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The Strictly Come Dancing / Ikea catalogue |
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#1 |
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The Strictly Come Dancing / Ikea catalogue
For those of you of prefer to stay away from the Non-Appreciation thread (and I don't blame you- they're all nutters in there apart from me), I thought you might enjoy this as a new fun SCD thread... Once upon a time, some hapless celeb was likened to a dancing wardobe. Maybe Darren Gough. The nickname was also applied to Joe Calzaghe which led to his inclusion in the SCD/Ikea catalogue... Quote:
KALLSAGGY = a really sturdy wardrobe which will be useful to put all your boxers, sorry, boxes in.
On little wheels, so even the tiniest Siberian can push it round... Is available in both pale Welsh pine, or St Tropez stained dark wood. Can also be waxed for a shiny finish. KALLSAGGY looks very good in a corner, although has a tendency to come out fighting, which is not always what you want a piece of furniture to do. It has 4 wheels, one of which tends to move in the opposite direction to the other 3. It has a pair of legs and 2 left feet. |
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#2 |
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Gavin Henson was another who made the pages of the Ikea catalogue, and this year there are two models based on Ben Choen Quote:
After the rise in popularity of model HENTSUN IKEA has decided to update model KOHUN to a more mahogany look.
A spokesperson confirmed that the demand for a darker finish to the ranges of moveable furniture had seen a spike in the last few years which has led them to use a darker varnish for the new and improved line. "Model KOHUN now proudly sits next to our bestseller HENTSUN who has developed into a solid hit after a slow start after launch". It is thought that the inclusion of a fabulous hat stand in the final product was the finishing touch for HENTSUN. Model KOHUN also has added extras but industry insiders are dubious about it's chances because a hatstand doubling as a stripper pole might be a step too far for the clientele of the retailer. Quote:
The orginal pale BENN in a pale pine finish has been replaced by BENN in mahogany.
Owners will be pleasantly pleased to find that this piece of furniture is easier to move round the room than KALSAGGY. This is due the massive legs on BENN. BENN has an easy care finish- any drooling over BENN can be simply dealt with using a damp cloth. And a slap. |
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#3 |
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Excellent. Keep it up.
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#4 |
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Love this thread.
Will come back later and post. |
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#5 |
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Quote:
Gavin Hastings was another who made the pages of the Ikea catalogue, and this year there are two models based on Ben Choen
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#6 |
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Quote:
*cough*Henson*cough*
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#7 |
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Quote:
oops. One welsh rugby player is much the same as another
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#8 |
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Quote:
oops. One welsh rugby player is much the same as another
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#9 |
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Quote:
*whispers* Except Gavin Hastings is Scottish
![]() And he doesn't have an *ickle face* |
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#10 |
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#11 |
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Quick change of subject: Quote:
KAHNHARDEE
This perennial favourite continues to grace the catalogue of our other store ITT IKEA. Its castors mean that it can be wheeled out easily when a comment about gauchos or ladies of the night is required. The unusual styling is its main feature, being an antique piece with modern upholstery, albeit with a Retro twist. While some might consider that the upholstery is a little short and tight for their taste , others will appreciate that this invites compliments such as look at the legs on that To provide more seating, KAHNHARDEE can be paired with the beautiful RAMPS a wooden piece made from cricket bat willow. Simply loop a length of microphone cable round both pieces of furniture to secure them firmly together. |
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#12 |
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Quote:
Quick change of subject:
You are a total genius. I always find the KAHNHARDEE a bit obvious and a bit garish for my tastes. Luckily it's not on display much. |
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#13 |
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Brilliant! Looking forward to more installments.
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#14 |
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#15 |
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DOTs do the shopping channel. ![]() Quote:
After several testruns with lesser quality models (the now never mentioned PARKUR) Strictly IKEA decided to go for the more sturdy approach in the 2005 autumn catalogue and include the first moveable wardrobe in the GOVH. After a tentative start, popularity of the item started to rise as word got out model GOVH was a definite bloke's essential. It's sturdy exterior combined with a no-nonsense design proved to be a big hit with shoppers. Embracing this new found success, Strictly IKEA started offering various accessories, including darker shades of varnish and several optional sparkly embelishments. Contrary to the advice of industry insiders who thought this to be a wrong move, the added extras made sales soar even more and proved to appeal to a whole new market. GOVH now even found it's way into the family living room: the demographic Strictly IKEA was desperately aiming for. It's success spawned several new products in years to follow, most notably 2009 addition: HOLLINZ.
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#16 |
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T'riffic work. *Applause.* Missed a couple of these, very funny.
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#17 |
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Quote:
DOTs do the shopping channel.
![]() Never liked the GOVH, too loud for me, but definitely appreciated by pensioner judges. The HOLLINZ, from memory, was hidden a little at first, but the pushed itself forward and became the FUN, FUN, FUN item that year. |
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#18 |
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Making a welcome return to the catalogue we also have the DUBEKK, available in two versions - the standard DUBEKK and the DULATT.
The DUBEKK is a sophisticated piece of furniture that combines immaculate presentation with an ease of use suitable for the most inept of owners. Favoured by those who think the world was better when everyone wore a suit and tie, the DUBEKK glides easily on its castors and is best suited to placement in the ballroom. The partner model, the DULATT, is suffering from falling sales. It is likely to be withdrawn from circulation due to its inability to adapt to the more Latin climate and its tendency to split open centrally, exposing a carpet feature which has caused distress to our more vulnerable customers. |
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#19 |
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** Important Product Recall **
IKEA is urgently recalling all JULIENS sold in the past month. It has come to our attention that this bouncy, fun toy has the potential to damage the hearing of anyone within a 50 metre range. There is also the risk of severe trauma to the family dog. Anyone who has purchased this item should return it immediately to the store for a full refund. Your statutory rights are unaffected, but IKEA would like to make it clear that it's not their fault - in any way. |
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#20 |
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Quote:
Making a welcome return to the catalogue we also have the DUBEKK, available in two versions - the standard DUBEKK and the DULATT.
The DUBEKK is a sophisticated piece of furniture that combines immaculate presentation with an ease of use suitable for the most inept of owners. Favoured by those who think the world was better when everyone wore a suit and tie, the DUBEKK glides easily on its castors and is best suited to placement in the ballroom. The partner model, the DULATT, is suffering from falling sales. It is likely to be withdrawn from circulation due to its inability to adapt to the more Latin climate and its tendency to split open centrally, exposing a carpet feature which has caused distress to our more vulnerable customers. |
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#21 |
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Quote:
** Important Product Recall **
IKEA is urgently recalling all JULIENS sold in the past month. It has come to our attention that this bouncy, fun toy has the potential to damage the hearing of anyone within a 50 metre range. There is also the risk of severe trauma to the family dog. Anyone who has purchased this item should return it immediately to the store for a full refund. Your statutory rights are unaffected, but IKEA would like to make it clear that it's not their fault - in any way. However they have recently added an extra attachment for the HENSUN. A mirror that allows a full 360 degree view . |
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#22 |
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Quote:
The night light version of JULIENS s also recalled due to the 1000 watt bulb fitted as not fit for purpose.
However they have recently added an extra attachment for the HENSUN. A mirror that allows a full 360 degree view . Ooh, yes please. |
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#23 |
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JRYHÅL
Ikea have tentatively re-issued the JRYHÅL, a highly decorative piece of furniture which unfortunately turned out to be quite flimsy and limited in its uses. Its tendancy to go horizontal whenever left unattended can however been remedied by propping it against the DUBEKK, and owners, particularly those seeking a rock'n roll lifestyle, will no doubt enjoy looking at it for many years, before replacing it with a newer model. |
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#24 |
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Quote:
JRYHÅL
Ikea have tentatively re-issued the JRYHÅL, a highly decorative piece of furniture which unfortunately turned out to be quite flimsy and limited in its uses. Its tendancy to go horizontal whenever left unattended can however been remedied by propping it against the DUBEKK, and owners, particularly those seeking a rock'n roll lifestyle, will no doubt enjoy looking at it for many years, before replacing it with a newer model. Took me a few seconds to work out who you meant. The last bit is very clever too!
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#25 |
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Ikea would also like to announce its new JORDANWARE range. These are mix and match chairs which will adorn any home.
They come in two variations. The antique stained JORDAN originals have decorative legs and easy movement. Put two of these together and they look particularly nice. The accessorise variations include the JORDAN CHERIE which has an slimline elegant appearance and good castors for smooth movement across the floor, although you are advised not to move it backwards and forwards at too fast a speed. The JORDAN PAMMY moves reasonably well but has a tendency to topple over if spun too quickly. The JORDAN NESSA is a nice solid item but currently under recall with a view to improving its stability and smoothness of movement. |
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