I mentioned it another thread (not sure if it counts here) - but I cant stand all the harvesting crap and guilt trip memes appearing on my feed like "95% of my friends won't share this. Share if you are against child abuse/discrimination.." etc etc. Most people would be just dont go on about it.

I've got one of these two. Several posts a day about how great their blag perfumes are 'smell like high street brands but bargain prices'.

I wouldn't mind once every so often but they post 8-10 times a day about it. Very quickly found themselves deleted.

Can't believe this one! Someone posted that he thought he was having a heart attack and was waiting for an ambulance.

We then got an update that he was in ambulance.

We were then updated that he had indeed had a heart attack.

We then got complaints about the beeps getting on his nerves.

Then we got a hospital selfie wired up to the machines.

Finally, we got a "shit guys, sweating and can't breathe".

Why tell Facebook and not a nurse? And if you'd had a heart attack, surely the priority is staying alive as opposed to telling Facebook?

Jesus Bloody Hell! Does the guy want bloody spectators to his death, or something??

If the poor guy is actually on death's door step, then I feel sorry for him. But to throw it out to all his Friends is just over the top! I'd hate to see that kind of update.

Someone on my friends list posted a few weeks back that her daughter (who is about 6) was really ill. Had just collapsed and if it carried on she'd call NHS direct for advice.

Sorry but if I had a small child who was so ill they collapsed the last thing I'd be doing is Facebooking about it. As I'd be far too busy heading to the a&e. As I'm sure anyone else with half a brain cell would too.

As my friend said, after reading Facebook you wonder how some people manage to survive at all.

From a girl with children in care and a boyfriend currently in prison for attempted murder:

"Happy Easter to my boys... Hope you've had a lovely day n the Easter bunnies brought u lots of chocolate to rub all round the adopters furniture have fun boys love ya!"

I really feel like asking the stupid creature where she thinks 'her boys' would be without their adoptive family?

Yeah I've deleted a few. If it isn't forever living, it's some health sprays that cure everything.
Most of them seem more interested in signing you to sell the product as well, rather than actually sell the product.

If I buy ten health sprays for £300 and then sign up ten people to do the same I could be earning an income beyond my wildest dreams. Or until the pyramid scheme collapses.

Yeah. If you just sign up with them and then get 10 people to sign up and make sure those 10 people all get 10 people to sign up you can make £3.25 right away. Easy money!

"Any1 no of any jobs goin? Job center on my case lol"

Friend "there's a job going at the local garage"

"Does it involve weekends? lol"

Friend "every other weekend I think"

"Cheers but I'm not that desprat lol. I like gettin pissed at weekends lol"

Considering she has been unemployed for nearly two years, you'd think she would be jumping at the chance.

I'[m on a neighbourhood FB page and you ought to see some of the posts from gormless deadbeats on that. "Where can I take my kids today?" "Any good box sets about?" "What's the weather to be like today?" "Anywhere decent I could go for a drive?" Jeeesus Wept!

'Anyone know what time the barbers next to mine shuts today?' This from a person who lives a 5 minute walk from it. Get out and find out for yourself. I assume it will be open now so just go along

Having said that this is the same person who on Easter Sunday was hoping the local shop would be open Monday because 'I am almost out of electric, Can't be f****d to get it now though, They better be open tomorrow or i will go mad at the lazy b******s'

Obviously i made it slightly more english based than idiot talk

I haven't looked through 100+ pages, so apologies if this one has already been mentioned - but I HATE posts containing naked children! You know, kids in the bath, naked paddling pool, etc etc.

They're usually things we've all done, or allowed our kids to do (far be it from me to criticise anyone who wants to let their kids paddle in the nuddy on a hot summer day) - but DO NOT post those pictures on Facebook! It's so inappropriate and potentially dangerous.

Plus photos of Little Johnny's first dump in a potty - please, please stop.

'wish i could be a bitch but its just not me'

From someone who's written plenty of nasty posts about her ex and his new girlfriend.

Especially the one in bold. Why not just look it up?

I know this has been mentioned loads of times but the ones that say: 'Having an awful day today', 'Why are people such b@st@rds/bitches', 'I am so angry I think I could cry/kill someone', 'Location status Hospital'.

All of which enlisit the usual responses of "why, what's up, is everything ok?" And then the original person never goes into details of why they are in that mood or why they are at the hospital in the first place.

Is it just me or has wedding fever started early this year?

Facebook seem to think that Ben Hardy who played Peter Beale in Eastenders played Ian Beale instead!

Best to give it to one of those desprat immigrants instead.

The friend can always apply for the X factor instead.

Sickness statuses are quite common now i think.

Someone i know updated her facebook to let everyone know she was in hospital with a suspected stroke (shes only 30). After a few days of loads of attention and sympathy posts, she then updated to reveal she was home and hadnt had a stroke but had accidently overdosed on some internet bought body building pills which led to a severe side effect that was similar to a stroke.

"Some people are so (insert derogatory adjective)"

Absolutely hate that one with a passion. Using 'some' when blatantly 99% of the time it's about one person. And if you have a problem with someone, say it to their damn faces.

Someone has just uploaded a picture which says "Name something you like about me" and the status is "Go...."

Pure attention seeker right there!

Guilty

It was a photo of my then 8 month old asleep in her baby bath mid-bath. I placed some bubbles strategically over her bits and photoshopped some sunglasses on to her face. She looked like she was just chilling out, it was very cute.

I understand the temptation, especially with little babies, but gahhh. Maybe it's a paranoia thing.

Oh, I have another one. Fecking selfies ALL THE TIME.

"Lunch with my mum" *sultry pout*
"Wedding fair!!!" *Close up of her gazing into the camera, NOT EVEN SMILING*
"Made some dinner" *Picture of self, no dinner in sight*
"Sunny day!!!" *Close up of self, gazing again*

Why gaze? Why? Why document EVERY SINGLE THING that occurs in your day-to-day life with a picture of yourself?

Yeah I ended un following her. A dozen posts a day about how great a home based business is, and others signed up banging on about it as well.

She messaged me inviting me to a business meeting. I asked her how much she earned. And she told me I would find out when I turned up.

Personally I'd rather not be in a business which involved pestering friends and family into joining up multiple times a day. And surely having 20 people in the same area all selling the same product isn't a great idea. Unless of course the product is just a front for a pyramid scam .

Me too. I find it sickening and manipulative and will never share if it's put that way. Has the completely opposite effect on me.