Just seen this little gem:


Charming girl.

A friend updated her status with 'just going to the hairdresser's, will chat later'.
I'm waiting for the selfies to start appearing of her 'new haircut'.
So far they've not yet appeared but she must be back as I've just seen her husband post to her wall 'love ya new haircut babe, really suits you'.
He's probably sat next to her on the settee, wouldn't it have been quicker to say it to her face?

I have a few couples on my Facebook who like to 'chat' to each other on there for all to see - when you just know they are sat in the same room.

Purely attention seeking. There's no other reason to post your conversation publicly other to to hope or expect people will somehow be interested in the banality of your life and 'like' it. It's a form of validation for really needy people.

This is timely. I know it's not Facebook, but the same applies.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B5-PxRACUAAfNpe.jpg:large

A love story...

"Is my man ok plz someone tell meif he is ok? I not with him just yet but I will be soon plz I am so worried about my man, I sorry Josh but I love you baby and if anyone has hurt you I will jump as your my man and I love you with all my heart!!
Plz be ok baby xxx"

Turns out, Josh had passed out on his Mum`s couch after a few festive pints.

She got replies like - OMG talk about over-reacting!

"I have every right to ask if my boyfriend is ok, attitude much, omfg its a wonderful he hasn't told certain people where to go!! "

A revived Josh: "I had a f*cking gutfull my girl has attitude towards her cause she asks If I was ok, next people question her why she is using my account well I have giving her my Facebook details you don't like it f*ck off, I not putting up with all this nonsence, leave her alone or I will ark up more!!! ;(
Oh yea the birthday shit is cancelled!!!!!!"

Josh: "Now I have run after my girl cause she ran out of the house scared, upset and crying cause of it all! "

Josh: "I found my girl thank god, she back home with me, she won't let me go and is curled up to me she is so upset and scared! I love you babe and here for you xx"

Josh: "Curled up in bed with my girl watch my new dvd I bought today which is The Royal Edinburgh Military Tattoo 2014, ‪my girl‬ loves it xx"

Aww.

Bet the film rights are snapped up sharpish.

LOL

He makes the girlfriend sound like a skittish kitten

I also like how he updated his status as he ran after her!

I used to have a couple who would 'flirt' on fb comments and basically spell out what was happening......Then wink wink at what had just happened

Got rid of them

There's a member of a group I am also a member of with the name "whino" in between her first name and surname. Just why??

A group can also be 'secret', which means that it does not show on your profile page that you are a member of it.


Some people seem to collect "friends". Sometimes they are commercial organisations: there is nothing very enticing about receiving a 'friend' request from a letting agency or restaurant; others are just friends-of-friends (of friends) who want to add another scalp. I tend to ignore any friend requests from people I don't recognise, and always do if they don't come up as having mutual friends. My daughter, who is (obviously) a generation younger than me, pretty, and in a more prestigious job, gets hundreds of friend requests, often from total strangers.

I can imagine a slow motion scene of them happily shopping together.

Josh: "Have decided I will be buying this kilt just after my birthday with a set of spats and either navy or black hose which are socks to go with it, Purple flashes, and Horse hair sporron also."

Josh: "Mostlikey will buy this two tail horse hair sporran $122.18"

Josh: "Will buy these Purple flashes next pay"

Josh: "One of these pair Spats I will be buying"

Yes! What a guy!

I think I had them as friends Or if not, a couple very similar. They would post a photo of the rumpled bed after and satisfied selfies. If facebook didn't exist they'd be into dogging.

It's even worse when you're out and you recognise said little man with some random family member because you see just that many pictures on them online.

Thus made me laugh so much especially the kitten part it did read like that

Not a status update but something that amused me from the world of facebook. My cousin got married recently and two months before the wedding fell out with me because i dared to elope and get married before her! She also fell out with my parents because they were unable to attend her weekday wedding due to work.

My sister was bridesmaid and really looking forward to it as she had never done it before. Anyway after the wedding cousin blocked me, mum and dad from seeing her profile and deleted my sister but shes still able to view it.

Sister was looking forward to the photos as she was all done up with hair and make up and wanted to see them all and cousin uploaded them. My sister had been cropped out of every single one! She was in one that was taken on someones phone, and the back of her head in another! All the other bridesmaids feature heavily in the album but theres not a single face shot of my sister!

All the photos with the other bridesmaids have soppy captions about her wonderful bridesmaids, but no mention of the other one!

That's awful! Your cousin sounds like an absolute spoiled bell end! At least you are safe in the knowledge that you never need to deal with her ever again.

My friend from all the previous posts, posted a status the other day along the lines of

"fainted and woke up with blood coming from my head, going to phone 999 soon"

A couple of hours later he changed both his profile picture and cover photo to a picture of him attached to a drip, someone commented asking what was wrong which resulted in another status;

"check my previous status, need my head glued back together"

A girl on my friend's list, who did two years of a nursing course before she dropped out, has just asked what the symptoms of flu are.

I know someone who recently discovered she is very distantly related to a defunct aristocratic family, so she now puts their fancy double barrelled name in with her common one on Facebook (let's say it's "Anna Pilkington-Cholmondely Smith") and now says she's going to get her name legally changed to this even though it would give her THREE surnames ...

Humpty Dumpty alive and well.

Another chain post popping up everywhere at the moment:

"As of January 4th 2015 at 9:45 p.m. Central standard time. I do not give Facebook or any entities associated with Facebook permission to use my pictures, information, or posts, both past and future. By this statement I give notice to Facebook it is strictly forbidden to disclose, copy, distribute or take any other action against me based on this profile is private and confidential information. The violation of privacy can be punished by law (UCC 1-308-11 308-103 and Rome statute). NOTE: Facebook is now a public entity. All members must post a note like this. If you prefer, you can copy and paste this version. If you do not publish this statement at least once it will be tactically allowing the use of your photos, as well as information contained in the profile status updates. DO NOT SHARE you MUST copy and paste this.... I will leave a comment so it will be easier to copy and paste"

Was just going to post this.
What the hell!