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Worst Facebook status updates (Part 2)
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fitnessqueen
08-01-2015
One of my not terribly intelligent friends has posted two of those videos that don't play and dump malware on your computer this week. He has also posted the bogus privacy notice and has thoughtfully posted a picture of a sick child because if the picture gets 100 shares the child will get a free heart transplant. Unfortunately the photo was first posted in 2011 so I had a mental picture of the surgeon hanging around for three years with the donor heart in a freezer just waiting for that magical 100th share...
chandlerp
08-01-2015
http://img-9gag-ftw.9cache.com/photo/aeNgN7j_700b.jpg
paperplanes_
08-01-2015
Originally Posted by Kyle123:
“A while ago we were discussing people who put stupid "middle names" in their Facebook name along the lines of "Tom MENTAL Smith" or "Sarah Proudmammy Jones"..

Well I was just looking at a friends page, and noticed that she had got a comment with someone with the middle name "crazybiatch"... biatch please.”

The girl my ex is trying to get on had "Moist Tissue" as her middle name....I think she's changed it to "Proud MommaBear". I'm still fairly friendly with my ex, so it's not me being bitchy.

I shit you not. Jane Moist Tissue Jones (not her name). I don't know if it's some alternative hipster thing or what, I'm just genuinely baffled!
Jason100
08-01-2015
Originally Posted by paperplanes_:
“"I can't sleep. Need to get shagged" - a 16 year old. I'm friends with her brother,”

How many likes did that one get?
paperplanes_
08-01-2015
Originally Posted by Jason100:
“How many likes did that one get?”

17. Some of them from men my age (23)
2la
09-01-2015
I have thoroughly enjoyed reading this thread. Made me lol at the coments to the statuses.
I have been deleted many a time by people for being a bit outspoken. So my Facebook has become a bit dull. For instance Everytime someone says they're pissed off I always ask them why and when they don't respond I tell them they not to write stuff if they don't want a conversation. However, most of these people have their Facebook public, probably to gain more attention.
I have someone on my friend list who posts lots of pictures of their cooking (when they're not tagging themselves and their bestie in the local macdonalds every day) looks like pure slop with tons of soggy veg swimming in watery gravy - makes me wanna puke.
mrsmoose
10-01-2015
Conversation I saw on one of my fb friends status (changed names)

Amy: So Excited!
Lucy: Why?
Amy: Cannot say yet
Lucy: I'm excited too but can't say until I announce it in another 2 months
Amy: think I know what it is. Congratulations hun
Lucy: Thanks hun
paperplanes_
10-01-2015
"Ere is a pikture ov a engagement ring. I like. It's nt 2 big or 2 taky. I'm v. Fussy"

A girl one of my guy friends is chatting too. I'm surprised that hasn't made him run scared....the spelling and the posting of rings after only chatting for a week.
pugamo
10-01-2015
Originally Posted by mrsmoose:
“Conversation I saw on one of my fb friends status (changed names)

Amy: So Excited!
Lucy: Why?
Amy: Cannot say yet
Lucy: I'm excited too but can't say until I announce it in another 2 months
Amy: think I know what it is. Congratulations hun
Lucy: Thanks hun”

Wow I wonder how Amy cracked that code. She should work for MI5
2la
10-01-2015
Watch out for the next sheep craze: you have to nominate people to put their first ever profile pic up. I'm guessing it's "just for fun and likes"
kiviraat
10-01-2015
Originally Posted by mrsmoose:
“Conversation I saw on one of my fb friends status (changed names)

Amy: So Excited!
Lucy: Why?
Amy: Cannot say yet
Lucy: I'm excited too but can't say until I announce it in another 2 months
Amy: think I know what it is. Congratulations hun
Lucy: Thanks hun”

Wow! I bet everyone is going to revel in the mystery for another 8 weeks!
francie
10-01-2015
Originally Posted by mrsmoose:
“Conversation I saw on one of my fb friends status (changed names)

Amy: So Excited!
Lucy: Why?
Amy: Cannot say yet
Lucy: I'm excited too but can't say until I announce it in another 2 months
Amy: think I know what it is. Congratulations hun
Lucy: Thanks hun”

Brain transplant?
bookaddict
11-01-2015
Originally Posted by fitnessqueen:
“One of my not terribly intelligent friends has posted two of those videos that don't play and dump malware on your computer this week. He has also posted the bogus privacy notice and has thoughtfully posted a picture of a sick child because if the picture gets 100 shares the child will get a free heart transplant. Unfortunately the photo was first posted in 2011 so I had a mental picture of the surgeon hanging around for three years with the donor heart in a freezer just waiting for that magical 100th share...”

Honestly! I don't understand how anyone can believe that getting Facebook shares will have any affect whatsoever on whether or not someone gets treatment. Can people really be that incredibly stupid?
James Frederick
11-01-2015
Originally Posted by 2la:
“Watch out for the next sheep craze: you have to nominate people to put their first ever profile pic up. I'm guessing it's "just for fun and likes"”

I'm still using the same one I started with about 8 years ago.
DaisyBumbleroot
11-01-2015
Originally Posted by 2la:
“Watch out for the next sheep craze: you have to nominate people to put their first ever profile pic up. I'm guessing it's "just for fun and likes"”

Yep, i've been "nominated"
Rachael.
11-01-2015
Originally Posted by mrsmoose:
“Conversation I saw on one of my fb friends status (changed names)

Amy: So Excited!
Lucy: Why?
Amy: Cannot say yet
Lucy: I'm excited too but can't say until I announce it in another 2 months
Amy: think I know what it is. Congratulations hun
Lucy: Thanks hun”

I love this
Vernon Bennett
11-01-2015
Originally Posted by mrsmoose:
“Conversation I saw on one of my fb friends status (changed names)

Amy: So Excited!
Lucy: Why?
Amy: Cannot say yet
Lucy: I'm excited too but can't say until I announce it in another 2 months
Amy: think I know what it is. Congratulations hun
Lucy: Thanks hun”

This didn't happen as there isn't a 'x' after every sentence.
cherrytops(82)
11-01-2015
Going to college
Batanya
11-01-2015
Originally Posted by Jason100:
“Another chain post popping up everywhere at the moment:

"As of January 4th 2015 at 9:45 p.m. Central standard time. I do not give Facebook or any entities associated with Facebook permission to use my pictures, information, or posts, both past and future. By this statement I give notice to Facebook it is strictly forbidden to disclose, copy, distribute or take any other action against me based on this profile is private and confidential information. The violation of privacy can be punished by law (UCC 1-308-11 308-103 and Rome statute). NOTE: Facebook is now a public entity. All members must post a note like this. If you prefer, you can copy and paste this version. If you do not publish this statement at least once it will be tactically allowing the use of your photos, as well as information contained in the profile status updates. DO NOT SHARE you MUST copy and paste this.... I will leave a comment so it will be easier to copy and paste"”

Oh yes, I've had loads of FB friends copying and pasting this. I did ask a couple of them what "Central Standard Time" is in the UK....deafening silence was followed by frantic inactivity haha!

I have a FB "friend" who once forwarded a post celebrating the birthday/anniversary of the "First woman on the Moon". (No, me neither....it turned out to be a character in a book)

One of my (quite lovely) FB friends posted a "belly" pic of herself at 6 months pregnant. All well and good but she was wearing the most awful, greying, saggy bra and horrible tracksuit bottoms which she had rolled down to display her baby bump. Worse of all, she reposted the pic last month on her "Year in Review" status!!!
Tt88
11-01-2015
Someone in their 50s posted one of these (names changed)

Jean smith is with amy smith and anna smith at the maternity unit, hospital.

Cue loads of comments along the lines of

Wow jean a granny again! Didnt know amy was expecting again!
Amy you kept that quiet! You will be busy with 3 little ones!
Good luck amy, i know you will be fine!

And then jean had to let everyone know that it was actually anna having a baby! Talk about awkward!

The thing is amy is a bit like that. She dropped out of school and ended up pregnant at a young age, left home and then ended up pregnant again with a different bloke, none of them sticking round further than the conception. Shes exactly what the papers portray when then go on about single mums on benefits, smoking, drinking, uneducated etc.

Her sister on the other hand did well at school, stayed out of trouble and went to college to get more formal qualifications. I think it says a lot when people who are friends with jean find out shes having another grandchild and automatically assume its her eldest!

How do you get something like that wrong though? Surely if youre friends with someone then you would know which of their kids is pregnant? Or is this another facebook thing where people are "friends" without actually knowing anything about each other.
gem2626
11-01-2015
Just had a friend request from someone I don't know. On further inspection I found it's a friends mum but I still don't know her.

A status from 8 hours ago basically says she's deleted people off her friends list as they are not showing any support on her page for an ordeal she is going through, to not take offence but there is little point in them being on her friends list!

So delete your friends and then add me- a stranger!

What the hell does she expect from me!
francie
11-01-2015
Originally Posted by gem2626:
“Just had a friend request from someone I don't know. On further inspection I found it's a friends mum but I still don't know her.

A status from 8 hours ago basically says she's deleted people off her friends list as they are not showing any support on her page for an ordeal she is going through, to not take offence but there is little point in them being on her friends list!

So delete your friends and then add me- a stranger!

What the hell does she expect from me!”

Unconditional and un-ending support
gem2626
11-01-2015
Originally Posted by francie:
“Unconditional and un-ending support ”

Like she's gonna get that
Derek Faye
11-01-2015
Originally Posted by gem2626:
“Like she's gonna get that ”

Haha!
miaow_sponge
11-01-2015
Originally Posted by Vernon Bennett:
“This didn't happen as there isn't a 'x' after every sentence.”

Oh I know what you mean about those types of people
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