Even worse are the ones on my feed which are all "hilariously" mixing up Mandela and Morgan Freeman. If I see another status about how Red fro Shawshank Redemption has died I'm going to scream. It's just not funny and completely unnecessary.

I'm sure once your FB buddies have been sad at Mandela, no doubt complete with terrible mis-spelling, they'll be back to bashing Muslims and paedophiles.

Anyone had an update like "why did Mandela have to die when we have paedophiles still alive?"

Y DID MNDLU HV 2 DIE WHN WE STLL HV PEADOS.

Are you sure you're not on Facebook, you do it so well!

Not on Facebook, never will be, just been hanging around this thread far too often!!!

I posted on here saying pretty much the same thing after reading a "thoughts are with the family" update about Paul Walker. The perpetrator of that one has inevitably gone overboard with the RIP Nelson Mandela hand wringing plus a few quotes posted up for good measure. It was inevitable really. Having said that- you should see the weeping, wailing and truly excruciating poems she writes when someone she actually knows dies! <wants to insert EEK smiley but can't>

A grown woman posted this. I can only assume this is supposed to be her cat talking.

I agwee auntie Mystique. but a name wike that would be a sore point for Mr Wowand. They say the twuth hurts.

Status' like that make my eyes bleed a little.

No but I had one suggesting with no irony that all peados should be moved to the east coast so they will drown when sea levels rise (seriously)

The Paul Walker one caused a massive shit storm with one of the like whores on mine when a smart arse commented "Not so fast and furoius now"

How do they manage to post whilst wearing that straight jacket?

7 years ago today my baby cousin was taken away from us. Rest in piece angel. Love you lots x x

I know it's sad, but was the kid decapitated?

A girl on my FB wrote today "in a fowl mood", made me chuckle to myself!

You should correct her, or are you too much of a chicken??

People who post mawkish stuff such as "I love my kids, they are my world, my life, if you love your kids re-post this and share", there's always a crappy photo of clouds or a sunset or something, I'm always tempted to write "my kids are a pain in the backside", or "well get off FB and spend some time with them then!".

Miss Chav the "Full time mummy" who has now changed her facebook name to
****** mummytothreeprincessesandaprince *****

TYM 4 THA MASH UP 2 BEGIN WKD WKND EYA I CUM!!!

I had one recently from an 18 year old lad saying '17 years today nan died... Rip' etc etc... I mean come on! What's the point in that?

My friends son is always sick and I mean like ever single day! Hundreds of my poorly iccle monkey and my brave ikkle man status updates. The child is always at the doctors having tests done all of which are posted about. Now this weekend she has taken him to the hospital. This is after a week of posts such as 'wot a waste of fkin space dis doctorz I know mre about mi child than u' and 'dis NHS no nufin 3 diff docz n non of em can tel me wot wrong wiv my poorly ikkle man' Now the child is in hospital, I know this because she has tagged herself and him there and on the ward every day as well as many pictures of him in his hospital bed. Cue hundreds of 'oh no hope u OK chic xx' type responses.
The child is probably genuinely not well at the moment but it just seems like shameless attention seeking with all the Facebook updates. If your child is unwell be with him, not the world and Facebook.
I really only keep her for the entertainment value.

Does she say 'Ma lil man got rivas ov snot runin dwn iz fac but ez still ma sxc lil man!'?

No, no, no, the correct response is as follows:

A girl who is always ill or dying posted yet another status of how ill she is . This girl has had every media concerned illness from bird flu to a pic being posted of a "false widow " bite however after a number of comments stating they couldn't see bite the pic was removed .
Tonight status of illness :
Her: Omg so ill not been this bad in a while
I responded saying it sounds like you are suffering from Hypochondriasis especially from all the illnesses that you have had in the past !
Her : Omg I fink so 2 hope the doctors can do something

I had a link on my newsfeed this morning of Paul Walker's supposed death shot. I know it wasn't genuine, but I really didn't need to see someones bloody face first thing this morning. She even knew it was fake so no idea why she felt the need to post the picture!. She is now deleted from my friend list.

2nd entry in a week, my facebook friends are getting worse!

second person shared this link, second person deleted from my friend list

AH LOVE MA BOYFRIEND !!!!!!!!!!!


- no one cares.

I go into Facebook to see my friends' updates.
I go into this thread to see SHG, Miss Gloomy and all the other tragic folks' updates

One of my mates put up a post at the start of the year wondering why girls feel the need to post "I LOVE my man!" posts all the time.

She's since found a new chap and guess what? "I LOVE MA BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!!1111onehundredandeleven" day in day out.

I'm delighted she's found a man, but what a hypocrite!

Someone on my Facebook announced they were pregnant using a bitstrips cartoon which is a change from all the boring blob scan pictures however this person didn't tell all of their family and so unsurprisingly they weren't happy about finding out via a cartoon.