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Worst Facebook status updates (Part 2) |
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#2476 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: St. Albans, UK, Team Wagner
Posts: 42,866
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Quote:
Ah yes this reminds me of another FB gem which I see from time to time. The ones who announce they are having a FB friend clearout. Cue all the "I hope I don't get deleted comments"
![]() Today I have had the weekly (at least) post from one particular person "feeling angry" "Wats up hun?" "can't say on here. Will pm you." >:(
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#2477 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 469
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the correct thing to do is comment "vaguebook.com"
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#2478 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Summerseat
Posts: 7,311
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Quote:
^^^ It's a new FB 'game', although chain letter is a more accurate title.
Someone posts something along the lines of, "I know nobody will see my status but sometimes I like to dig a hole in my backyard, stand in the hole, and pretend I’m a carrot." If you respond, you receive this message via IM: (Note the use of the passive-aggressive "unless you have lost your sense of humour." The person on my FB who does every single one of the "What month are you....? What cheese are you....? What colour are you....?" did this so I knew straight off it was going to be the latest craze doing the rounds. |
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#2479 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Summerseat
Posts: 7,311
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Quote:
That really gets on my nerves, if its so private why do they announce theyre upset on the main page?
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#2480 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Purgatorium
Posts: 17,627
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All the sour grapes posts this morning.
I think I'll be happy to half my friends list, sick of the ridiculous berating constantly. |
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#2481 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: South East
Posts: 2,286
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Well my fav this morning is
"omg why does everyone else's pregnancy go quickly, I'm only 20 weeks I cant wait to be with my son and grow up and be a mum, leave all you sad bitches behind". The girl got pregnant 4 weeks into a new relationship. |
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#2482 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Back of the shed.
Posts: 14,029
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This is the third status i've seen where someone has said they're "pretending to be a carrot"
"I know nobody will see my status but sometimes, when I am bored, I go into the garden, I cover myself in earth and I pretend I am a carrot" What's that all about? |
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#2483 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Newcastle
Posts: 4,837
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Quote:
This is the third status i've seen where someone has said they're "pretending to be a carrot"
"I know nobody will see my status but sometimes, when I am bored, I go into the garden, I cover myself in earth and I pretend I am a carrot" What's that all about? |
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#2484 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 25,385
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Quote:
Oh, and to evoke to a very old post of mine buried somewhere within this thread, I'm in the middle of another of the "hollibobs" lady's weeks away from work.
Actual non-edited posts: Saturday: "Yaay, day one of my holibobs xxx" Sunday: "Day two of my holibobs xx" Monday: "Day three of my holibobs, goin so fast "Tuesday: "Fourth day of mu holibobs!! xxxx" I already look forward to the inevitable "day one of my new job" or perhaps "day one of my unemployment" posts! |
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#2485 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 432
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A status put on fb by my cousin was 'need a wee but can't be bothered getting up'.
For crying out loud!!! |
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#2486 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Scotland
Posts: 10,719
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Quote:
This utter gem just came up on my newsfeed.
"With it being bank holiday Monday is Barclays open today? If so what time till?" One of my FB friends just flew to Australia on Malaysian Airlines. Lots of updates about how great it is that the ticket was so cheap, the plane was empty so he could stretch out etc. Erm, it was cheap and empty because of two crashes that cost people their lives! Also, Scottish thing, all the Yes supporters putting '45' badges on their profile pics. Aren't we supposed to be moving on and uniting as a nation instead of emphasising our division? (The '45' refers to the 45% who voted for independence). |
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#2487 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 6,202
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I feel sorry for the kids of someone on my fb. Basically the mother gets fed up of where she lives and moves house regulary. She has three kids, two school age and one pre- school. The eldest has behavioural issues and her middle one has learning difficulties and the school they are settled in has given each of them an assistant to help them.
Shes now on facebook asking for new school recommendations because shes moved house again and doesnt like taking them on the bus! Shes moved less than two miles away so wants her kids to go to the school near her house which already struggling with the growing number of kids in the area (especially those with english as a second oanguage) and its highly unlikely her kids will get the same level of attention. Still saves her a 5 minute bus journey! |
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#2488 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Nottingham
Posts: 1,949
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I really do despair - the following is 2 extracts from a conversation moaning about not getting paid.
XX XX I dunno how you spell it, that black horse xx XX XX Llyods xx How can you not know how to spell the name of your bank FFS!! |
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#2489 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,284
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Quote:
They had to get a translator in at the benefits office today. Somebody came in speaking English Shared by an unemployed criminal who has never worked a day in his life.
![]() Share if you laughed! |
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#2490 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 25,385
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Quote:
Breaking news!!!!!! Holibobs lady announced yesterday that she has handed in her notice and is leaving her job in two weeks.
I already look forward to the inevitable "day one of my new job" or perhaps "day one of my unemployment" posts! This morning: "Woop Woop! Five days to go!!" I know I keep posting about this woman, but it seems like her entire Facebook existence seems to be counting down to her next day off! |
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#2491 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 25,385
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Another thing I just spotted that amused me! This girl is occasionally a bit of a moaner on Facebook, though by no means someone who seems to constantly crave online attention.
"Literally the worst day ever, happy birthday to me!!!! "She might legitmately have something sad going on, but in any case, nobody cared to ask. She just had six people reply to the status with a variation of "happy birthday Lizzie!!!", to which she replied with a "thanks " everytime. Is it mean I found that amusing?
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#2492 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Lost
Posts: 12,640
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Quote:
Another thing I just spotted that amused me! This girl is occasionally a bit of a moaner on Facebook, though by no means someone who seems to constantly crave online attention.
"Literally the worst day ever, happy birthday to me!!!! "She might legitmately have something sad going on, but in any case, nobody cared to ask. She just had six people reply to the status with a variation of "happy birthday Lizzie!!!", to which she replied with a "thanks " everytime. Is it mean I found that amusing? ![]()
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#2493 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 6,202
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I have a friend who i kinda feel sorry for but at the same time her updates make me think ugh here we go again.
Poor girl has something wrong with her, but she hasnt specifically said what her diagnosis is. I know shes had lots of operations lately and lots of struggles. The thing is its really affecting her personality and she has sort of become this illness. She used to post typical normal person statuses but noe every single one is typical of this.. "Day 14. Wound has started leaking again nurse will be coming round later to put a new dressing on. Hope i can sleep better tonight""Day 15. Got to go back to hospital to get a new vac fitted. Hopefully this one will be better than the other and i will start to heal. Finding it hard to move and hadnt had a shower since before the op." She seriously puts daily updates about leaky wounds etc and its beyond the point of sympathy. She used to get loads of sympathy replies but now nobody bothers. I feel sorry for her but shes really letting the illness define her and her life revolves around it. Nobody wants to hear how she was exstatic that she had a crap so could leave hospital, or how her wound has leaked through her dressing, or how her vac machine batteries went flat at four in the morning. |
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#2494 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Sarf coast.
Posts: 16,526
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Not a status update....but...
People who must have seen your name crop up on FB for many years due to having mutual friends - or people in your past who you weren't really friends with but see you in town or on social networks SUDDENLY sending you a friend request......because they have a baby to brag about. ![]() I have even had people unfriend me...then send me another friend request when they have given birth and want you to coo over their baby pics! So rude! I can understand if I had kids (I don't) and they were infertile and feeling resentful or something....but that's not the case. |
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#2495 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Newcastle
Posts: 4,837
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26 year old woman with a 2 year old child actually asking people (I got an inbox i assume others did too) to like her status about having had a great days as she is trying to make someone jealous
26 years old..... |
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#2496 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,284
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"Gaurds called just there again and they called lastnight looking for my.mother, a man whos going with my aunt called my mother a tinker and a whore from guranabraher,this.happened at the food festival yesterday. Because of my children.im not going to violent. I just told the gaurds that il kill him unless they punish him for it. Iv a daughter and a son who I want to set a goodexample for.but I dont no what il do if I see him my head is saying remain calm for the greater good,but another voice is saying open up his head and kill him.I want to kill him.id love to cut his f*cking throat for what hesaid. I.hope.the shit gaurds sort him out. My mother gets an awful doing from.these f*cking people, il do something that will shock this hole country if the gaurds don't deliver. im as serious as cancer"
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#2497 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 469
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the previously unheard verse of Rhythm Is A Dancer there.
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#2498 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Back of the shed.
Posts: 14,029
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Someone I know has posted that she's off on yet another holiday. This is her third one this year too.
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#2499 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Back of the shed.
Posts: 14,029
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Quote:
Breaking news!!!!!! Holibobs lady announced yesterday that she has handed in her notice and is leaving her job in two weeks.
I already look forward to the inevitable "day one of my new job" or perhaps "day one of my unemployment" posts! She sounds like one of those who posts either telling us about when they have meetings or what they're getting up to at work or even posts "roll on 5pm" |
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#2500 |
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Inactive Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 5,292
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Apparently haloween is national kill a dog day. Once parents have finished taking their children trick or treating. They will return to the street with knives, hammers and baseball bats and kill any dogs they see. DO NOT take your dog for a walk this haloween .
How the heck do people fall for this crap
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