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Worst Facebook status updates (Part 2)
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My Sweet Life
07-09-2013
Originally Posted by Daffodil67:
“No, let's get it right, 'sugertits'



Just scrolled down to 2011

WHOEVER CHATING SOME SHIT ABOUT ME N SOME PERSON.WHY CANT U JUST SAY IT 2 MY FACE ********S

WHO SAYING WHATHUN

People saying ive been haveing it off with some girl.n u no me I lov cock x

LMFAO!!!!!”

I was about to say that!!! Oh dear.
Sexbomb
07-09-2013
Omg I keep needing to pee. Just been and i'm bursting again wtf

Followed by this one 5mins later from the same person

Yay 37 sleeps to my birthday
I be 26. Omg i'm getting Old
hehe

She needs to get out more :yawn:
SuperAPJ
08-09-2013
^ Most Facebook users need to get out more...although that'd just be another opportunity to take and share 'selfies' of themselves and their friends!
Supercell
08-09-2013
Originally Posted by Libitina:
“Is it this?

http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wa...a-what-4304745

eta: Yes, this is why he's in prison.”

I just found a similar story http://www.southwalesargus.co.uk/new..._admits_arson/

rather sad...
ylomyloh
08-09-2013
Originally Posted by MissPinotGrigio:
“Betcha any money you like she's 34 ”

I know this woman. She is absolutely vile.
ylomyloh
08-09-2013
Originally Posted by Daffodil67:
“Loved this thread for ages

Anyway, saw a friend joined this group - It's full of 'Love and Miss yous' , for the first few posts I thought the guy died, but no ... he's in prison!

http://www.facebook.com/groups/496273873729626/”

We must live in the same area. That person was a couple of years below me in school. He has alwas been a bit tapped in the head.
Freeview_Viewer
08-09-2013
Ok so my first post in this thread

"wishing i had someone to cuddle up to and watch movies with in this cold weather..my schoolbooks just arent doin' it for me..."

I talk to her regularly
Alan1981
08-09-2013
"Due to da council not re homing me I have to find my staffie a new home"."£50 to secure a good home 4 her."

What they forget to mention is that the council gave her a home but she got kicked out for making her neighbour's lives a misery.
Daffodil67
08-09-2013
Originally Posted by Supercell:
“I just found a similar story http://www.southwalesargus.co.uk/new..._admits_arson/

rather sad...”

Nikitta's murder was desperately sad but what this lad did was the ultimate grief porn that happened all over local facebooks after her brutal murder. Nice touch that he managed to kill a dog in a house fire too. No sympathy.. (Didn't know what his crime was when I posted the link to the FB Group)

Originally Posted by ylomyloh:
“We must live in the same area. That person was a couple of years below me in school. He has alwas been a bit tapped in the head.”

Obviously, by the way how old is his vile mother? Broadmead Park sounds about right,
Shadow2009
08-09-2013
One of my friends just put up a lengthly status saying how she dreamt that her auntie had died and now she's going to cherish every moment with said auntie because she doesn't want to lose her. What the ****? Her auntie is perfectly fit and capable, why the need to say something like that for everyone to see?

And one of my friends met a girl at college last year. They were quite friendly and were in a few of eachothers classes and have hung out from time to time. However my friend seems to think that they're best friends and have known eachother for years. She's constantly tagging her friend in posts and pictures (she never does this with anyone else) and her friend is moving to university so my friend went out and bought her a pair of trainers. My friend also apparently couldn't come out to a party with us because she was attending the leaving do of her college friend. I just checked Facebook and my friend didn't even attend the leaving party after all. I really think she's trying to make a statement to us that she has friends outside of "us" or something because there's no other way to describe how obsessed and clingy she is with this girl. She's literally put up a status ten minutes ago tagging the girl and saying she'll miss her so much and that "we'll see eachother soon <3. The girl hasn't even "liked" or commented on it and neither has anyone else.
chandlerp
08-09-2013
Originally Posted by KatieLuLu2:
“That is a funny post. I've never encountered a pregnancy update like that..hahahah”

Tell the you hope it isn't a vegetable
ylomyloh
08-09-2013
Originally Posted by Daffodil67:
“Nikitta's murder was desperately sad but what this lad did was the ultimate grief porn that happened all over local facebooks after her brutal murder. Nice touch that he managed to kill a dog in a house fire too. No sympathy.. (Didn't know what his crime was when I posted the link to the FB Group)



Obviously, by the way how old is his vile mother? Broadmead Park sounds about right,”

She is mid-40's. When she was blonde she bore a striking resemblance to Aileen Wournos. About as pleasant as her...

And I agree with you, about the grief porn comment. The whole thing became a show.
Tt88
10-09-2013
One of my friends whos a larger lady (currently updating us on her weightwatchers progression as she is aiming to go from a size 20 to a 12)

She updated her status with one of those pictures with quotes. It was a cartoon picture of a large lady with the caption "my partner doesnt call it fat, he calles it thick. My partner loves my thickness"

So basically her partner calls her thick!
SuperAPJ
11-09-2013
^ That is funny! She should write 'my partner luvs 2 chunky dunk'!
NicolaClare
11-09-2013
I had a girl promoting doing weed on Facebook and then put a picture of her 2 twin boys on..... She's a mess even her job title on there is to do with sex.
Horton
11-09-2013
Someone uploaded a photo of a bloody callus for which they'd had minor surgery to cut off their foot.

It made me feel a bit ill
pearlsandplums
11-09-2013
9/11 wat can I say GOD BE WITH ALL THOSE POOR SOLES AND THERE FAMILY'S ANGLES IN HEAVEN XXXX

(the caps are not my doing)
How many mistakes can you have in one sentence?
chandlerp
11-09-2013
ha, that is ace that is.
Horton
11-09-2013
Soles and angles, awesome.
klendathu
11-09-2013
The local attention seeker checked in at A&E . Again .


Cue the usual 'OMG whats happened' etc etc .

Turns out to be nothing . For the 10th time this year
BadKid95
11-09-2013
Someone I know attends Zumba on a regular basis and although I really like her, she feels the need to always write on facebook how tired, sweating and great she feels...literally every night and even tags the Zumba instructor in each status
MissPinotGrigio
11-09-2013
Oh God, another one bites the dust.

Have already removed about 5 friends for posting multiple daily pics of their kids, sorry - I TOTALLY understand they're your pride & joy & I'd probably (well, not sure, but anyway) post the occasional pic of my chisslers if I had any, especially with having family abroad.

But how depressing is it when it slowly moves to every single post being about your one & only little prince/princess, and then when these posts become multiple, every single day, 5-10 times a day? Videos? Facetime stills? Snapchat stills of your child? By a friend who I up until now had quite a lot of time for? And who's had a child for over 2 years now?

Jesus, what's wrong with these women? Funny, none of my male friends ever bother (or they at least post pics of their kids in a healthy, regularly-interval'd manner and post about other things too).

I actually find this very disturbing, I really do.
SecretLifeoBees
11-09-2013
"De-friending time"
"Gonna clean up my friends list"
"Time to delete people from here"

Or any other similar phrase. Cue comments of "I hope it won't be me/I hope I survive the cull." If you are going to delete people just get on with it. The way I see it is that it seems people only announce it so they get all the "I hope it won't be me" type comments.
SecretLifeoBees
11-09-2013
Originally Posted by klendathu:
“The local attention seeker checked in at A&E . Again .


Cue the usual 'OMG whats happened' etc etc .

Turns out to be nothing . For the 10th time this year ”

That's not someone from the Scunthorpe area is it? Sounds very much like a relative of mine. She checks in then gets the scores of "OMG Hun R U ok" comments. Of course she makes sure she's hours before she answers to create more suspense. Then you usually get some story about her or one of the kids. Of course people are wising up to it and the last couple of times she barely had a response from people.
MissPinotGrigio
11-09-2013
Oh lord, I was hoping this would happen.

Selfie hotpants girl has responded to a friend's 9/11 tribute with: "Online shopping keeps me alive for another 3-5 days"

When challenged with "don't you know what she's posting about?" she responds with "what's 9/11? A TV series"?

*facepalm/headbutt*
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