Oh noooooooooo!

This just appeared on my newsfeed

"is fkin fumin how a certain fkin rat can tell my YES MY FKIN DAUGHTER ON HER FKIN FB ITS MY FAULT HER DADS A WASTE MAN WHO BLOCKS HER ON FB,MY FAULT HE KEEPS TRYING TO KILL HIMSELF THE FKIN WOMEN MAKES ME FKIN SICK LOOK IN THE MIRROR THATS WHOS FAULT IT IS URS AN HIS SO ABWT TYM U AN HE STOPED FKIN BLAMEING EVERY OTHER **** 4 HIS LIFE FKIN UP NO1 ELSES FKIN JOKER SWEAR TO GOD THE PAIR OV UM NEED GROW THE FK UP TELLING HER SHE NEEDS TO GROW UP HOW SHE GOT TOOK AS A BABY,ASK UR MOM Y UR DAD TRYED KILLING HIMSELF?HELLLLLLOOOOOOO REALITY CHECK BITCH SHES TEN AND THIS BITCH ANIT GNA TAKE UR SHIT NO MORE THE GIRLS 10 WAT THE FK U SENDING HER SHIT LIKE THAT FOR......I DONT GIVE A FK WHO SEES THIS U HURT MY DAUGHTER LIKE THAT AGEN HAHAHA WELLL ENUF SAID BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


say what?

Advice - stop having sex with chavs. And calling your daughter "bitch".

I should point out this person is the epitome of "chav"

From another "friend"

"Wow wow wow it's finally come to this a Facebook battle lol after over 20 urz freindship it all boils dwn this it makes me laught how people have a nerve to run me telling me I'm theif how they think I see them as a bnk I think u have got me twisted for ur baby father u think u no me but quite clearly u DNT!all u can do is run me dwn on fb an gt ur skanky m8s to like it but all now I still DNT see u comin to my door to sort shit out in my eyes that's a coward I thought u was better than that.they say moneys the root ov all evil an I've found out ur 1 evil bitch!i totally agree with the states u put up abwt karma is a bitch wat goes around comes around I'm ready for myn r u!"

That from a 30+ year old

She should work for the Samaritans. NOT!

I keep all the attention seekers, gullible sharers and general t**ts in a list so i can skip past.

I can't defriend either because they would notice and I can't be bothered with the grief AND of course they save me having to watch Jeremy Kyle for my mocking needs

Keep your friends close - and your enemies closer

From a someone in their late 40s

"Feels so relieved I really do "

Cue comments:

" y wots up hun"

" not for facebook so i'll inbox u hun xx


Attention seeking at it's finest.

From Miss Boredom within the last hour...

"not long til i can go home"

"on the bus going home"

"bus takes the piss keeping stopping at stops"

" at home with pot noodle"

"watching tv dunno whats on"

:yawn:

I've just had, this very minute, a very similar one.

"Not happy right now, grrrr......."
"Y hun, wotz up?"
"Ill inbox u, not want to talk abowt it on er".

Miss Chav's friend Miss even Chavvier delighted her friends with this earlier...

"NE1 GOT nE WEED MA FKN KIDZ R BEIN LIL SHTZ N MA HEDZ CHANGGIN MAN FOR fKKs sk TEECHA AT MA PRZNESS s SKOOL duN ma HED IN TRYNA SAY HER INGLISH IZ BELOW A LEVAL FK THAT FKKN SKOOL IZ SHT DOW WIV AL DEM FKKN POALS DER AN DAT"


It will take too long to list all the things wrong with it

I really hope the teacher hasn't asked her to help princess with her "inglish"

I feel terrible that I can actually read that garbage

After a while on Facebook that kind of gibberish gets easier to read

I have 9 people on my special list across the spectrum of facebook idiocy and I will be posting the "best" of their ramblings here in due course for our entertainment

Reading this makes me feel awful, I am a horrendous baby bore I don't however call my son any sickening names at all or discuss any kind of toilet habits or illnesses.

The occasional baby post is OK but some people go over the top and lose their own personality upon becoming a parent.

I have some parents on my facebook who post the odd update about their child but I also have 2 or 3 relentlessly smug parents who seem to think they are the first humans to produce offspring and feel the need to bang on and on about their perfect children perfect family and perfect lives

It's like a competition of who can post the most inane drivel about "sxc man and "lil angle

(yes i deliberately put ANGLE)


I also have a wedding bore on there who went on and on about her wedding before during and for the last several months since.

She is also a little cow and a Facebook bully but doesn't like it when anyone says anything to her.

I think she's calling the new gf of her daughter's dad a bitch over something she's posted on her daughter's fb blaming her mum (person who made the status) for all that's going on with her father.

She called herself a bitch too but never her daughter.

Miss Boredom just posted..

"In bed watching a film with some munch"

I wonder why she thinks anyone gives a shit?

Yes, that's what i've decoded from it.

I hate to judge but it's a case of 3 kids by 3 dads and seemingly going for the full 4x4 status

Being an old scrote I haven't got a clue, can you translate please?

Nor that one either

This one from someone I'll call Miss Gloomy (aged around 30)

"Can't take no more I feel like I'm lost without you"

This is about someone who was little more than a 1 night stand who she is now madly in love with.

Could anyone tell me if they have any cannabis I could purchase as my children are being naughty and my head aches.
My child's teacher has vexed me due to saying she is no good at English which I blame on the influx of Polish children to her school

I can barely understand half the things I see on Facebook because of the txt speak.

'Thx 2 my mts 4 a gud nyt. Luved it loadz. Wud do it agn 2mrrow.'

Also why is everyone in 'their big comfy' bed? Like nobody has a dodgy mattress.

There's an old school friend on my list who obsessively post blurry pictures of what I think is a cat with the comment PMSL!!

She also MASSIVELY over shares like info about her sex life and such. It's cringeworthy.

Also the posters who are OBSESSED with posting pictures of their kids. 'Oh look, Benneton Fila Jr is eating an apple, how cute!!!' They literally think we need to see every second of their child's life.