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Worst Facebook status updates (Part 2)
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bookaddict
26-09-2013
Originally Posted by himynameisami:
“A beautiful collection from someone I know:

Well i think nw the time to say nyt to everyone and hit the pillow as busy day tomorrow got to get up early and get ready and go to court nt me btw someone else i just said i will be there x x

Asif my nan just told me that my ex daz has had half his ear shot of lol gives me bare jokes that does

Well is sat on the sofa watching emmerdale then coro then eastenders having snuggles with my man and it is well comfey love him lots like jelly tots x x x x x x

Is sat upstairs under the quilt and watching tv as i am very ill chest infection and also got siatica and it kills like no 1ns buissness i want my man to cme and cuddle me make me feel better x x x x x x

Well that is weird my man just noticed i got a scar under my eye and i have never noticed it my life lol but still i love him x x x



I could definitely go on...”

*bangs head against wall repeatedly* It's less painful than translating those statuses!
Kiko H Fan
26-09-2013
Originally Posted by bookaddict:
“Also, the writing on that status gave me a headache! Why change 'happy' to 'happiiii'.....it is not even quicker to type!”

This is why I think Facebook is for moronic cretins.
D_bot
26-09-2013
Originally Posted by MikeySaint859:
“You're drunk, aren't you. ”

I wish! I'm pregnant so not had a drink in god knows how long!
pugamo
26-09-2013
JUST A MUM??!!! I can't stand it when people say "your just a mum!" Yes, I am a mum (and a damn good one)! That makes me an alarm clock, cook, maid, waitress, teacher, nurse, referee , handyman, security officer, photographer, counsellor, event planner, hairdresser, personal assistant, ATM & I scare away the boggie man. I don't get sick days or days off. I work DAY & NIGHT. I am on call 24/7 for the rest of my life. That's just BEING A MUM!! I may not be anything to you, but I am everything to someone!! Re-post if you're a proud MUM, who would do ANYTHING on this planet for your children
Scarlett Fever
26-09-2013
Originally Posted by pugamo:
“JUST A MUM??!!! I can't stand it when people say "your just a mum!" Yes, I am a mum (and a damn good one)! That makes me an alarm clock, cook, maid, waitress, teacher, nurse, referee , handyman, security officer, photographer, counsellor, event planner, hairdresser, personal assistant, ATM & I scare away the boggie man. I don't get sick days or days off. I work DAY & NIGHT. I am on call 24/7 for the rest of my life. That's just BEING A MUM!! I may not be anything to you, but I am everything to someone!! Re-post if you're a proud MUM, who would do ANYTHING on this planet for your children”

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
pugamo
26-09-2013
Originally Posted by Scarlett Fever:
“arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”

I know

It's impossible to know even where to start with that one!
Scarlett Fever
26-09-2013
Originally Posted by pugamo:
“I know

It's impossible to know even where to start with that one!”

you broke me!!
fizzle90
26-09-2013
"Can't wait for tomorrow but scared too......"

What's up hun xxxx
What's going on hun xxxx
Are you okay hun xxxxx

"I'm having the coil fitted!! xxxx"

Seriously? Who the f*ck cares?!?!
SuperAPJ
27-09-2013
This is rather off-topic as it's about Twitter but earlier I saw someone ask a celebrity for a 'cheeky tweet'. Argh!

Originally Posted by stirlingguy1:
“Anyone have the link to this hotpants girl on Facebook, I could do with a laugh?”

I think it'd be wrong to identity the people mentioned on here.

Originally Posted by pugamo:
“JUST A MUM??!!! I can't stand it when people say "your just a mum!" Yes, I am a mum (and a damn good one)! That makes me an alarm clock, cook, maid, waitress, teacher, nurse, referee , handyman, security officer, photographer, counsellor, event planner, hairdresser, personal assistant, ATM & I scare away the boggie man”

Spell-checker is one thing she's not!
MikeySaint859
27-09-2013
The longer this thread goes on the less surprised I am that I hardly use Facebook anymore. All the self-aggrandising, deluded crap people post about how "fun" they are and what wonderful parents/grandparents they are really does grind you down.
MikeySaint859
27-09-2013
Originally Posted by pugamo:
“JUST A MUM??!!! I can't stand it when people say "your just a mum!" Yes, I am a mum (and a damn good one)! That makes me an alarm clock, cook, maid, waitress, teacher, nurse, referee , handyman, security officer, photographer, counsellor, event planner, hairdresser, personal assistant, ATM & I scare away the boggie man. I don't get sick days or days off. I work DAY & NIGHT. I am on call 24/7 for the rest of my life. That's just BEING A MUM!! I may not be anything to you, but I am everything to someone!! Re-post if you're a proud MUM, who would do ANYTHING on this planet for your children”

What a deluded, self-serving, uber-dramatic, sickly, sentimental, vomit-inducing idiot. I bet she just loves No Charge by JJ Barrie.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n07Yy8orns4

And The Best by Tina Turner, which she will be convinced was written with her in mind.
Kiko H Fan
27-09-2013
Originally Posted by pugamo:
“JUST A MUM??!!! I can't stand it when people say "your just a mum!" Yes, I am a mum (and a damn good one)! That makes me an alarm clock, cook, maid, waitress, teacher, nurse, referee , handyman, security officer, photographer, counsellor, event planner, hairdresser, personal assistant, ATM & I scare away the boggie man. I don't get sick days or days off. I work DAY & NIGHT. I am on call 24/7 for the rest of my life. That's just BEING A MUM!! I may not be anything to you, but I am everything to someone!! Re-post if you're a proud MUM, who would do ANYTHING on this planet for your children”

Yet she has time to rant this crap on FB.
Hmmmm.
How often is she on there per day?
pugamo
27-09-2013
Originally Posted by Kiko H Fan:
“Yet she has time to rant this crap on FB.
Hmmmm.
How often is she on there per day?”

Probably about 5 status updates per day. She does get the day off sometimes when she's out clubbing on Saturday nights I wonder if I should remind her it's not all 24/7 hard slog being a proud mummy.
MissPinotGrigio
27-09-2013
And.... *throws grenade into the thread* Teachers. There, I said it.

"I only get 13 weeks off a year, boo hoo......" F**K OFF!
paperplanes_
27-09-2013
A Status of a girl I went to school with:




TODAY IS MOMENTOUS FOR VARIOUS REASONS.
number one. A YEAR AGO TODAY I MET *********** AAAAAAAAAAW HASNT IT BABE
number twooooooo. I AM GRADUATING GOOSE TODAY. AND HURRAHHHHHHHHH and EATING NOTHING BUT PEAS. AND CHEESE. WELL DONEEEEEEE. I will smile lots buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut so ummm THIS IS AWKWARD. I've just found out that APPARANTLY, according to an tale (WHICH WE ALL KNOW ARE TRUE) if you start knitting someone something and never finish it, its bad luck on the person it was intended for. well, considering I have about nine unfinished woolly scarves in my room right now, which I promised as gifts to about ninety different people about five years ago, I think I am, single handedly responsible for EVERYBODYS BAD LUCK, ITS MY FAULT. entirely my fault. I INVENTED BAD LUCK. I CREATED BAD LUCK. I KNITTED BAD LUCK INTO OUR LIVES. and im afraid it will not go until i finish nine scarves.



I think this girl needs her head checked.
Kiko H Fan
27-09-2013
Originally Posted by paperplanes_:
“A Status of a girl I went to school with:




TODAY IS MOMENTOUS FOR VARIOUS REASONS.
number one. A YEAR AGO TODAY I MET *********** AAAAAAAAAAW HASNT IT BABE
number twooooooo. I AM GRADUATING GOOSE TODAY. AND HURRAHHHHHHHHH and EATING NOTHING BUT PEAS. AND CHEESE. WELL DONEEEEEEE. I will smile lots buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut so ummm THIS IS AWKWARD. I've just found out that APPARANTLY, according to an tale (WHICH WE ALL KNOW ARE TRUE) if you start knitting someone something and never finish it, its bad luck on the person it was intended for. well, considering I have about nine unfinished woolly scarves in my room right now, which I promised as gifts to about ninety different people about five years ago, I think I am, single handedly responsible for EVERYBODYS BAD LUCK, ITS MY FAULT. entirely my fault. I INVENTED BAD LUCK. I CREATED BAD LUCK. I KNITTED BAD LUCK INTO OUR LIVES. and im afraid it will not go until i finish nine scarves.



I think this girl needs her head checked.”

Does she have cats?
pearlsandplums
27-09-2013
Someone on my feed checks in to his house every evening. His house is named (on FB at least) 'Chato *surname*'

Yes that should be chateau, at least it isnt Shato
paperplanes_
27-09-2013
Originally Posted by Kiko H Fan:
“Does she have cats?”

She does
ShenaeB
27-09-2013
Originally Posted by riverside 57:
“This was posted about a week ago on someone's status who is on my friend list..

Big clean out is long over due on this so if u notice over the next coming weeks that we are no longer friends .its because quite frankly u bore me or I'm sick of ur repetitive shite on this

Guess I mustn't have bored her or repeated myself enough for her to delete me as of yet! ”

I used to have a girl on FB that put this on everyday, got really annoying, in the end i deleted her before she deleted me.

I didnt really speak to her anyway and most her updates were just annoying rants about her work/neighbours/public in general. ARRRGH
MikeySaint859
27-09-2013
Originally Posted by paperplanes_:
“A Status of a girl I went to school with:




TODAY IS MOMENTOUS FOR VARIOUS REASONS.
number one. A YEAR AGO TODAY I MET *********** AAAAAAAAAAW HASNT IT BABE
number twooooooo. I AM GRADUATING GOOSE TODAY. AND HURRAHHHHHHHHH and EATING NOTHING BUT PEAS. AND CHEESE. WELL DONEEEEEEE. I will smile lots buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut so ummm THIS IS AWKWARD. I've just found out that APPARANTLY, according to an tale (WHICH WE ALL KNOW ARE TRUE) if you start knitting someone something and never finish it, its bad luck on the person it was intended for. well, considering I have about nine unfinished woolly scarves in my room right now, which I promised as gifts to about ninety different people about five years ago, I think I am, single handedly responsible for EVERYBODYS BAD LUCK, ITS MY FAULT. entirely my fault. I INVENTED BAD LUCK. I CREATED BAD LUCK. I KNITTED BAD LUCK INTO OUR LIVES. and im afraid it will not go until i finish nine scarves.



I think this girl needs her head checked.”

What did she graduate with? BA (Hons) in Attention Seeking? BTEC Diploma in Caps Lock?
MikeySaint859
27-09-2013
Originally Posted by Kiko H Fan:
“Does she have cats?”

Originally Posted by paperplanes_:
“She does ”

Jumping on and off the keyboard, presumably?
MissPinotGrigio
27-09-2013
Originally Posted by paperplanes_:
“A Status of a girl I went to school with:




TODAY IS MOMENTOUS FOR VARIOUS REASONS.
number one. A YEAR AGO TODAY I MET *********** AAAAAAAAAAW HASNT IT BABE
number twooooooo. I AM GRADUATING GOOSE TODAY. AND HURRAHHHHHHHHH and EATING NOTHING BUT PEAS. AND CHEESE. WELL DONEEEEEEE. I will smile lots buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut so ummm THIS IS AWKWARD. I've just found out that APPARANTLY, according to an tale (WHICH WE ALL KNOW ARE TRUE) if you start knitting someone something and never finish it, its bad luck on the person it was intended for. well, considering I have about nine unfinished woolly scarves in my room right now, which I promised as gifts to about ninety different people about five years ago, I think I am, single handedly responsible for EVERYBODYS BAD LUCK, ITS MY FAULT. entirely my fault. I INVENTED BAD LUCK. I CREATED BAD LUCK. I KNITTED BAD LUCK INTO OUR LIVES. and im afraid it will not go until i finish nine scarves.



I think this girl needs her head checked.”

Kids, this is what happens when you don't stay away from the electric lemonade. Drugs are baaaaayyyyd, kids.
SuperAPJ
28-09-2013
Originally Posted by MikeySaint859:
“What did she graduate with? BA (Hons) in Attention Seeking?”

Degree of narcissism.
Will_Bennetts
28-09-2013
Originally Posted by pugamo:
“JUST A MUM??!!! I can't stand it when people say "your just a mum!" Yes, I am a mum (and a damn good one)! That makes me an alarm clock, cook, maid, waitress, teacher, nurse, referee , handyman, security officer, photographer, counsellor, event planner, hairdresser, personal assistant, ATM & I scare away the boggie man. I don't get sick days or days off. I work DAY & NIGHT. I am on call 24/7 for the rest of my life. That's just BEING A MUM!! I may not be anything to you, but I am everything to someone!! Re-post if you're a proud MUM, who would do ANYTHING on this planet for your children”

And I'll bet whoever posted that still finds time to play candy crush on Facebook most of the day , plus go out and get pissed every weekend , while palming there kids off to grandmothers
hallstar
28-09-2013
Is that Just a Mum a cut and paste or shared status as I have seen a couple of people post exactly the same thing.
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