Aye you got that spot on Martin

In your dreams


I hope not, I don't do royalty, they are the most unsexy things on earth


Martin is puny where you'd want muscles and flabby where you should be lean and toned!!

You are all so jealous of me, that you have to alter my posts and make up stories about me

I doubt whether ANYONE ON EARTH is jealous of you, Martin!!

Well said Martin- at least you admit it now.

Martin on holiday

*Poses*

http://previews.123rf.com/images/inv...odel-young.jpg

Much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much less sexy than me.

BTW Is he having trouble with his top button?

Costa del Totteridge

You just tore that out of one of your stash of magazines!!!

I was in the more dodgy resort of High Barnet this morning having paid a visit to my daughter

Did you pay your annual visit to the plastic surgery department of Barnet Hospital at the same time? (Will they ever be able to do anything for your looks?!!)

I've never had any plastic surgery and wouldnt need it, since I am already the most beautiful, sexy and perfect woman in the universe!!

I'm sure you only mention it since you are down there weekly having bits tinkered with in the hope of being just a tiny bit more sexy. Such a shame they never seem to be able to help you

they did help him, they took 10st of him, couldn't you tell by the photo you posted ?

Well,based on the photographic evidence so far I think we can safely say;

1 How Martin has the cheek to call himself sexy is beyond me

2 Chin is relatively sexy and will be a worthy runner-up to moi.

3 No photos of Twass or The Sleeper so far,so I think we can safely assume that they are deluded fantasists.

This concludes the case for the prosecution.

Thank You

http://th09.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/...74-d4s2z5w.jpg

And I've got even sexier since that was taken!!

I'd rather see the photos, of you in the bath in yer denims when you wear a size 18, I was a chubby chaser then, second tae Martin !

I can truthfully say I have never owned a pair of jeans in size 18! Even at my most curvy it only got to 16

A chubby chaser *sniggers*

Are you sure you are not size 20 ?!

Get your unsexy butt round here now and check out the clothes sizes in my wardrobe

Can't get into your wardrobe, there are so many big clothes in the way

Nonsense. There are just lots and lots of sexy, slinky dresses and saucy underwear!

You dithering old bat - you have wandered into the wrong house and looking in the wrong wardrobe - that is Sonia's

I was so sexy on sat night Martin never even asked for a discount

http://i.imgur.com/QoQxQTw.jpg