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Worst Facebook status updates (Part 2)


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Old 29-01-2015, 20:16
kiviraat
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when a mutual friend was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer, her response was 'at least you know what's wrong, not like me, the doctors are baffled...'
How utterly shameless!

"To all da skanky whores who are calling me a bad Mum" . Say it to my face and Ill smash ur face in"

Quite the role model
The irony of that status is evidently lost on her
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Old 29-01-2015, 20:45
hobbleit
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Anyone else started getting the latest nomination fad? Now it's telling everyone 7 things about yourself...thrilling stuff!
Yes and, somewhat not surprisingly, every single person seems to be putting "I couldn't live without my boyfriend/husband" as one of the facts.

That isn't a fact, that's a worrying sign of co dependence..
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Old 29-01-2015, 20:57
Batanya
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"To all da skanky whores who are calling me a bad Mum" . Say it to my face and Ill smash ur face in"

Quite the role model
Yes.....It's quite impressive that she can actually spell the word "whore" correctly!

My sis in law is a bit of a hippy and she's heavily into "alternative" health remedies, an alarming number of which seem to involve cannabis in some shape or form. She's always posting "Positive vibes to all of my friends" etc etc, and is a big fan of sending "Angels to those who need them", along with flaky accounts from people who have seen ghosts, people who think that a random pigeon feather that they've spotted on the pavement means that a loved one is watching over them, and those who give credence to their daily horoscope.

Another FB friend has just posted a pic of herself and her bloke, both of whom are heavily (and suspiciously) suntanned. The pic does them no favours, they both look like TOWIE rejects, her face is redder and shinier than a newly plucked tomato. Another friend posted underneath, "Lovely pic hun, shame about the colour lol! xx"

Talk about a backhanded compliment!
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Old 29-01-2015, 21:01
paperplanes_
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The picture isn't on her page anymore but she had put it on and captioned it something like "aw baby ma arsehole is bleeding". Someone must have reported it she puts these sort of pictures on often and complains when they get reported. The last one was of a fat woman bent over and she had a very large, wide open, erm....area!!

Jayiden Now that's a new one I can't stand people who write like that. Wiv, ere, luks, lyk arrrghhh just NO!!! Lol
she seems like a treat.

Yeah she's got a few chavvy friends. They've all got kids about the same age. All "typing bout there darlin babiies and ow deyv got to lukk afta tdem nd b mummy nd daddi"

Sapphire-Maii
Cobey-Bear
and the best one: Dreams Brook-lynne
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Old 29-01-2015, 22:41
TrollHunter
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I have a girl on my friends list who is very Jeremy Kyle. And she posted this gem

"ah call ma wee jayidens name oout in asda cos hes wondered off nd two otha kids reply wiv im ere mummi! Luks lyk otha mums gt gud taste 2"
That's surely got to be a parody of a chav? Surely no-one really writes like that? And to then have the archetypal chav name of Jayden and state that other chavvy kids having the same name is something to be proud of, nah, not buying it. No-one's THAT stereotypical!
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Old 30-01-2015, 00:00
Westy2
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I've had this the past week or so but it's started to die down now. I never get nominated for any of these things I don't know whether to be offended or not! Not that I'd join in anyway coz I'm miserable that way plus I don't have 7 interesting facts. Although neither have any of the people I've saw posting have!
I cant think of one let alone 7!

My female friend from school(not romantically involved with her, as Im not her type! Shes not lesbian, prefers different colour men!) has just nominated me.

Think I'll pass.
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Old 30-01-2015, 01:05
meglosmurmurs
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A small gripe, not sure if it's facebook or twitter or both, but when someone posts something mildly amusing it's then followed by "I'm dying", "I'm shaking', "I'm screaming" ect and three smileys that are crying with laughter. It's the reading equivalent of nails down a blackboard for me.
Especially if it wasn't really that funny.

Can't they just put "That's funny" or a witty retort, instead of getting hysterical.
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Old 30-01-2015, 10:27
Horton
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There is someone on my Facebook who constantly posts updates about being desperate to find work but is doing nothing to find it... he's waiting for it to fall in his lap! Yet when people suggest places with vacancies they're not good enough. Yeah, really desperate eh?
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Old 30-01-2015, 11:35
paperplanes_
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That's surely got to be a parody of a chav? Surely no-one really writes like that? And to then have the archetypal chav name of Jayden and state that other chavvy kids having the same name is something to be proud of, nah, not buying it. No-one's THAT stereotypical!
I don't know if she's taking the piss or not...she does have a son called Jayden and she does type in terrible spelling but I have no idea if she's joking about some kid having the same name or not.
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Old 30-01-2015, 12:12
cris182
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Originally Posted by Frankie_Little;76712468[B
]I think the daughter should say those things to her mum in private and not on Facebook.[/b] Although it must be frustrating to have a family member who is jeopardising their health by over-eating and smoking. I wonder if poor old 25 stone mum is depressed? A bit of friendly advice, an offer to take her to Slimming World, or to the Smoking Cessation Clinic, might be better than belittling her on social media.

On the other hand I had a Facebook friend (now deleted) who only ever posted attention-seeking updates about her precarious health and how hard done by she was. She wasn't particularly old, but she'd taken very early retirement, she was divorced with no kids, and I reckon she was bored and lonely. She had various aches and pains but nothing seriously wrong with her. She had absolutely no sympathy for anyone who was ill though, and when a mutual friend was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer, her response was 'at least you know what's wrong, not like me, the doctors are baffled...'
But if they have tried that then maybe publicly shaming her so her friends know she isn't helping herself might be a last resort for her kids

No doubt she has people tell her Doctors are useless and no help etc when she posts these statuses. But her family doing that will let people know not to pander to her etc and might make her realise
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Old 30-01-2015, 19:31
My Sweet Life
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A friend has posted a picture which reads: "Have you ever looked at someones Facebook status and thought oh just shut the f*** up?".

I do, regularly, at this friend's status updates.
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Old 31-01-2015, 18:50
Irishguy123
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Talk about gratitude

Guess my luck so I got to shop and after walking all the way up I realised I lost 50 cent so I was short for eggs so I was just gona go home.next thing this oldone comes up to me and says excuse me would you help me lift my shopping I've a a bad neck! So I said grand! And I took up all her bags And brought them out to the car! Then I went Back in and brought out threestacks of brickettes for her. I just said that's the lot! And I was walking away after saying bye she called me backand put 20euro into my hand! delighted!!!got me eggs afterall! thanks ugly old lady
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Old 31-01-2015, 19:17
Frankie_Little
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Talk about gratitude
Shame he called her an ugly old lady, otherwise that's quite a sweet update and a nice thing for him to do.
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Old 31-01-2015, 19:39
paperplanes_
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Why r gals so weird!!! Swear im Nevah as complikated as des women!"

Girls aren't weird. You just lie to your "bae" of the month then get pissed off when she's angry about it, you stupid douche.
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Old 01-02-2015, 00:06
Rachael.
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Oh dear the girl from my previous post has just posted this link and said:

WTF please tell me this is lies

http://empirenews.net/shocking-dna-r...elvis-presley/
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Old 01-02-2015, 01:01
wonkeydonkey
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A lady on my friends list is constantly posting, Here I am rushed back in hosi again, when is this all going to end? I did bite at first & sympathised with her.

Then her daughter came onto her status & said, Mother you are 25 stone you spend all day sat in a café eating crap. you smoke 40-60 cigs a day & drive a Mobility scooter everywhere you go,

We have had enough its time to help yourself.

I have watched since & have seen her daughter also post after this lady again put, No one gives a shit about me I just want to go to sleep & die. Her Daughters reply has been, Mother you have gained another 2 stone in weight, your still smoking the same amount of ciggies, Spend all day in that café with your Mobility scooter, to top it all you have now been warned about ringing 999 & wasting their valuable time
Could they wash any more dirty family linen in public? Have these people not got phones, or voice boxes, or some other means of communicating their mutual contempt?
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Old 01-02-2015, 01:40
TeganRhan
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Right I'm putting this gem out there with much much love, as she's a lovely girl...just a bit twp at times.
Her OP was "did they have dogs in Victorian times?" After much laughter and replys if WTF she ellobrated further "well I've never seen a portrait of Henry 8th with dogs and you know, when did we get them?"
I very kindly informed her Victorian times as the name suggests is queen Victorias rule where as Henry the eighth came before and that was the Tudor times.....and then I addressed the dog issue.
Like I said, she's lovely....but her heads in the shed sometimes.
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Old 01-02-2015, 01:45
Fanielle
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This wasn't a status update, but a comment on a post about a trademarked saying

"It doesn't say anything about the phrase being trademarked on urban dictionary though"
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Old 01-02-2015, 13:10
Jason100
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Someone's having a bad year it seems:

"1 day of month 11 to go to 2016"
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Old 02-02-2015, 08:20
Jambo_c
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Anyone else started getting the latest nomination fad? Now it's telling everyone 7 things about yourself...thrilling stuff!
I usually hate these kind of things but quite a few of the ones of these I've read have been quite good, mostly interesting and funny, although these have been from real mates who actually are interesting and funny.

Over the weekend I saw the update "My two boys (her husband and two year old) have had their hair cut and they look smart. x"

Thanks for that, I really don't know what I'd do without these thrilling updates. If my life ever gets that boring that the highlight of my Saturday is something as mundane as that then I'd want somebody to kill me.
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Old 02-02-2015, 10:56
pearlsandplums
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Apologies in advance for this one. It horrifies me that this woman went to school for at least 12 years and doesn't know how to use a full stop. I read it as she had 'wine-chilled bacon'

Romantic candelnight in with hubbie woodstove and fire lite !wine chilled bacon and mushroom garlic sherry creamy pasta sauce and tagletelli made and chocolate swirl cheesecake on way i cheated this time no homemade pud hubbie wanted to buy me dersert as a treat hope its as good as mine lol only joking! yum yum then a good snuggle and double episodes of benidorm to watch i love my hubbie so much cant wait till hes home xoxi
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Old 02-02-2015, 11:04
kiviraat
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Why r gals so weird!!! Swear im Nevah as complikated as des women!"
Well his use of English sure is damned 'complikated' if nothing else!

Seen an amazing shit storm the other day (a friend of a friend with a public profile) but she actually seems pretty unhinged so I won't post it. It's been removed now anyway.
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Old 02-02-2015, 11:46
TrollHunter
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Apologies in advance for this one. It horrifies me that this woman went to school for at least 12 years and doesn't know how to use a full stop. I read it as she had 'wine-chilled bacon'

Romantic candelnight in with hubbie woodstove and fire lite !wine chilled bacon and mushroom garlic sherry creamy pasta sauce and tagletelli made and chocolate swirl cheesecake on way i cheated this time no homemade pud hubbie wanted to buy me dersert as a treat hope its as good as mine lol only joking! yum yum then a good snuggle and double episodes of benidorm to watch i love my hubbie so much cant wait till hes home xoxi
The appalling grammar, punctuation and spelling aside, the above is why I dislike FB so much of the time. The whole purpose of posting something like that is pure attention seeking. In reality, no-one apart from her gives two shits as to what they're eating, and certainly not what they're watching on the TV, nor how much she loves her husband!!
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Old 03-02-2015, 12:08
Tt88
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"Thank god for *boyfriend* taking the kids to school. Dont know what i would do without him. Love him to bits xxx"

This poor girl on my fb. Apparently for the last few days shes been really ill with a kidney infection, extreme back and stomach pain and sickness and diarhea. Shes thrilled today because her boyfriend made the effort to do the ten minute walk to school with their kids!

He does nothing in life except for staying up late playing onhos x box, getting drunk with mates and sleeping all day. He had no problem letting her do everything around the house and taking the kids to school even though shes badly unwell. The one day he actually does something and shes praising him like hes just found the cure for cancer!

I feel so sorry for her because neither of them work so they dont have much money, yet it seems all the money they have goes on him. He goes out clubbing, drinking, staying out for days on end and shes always looking after their kids, cuts her own hair, doesnt really leave the house except for shopping and the school run. Its so unreal how everyone can see hes just using her as a free place to live but she puts up with it.
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Old 09-02-2015, 15:53
Tt88
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One of my facebook friends just uploaded pics before, during and after her son's first ever haircut.

He's 5 years old! Is it normal to leave it that long before having their first hair cut?
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