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Worst Facebook status updates (Part 2)
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Zeropoint1
05-12-2016
Originally Posted by Tiger Rag:
“His profile is public and he's deleted that post. Hmmm”

Now they've moved on to caring about cancer!

"Well everybody, I'm gonna say bye-bye to some of you. I'm watching the ones who will have the time to read this post until the end. This is a little test, just to see who reads and who shares without reading! If you have read everything, select "like" so I can put a thank you on your profile! I know that 97% of you won't broadcast this, but my friends will be the 3% that do. Please, in honor of someone who died, or is fighting cancer, or even had cancer, copy and paste. Write "done" in comments when you're finished.
This is for all who have suffered an suffering xxxxx"
Tiger Rag
06-12-2016
Originally Posted by Zeropoint1:
“Now they've moved on to caring about cancer!

"Well everybody, I'm gonna say bye-bye to some of you. I'm watching the ones who will have the time to read this post until the end. This is a little test, just to see who reads and who shares without reading! If you have read everything, select "like" so I can put a thank you on your profile! I know that 97% of you won't broadcast this, but my friends will be the 3% that do. Please, in honor of someone who died, or is fighting cancer, or even had cancer, copy and paste. Write "done" in comments when you're finished.
This is for all who have suffered an suffering xxxxx"”

This comes up quite often on mine. Yes, I'm aware it's a shitty disease. But everyone knows what it is.
Moany Liza
06-12-2016
Originally Posted by Tiger Rag:
“This comes up quite often on mine. Yes, I'm aware it's a shitty disease. But everyone knows what it is.”

Funny that all these things ALWAY cite 97%.

I can't bear people who think that sharing cr@p like this on Facebook is them "doing their bit" for charity. Get off your backside and do something constructive then - or dig deep in your pockets to donate - if you want to do something meaningful for people affected by cancer.

It's all utter mince and I ignore manipulative stuff like that 100% of the time!
Harvey_Specter
06-12-2016
The winner for this title has to be a status that says something like:

"Ahhhh why always me, this is terrible, I hate this!"

Comment: What's wrong?

Reply: Oh I'll inbox you, don't want to talk about it on here.

Just - Die.
Jason100
06-12-2016
I went on holiday a couple of weeks ago and took a picture from my plane window covered in rain with the terminal in the background. This was at Gatwick. One of my friends has nicked that picture for their own holiday status checked in at Heathrow!.
Gordon g
06-12-2016
There seems to be a trend lately of people filming themselves giving food and money to homeless people and fliming it for Facebook.

Now I'm sure it is because they want to help them out, and not because they are getting loads of likes and comments.
Sife Lucks
07-12-2016
Originally Posted by Gordon g:
“There seems to be a trend lately of people filming themselves giving food and money to homeless people and fliming it for Facebook.

Now I'm sure it is because they want to help them out, and not because they are getting loads of likes and comments.”

I can't stand that. Alot of the "famous" bloggers on YouTube do it.

They always play some soppy instrumental music and then give a speech to the camera about how we should be more thankful about what we have and look out for the less fortunate, then you see them walking over to the homeless (with microphones attached) and handing over gifts and hugging them and filming their reaction.

I can sort of let it go because it inspires other people to do nice things but at the same time it's just so engineered for likes and praise and it's sort of manipulative. Everytime I see one of the videos I just want to scream "put the ****ing camera down!!!".

But yeah, it's definitely something that's starting to pick up in popularity now. I wonder how the homeless people feel when they're being given a free meal but at the same time have a phone camera in their face documenting their reaction, knowing it'll end up on social media and probably be a viral video?
Goaty
09-12-2016
#yearinreview2016

And it only 9th Dec!
Harvey_Specter
09-12-2016
Originally Posted by Goaty:
“#yearinreview2016

And it only 9th Dec!”

I know, there's so much that could happen in the last few days vs the 300 plus!

Idiots!
Zeropoint1
09-12-2016
The now constant "2016 can do one / f*** off"

I don't think people understand that more and more beloved celebrity's, actors, musicians, writers and other famous and influential people from the 50's - 80's are going to start dropping off the perch.
Even 1990 was almost 27 years ago ffs.

There seems to be a collective surprise that a 93 year old has died!

I don't mean that disrespectfully, it's nature after all.

I suspect 2017 - 2025 will see a near celebrity genocide in some people's eyes.
pearlsandplums
09-12-2016
has anyone seen
'im looking for john (or any other name). If you see john tag him' with a picture of a drag queen or rough looking woman (im not sure which) underneath. Hilarious.

Another similar one, 'tag someone so they will have to look at this picture of a chair for no reason'. Comedy gold.

Am i just a grump, or are neither of these funny if you are over the age of five
Ben_Copland
09-12-2016
Originally Posted by pearlsandplums:
“has anyone seen
'im looking for john (or any other name). If you see john tag him' with a picture of a drag queen or rough looking woman (im not sure which) underneath. Hilarious.

Another similar one, 'tag someone so they will have to look at this picture of a chair for no reason'. Comedy gold.

Am i just a grump, or are neither of these funny if you are over the age of five”

MY wall was spammed with them yesterday, absolute *******, the lot of 'em.
pearlsandplums
09-12-2016
Originally Posted by Ben_Copland:
“MY wall was spammed with them yesterday, absolute *******, the lot of 'em.”

I think i saw six different ones yesterday. The first was vaguely amusing.
Its one of the worst things about FB. something can go from being amusing to being overdone within half an hour
Daisy Bennyboots
09-12-2016
Originally Posted by pearlsandplums:
“has anyone seen
'im looking for john (or any other name). If you see john tag him' with a picture of a drag queen or rough looking woman (im not sure which) underneath. Hilarious.

Another similar one, 'tag someone so they will have to look at this picture of a chair for no reason'. Comedy gold.

Am i just a grump, or are neither of these funny if you are over the age of five”

I get mummy/wine related ones constantly "Tag a friend who will open the wine before the kids go to bed". "Tag a hard working mummy who like wine". "Tag a friend who loves her proscetto, erm I mean her kids". Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.
pearlsandplums
09-12-2016
Originally Posted by Daisy Bennyboots:
“I get mummy/wine related ones constantly "Tag a friend who will open the wine before the kids go to bed". "Tag a hard working mummy who like wine". "Tag a friend who loves her proscetto, erm I mean her kids". Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.”

Top ten people who like a drink:
1, john
2, carol
3, paul
4, steven
5, peter
6, lorraine
7, mary
8, karen
9, janet
10, anne


Hilarious
Harvey_Specter
09-12-2016
Surely once you've unfollowed these people all is well with the world?
vintage_girl
09-12-2016
I have this very chavvy woman on my feed, I haven't unfollowed her out of sheer morbid fascination. Her life seems a constant conveyor belt of drama. Her statuses fall into several categories:

1. Bitching about the several dads of her multiple children. One of them is apparently particularly useless (she refers to him as 'the sperm donor') and the police are b******s for arresting her after she slashed his tyres (totally not her fault, he was winding her up)

2. Bitching about the social workers who "just don't get it". Cue, lots of comments from other chavvy friends about how she's a "fab mummy".

3. Slagging off the council's housing department. She keeps getting evicted for anti-social behaviour (although there's always an excuse....the neighbour "started it") and the council has by the sounds of it offered her several different homes, none of which are to her liking.

4. Slagging off the police, after they've arrested one of her friends or family for yet another bizarre incident (the latest one involved a mooning neighbour).

5. Bitching about how there are no decent men/how men don't know it when they've got a good woman (lol)/how she hates being single. The next day, posts "inspirational" quotes about how great it is to be single and how she doesn't need a man.

6. Statuses about how she's going to get wasted with her ladiezzz at the local nightclub.

I actually feel bad for her as she's obviously had a crap upbringing and as a result has made some crap choices in life but....her statuses are sometimes so outlandish I can't resist having a snigger.
Gordon g
09-12-2016
Originally Posted by vintage_girl:
“I have this very chavvy woman on my feed, I haven't unfollowed her out of sheer morbid fascination. Her life seems a constant conveyor belt of drama. Her statuses fall into several categories:

1. Bitching about the several dads of her multiple children. One of them is apparently particularly useless (she refers to him as 'the sperm donor') and the police are b******s for arresting her after she slashed his tyres (totally not her fault, he was winding her up)

2. Bitching about the social workers who "just don't get it". Cue, lots of comments from other chavvy friends about how she's a "fab mummy".

3. Slagging off the council's housing department. She keeps getting evicted for anti-social behaviour (although there's always an excuse....the neighbour "started it") and the council has by the sounds of it offered her several different homes, none of which are to her liking.

4. Slagging off the police, after they've arrested one of her friends or family for yet another bizarre incident (the latest one involved a mooning neighbour).

5. Bitching about how there are no decent men/how men don't know it when they've got a good woman (lol)/how she hates being single. The next day, posts "inspirational" quotes about how great it is to be single and how she doesn't need a man.

6. Statuses about how she's going to get wasted with her ladiezzz at the local nightclub.

I actually feel bad for her as she's obviously had a crap upbringing and as a result has made some crap choices in life but....her statuses are sometimes so outlandish I can't resist having a snigger.”

Her last eviction hasn't made the local paper has it? You've just described someone I went to school with down to a tee.
Harvey_Specter
09-12-2016
Originally Posted by vintage_girl:
“I have this very chavvy woman on my feed, I haven't unfollowed her out of sheer morbid fascination. Her life seems a constant conveyor belt of drama. Her statuses fall into several categories:

1. Bitching about the several dads of her multiple children. One of them is apparently particularly useless (she refers to him as 'the sperm donor') and the police are b******s for arresting her after she slashed his tyres (totally not her fault, he was winding her up)

2. Bitching about the social workers who "just don't get it". Cue, lots of comments from other chavvy friends about how she's a "fab mummy".

3. Slagging off the council's housing department. She keeps getting evicted for anti-social behaviour (although there's always an excuse....the neighbour "started it") and the council has by the sounds of it offered her several different homes, none of which are to her liking.

4. Slagging off the police, after they've arrested one of her friends or family for yet another bizarre incident (the latest one involved a mooning neighbour).

5. Bitching about how there are no decent men/how men don't know it when they've got a good woman (lol)/how she hates being single. The next day, posts "inspirational" quotes about how great it is to be single and how she doesn't need a man.

6. Statuses about how she's going to get wasted with her ladiezzz at the local nightclub.

I actually feel bad for her as she's obviously had a crap upbringing and as a result has made some crap choices in life but....her statuses are sometimes so outlandish I can't resist having a snigger.”

She sounds a catch, I want to add her. Help me out.
vintage_girl
09-12-2016
Originally Posted by Gordon g:
“Her last eviction hasn't made the local paper has it? You've just described someone I went to school with down to a tee.”

Don't think so, haven't seen it reported anywhere other than on her own Facebook. What region do you live in if you don't mind me asking?
francie
09-12-2016
Originally Posted by vintage_girl:
“I have this very chavvy woman on my feed, I haven't unfollowed her out of sheer morbid fascination. Her life seems a constant conveyor belt of drama. Her statuses fall into several categories:

1. Bitching about the several dads of her multiple children. One of them is apparently particularly useless (she refers to him as 'the sperm donor') and the police are b******s for arresting her after she slashed his tyres (totally not her fault, he was winding her up)

2. Bitching about the social workers who "just don't get it". Cue, lots of comments from other chavvy friends about how she's a "fab mummy".

3. Slagging off the council's housing department. She keeps getting evicted for anti-social behaviour (although there's always an excuse....the neighbour "started it") and the council has by the sounds of it offered her several different homes, none of which are to her liking.

4. Slagging off the police, after they've arrested one of her friends or family for yet another bizarre incident (the latest one involved a mooning neighbour).

5. Bitching about how there are no decent men/how men don't know it when they've got a good woman (lol)/how she hates being single. The next day, posts "inspirational" quotes about how great it is to be single and how she doesn't need a man.

6. Statuses about how she's going to get wasted with her ladiezzz at the local nightclub.

I actually feel bad for her as she's obviously had a crap upbringing and as a result has made some crap choices in life but....her statuses are sometimes so outlandish I can't resist having a snigger.”

Classy.
Tiger Rag
10-12-2016
Originally Posted by Zeropoint1:
“The now constant "2016 can do one / f*** off"

I don't think people understand that more and more beloved celebrity's, actors, musicians, writers and other famous and influential people from the 50's - 80's are going to start dropping off the perch.
Even 1990 was almost 27 years ago ffs.

There seems to be a collective surprise that a 93 year old has died!

I don't mean that disrespectfully, it's nature after all.

I suspect 2017 - 2025 will see a near celebrity genocide in some people's eyes.”

It has, for me, been a shitty year for deaths. Bit different when it's people you know though.
Westy2
10-12-2016
Originally Posted by Ben_Copland:
“MY wall was spammed with them yesterday, absolute *******, the lot of 'em.”

Someone shared one with a picture of Savile on.

Needless to say, that got hidden on the newsfeed.
Trulytrue
10-12-2016
See this on my feed this morning...

I don't care how you vote...or how you pray...if you are my friend you will always be my friend xxx

So loving so giving .. just complete BS though

You should have read her absolute mad red rage statuses when Brexit and then Trump got the vote. No one who disagreed with her was allowed to say so "This is my FB and if I want to rant I shall!!! it does not mean you can come on my page and try and give me reasons why you did what you did.

So seeing that this morning made me chuckle . she is not a chav, she is in her 40s she is fairly posh and always in the 1st class lounge at some airport or other .
Very self unaware though it seems

..
Zeropoint1
10-12-2016
Originally Posted by Trulytrue:
“See this on my feed this morning...

I don't care how you vote...or how you pray...if you are my friend you will always be my friend xxx

So loving so giving .. just complete BS though

You should have read her absolute mad red rage statuses when Brexit and then Trump got the vote. No one who disagreed with her was allowed to say so "This is my FB and if I want to rant I shall!!! it does not mean you can come on my page and try and give me reasons why you did what you did.

So seeing that this morning made me chuckle . she is not a chav, she is in her 40s she is fairly posh and always in the 1st class lounge at some airport or other .
Very self unaware though it seems

..”

I can beat that for true hypocrisy.

"I believe in freedom of speech. I also believe in block, report and delete"

Or something like that. It basically said if you share my point of view it's freedom of speech, if you don't you're a racist / xenophobe / insert insult here and I will report and block you!
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