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Worst Facebook status updates (Part 2)


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Old 18-09-2013, 21:48
garyessex
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Uh oh this status is causing a bit of a stir on my timeline

People who are "Full time mummys" seem to spend an awful lot of time on Facebook.
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Old 19-09-2013, 13:25
cas116
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Timeline last night and this morning was full of people keeping everyone informed of their progress with their iphone software updates, and screen shots of the new icons. Whoop-de-flipping do, how exciting! Even if I had an iphone I wouldn't be interested in everyone elses, so so dull.

What with that and Grand Theft Auto, this has been a bad week for boring updates!
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Old 19-09-2013, 19:22
HiMyNameIs
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These all come from the same person a few days ago.

16 September - 'wheres cock when you need some, hashtag lizlovescock'

16 September - 'hahah my i broke the condom putting it on my dildo oops..'

16 September - 'gosh ebay dildos are so cheap,'

Really don't know what was going through her mind. (Sex and dildos, presumably!)
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Old 19-09-2013, 20:13
LaceyLouelle3
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Timeline last night and this morning was full of people keeping everyone informed of their progress with their iphone software updates, and screen shots of the new icons. Whoop-de-flipping do, how exciting! Even if I had an iphone I wouldn't be interested in everyone elses, so so dull.

What with that and Grand Theft Auto, this has been a bad week for boring updates!
Its been a complete bore fest!
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Old 19-09-2013, 20:49
Alan1981
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Uh oh this status is causing a bit of a stir on my timeline

People who are "Full time mummys" seem to spend an awful lot of time on Facebook.
If you're feeling brave, post up "full time Mummy is not a job"
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Old 19-09-2013, 21:04
MissPinotGrigio
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iOS7 - kill me now, please.

On a funnier note my friend put up an update fuming at her hated mother-in-law ruining her cleaning routine (albeit OCD-sponsored) by cleaning her kitchen yesterday, and is threatening to get some dildos, smear them in chocolate spread and leave them by the kitchen sink next time she tries to reorganise her kitchen!
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Old 20-09-2013, 15:24
lem ramsay
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"I love **** she really is amazing looking after **** and me all the time and putting up with me being a complete retard I mean seriously I give the mentally unwell a run for there money."
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Old 20-09-2013, 18:12
Jason100
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No, No, No...

Someone on my feed has just posted a 'rap love song' about his 'girls' and it's so cringy that Simon Cowell would probably quit music if he heard it!
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Old 20-09-2013, 20:24
PurpleParachute
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Jesus, she's scary, why does she hate foreigners so much?

There have been a few reports of people calling small children sexy on Facebook...it is quite creepy and weird!
I couldn't tell you what her problem is, well, apart from stupidity. In fact, I actually slept around her house once when I was thirteen, we were friends, but I never knew she was like that.

It's strange how facebook gives me an insight into these people I spent time with when I was younger. Even when it's a bad insight, all I have to do is press the delete button and they vanish from my newsfeed. I wish real life was that easy!
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Old 20-09-2013, 20:30
PurpleParachute
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Isn't it funny how so many of these people who hate foreigners have such a terrible command of the English language?!
Yes, I've noticed that, too. I'm glad I've deleted her. If she wasn't butchering the English language, she was posing in front of the letters 'EDL'. :yawn:
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Old 20-09-2013, 20:36
CrazyLoop
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"I love **** she really is amazing looking after **** and me all the time and putting up with me being a complete retard I mean seriously I give the mentally unwell a run for there money."
What an idiot
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Old 20-09-2013, 20:50
dslrocks
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wot do da men do really, not a lot just spunk, da women gotta carry 4 9months n go thru all hormones n emotions, men don't, if da man don't step up thruout pregnancy, wot gives em da rite 4 da kid 2 have da surname untill da man steps up!!
I can just imagine it being shouted across the room on JK now...
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Old 21-09-2013, 11:48
Jason100
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Most of my updates since tuesday have been about GTA 5. One person posted a photo of the game which his girlfriend bought for him. The photo is captioned: "I have the most amazing girlfriend ever"
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Old 21-09-2013, 23:31
redstar81
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Many people here dislike the children statuses. My feed is not too bad but this blog is great and very shocking what people will share. http://www.stfuparentsblog.com/
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Old 22-09-2013, 00:29
pugamo
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Many people here dislike the children statuses. My feed is not too bad but this blog is great and very shocking what people will share. http://www.stfuparentsblog.com/
That's great. I shared one of the passages on my page hoping the parents will take notice!
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Old 22-09-2013, 00:30
LaceyLouelle3
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'Can't believe we've been married a month, happy anniversary baby'....since when was being married a month, worthy of an anniversary?
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Old 22-09-2013, 01:30
MissPinotGrigio
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'Can't believe we've been married a month, happy anniversary baby'....since when was being married a month, worthy of an anniversary?
Being single you could accuse me of being bitter, but there are a lot of women OBSESSED with their boyfriends/fiancés/hubbys on FB.

All I can say is, I hope you never, ever split up or I hope he never dies, because judging by your daily "I love my boo boo" posts, you are completely & utterly dependent on them. It's not healthy at all and funny, I never see them returning the favour, ever.
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Old 22-09-2013, 04:29
SuperAPJ
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This has probably been mentioned before but it irks me when someone changes their relationship status to 'in a relationship' and people respond with messages like 'congrats hun' and 'so happy for u xxx'. it's a new relationship, not an engagement!

One of my relatives made such an update a few months back, her friend commented something like 'didn't no hun' and she replied 'thought you would've heard me the other day saying I was gonna change my Facebook status!'. Having a real-life conversation about changing one's Facebook relationship status - sad, sad...
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Old 22-09-2013, 04:38
MissPinotGrigio
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This has probably been mentioned before but it irks me when someone changes their relationship status to 'in a relationship' and people respond with messages like 'congrats hun' and 'so happy for u xxx'. it's a new relationship, not an engagement!

One of my relatives made such an update a few months back, her friend commented something like 'didn't no hun' and she replied 'thought you would've heard me the other day saying I was gonna change my Facebook status!'. Having a real-life conversation about changing one's Facebook relationship status - sad, sad...
In a way, I can understand the congrats, because apart from the chavs who seem to love breeding making a relationship work is the hardest thing in the world, so I don't mind that so much. It's the aftermath "oh thanks hon for making me tea tonight after I've done a 12-hour shift", "oh I love my bbe because, well I have no reason why" day in day out that does my nut in! As I've previously said a/ you have friends b/ you have family (who I'm more than willing to praise on FB because they do amazing things for me) and c/ you are supposed to have a life?
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Old 22-09-2013, 08:22
Tt88
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Timeline last night and this morning was full of people keeping everyone informed of their progress with their iphone software updates, and screen shots of the new icons. Whoop-de-flipping do, how exciting! Even if I had an iphone I wouldn't be interested in everyone elses, so so dull.

What with that and Grand Theft Auto, this has been a bad week for boring updates!
Ive had the opposite! All these from one male contact:

"Fed up of hearing iphone updates. When will people learn they are crap and just cheap fashion accessories!"

"Hahaha all those people with the new update are loooooosers. Waiting 10 hours only for a crap update that makes your phone insecure"

"Do people with iphones realise theres a hack so people can steal your phone and use it even if you have a password on it?"

"Just found this on google. Would someone with an iphone please try it to proove my point? *adds long post giving directions of how to bypass the password screen*"

Ok, ok we get it. You hate iphones. Instead of worrying yourself with how insecure they are, just DONT BUY ONE! Then it doesnt matter how crap they are because you wont be affected!
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Old 22-09-2013, 10:11
Calien01
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I've had three days of angry status updates from one friend because...

"a bich at the job centre has stopped my clam for job seeker
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Old 22-09-2013, 13:03
chandlerp
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Awww, poor clam
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Old 22-09-2013, 13:05
Jason100
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I've had three days of angry status updates from one friend because...

"a bich at the job centre has stopped my clam for job seeker
Did she have a telephone interview?
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Old 22-09-2013, 14:23
paperplanes_
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It’s not abut de kissing, holdin hands, de d8s, de sex, and showin off. It’s abut been with su1 ho makes u happii in a way that no1 else can. It’s abot being with some1 hoo accepts u and ur werdnss. It’s about bein ureslef around dem and dey can be deir self around you. HAPPIII EIGHT MONFF ANNVERSAY BABY...


The definition of anniversary from Wiki: An anniversary is a day that commemorates or celebrates a past event that occurred on the same date of the year as the initial event.(Hence annunally)


For God's sake.
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Old 22-09-2013, 14:50
Shadow2009
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Are you's actually copying statuses from Facebook or are you making them up? Because I can't believe what I'm reading on this thread.

The only annoying things I see are "bored, someone mail me x" and people wanting sympathy for dead relatives.
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