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Worst Facebook status updates (Part 2)


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Old 14-09-2013, 08:21
NicolaClare
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People 'liking' fake pages giving away iPhone 5Cs they're not even out yet.
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Old 14-09-2013, 16:19
toastie
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Most exciting one ever this morning.

"just off for a haircut"
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Old 15-09-2013, 21:58
mrsmoose
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"Can't believe Jans still dead" has just updated her status telling everyone she's got the s**ts

"Great! Me and the loo are gunno become good friends tonight dunno if its ibs or a bug "

ooh we've had an update of s**t-gate (FYI No one has replied to either status)

"Could do without this! I wanna go to bed!! Cant risk it yet tho x"

(I like the "kiss" at the end of the status! )
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Old 15-09-2013, 23:26
Westy2
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Most exciting one ever this morning.

"just off for a haircut"
Must admit I've done that one.
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Old 16-09-2013, 10:33
wonkeydonkey
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I don't know whether these have been posted before but I found two Huffington Post articles which amused me.

The Degeneration of Facebook in 10 Statuses - the lowdown on all your favourite types of status updates
How to Be Facebook Famous in 11 Simple Steps - the essential guide to attention-seeking
Lol. "Does anyone know the number for 999?"
Another person posting a pic of there baby scan

:
I don't mind that though. It's a pretty exciting moment for them.
Oh god, that leads me on to another population - the JuicePlus journey crew/Herbal Life sales people/anyone using FB to relentlessly sell their shitty wares or whatever ridiculous pyramid scheme they've been naïve enough to follow.
Yes, I had a daily Herbalife update for about a year. :yawn: Photographs of her meals, updates of her weight, photographs of her standing sideways looking a bit thinner. Six months after she went on the maintenance programme I realize that I haven't heard a peep on the subject for ages. I wonder if she 's put it all back on?
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Old 16-09-2013, 11:03
mrsmoose
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"Can't believe Jans still dead" has just updated her status telling everyone she's got the s**ts

"Great! Me and the loo are gunno become good friends tonight dunno if its ibs or a bug "

ooh we've had an update of s**t-gate (FYI No one has replied to either status)

"Could do without this! I wanna go to bed!! Cant risk it yet tho x"

(I like the "kiss" at the end of the status! )
The Diarrhoea Diaries continued through the night...

Fingers crossed i can go to bed now! X

So i got to bed. Lay down. Turned over. Up again! I hope this calms down soon

2nd time lucky x

(Noone liked or replied!)
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Old 16-09-2013, 13:26
captainkremmen
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Am pure girna blowe man, sum ppls need a gud slap sumtmes. If ye got sumfin to say say it tae ma face an no on here, ya daftie man
Posted to Facebook by one of my younger cousins and not said in person.
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Old 16-09-2013, 22:25
Zocky
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There is a girl on mine who on a semi regular basis posts pictures of the roads she is driving down, captioned with something along the lines of "lolz what a dangerous winding road" and you can see that she is driving but updating her Facebook at the same time :O or at the very least taking a photo while she should be concentrating on the road, and to be blunt, I wouldn't have trusted her driving skills before but definitely not now...I would say these updates are a bit scary...
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Old 16-09-2013, 23:21
Tt88
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"Age i was given..... 20

Where i lived ....... ************* ********** (she gave address but i wont post it here)

What i drove...... Pug 206

Who i loved ........ He who im not allowed to mention.

What i did....... Nuffin

Age i am now ..... 23

Where live........ Sumwhere. Not allowed to say

What i drive....... Cant say

Who i love ......... *name of partner*

What i do....... Full time mum. Cant say my previous job"

What? She did one of those copy and paste quiz things to basically reveal nothing! All day shes been posting about how shes worried shes in danger cos her ex is back on the scene. So shes banned everyone from mentioning anything on her wall that might give away where she lives etc. why not just not go on facebook if its that bad?

Another woman the other day put this which made me laugh:

"Back again! Watch out facebook!"
Comment from friend: didnt even notice you were gone.

Lol! She hadnt posted for a day but obviously she wasnt missed.
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Old 16-09-2013, 23:24
wonkeydonkey
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I can't believe the people who announce that they are going to be deleting a lot of friends from their facebook account. Do they think people will be relieved and grateful to find that they are still there in the morning? I would immediately delete THEM if someone tried that.

I seem to be getting a bazillion lost pets at the moment. "Please check your garages, everyone in the Wolverhampton area". I can understand the impulse, but I seem to be getting about five a day, and I have never once seen one remotely near me.
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Old 17-09-2013, 08:10
ylomyloh
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OK, been reading this thread for a while now, loving it! I've got a few updates to add to the thread; remembering dead relatives, Birthday messages to 1 year old children (who can't read or have a FB account), etc.
But thought this one was a good first one to share:


Today marks 6 months eating only fruit and fruit seeds for me (& a little salt). No nuts, leaves, veges, grains or animal products. I feel simply amazing on this diet and have much gratitude for the sense of freedom, karmic peacefulness & connectedness I feel on organic fruits. I have now transformed my diet to a low fat raw fruitarian one evolving further in health and high vibrations and eliminating salt, cacao & vinegar. To celebrate the end of my transformational week long shamanic retreat and my fruitfulness I began my one month pass at Golden Yoga in Burleigh and had the most beautiful class this morning ran by owner Melanie Commons, expanding & strengthening the body, mind & spirit. Life is great honoring self, the planet & all living beings. Feeling so much love

This 'friend' often puts up photos of the latest concoction, avocado smoothie was a recent one...
So pretentious.
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Old 17-09-2013, 08:48
AnitaS
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"Can't believe Jans still dead" has just updated her status telling everyone she's got the s**ts

"Great! Me and the loo are gunno become good friends tonight dunno if its ibs or a bug "

ooh we've had an update of s**t-gate (FYI No one has replied to either status)

"Could do without this! I wanna go to bed!! Cant risk it yet tho x"

(I like the "kiss" at the end of the status! )


The Diarrhoea Diaries continued through the night...

Fingers crossed i can go to bed now! X

So i got to bed. Lay down. Turned over. Up again! I hope this calms down soon

2nd time lucky x

(Noone liked or replied!)
I feel a bit sorry for her, it's rotten having the shits, and there's no-one around to be sympathetic. Posting about on Facebook is wrong though - but it could have been worse, there could have been photos!
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Old 17-09-2013, 09:06
Scarlett Fever
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Was going madam two swords for my bday tomorow but now i'm not as i been let down again heres too another rubbish bday

They've been going on about "madam two swords" for weeks
Hahaha took me a while to get that. ..
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Old 17-09-2013, 09:31
saladcream
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saw this and had to find this thread!!


"No more sleeps!! It's sofa delivery day "
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Old 17-09-2013, 10:03
wonkeydonkey
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I can't quite put my finger on what I find so annoying about this kind of post. After all, why shouldn't she eat what she likes and even tell people how well she feels? But it still makes me want to catch her out in eating a giant pork pie and put the picture online.
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Old 17-09-2013, 10:40
bookaddict
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I joined DS just so I could post in this topic. Anyway, there's one woman on my FB I've just had to delete because she's always coming out with statuses like this:



And this:



Then there's this:



Can you believe she's twenty-six?! And who on earth calls a two-year-old "sexy"? I also can't stand the way she abuses anybody foreign! Christ, I can't believe I went to school with her.
Isn't it funny how so many of these people who hate foreigners have such a terrible command of the English language?!
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Old 17-09-2013, 11:57
mrsmoose
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I feel a bit sorry for her, it's rotten having the shits, and there's no-one around to be sympathetic. Posting about on Facebook is wrong though - but it could have been worse, there could have been photos!
Me too, it's horrid to be poorly, but posting it on fb is weird, especially with all the updates after too
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Old 18-09-2013, 17:06
BellaRosa
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This on a friends wall...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FFS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Someone asked what was wrong?


Their reply. I'll tell you another time.


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Old 18-09-2013, 17:06
BellaRosa
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saw this and had to find this thread!!


"No more sleeps!! It's sofa delivery day "


The fun never stops in that house
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Old 18-09-2013, 17:14
lem ramsay
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Haha I don't know why some people wanna let everyone know about their diarrhea problems...
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Old 18-09-2013, 17:17
Jason100
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Someone has just changed his first display name to his first name, partner's first name and daughter's first name.
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Old 18-09-2013, 17:19
Jason100
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The Diarrhoea Diaries continued through the night...

Fingers crossed i can go to bed now! X

So i got to bed. Lay down. Turned over. Up again! I hope this calms down soon

2nd time lucky x

(Noone liked or replied!)
Just be grateful that she didn't upload a picture of the evidence for extra sympathy votes!
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Old 18-09-2013, 17:40
Westy2
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I can't believe the people who announce that they are going to be deleting a lot of friends from their facebook account. Do they think people will be relieved and grateful to find that they are still there in the morning? I would immediately delete THEM if someone tried that.

I seem to be getting a bazillion lost pets at the moment. "Please check your garages, everyone in the Wolverhampton area". I can understand the impulse, but I seem to be getting about five a day, and I have never once seen one remotely near me.
Ain't you getting the missing person's statuses then?
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Old 18-09-2013, 20:14
lem ramsay
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Somebody on my sister's FB wrote that he's gonna post his dreams, but he's only letting a few selected people read them.
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Old 18-09-2013, 20:31
littlemadangel
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Wonders why I ever decided to be in a relationship?

Comments:
Aww you ok? x
They are idiots
U ok love? x
u alright? xx
aww hope you are ok
pm me

Her reply to all this: I don't have pm but thanks...
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