/|\

dear god.

"I can't believe the human body can create something so wonderful #gorgeousbaby"

I think I was actually a little bit sick in my mouth when I read that. Every single one of her updates is about the baby too including around 100 identical pictures.

Fear not, Alice Cooper is on hand to help with his1972 classic about bad parents.

Little Betty ate a pound of aspirin
She got them from the shelf upon the wall
Betty's mommy wasn't there to save her
She didn't hear her little baby call

Dead babies can't take care of themselves
Dead babies can't take things off the shelf
Well, we didn't want you anyway
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

Daddy is an agrophile in Texas
Mommy's on the bar 'most every night
Little Betty's sleeping in the graveyard
Living there in burgundy and white

Dead babies can't take care of themselves
Dead babies can't take things off the shelf
Well, we didn't love you anyway
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

Goodbye, little Betty
Goodbye, little Betty
So long, little Betty
So long, little Betty
Betty, so long

Dead babies can't take care of themselves
Dead babies can't take things off the shelf
Well, we didn't need you anyway
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

Goodbye, little Betty

Order in the court
Order in this court room
Order, outside the court
Order in the court!

Anyone else hate the "full time mummy" thing on Facebook profiles?

Also the constant sharing pictures of inspirational quotes for single mothers and how it's the hardest job in the world. Ugh.

Can't be that hard, compared to a murder scene detective, a sexual abuse counsellor, a sewage works employee, brain surgeon, and if it makes you so utterly BORING!

I swear to god, I applaud the few friends of mine who manage to have kids and remain in charge of their own lives and personality. As opposed to the scores who just lose the plot and become dull, dull. dull. One is now taking a pic of their 2 year old asleep. Nice, but it's been every night for the last 3 months.

Yep. Two of my friends gave birth in the last few years and besides from the occasional picture uploaded, they NEVER really talk about their kids on Facebook. They work, drive, socialise and have fun with their friends and live their own lives while bringing up their kids in privacy. A few other people in my school year have changed their profile picture to a picture of their kids, constantly upload pictures of their kids, constantly make statuses about their kids and how proud they are, never talk about anything else and seem intent on having MORE kids even though they don't work, drive or have any sort of career plan.

I'm not saying there is anything wrong with sharing your kids pictures on Facebook, but I do wonder if some of these people going over the top with them whilst posting "omg, so proud of little man doing number 2 xxxxxx" have actually checked their privacy settings? If open to all and I suspect most of them all, this is how photos get falsely used...

Someone I know only ever posts about illness, either her own or someone in her family, or a friend. Every single comment she makes is how ill someone is/was/might be. Quite depressing. Even comments about someone's pregnancy gets hijacked by morning sickness questions or the possibility of pre-eclampsia. It's like she's obsessed by it.

I stopped reading at "leering into the vast darkness".

I find that people who are as drippingly sentimental as this also tend to be psychopathic nutjobs. When they aren't composing a weird/stalker-esque paean to some poor unfortunate (future victim), they are out battering some bloke who looked at them slightly askew in the pub.

I pity his "angel".

Already happened to someone I know. She's still posting pics of the kids as "now Jayden's famous lol"

Oh good lord. And the kid would be called Jayden.

No offence meant to any Jayden's, I actually happen to like the name, but I have a woman on my FB who has a similarly named son who does similar things.

She's also got a "Conna".

I'm REALLY trying hard not to be snooty but......

It's ok. I'll be snooty with you. Do her statuses go as follows:

"omg, so proud, using potty! xxxxxx"

"awwww, little man fast asleep, bless xxxx love him so much xxxx"

That, and lots of selfies of her getting her tits out, shaking her ass and fantasising about finding a man like Chris Brown. Then a few weeks later wondering why "I alwayzzz get da bad boyz "

Her 4 kids are by different dads too. I hate myself for saying that but thought it was worth pointing out.

Bad boyz, presumably, meaning criminals?

Car crash Facebook then!

I take it you don't have kids then? One of the hardest, if not the hardest, things I've ever done in my life but have to add the most enjoyable.

Crims, junkies, the lot.

It's quite sad actually, she does look like Kate Middleton. Alas she's Kate having flunked her GCSEs, become disinherited and got knocked up at 16 to that div from N-Dubz (or someone similar). She's also apparently been involved in a video with various bouncers (this "lady", not K-Midz obviously) which she keeps putting up angry defensive posts about on FB. Despite the fact that she's friends with her 2 oldest kids on FB. Oops.

I have some ace people on my FB!

Sounds a right ray of sunshine

I don't deny it's the hardest thing you've ever done in your life, but it can't be the hardest job in the world. And at least it's more rewarding than several jobs.

Never heard of N-Dubz before. Just Googled them and they are like a poor man's East 17.

Imagine for one moment being a poor man's East 17.

Perhaps when you have kids of your own you'll change your opinion but for now we'll just have to agree to disagree.

"Leering" into the vast darkness??

You shower me with tenderness and "uncontested" love??

Sounds like someone has been at the Thesaurus

Uncontested love. I.e. nobody else would go near him in a fit