weird my man just noticed i got a scar under my eye and i have never noticed it my life lol but still i love him x x x'”

Cue a photo of the scar and comments like "Dont worry bout it bbz. Ur still gawjuss hunni! xxxx'.
Jason100
24-09-2013
Originally Posted by himynameisami:
“Last one I promise

Is dressed in my nurses outfit and black heels just so i can turn on my man so i am going to get lucky tonite 2 in a day woop woop lucky me i am x x x”

Who was the other man she pleased with those black heals?
BellaRosa
24-09-2013
Originally Posted by himynameisami:
“A beautiful collection from someone I know:

Well i think nw the time to say nyt to everyone and hit the pillow as busy day tomorrow got to get up early and get ready and go to court nt me btw someone else i just said i will be there x x

Asif my nan just told me that my ex daz has had half his ear shot of lol gives me bare jokes that does

Well is sat on the sofa watching emmerdale then coro then eastenders having snuggles with my man and it is well comfey love him lots like jelly tots x x x x x x

Is sat upstairs under the quilt and watching tv as i am very ill chest infection and also got siatica and it kills like no 1ns buissness i want my man to cme and cuddle me make me feel better x x x x x x

Well that is weird my man just noticed i got a scar under my eye and i have never noticed it my life lol but still i love him x x x



I could definitely go on...”

Good God Pass the sick bucket.
klendathu
24-09-2013
Originally Posted by himynameisami:
“A beautiful collection from someone I know:

Well i think nw the time to say nyt to everyone and hit the pillow as busy day tomorrow got to get up early and get ready and go to court nt me btw someone else i just said i will be there x x

Asif my nan just told me that my ex daz has had half his ear shot of lol gives me bare jokes that does

Well is sat on the sofa watching emmerdale then coro then eastenders having snuggles with my man and it is well comfey love him lots like jelly tots x x x x x x

Is sat upstairs under the quilt and watching tv as i am very ill chest infection and also got siatica and it kills like no 1ns buissness i want my man to cme and cuddle me make me feel better x x x x x x

Well that is weird my man just noticed i got a scar under my eye and i have never noticed it my life lol but still i love him x x x



I could definitely go on...”

Someone please take me away from this world
kittyfantastico
24-09-2013
'like for an inbox' - wtf is that all about?
TrollHunter
24-09-2013
Originally Posted by kittyfantastico:
“'like for an inbox' - wtf is that all about?”

You 'like' their status and in return, they send insincere, tedious platitudes to you via PM. You feel all warm and cuddly because someone says nice things to you and they feel the same because someone likes them.

My kids do it all the time
MikeySaint859
24-09-2013
Originally Posted by TrollHunter:
“You 'like' their status and in return, they send insincere, tedious platitudes to you via PM. You feel all warm and cuddly because someone says nice things to you and they feel the same because someone likes them.

My kids do it all the time ”

BiB always make me feel slightly nauseous. I wish people would confine them to PMs!
paperplanes_
24-09-2013
Originally Posted by SuperAPJ:
“

Ugh, I don't want to believe that's genuine!”

Unfortunately it is so


She's written

"One monff wiv ma boi"
"Two monf wit ma bab"
"Three moff wivv da boyfreind"

and now it's "HAPPY EIGHT MONF ANNVERISAY". I want to peel her away from the computer and sit her down with a dictionary.
Kiko H Fan
24-09-2013
Originally Posted by himynameisami:
“A beautiful collection from someone I know:

Well i think nw the time to say nyt to everyone and hit the pillow as busy day tomorrow got to get up early and get ready and go to court nt me btw someone else i just said i will be there x x

Asif my nan just told me that my ex daz has had half his ear shot of lol gives me bare jokes that does

Well is sat on the sofa watching emmerdale then coro then eastenders having snuggles with my man and it is well comfey love him lots like jelly tots x x x x x x

Is sat upstairs under the quilt and watching tv as i am very ill chest infection and also got siatica and it kills like no 1ns buissness i want my man to cme and cuddle me make me feel better x x x x x x

Well that is weird my man just noticed i got a scar under my eye and i have never noticed it my life lol but still i love him x x x



I could definitely go on...”


Posts like this constantly remind me NEVER to sign up to Facebook.
paperplanes_
24-09-2013
Originally Posted by kittyfantastico:
“'like for an inbox' - wtf is that all about?”

I've seen "like for an indirect"
rumpleteazer
24-09-2013
Originally Posted by paperplanes_:
“I've seen "like for an indirect"”

Someone should start 'like for a like'. All the facebook morons would be stuck liking each other back and forth leaving facebook open for the sensible people.
paperplanes_
24-09-2013
Originally Posted by rumpleteazer:
“Someone should start 'like for a like'. All the facebook morons would be stuck liking each other back and forth leaving facebook open for the sensible people.”

I might do that to see if anyone ACTUALLY replies
LaceyLouelle3
24-09-2013
Originally Posted by rumpleteazer:
“Someone should start 'like for a like'. All the facebook morons would be stuck liking each other back and forth leaving facebook open for the sensible people.”

There is such a thing as 'like for a like'...If you like their status, they'll write on your wall, with what it is they like about you.
MissPinotGrigio
24-09-2013
*facepalms*

SHG has taken a pic of a cup of hot chocolate. At her work desk. So far so boring.

But..... there's a picture of a client's cheque in the background. Complete with sortcode & account number.

If I did that I'd be sacked on the spot. And she's friends with all her work colleagues. And has open pic access to all & sundry......

She truly is a frickin' moron of the highest order.
SuperAPJ
25-09-2013
^ Courtney Stodden is pretty much what I've imagined SHG looks like! I bet I'm way off though!
acker
25-09-2013
Originally Posted by rumpleteazer:
“Someone should start 'like for a like'. All the facebook morons would be stuck liking each other back and forth leaving facebook open for the sensible people.”

I honestly dont think most of them would notice any difference.
MissPinotGrigio
25-09-2013
Originally Posted by SuperAPJ:
“^ Courtney Stodden is pretty much what I've imagined SHG looks like! I bet I'm way off though! ”

Nah, she's pretty alright & looks like Lauren Conrad but has dead eyes. And a dead brain. And a very dull life...
My Sweet Life
25-09-2013
Originally Posted by paperplanes_:
“I've seen "like for an indirect"”

I've seen that too and because I'm a bit thick (or not down with the kids, take your pick), I don't know what it means?
Ella Nut
25-09-2013
Originally Posted by Kiko H Fan:
“Posts like this constantly remind me NEVER to sign up to Facebook.”

Amen. People look at me like I'm from another planet when I tell them I am not interested in Facebook but the more I see/hear about it, the more I realise I am the sane one.
AnitaS
25-09-2013
Originally Posted by MissPinotGrigio:
“*facepalms*

SHG has taken a pic of a cup of hot chocolate. At her work desk. So far so boring.

But..... there's a picture of a client's cheque in the background. Complete with sortcode & account number.

If I did that I'd be sacked on the spot. And she's friends with all her work colleagues. And has open pic access to all & sundry......

She truly is a frickin' moron of the highest order.”

If she's a friend, tell her to take the photo down immediately, it's not fair on the client to have their details on show. That's a sacking offence for most, I would think. What a fool.
rache_
25-09-2013
Originally Posted by AnitaS:
“If she's a friend, tell her to take the photo down immediately, it's not fair on the client to have their details on show. That's a sacking offence for most, I would think. What a fool.”

Someone's told her but the photo is still there...
MissPinotGrigio
25-09-2013
Originally Posted by AnitaS:
“If she's a friend, tell her to take the photo down immediately, it's not fair on the client to have their details on show. That's a sacking offence for most, I would think. What a fool.”

What's maddening is she won't get sacked, because they all think she's endearingly ditzy and sweet. If she was ditzy and ugly she'd be escorted out by security by now.

Rache - I dare you to not-so delicately point it out to her! I haven't the heart.... looks like her colleagues are just as dozy as she is.
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