I do wish they would learn how to spell or at least make the status look coherent!
(I've done this on my phone & it's spell checked as it's gone along!)
(I've done this on my phone & it's spell checked as it's gone along!)
Worst Facebook status updates (Part 2)
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Originally Posted by trumpet101:
“he always puts two kisses like this "Xx" after every status, even ones that don't mention his girlfriend. Why? Who are those kisses for?!”
“he always puts two kisses like this "Xx" after every status, even ones that don't mention his girlfriend. Why? Who are those kisses for?!”
He's sending out the loooove to any of his Facebook fans reading that!
Quote:
“I iz 1 prood mummy the day, my Masie as dun a big wee in big gurl tolet. She grown up so fast”
“I iz 1 prood mummy the day, my Masie as dun a big wee in big gurl tolet. She grown up so fast”
Oh dear.
I look forward to the boasts and myriad of photos of Masie's first turd in the "tolet"
Oh god, now my FB dumbos are posting some stupid link to a picture of a plane floating on water with the headline "Malaysian AIrlines Plane Found! Miracle!".
What hurtful, stupid, pointless shite.
What hurtful, stupid, pointless shite.
Originally Posted by MissPinotGrigio:
“Oh god, now my FB dumbos are posting some stupid link to a picture of a plane floating on water with the headline "Malaysian AIrlines Plane Found! Miracle!".
What hurtful, stupid, pointless shite.”
“Oh god, now my FB dumbos are posting some stupid link to a picture of a plane floating on water with the headline "Malaysian AIrlines Plane Found! Miracle!".
What hurtful, stupid, pointless shite.”
Someone posted something similar on mine the other day. I wonder if there are people out there who will read it on Facebook and accept it as truth before consulting the BBC's website or elsewhere.
For status wise. I have three different stories of new born babies. So, my feed is full of ugly baby pictures (I think all babies are ugly until 18 months or so) in the same pose as the last one.
I am planning a friends cull soon so I think most of them will go.
Originally Posted by ste likes boobs:
“I wonder if there are people out there who will read it on Facebook and accept it as truth before consulting the BBC's website or elsewhere.”
“I wonder if there are people out there who will read it on Facebook and accept it as truth before consulting the BBC's website or elsewhere.”
*nods head in affirmative*
Oh, there are numerous thickos that use Fb as a rolling news channel.
That stupid "missing Amy" the child in a shite blonde wig who was "kidnapped by Asian grooming gangs" was a perfect example. One of my friends got chided for it and when presented with the possibility that it wasn't real said "how du u kno? It duzent hurt 2 let ppl kno & mek em awar of skum".
Not for the first or last time on this thread, I despair.
Quote:
“I iz 1 prood mummy the day, my Masie as dun a big wee in big gurl tolet. She grown up so fast”
“I iz 1 prood mummy the day, my Masie as dun a big wee in big gurl tolet. She grown up so fast”
I bet Maisie's spelling is better than her mothers, even at such a young age.
Originally Posted by MissPinotGrigio:
“That stupid "missing Amy" the child in a shite blonde wig who was "kidnapped by Asian grooming gangs" was a perfect example. One of my friends got chided for it and when presented with the possibility that it wasn't real said "how du u kno? It duzent hurt 2 let ppl kno & mek em awar of skum".”
“That stupid "missing Amy" the child in a shite blonde wig who was "kidnapped by Asian grooming gangs" was a perfect example. One of my friends got chided for it and when presented with the possibility that it wasn't real said "how du u kno? It duzent hurt 2 let ppl kno & mek em awar of skum".”
^^^ That.
My kids were convinced an app called 'Talking Angela' was in fact a front for paedophiles who activate your phone camera remotely to take photos of you and use the app to groom kids. They thought this because they'd read on Facebook that that was happening.
Several adults who really should know better corroborated the story but when I provided a bunch of links to articles completely refuting the claims, their response was, "well, you can't be too careful when kids are involved", or "there's no harm in being careful over these things," completely missing the point that the whole thing was utter bollocks in the first place and wasn;t based on the slightest bit of reality.
Gaaaghhhh!!!!
Originally Posted by TrollHunter:
“^^^ That.
My kids were convinced an app called 'Talking Angela' was in fact a front for paedophiles who activate your phone camera remotely to take photos of you and use the app to groom kids. They thought this because they'd read on Facebook that that was happening.
Several adults who really should know better corroborated the story but when I provided a bunch of links to articles completely refuting the claims, their response was, "well, you can't be too careful when kids are involved", or "there's no harm in being careful over these things," completely missing the point that the whole thing was utter bollocks in the first place and wasn;t based on the slightest bit of reality.
Gaaaghhhh!!!!”
“^^^ That.
My kids were convinced an app called 'Talking Angela' was in fact a front for paedophiles who activate your phone camera remotely to take photos of you and use the app to groom kids. They thought this because they'd read on Facebook that that was happening.
Several adults who really should know better corroborated the story but when I provided a bunch of links to articles completely refuting the claims, their response was, "well, you can't be too careful when kids are involved", or "there's no harm in being careful over these things," completely missing the point that the whole thing was utter bollocks in the first place and wasn;t based on the slightest bit of reality.
Gaaaghhhh!!!!”
If someone innocent gets kicked to death by a load of vigilantes, then actually, there is.
Originally Posted by bookaddict:
“I bet Maisie's spelling is better than her mothers, even at such a young age.”
“I bet Maisie's spelling is better than her mothers, even at such a young age.”
I doubt it. Thickos tend to produce thickos.
Originally Posted by MissPinotGrigio:
“oh lordy no help me, DS folk, I need a Braille keyboard as I've gone blind
feet up. jono makin de tay. angles in whittoz. fukin luvly. hav 2 go bak down de sowshul in de mornin tho. u hav 2 make an appoyntmint dey seyd. im heyour now i seyd how abowt dat. no verdy sordy u hav 2 mayke n appoyntmint. de fukurs r goin 2 giv me de turd agree xxx
AAAAAARGH my eyeballs are bleeding!”
“oh lordy no help me, DS folk, I need a Braille keyboard as I've gone blind
feet up. jono makin de tay. angles in whittoz. fukin luvly. hav 2 go bak down de sowshul in de mornin tho. u hav 2 make an appoyntmint dey seyd. im heyour now i seyd how abowt dat. no verdy sordy u hav 2 mayke n appoyntmint. de fukurs r goin 2 giv me de turd agree xxx
AAAAAARGH my eyeballs are bleeding!”
Is there some sort of keyboard add-on or app that turns people's posts into this hideous non-sensical rubbish? I honestly don't know how people can type that easier than typing proper words!
I might start doing all my posts in Wingdings, makes about as much sense.
The ones that get on my nerves at the moment are the inspirational quote types which are aimed at telling us all just how much this person has overcome.
Originally Posted by Slarti Bartfast:
“The ones that get on my nerves at the moment are the inspirational quote types which are aimed at telling us all just how much this person has overcome.”
“The ones that get on my nerves at the moment are the inspirational quote types which are aimed at telling us all just how much this person has overcome.”
You mean stuff like "When you're going through hell...keep going" and "If you fall down 10 times, get up 11"?
They're usually posted by people who've never had a day's hardship in their lives, or equate overcoming insurmountable odds with getting turned down for X Factor.
Originally Posted by MissPinotGrigio:
“oh lordy no help me, DS folk, I need a Braille keyboard as I've gone blind
feet up. jono makin de tay. angles in whittoz. fukin luvly. hav 2 go bak down de sowshul in de mornin tho. u hav 2 make an appoyntmint dey seyd. im heyour now i seyd how abowt dat. no verdy sordy u hav 2 mayke n appoyntmint. de fukurs r goin 2 giv me de turd agree xxx
AAAAAARGH my eyeballs are bleeding!”
“oh lordy no help me, DS folk, I need a Braille keyboard as I've gone blind
feet up. jono makin de tay. angles in whittoz. fukin luvly. hav 2 go bak down de sowshul in de mornin tho. u hav 2 make an appoyntmint dey seyd. im heyour now i seyd how abowt dat. no verdy sordy u hav 2 mayke n appoyntmint. de fukurs r goin 2 giv me de turd agree xxx
AAAAAARGH my eyeballs are bleeding!”
So, MissPG, has she had "de turd agree" from "de sowshul" yet?
Originally Posted by TrollHunter:
“^^^ That.
My kids were convinced an app called 'Talking Angela' was in fact a front for paedophiles who activate your phone camera remotely to take photos of you and use the app to groom kids. They thought this because they'd read on Facebook that that was happening.
Several adults who really should know better corroborated the story but when I provided a bunch of links to articles completely refuting the claims, their response was, "well, you can't be too careful when kids are involved", or "there's no harm in being careful over these things," completely missing the point that the whole thing was utter bollocks in the first place and wasn;t based on the slightest bit of reality.
Gaaaghhhh!!!!”
“^^^ That.
My kids were convinced an app called 'Talking Angela' was in fact a front for paedophiles who activate your phone camera remotely to take photos of you and use the app to groom kids. They thought this because they'd read on Facebook that that was happening.
Several adults who really should know better corroborated the story but when I provided a bunch of links to articles completely refuting the claims, their response was, "well, you can't be too careful when kids are involved", or "there's no harm in being careful over these things," completely missing the point that the whole thing was utter bollocks in the first place and wasn;t based on the slightest bit of reality.
Gaaaghhhh!!!!”
I just simply link from Snopes or Hoax-Slayer every time anyone posts some of this rubbish.. Problem is I've had stories like this from ex-IT Support colleagues who should know better and know to check Snopes before they post!!!
Originally Posted by Shady_Pines1:
“You mean stuff like "When you're going through hell...keep going" and "If you fall down 10 times, get up 11"?
They're usually posted by people who've never had a day's hardship in their lives, or equate overcoming insurmountable odds with getting turned down for X Factor.”
“You mean stuff like "When you're going through hell...keep going" and "If you fall down 10 times, get up 11"?
They're usually posted by people who've never had a day's hardship in their lives, or equate overcoming insurmountable odds with getting turned down for X Factor.”
I know a few years ago there was some sort of plugin you could add to your Facebook feed that would covert any baby pictures to something else, like a cute fluffy animal or something like that.
I need something similar for these "inspirational" quotes. I can tell when one of the girls on my FB feed is having a shitty day because they get pebble-dashed all over my bloody timeline.
I wouldn't mind so much if they were half-meaningful but so much of the time they completely conflict each other making her sound like a complete hypocrite E.g. -
"Be considerate, don't be selfish, help others when you can"
followed a few hours later by
"YOLO - Ignore the haters! Do what you want, when you want to do it"
Originally Posted by Shady_Pines1:
“You mean stuff like "When you're going through hell...keep going" and "If you fall down 10 times, get up 11"?
They're usually posted by people who've never had a day's hardship in their lives, or equate overcoming insurmountable odds with getting turned down for X Factor.”
“You mean stuff like "When you're going through hell...keep going" and "If you fall down 10 times, get up 11"?
They're usually posted by people who've never had a day's hardship in their lives, or equate overcoming insurmountable odds with getting turned down for X Factor.”
Yep, there's a "Homeless To Harvard" one going around at the moment, a woman who was kipping on the sofas of her rich friends - that's not homeless!
Originally Posted by Pucky:
“So, MissPG, has she had "de turd agree" from "de sowshul" yet?
”
“So, MissPG, has she had "de turd agree" from "de sowshul" yet?
”
I await with bated breath! Or rather "eye aw8 wi b8ed bret"
Originally Posted by MissPinotGrigio:
“Yep, there's a "Homeless To Harvard" one going around at the moment, a woman who was kipping on the sofas of her rich friends - that's not homeless!
I await with bated breath! Or rather "eye aw8 wi b8ed bret"”
“Yep, there's a "Homeless To Harvard" one going around at the moment, a woman who was kipping on the sofas of her rich friends - that's not homeless!
I await with bated breath! Or rather "eye aw8 wi b8ed bret"
”
Far too coherent. Should be something like "aweight wi betty bread".
Originally Posted by Slarti Bartfast:
“The ones that get on my nerves at the moment are the inspirational quote types which are aimed at telling us all just how much this person has overcome.”
“The ones that get on my nerves at the moment are the inspirational quote types which are aimed at telling us all just how much this person has overcome.”
Google images "demotivational posters" and reply to their quotes with one of these.
Not quite a status message but a while ago when everyone was setting pictures of cartoon characters as their display pic (useless anti-child abuse campaign), I set mine as the old man from Family Guy. It really kicked off. Within minutes I was getting "Hw cd u pst ths? Ur nt a parnt u wdnt undrstnd".
I've quite recently become a dad for the first time and I haven't posted a single baby picture on Facebook and have only mentioned the baby once in a status (which was just to say he'd arrived and everyone was well). I've actually had people asking me why I haven't posted any pictures and some have actually said that I don't seem very happy because I've not posted about him! I replied that I hate baby pictures on Facebook as they all look the same and that I don't feel the need to constantly bore the world with baby updates because I still actually have a life, a baby isn't defining me, I'm still the same person, have the same interests, go out and do the same things etc etc. Quite a few people seemed quite confused about this!
It appears that I'm a bad father and don't love my child because I don't constantly bang on about him and post boring updates all the time!
It appears that I'm a bad father and don't love my child because I don't constantly bang on about him and post boring updates all the time!
Originally Posted by Ella Nut:
“Far too coherent. Should be something like "aweight wi betty bread".”
“Far too coherent. Should be something like "aweight wi betty bread".”
Or
"aw8 wit b8td bth"
Originally Posted by Jambo_c:
“I've quite recently become a dad for the first time and I haven't posted a single baby picture on Facebook and have only mentioned the baby once in a status (which was just to say he'd arrived and everyone was well). I've actually had people asking me why I haven't posted any pictures and some have actually said that I don't seem very happy because I've not posted about him! I replied that I hate baby pictures on Facebook as they all look the same and that I don't feel the need to constantly bore the world with baby updates because I still actually have a life, a baby isn't defining me, I'm still the same person, have the same interests, go out and do the same things etc etc. Quite a few people seemed quite confused about this!
It appears that I'm a bad father and don't love my child because I don't constantly bang on about him and post boring updates all the time!”
“I've quite recently become a dad for the first time and I haven't posted a single baby picture on Facebook and have only mentioned the baby once in a status (which was just to say he'd arrived and everyone was well). I've actually had people asking me why I haven't posted any pictures and some have actually said that I don't seem very happy because I've not posted about him! I replied that I hate baby pictures on Facebook as they all look the same and that I don't feel the need to constantly bore the world with baby updates because I still actually have a life, a baby isn't defining me, I'm still the same person, have the same interests, go out and do the same things etc etc. Quite a few people seemed quite confused about this!
It appears that I'm a bad father and don't love my child because I don't constantly bang on about him and post boring updates all the time!”
I have much more respect for fathers like you than those who insist on compromising their child's privacy.
Originally Posted by rufnek2k6:
“Not quite a status message but a while ago when everyone was setting pictures of cartoon characters as their display pic (useless anti-child abuse campaign), I set mine as the old man from Family Guy. It really kicked off. Within minutes I was getting "Hw cd u pst ths? Ur nt a parnt u wdnt undrstnd".”
“Not quite a status message but a while ago when everyone was setting pictures of cartoon characters as their display pic (useless anti-child abuse campaign), I set mine as the old man from Family Guy. It really kicked off. Within minutes I was getting "Hw cd u pst ths? Ur nt a parnt u wdnt undrstnd".”
That stupid campaign annoyed me instensly and I wrote this as my status:
It seems that all problems can be tackled by changing your facebook profile picture...seriously? If so, I suggest that people change their pic to a household applicance to show support for victims of domestic abuse...hmm.
Oh god, this is painful. I think de turd agree is the third degree, but what the F is de tay. angles in whittoz?!? I hazard a guess that the first part is triangles, but WTF is whittoz?!? I
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